《Inanimate insanity Headcanons》Salt and Paper
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Step siblings.
Paper would always hear about Salts newest crush. Quickly realized that Pepper likes salt. Also realized that salt can't take a fuckin hint.
Lowkey almost killed her when she told him she loved Oj, lowkey through, lowkey.
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- In Serial280 Chapters
The Daily Grind
A terminally bored IT guy finds a sub-dimension in the back stairwell of his office building. It escalates from there.
8 1211 - In Serial10 Chapters
The Artificer
It isn't every day that you are told that you don't belong in your own world. It isn't every day you learn that your parents weren't even born on this "plane of existence". It isn't every day that you are repatriated to a completely different world. Yet for Erik, that was exactly what happened, and exactly how he found himself in a different world with no way home. Forced to adapt to a rather unique situation he finds himself enjoying the challenge, both physically and mentally and the novel ideas and new technologies he introduces to the locals quickly cement his reputation within the community. After all, those ideas and inventions might be some of the only things standing between life and death...
8 120 - In Serial6 Chapters
Gaston (Disney)
Gosh, its awesome to see him (Gaston). He’s never down in the dumps! Every guy here'd love to be him (Gaston) even when taking his lumps. There's no man in town as admired as him, he's everyone's favorite guy! Everyone's awed and inspired by him and it's not very hard to see why: No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston For there's no man in town half as manly! (perfect, a pure paragon) Ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley, and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on! Who plays darts like Gaston? Who breaks hearts like Gaston? Who’s much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston? As a specimen, yes, he’s intimidating; my, what a guy, that Gaston! He doesn’t need encouragement, you boneheaded fools. The only ones who need encouragement is you! (Was that too much? I say no.) No one fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston. In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston! When he hunts, he sneaks up with his quiver – beasts of the field say a prayer! First he carefully aims for the liver… then he shoots from behind! Is that fair? He doesn’t care. No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston. In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston. (He’s especially good at expectorating!) Ten points for Gaston! When he was a lad he ate four dozen eggs every morning to help him get large. And now that he’s grown he eats five dozen eggs, so he’s roughly the size of a barge! Who has brains? Entertains? Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston? (He uses antlers in all of his decorating!) Say it again: Who’s a man amongst men? Who’s a super success? Don’t you know? Can’t you guess? Ask his fans and his end(less) hangers-on! There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down! And his name’s G-A-S-T-O-N GASTON!
8 112 - In Serial11 Chapters
Twisted King
Bullied, tossed aside, silenced. I have been suppressed by the powerful my entire life, my only choice now is to use my own power to carve my bloody path towards vengeance.
8 77 - In Serial102 Chapters
I Have Even Read the Rulebook!
As all stories begin, Prof died. Yes, truck-kun had something to do with that, but also a bird, a cat and some rebar. When he was presented with with the opportunity in the Afterlife Administration Bureau to be transmigrated into a game-like fantasy world, he did something, no one ever did: he read the Rulebook. Follow Prof on his road to be rich without working, touring a whole new world without a care and witness his realisation, that despite having read the Rulebook the folks living with the System for untold millennia know more about the rules. Important notes: 1, I'm not a native speaker, so be prepared for occassional typos, iffy grammar and maybe awkward sentences. The spell check was running, when I wrote the chapters, but it works in strange ways... If you point out mistakes, I will try to correct them 2, Scheduling will be two chapters a week, posted Saturdays before noon (CET). Depending on how much new chapters I can write consistently there will be probably more but as long as I have leftover chapters, the two per week will be posted no matter what. Chapters will be around 1500-2500 words as MS Word counts it. 3, I did not and will not post this novel on another site, if you find it somewhere else, please inform me 4, The Main Character's progression is slow, there will be no Levels, Skills, Abilities, Feats, Perks and Cheat Powers raining down on him 5, I've put Comedy as a genre because of my writing style not because the novel is a comedy per se. On the other hand, Traumatising Content is there because there is a lot of speciesism - those Elves are not nice people. 6, I put a lot of pop-cultural references into the chapters, try to find them! Enjoy!
8 716 - In Serial12 Chapters
Life is a game, with intrusive microtransactions.
Life is a simulation. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging we are just a part of someone's dream, lines of code existing to give purpose for some machine or anything, but why would this unknown entity add microtransactions in it? Maybe because that way it can wake up faster, by consuming parts of it's dream, until... well, who cares about an unknown entity that has nothing to do with this particular story?
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