I pulled into Tweek's driveway and got out of my truck. I walked into his house because he said you can do that. Just walk into his house without knocking. Which you wouldn't think because of his anxiety? I don't know he's a weird guy.

I walked in and yelled his name and he yelled back he would be a minute so I sat down on the couch and waited for him. I saw his mom making coffee in the kitchen And I prayed to my lord and savior, Carrie Underwood, that she wouldn't try and talk to me.

Thankfully she didn't and like he said, just a minute or two later he came out of his room and he walked down most of the stairs

"Ready!" He said enthusiastically

"No, no, no. Tweek you are not wearing that"

"What?"

He had a mask and yellow gloves on. He wore big chunky yellow boots and had a can of disinfectant spray in each hand.

"Is it my jeans?"

I raised one eye brow and eyed him up and down

"Yeah Tweek, it's the jeans" I told him

"Okay look, the virus has been spreading a lot, Man! I can't risk catching it!"

He then waddled down the rest of the stairs in his big dumb boots and I shook my head and smiled. He's such a big dork.

"Tweek, only the elderly and really young people die from the Virus Okay?" I try to explain using logic

"Then why are they closing everything down?"

"Because they don't want big crowds because old people and people with really bad immune systems die if they catch it from a healthy person."

He just stared at me with those big brown eyes of his. I realized this wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't hurting anyone by wearing some dumb mask.

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Let's just get in the car"

"It's a truck" he corrected

"Whatever"

We finally got to Stan's. The car ride was a lot of joking around and singing, honestly. I'm really starting to get attached to him. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him. This is the fastest I've ever fallen for someone. It's weird? I mean I've only liked him for like a month and a half? I don't know I guess I'm just really lonely since Kenny fucked my cousin.

We stepped inside Stan's house and it instantly reeked of booze and weed. Oh and there was so. Much. Juul smoke. It kinda burned my eyes, but I quickly adjusted to the cotton candy flavored nicotine. My eyes still watered though.

"Yo!" Clyde ran over to us once we walked in "How y'all hangin up?"

"Hi Clyde! I'm good how about you?" Tweek told Clyde

"Dude what are you-?" Clyde busted out laughing "guys! Look at what Tweek's wearing!"

Clyde swept Tweek away from me and to a big group of guys that were all taller than me. Who the fuck were those guys?

I don't know but what I do I know is that Clyde and Tweek left me all alone. I have no clue where Token and Jimmy are and I sure as hell ain't gonna go look. I mean yeah I've been in this house a lot but there's so many people here and I'd just be wandering around like a dumbass.

I stopped standing and took off my jacket. I put in on the coat hanger and started walking toward the kitchen. Beer has to be in there somewhere right? I mean it's a kitchen.

I go in and a bunch of people are making out on the dining room table. Gross. I go into the fridge and look through my options. I see Bud lite, blue moon and that flavored orange bud lite. I take that and walk to the couch.

I sit down and look around the room. It's mostly just a haze of smoke. Some weird jazz is playing while people are talking. After a little bit of just sitting around. Stan plopped onto the couch. He was drunk as hell, you could see it in his eyes.

"Yo what's popping Craig?" He started to grin like an idiot "my homie"

"Hey Stan" I replied

He looked off to the other side of the room and then back at me.

"Lmao did you take that from my mom"

....

Did he...

Did he just say 'lmao' in real life?

God I wanna go home.

"Uh I guess?"

"Cant handle your real beer huh Craigie boy?"

"Oh no I can, it just tastes like toilet water mixed with vinegar and soap"

"Gross, Craig"

I smiled and took another wig of my beer. It was empty now. I really don't feel like getting up. Ugh.

"Dude where's your parents? You have parties like every weekend" I asked

"Oh my moms working the night shift and my dads in the barn"

"Testing products?" I smiled

"You bet." He replied

I looked back down at my beer bottle and got up to go get another one. In the kitchen people were still making out. I throw my bottle in the recycling bin and grabbed another beer.

I turned around and you'll never guess who I saw making out.

"Hey Kenny"

Kenny and Red stopped having their youngest down each other's throats and looked at me

"You're a fucking asshole" I told him "oh and Red, stick this up your ass, you stupid fucking cunt"

I flipped them off with my free hand and tried to walk away but something caught my attention.

"Why are you such a dick Craig! You guys broke up like over a month ago! Just grow the fuck up and move on!" Red yelled toward me

I stopped in my place and a smile slowly spread on my face. I took a swig off beer before turning towards them.

"You really wanna talk about maturity? Huh Red? Cause your man threw pebbles at my window a little bit after I caught you fooling around. He said he was sorry. He said he wanted me back. But here he is. With you. So maybe instead of being so focused on yourself, and how 'all female friends are fake as fuck' when really all your friends left you because they took Wendy's side, you should probably keep your man out of my DMs"

I showed her my phone as proof and walked away.

I just threw a live grenade into this relationship.

...

Don't judge me, this is how I feel closure.

Damn, I feel powerful. I flip people off and be a dick like that all the time but that felt empowering. I hate this terrible music though. It sucks, who chose this playlist?

I need to go somewhere quiet. I open the door to Stan's bedroom. But two people are making out there too.

"Craig!" Wendy said, startled

"Woah, uh" I smirked a tiny bit but I tried my hardest to look deadpan serious "I guess I should leave you two alone"

I smirked and slowly closed the door while staring at them

"Don't be a asshole Craig" Bebe told me.

"It's an asshole" I walked out of there and closed the door.

Some random couple tried to get into Stan's room. They were both grinning and clearly drunk. I put my hand on the girls hand when she tried to reach for the door handle.

"Don't go in there" I reassured them.

I decided I needed fresh air so I walked outside, pushing through crowds of people trying to get to the front door. People were at the bonfire too. And out on the porch more people were making out.

"God how are there even this many kids at our school?" I mumbled to myself

I tried to step over people and get off the porch steps. Once I finally got off I heard someone scream my name

"YOOOO CRAIG!" Clyde stood up from the logs and waved his arms all over so I could see him

I smiled and rolled my eyes as I walked over towards them. Damn I've been smiling a lot lately huh?

I walked through the dewy grass towards Clyde and the small group around the fire.

"Hey Craig join the party!" Kyle said

"Don't try to be cool, Kyle" I said sitting on a free lawn chair.

"Okay so Craig, we were all gonna play truth or dare, you in?" Clyde asked, handing me a corona extra

"Absolutely not" I stated

"Laaaame!" Cartman shouted

"You're just afraid you're gonna get an embarrassing dare! Huh? You chicken" Clyde said

"That's actually exactly what I'm afraid of, because knowing you, Clyde, I'm probably gonna get a dare that ends with getting my nuts chopped off so I'm good" I took another swig if my beer while everyone stared lightly laughing

"You really don't know how to have fun huh Craig?" Scott told me

Everyone did an array of 'oooooohhhh!'s like I was gonna start a fight and kick his teeth in right then and there

I just shrugged, and flipped him off while taking a sip of my drink.

For some reason that hit a little close to home. Even if I didn't show it. Maybe because I've been really self conscious and sensitive lately. My 8th grade English teacher told me that cis boys get periods too so I don't know, that's probably it. Not like blood periods obviously but like phases where we're moody and crabby when our Testosterone levels raise for like a week. She could've been lying but she got this big book out. She did have a psychology major so...

"Helloooo? Earth to spaceman Craig?"

I blinked and Clyde was waving in front of my face

I stared him straight in the eyes and he just nonchalantly said "we're doing fireworks"

I got up and walked over to the huge lawn area where all the fireworks were set up. I felt dizzy walking and it was a little hard to keep my balance but I managed.

Almost everyone was standing around this area. There was just one firework on a little ledge thing but it was huge. You could tell they didn't buy that thing legally.

"Okay everyone, Stan was crying in his bathtub holding onto a bottle of whiskey, so he gave me the honors of lighting the firework!" Clyde yelled holding a lighter

He just stood there with his arms in the air for a couple of seconds before, like, five people started slowly clapping

"Thank you, thank you." He started bowing "it truly is an honor"

He started to bend down and he lit the firework.

Halfway into the thingy burning out I realized, he was way to close.

"Clyde you dumb fuck!" I yelled running towards him and pushing him back so his face doesn't blow up.

The firework finally went off and everyone obviously went into an array of 'oooohhh's and 'aaaaahhhh's. I mean what else are you supposed to do it's a firework?

Me and Clyde got up and before he could even say anything some kid clung themselves to me.

"Oh Craig! Clyde could've died! You just saved his life! You're my hero!" She said, wrapping her grip tighter.

"Who the fuck are you?" I Said

"Becky."

I'm-

...

what?

"Wait a minute.. aren't you Tricia's friend?"

"Uh huh" she nodded her head and started gripping tighter

"You're literally in 8th grade you shouldn't be here" apparently I was the only one who noticed that and cared?

"I'm gonna be in 9th in September"

I just looked at her confused and looked at Clyde

"Clyde get this child off of me"

"I don't know man she said she's almost in 9th grade"

"Clyde!"

Clyde's snickering turned into full blown laughter as he said

"Okay, Okay, time for you to go Becky" and he tried to rip her off my body

She finally got off and Clyde basically had to wrestle her to keep her that way

Wait a minute..

..

I just now realized something...

Stan's Dad is a pot head..

And Shelly moved out a while ago for collage...

...

So what did they do with the extra room?

I started sprinting towards the house. Once I got inside I tried to move the best I could but everybody's vaping so it's a little hard to see. I know I mentioned it like 8 times by now but I just really hate vape. Y'all can't crack a window? It's the middle of July it's not like it's cold out.

I finally found Shelly's room. It wasn't a big huge garden of weed like I was hopin- I mean expecting! Just a guest bedroom. A boring guest bedroom. I sat on the bed and started drinking beer more.

It was nice in here. It was nice being all alone. The only reason I went to this thing was because Tweek was going. I was his ride too. So that sucks. I can't just leave without him.

I put my drink on the floor and started to lie down on the bed. It was nice. The bed was fairly comfy. But then I started to drink more. Then I went out to get more. Then more. And more.

I just got plastered in the kitchen and went back to the guest bedroom. God I was so bored. Drinking helped. But I now know for a fact Jimmy and Token aren't here because they just posted a picture of them hanging out with their girlfriends. Token and Nichole and Jimmy and Heidi. Jimmy and Heidi were so on and off it was kinda sad. Usually over stupid stuff but the girl does have a little bit of trust issues.

I mean she dated cartman.

I just drunkenly played on my phone until it died. Two seconds before it shut off it said it was 8:47 P.M. . Ive been here a while huh? What if Tweek wants to leave? He'll come find me, I'm fine

After just sitting there with nothing to do for a couple minutes my stomach began to twist and my heart felt heavy.

I'm all alone...

...

Metaphorically and literally.

...

A sadness washed over me and I just realized who I was and where I was. I just kinda sat in it for a few minutes wanting to cry. Everyone expects me to be some monotone cool guy that just says what he wants all the time because he doesn't care about other people's opinions. And I don't! Other people are stupid. But I used to be like that so. Much. That it's just what people expect from me now. If I show the slightest of emotion other than boredom and anger than people look at me, disgusted. Like I'm a freak. And that was fine when I was in 6th grade! Those were the only emotions I even felt back then. Other than the occasional happiness I got from small things. Like a cute new guy came to our town or I got a cool video game for my birthday. It was like how some people each a bunch of small healthy snacks consistently throughout the day instead of three large meals, but like with serotonin.

The door swung open and was quickly slammed shut.

My eyes darted up and Tweek was standing against the door holding it shut. My stomach dropped seeing him and it felt like my heart was twisted in knots. I'm such a lovesick idiot.

My small #sadboi moment was immediately faded from my memories and I grew a huge grin

"Heeyyyy Tweek" Oh shit I'm a lot drunker than I thought I was.

"Hey Craig" he said through his mask

He took it off, along with his gloves and sat down next to me. He seemed out of breath. Why was he running?

I chuckled a little "had an issue with the press there Buck-a-roo?"

He smiled "Yeah they wouldn't leave me alone. They kept making memes about it, thinking I was joking. Then they were doing Tik Toks with me"

he chuckled a little "it was just... it was just crazy..."

"Bro! Bro, you're gonna be so famous on Tik Tok! "

"Since when do you say bro?" He asked

"Since I had two bud lite oranges, three corona extras, and one Miller lite"

"Six beers isn't that much you light weight" Tweek told me

"I may have also had a couple shots"

"Okay well that's completely different." He said

After a short silence, I started giggling like a weirdo.

"What?" Tweek asked

I didn't answer, I just kept giggling

"Why are you laughing?" He said, laughing himself

God I drank way to much,

"Hey, hey Tweek"

"What?"

I fell onto his lap.

"Wanna know a secret?" I Said, loopy

"Not if it's a bad one"

"Well are you a meanie poopy pants?"

Tweek started laughing at me and my current mental state. How dare he make fun of alcoholics like me! Dick.

"I'd hope not" he said

"Then get close"

"Uuuuhm, I don't-"

"Not like that you perv" I said "gimme your ear"

"Come here lil mama lemme whisper in yo ear" I whispered while he was moving closer to me.

When his ear was finally in my reach I whispered my biggest darkest secret.

"Okay this is super duper important so don't tell anyone okay?"

"Okay I won't," he said giggling

"No I'm serious, this is actually super important" I said slapping on my best 'serious sober man' voice I could do

I could feel him tense up and actually start to worry.

I paused for like two seconds for dramatic effect

"I'm gay."

"Oh come on man!" He said, pushing me off his lap " you can't do that, I thought you had cancer or something!"

I was laughing my ass off while he was rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

Then after our laughter died down I was just staring at him. Cause I was a drunk idiot. I mean what else I should there to do? There's a pretty boy right in front of me and I lost all idea of how not to act like a creep what do you want me to do?

Tweek kept looking behind him, thinking I was looking at something else

"Why are you staring at m-"

I cut him off with "your eyes are really pretty"

"Uuh" he swallowed , "thanks? They're just brown though" he started playing with his fingers and looked at that.

"Yeah but they compliment your face so nicely. They're so big and look so pretty with your double eyelids. And they just look really pretty with your skin tone and hair color and freckles in a way that brings attention to your face. Blue eyes wouldn't do that on you. People really do take brown eyes for granted sometimes. Like how if the sunlight hits them just right, they melt into a pot of honey. It's like gold trying to desperately pull you back down to the earth"

I looked up at Tweek.

"Are you hot? Your face is really red" I said already opening the window behind us

"No I'm not-" he said with me already climbing over him, trying to reach the window

I sat back down "There. The weed smell was getting in here anyways"

I grabbed my beer off the floor and sat criss-cross apple sauce facing him.

I continued drinking my flavored beer and just relaxed. Then I remembered my super sad emo boy moment that happened before he walked in.

"Wait!" I gasped "Tweek! How are we supposed to get home!" I pointed towards my beer

He smiled "I have a drivers license you goon"

I fell back and laughed "oh right, I forgot"

He smiled and my back felt all sweaty.

"So was there an actual secret or were you fucking with me just for that joke?" He asked

I smirked "you know me, I'm very mysterious-"

"You're a dork" Tweek said, cutting me off

"-A man of many secrets" I continued

"You sound like a magician"

"Maybe that's one of my secrets" I stated

"Hey Tweek"

"Yeah?"

I smiled and opened my mouth, about to say something but my smile quickly dropped.

"Why don't people like me?"

I dug my hands into my face and then into his chest.

I could tell he was took back by the question, even though I couldn't see him

"What do you mean? People like you" he said

"Plus," he continued "I thought you didn't care what other people think?"

"I don't!" I got up from his chest so I could throw my arms out dramatically "Not people that matter anyway"

He just looked at me concerned

"Like if Kevin or Cartman or Scott hate me, then it wouldn't bother me" I told him "but it's just"

I threw my arms dramatically in the air again "I'm not that scary!"

Tweek sat patiently and waited for me to continue