《Teenage Dirtbag -South Park Creek》"Everything is not what it seems"- Selena Gomez
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I hate you Clyde. Clyde, got damn I forgot your middle name, Donovan.
Well here we are at the pond, pushing our paddle boats out onto the pond. Oh but of course you wanted to ride with Jimmy since he was the "handicap rowing boat campion" which doesn't make any sense because of his legs.
How convenient that it's just Tweek and I. Alone.
Fuck. Now I'm thinking about how much of an idiot I was at the coffee shop earlier. I'm so stupid.
Tweek pushed our boat out onto the water and hoped in.
He sighed once he got in and smiled, he was happy to be out here. I on the other hand..
"So!" He said breaking my thoughts, "you gonna start paddling there noodle legs?"
I smiled and blushed "nah I think I'll let you do all the heavy lifting"
I stretched my arms and legs out which didn't take up that much space, I close down my eyes still smiling.
"F-Fuck you dude" I could tell he was grinning even though I couldn't see him
Score.
I readjusted myself and started paddling out onto the middle of the pond along with Tweek. The boat moved a lot faster when I started helping him.
Once we got to the middle of the lake we stopped paddling. The sun glared in his eyes
"Man it's bright out huh?" He said squinting up at the sky
"You want me to move it?" "No thats okay—" "I can move it if you want"
I started to paddle on my side to make it at an angle where neither of us had the sun shine in our eyes.
"Oh Uh Thanks," he rubbed the back of his back while smiling at the water
"No problem" I stated, smiling back.
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There was an awkward pause of silence from both of us and it made me uncomfortable so I tried to break it.
"Man I pictured like swan paddle boats not this,, leaky shit"
Tweek giggles and I felt my back warm up "swan boats? So was Clyde right? This is a date?" He leans forward and smirks
I could tell he was just trying to make me all defensive and push my buttons but I won't let him this time.
I smiled back, I like his new cocky attitude, it's kinda hot
"It can be whatever you want to be baby"
"Pfft! Baby? You sound like a 1920s ex-army man trying to score a baby basket"
I laughed "a baby basket?"
"Ya know, like a womb"
I laughed more
"Isn't that how they sounded back then? Like, oh Roger I lost my lace umberella in this dreaded wind but at least I'm here with YOU sugar pie"
I grinned and played along, slapping on a terrible 20s accent "it's alright darlin' the ol' chaps Clyde and Bonabell will get it back"
"But Roger you got me that, oh many moons ago on our anniversary!"
"That was the best time of ma life. When I asked you to be mine before I went out ta the sea"
"I love you sugar pumpkins!"
I got on one knee "Oh Darlene I love ya so much will you take me as your man, and you as my baby basket!"
He laughed and stood up "Oh puddin' I will!" He slipped on a fake ring onto his ring finger
I chuckled a bit and stood up too. Because I'm an idiot.
The boat couldn't take that much weight on it all at once since it was so small and we tipped over.
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My head immediately jumped out of the water. It was absolutely freezing. Which didn't make sense since it was early July but to be fair it was almost 7pm.
His head leaped out almost immediately too. He spit out water and gasped.
There was a lull
A pause where we just stared at each other. My feet felt tingly and my ears heated up
Tweek started to giggle behind his hand before erupting into laughter.
I started giggling too making my ears more red.
But then I felt a light, cool breeze blow over us.
Now usually you see my hat would protect me from harsh breezes like this. Obviously that's it's only job besides covering my ears which were red all the time but uh i didn't have my hat. Tweek wasn't laughing at us falling into the water. He was laughing at me.
My eyes went wide at this realization and I began swimming frantically Trying to look for it. Finally I found it in front of Jimmy and Clyde's boat.
"Haha! You f-fell over?" Jimmy asked
"No Jimmy we wanted to be wet in cold in this freezing fucking water"
"Why are you blushing so much?" Clyde asked
I glared at him so he knows why before I put my hat back on.
"Ooooh!"
"W- ...w-w-why Oh?" Jimmy asked
"Craig's blushing because of Tweek"
"Why? Did you- did you do s-something s-st-stupid in front of him?"
Clyde laughed "oh he's done quite a few stupid things in front of him. They like each other. Like like like each other."
"Really!?" Jimmy exclaimed
"Tweek doesn't like me and I don't even know if I like him stupid pants!"
"It sure sounded like you did when you were gushing over him the other night" Clyde mumbled
"You-"
"Or when you totally froze in front of him earlier today cause you thought his laugh was cute?"
"I-"
"You can say you like him, I know it's only been like a month but you remember how heartbroken you were over kenny and you guys only dated for about a month and a half"
I didn't try to interrupt him this time.
"You're allowed to have feelings"
I just slapped on a monotone face before swimming away at absolute top speed.
I try to catch my breath before climbing back onto the boat
"Lets go change out of these clothes" I say.
"Alright sugar pumpkins"
And with that we leave.
I just go back to his house since it was closer and I'm tired. He gives a towel and some of his clothes I can change into. He had a huge PS4 shirt and big blocky pajama shorts which obviously fit into me horribly
I plopped into his bed and got under the covers.
"Wanna watch Wizards of Waverly Place?" I say as he pulls the curtains, "I know it's your favorite Disney show"
He smiled and turned off the lights "how'd you know that?"
I smiled at him with only 1/3 of my head peeking through the covers "I have my sources"
It was Clyde. Duh. Who else would it be, Token?
He got in the bed with me and pulled out his laptop as he input his Disney plus info.
I tried to memorize it for me and Tricia but fuck did Tweek have the longest password in history.
We just binge watched Selena Gomez torture everyone around her with her apathy and sarcasm until it got dark and we fell asleep.
God I love her. Alex Russo has always been relatable.
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