I sighed and pinched inbetween my eyes.

"A boat ride?" I Said, leaning back in my desk chair.

"Seriously. That's the best you can come up with? A boat ride."

"Hey you know I'm not good at this stuff!" Clyde told me, "That's why I'm single"

"That's why I'm single too" I Sighed again

"Can't you ask Token or Jimmy for help?"

"No! It has to be you!"

"You can't just ... dump all your problems on me, though" he said while falling onto my bed " I mean not because I don't want to help you, but 'cause I don't know what to tell you! I always think the ladies will love it. Then they don't"

"But I'm not trying to impress a lady!" I say spinning around in my chair to face Clyde "I just want to do something nice for him!"

God when did I get all mushy? I used to just shove my feeling so deep down that I forgot about them but now! I actually want to do something nice. I hate doing nice things, I hate doing anything!

"Okay so no boat ride then" he said while ripping out the piece of paper in his notebook and blindly tossing it towards the trash can

I dropped my chin into my hands "I was just thinking, since you're a lot closer to Tweek, that you could tell me what kinda stuff he like. We don't need this huge romantic gesture, I just want to give him a lot of little things over time"

"Man you really are head over heels huh?"

I glared at Clyde.

"Well..." he began,

"if you really want to know what he likes" Clyde whispered while getting closer to me.

"ASK HIM!" He yelled in my face.

Little shit I should set him on fire while he's sleeping tonight.

"Ow!" I yelled rubbing my ear "No that's weird"

"And asking everything about him from a friend that isn't even his closest friend isn't?"

"I'm not gonna ask Wendy or Bebe! If they found out I like him they wouldn't shout their mouth and they'd tell him!"

"What's so wrong with that?" Clyde asked

I glared at him with a mix of confusion and disgust in my eyes.

"What do you mean what's wrong with that! I'm not ready for him to know! What if I get rejected?"

Clyde chuckled, "I don't think you'll have to worry about that"

"What?"

That makes literally zero sense, he's such an idiot.

"Just please tell me what he likes" I begged "like what's his favorite movie? I need to know these things so if he has a bad day I can be the one to cheer him up"

Clyde smirked and raised one eyebrow. Gross.

"Write this down" he said

I got my notepad back from his lap and grabbed a pencil while looking eagerly up at him.

"His favorite movie is back to the future,His favorite artists are Queen and Billy Joel,"

I interrupted Clyde and said "ew really? Billy Joel?" While looking up from the notebook

He glared at me and I went back to writing

"His favorite chocolate is dark chocolate, his favorite color is like, a pine green, ya know that kinda shade" I nodded "he loves Star Wars and Indiana Jones,I mean he loves any classic 80s movie, dirty dancing, ghost, breakfast club, clueless-"

"Clueless wasn't made until 1995"

Clyde ignored me and continued "and he absolutely loves diet grape soda"

"What? I've never heard of that movie" I added

"I ment the beverage, numbnuts"

"I thought he was obsessed with coffee though?"

Clyde shrugged "he can love two things"

"I mean he loves both you and coffee"

I Looked up and glared at him for the 14th time today. He was sitting on my bed with his legs crossed and was grinning at me like an idiot.

My glares don't even work on him at this point. Up until like 5th grade my stares would leave him running while balling his eyes out but now he wants them. He makes dumb ass puns just to see my reaction.

"You're my best friend, Clyde"

He crossed his legs up in the air and took a sip of his Lacroix "I know"

I rolled my eyes, smirked, then doodled on my notepad paper. I just doodled small dumb stuff. Like space or a cute dragon or something.

After a long uncomfortable silence I finally asked him something out of the blue, though it was on my mind for a while now.

"Do you think I haven't liked Tweek for long enough?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just... do you wonder if I should wait?"

"Wait for...?" Clyde asked

"I don't know! This! Like have I liked him for a long enough time to do all these things?"

Clyde laughed and repositioned himself on the bed so he could face me

"Craig you're not confessing your love to him! You're just planning on cheering him up on a bad day if and when he has one! Well it's Tweek so chances are it'll be tomorrow but I degrees" Clyde reassured me, kicking his legs in the air.

"you're not singing him a powerful love song written in a different language in Venice at midnight, though you definitely should do that. You're literally just doing nice stuff for him because you want him to feel nice. These are things normal people do to friends"

Clyde continued saying, "unlike our entire friend group where we spontaneously plan a trip to the Grand Canyon"

Clyde perked up and looked at me "actually that was you!" He said

I laughed and smiled while looking at the ground "Yeah that was me" I giggle

"Where did you even come up with that?"

"Like you said, it was spontaneous"

"There's no way you had your own spontaneous idea" he said "you're not creative!"

"Fuck off!"

He giggled while I lightly smacked him

It was getting late but that didn't matter. We both had cars, we didn't have to work on the weekends, if ever honestly. I work like three days a week. Plus it was summer so we didn't have to worry about school.

"Ugh," he said growling "I don't wanna drive home!"

I smiled a bit and asked "is this your way of asking to spend the night?"

Clyde looked down at me and said "Craig, you've known me for 8 years. You already know the answer to that"

I hopped up "I'll go get more blankets"

When I came back and threw them on him I sat back down in my chair that I've been sitting in for the past 5 hours, I asked him a question that didn't seem very important to me.

"So Clyde you like anyone"

He looked up and me with his mouth half open as if he were to say something. He didn't. He wiped his palms on his jeans and swallowed. He wouldn't look at me.

I smiled and asked "just tell me this, boy crush or girl crush?"

He looked up at me and softly said "boy crush" with a small smile.

Aw, cute.

"Okay so!" I Said while sitting more upright in my chair "is it..." I started to think and eliminated all the women at our school.

"Is it uh, Kevin?"

He laughed and said " no! I don't like him anymore"

"Give me a hint! I can't think of anyone!"

Clyde just started at me "you literally just started"

"Okay, Okay. Is he hot?" I asked "at least by like my standards"

Clyde tried to hide his huge grin and said "yeah you'd think he's pretty hot"

"Oh. Okay" I said leaning back in my chair, putting my finger up to my chin "well this changes everything"

I snapped my fingers and pointed at him while grinning "is it-"

"It's Kenny!" He interrupted.

A silence fell over the room

What did he say?

What do I say? How do I react? How should I react? I mean the guy cheated on me and now my best friend likes him? How long has he liked Kenny? Did he flirt with him while we were together? Did Kenny cheat on me with Clyde too? Should I be mad? I'm not mad though. Am I? I don't know what to feel. How should I feel?

"I never..." Clyde paused "I never did anything with him if that's what you're wondering"

I just stared at him

"I mean the only person who knows beside you is Tweek"

I blinked and asked "was he the person you said you liked when we were driving to the Grand Canyon and you crashed into that pothole?"

I felt a faint smile spread on my face when I asked "is that why you tensed up when i teased you about knowing who you liked?"

He let out a fast "maybe"

"BAHAHAHAHA" I laughed hysterically, He sounded like a damn toad!

He basically just said ribbit! Holy fucking shit I'm way too sleep deprived. This should not be as funny as it is to me. Why the fuck am I laughing

I wiped away a tear and told him we should get to sleep.