Chapter 39:

My mum always told me to go for what I love, who I love in this case. But who do I chase when I'm torn between two amazing women. Unfortunately, mum isn't alive to guide me. I'm left with nothing but her memories which never ceases to remind me of how much of a failure I'm.

In the early days of my childhood, father had quickly picked interest in Omar, he was like him in many but not all ways. These few things that made him different are his best qualities. Apart from the dominant features of a Malik like the brown eyes and raven black hair, he is also proud, arrogant and cocky. He's serious, workaholic and a dedicated man. Just the type father thought was perfect for business. When Omar got his first tattoo at 18, father was furious. He cursed around accusing mother of spoiling us. It's funny, he was never home and when he finally came home for a couple of days, it would be strictly on business. Slowly, my little brother started deviating from father's picture of perfection.

I could understand Omar's pain. Born in riches was a blessing but a curse as well. He was shoved into business and responsibilities were catapulted his way just at a very young age. He wasn't given the opportunity to decide for himself, to carve his path. That had been done for him before his birth. He loathed how much he was like father, so he decided to shake things a bit. Getting tattoos, piercings and being a womaniser didn't do the trick. Father wouldn't just let him go, he saw something in Omar that he thought was ideal, very ideal.

I on the other hand was rebellious, right from the young age. We never met eye to eye on things. My carefree attitude wasn't what he wanted and i was glad. But deep down, it kind of hurt. Omar got everything he wanted, most of the companies were signed under his name. I was left with the few unimportant ones. So much for being the eldest! But this didn't stop me from looking after my little brother. I love him dearly.

Mum saw in me what my father didn't. Aside our same tanned skin, brown hair and grey eyes, we were also the closest bond that existed between a mother and son in the Malik's family. She loved Omar and I equally, but we spent more time together, considering father declaring Omar his favourite. As the eldest, she felt that it should have been me managing most of the companies not Omar. Perhaps it was pity that made our bond stronger because for as long as i can remember, I had go to her for everything. Be it a crush or silly problems. She was my safe zone.

I regretted leaving on my wedding day, Aisha suffered a great deal because of my stupid action. But mum's sadness was my biggest regret. I hadn't gone far, all along I was in New York, in one of our many mansions. Hiding from the eyes of the world. I had all my servants swear not to tell anyone of my whereabouts, but somehow she knew and the first thing she did was to visit me.

The only words she said to me that day were:

With that she hugged me and left. That was the last time I saw mum before the accident three weeks later. I was there at her funeral, people were either too sad to notice me or my disguised was too good. For some unknown reason, Omar and Aisha didn't attend the funeral. I went to his house and then, I understood why they were absent. Omar was in tears, sniffing loudly without caring about people. I couldn't blame him, mum was the only home we knew. His head rose and fell on her chest. Her arm caressing him.

"Shhh... I'm here, I'm here."

I wanted to bounce in there and hold him tight, tell him I'm here. But I had failed him again, I failed Aisha. The tension was hard to face.

"Goodbye brother. This world is full of wolves, don't be one. Don't let them get you." I whispered slowly and left.

But it wasn't long before I ran into Adam. "I'm sorry for your loss, may her soul rest in peace. Aren't you gonna go in to meet him. He needs you."

I shook my head in refusal. "I had failed them both."

Planning to visit them wasn't hard but acting on it was. I couldn't remember the number of times I passed by, postponing the visit. It went on for quite some weeks until i mustered up enough courage to. When Aisha saw me, of course I expected the dramatic effect but she forgave me way too soon. I was surprised but I came to realisation. She is in love with him and he loves her. These too were trying to not show it but it was obvious. And I was nothing but an ex fiancé. I felt guilty for abandoning her and pushing her towards Omar. They were forced to repair the damaged I caused. But I guess it ended up in a good way.

I was a bit jealous, after all she was going to be my wife if I hadn't chickened out. But I was happy for them. I was happy she found prince charming. Well, before I found out that he treated her like shit. I couldn't understand what he saw in Jenny. She was a slut alright, even a baby knows that. Aisha is a fun girl, nice, sweet and amazing. She's also gorgeous and hardworking. Why couldn't he stay with her and save me the thoughts of taking her back. Yeah, I had those thoughts the night I met Jenny. She was hell bent on tearing those two apart and used my condition as an advantage. I knew she just wanted Omar, but if I tried to be with Aisha again. I would end up hurting her. I dismissed her idea and threatened her to never bring up such matter. She simply smiled.

"You'll come around I know."

I drowned in vodka, that was the first time I had taken alcohol. Although it burned my throat, i couldn't stop, i just needed to forget it. But my heart was welcoming the idea.

The way he treated her like crap didn't stop though, it got worst till she almost died. I was mad at him for treating her that way. But worst, I was mad at myself for leaving her in the first place. It was then I made up my mind to try again, after all second chances exist right?

But again, mother's words came flowing again.

"What are you thinking of?" Her charming blue eyes looks deeply into mine.

"Nothing." I smile at her and lock our hands together as she comes forward and pecks me on my cheek.

"Let's go." We walk down the field with our hands intertwined.

I nuzzle my nose deeply into his neck, perceiving his manly sent. His hands wrapped around me as we settle to watch a movie.

"Horror?" I ask. His eyes widens as he stammers.

"W-why? Aren't... aren't you know s-scared?"

I withdraw from his arms and smirk. "Nope, are you?"

"Of course not." He tightens his grip around my waist. I come closer. "Let's just hope you don't cry like a little baby." I tease.

"Yeah yeah." He rolls his eyes.

The movie starts, popcorn in his hand as he brings it to my mouth. I munch it and stare into his eyes. His soft bright brown eyes different from the grey ones I had intended on marrying. Somehow, I feel that it's for the best. I'm slowly falling for Omar again and this time, I have hope he wouldn't break my heart.

He suddenly jumps, letting go of the popcorn that scatters everywhere. I burst into laughter when I realise he really is scared of horror movies.

"Scared chicken!" I fall on the floor laughing.

"I'm not." He argues and folds his arms.

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me." I wink as I settle back on the sofa which makes him snort in annoyance.

I scuff him on the shoulder lightly and cuddle him. His lips curves into a smile.

"I really love you Aisha." He whispers into my hair.

"I love you too." I find myself say unconsciously.

"Prove it." He draws back and smirks. I stare into his eyes and swiftly, I kiss him. It was gentle, slow and sweet. Holding emotions and memories.

He pulls me closer and carries me off my feet. He starts carrying me up the stairs, leaving the TV unattended.

"You know you're heavy right." He mutters against my lips.

"Yeah and you love me that way."

"True." He says and captures my lips again. We didn't mind turning on the lights. We kick off our shoes and shut the door.

• • • •

The sunlight pierces through the cotton and stings my eyes. I open it slowly and kick off the blanket.

"Oh!" I gasp and draw it back when I realise I have nothing decent on.

'What happened last night?'

I blush profusely as I recall the event last night. Gathering the cover round me lightly. I walk and drop it on the floor and rush into the bathroom. I lock it and wash my face.

"Oh my God!" I mentally exclaim and drive my fingers through my hair.

I stare at my reflection, my eyes slides down to my collar bone. My eyes almost pop out as I stare at the mark there.

A HICKEY!

'Calm down, it's nothing.' I assure myself and take a shower, ritual bath. Brush my teeth and leave to pray.

I pull off the lacy gown and hijab I used to pray. It gets replaced by a turtleneck light blue sweater, black turban and black sweatpants. I walk downstairs to meet Omar who greets me with a light kiss on the lips. I settle on the dinning table and smile at him as he serves me coffee.

"Thanks." I say and take a sip.

"I can see that you're covering the gift I gave you. We're going out pretty soon, glad you have your turban on. You can just change into a gown or something. But I gotta say, I look forward to giving out more gifts." He smirks. A rush of heat envelopes. This is cut by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it, continue with the cooking." I say.

I peep through. Recognising the person, I open the door.

"Assalaam-" I get cut by a deep kiss.