“You should come see the war rooms!” Gem announced into the silence of the room.

I’d been caught up in my thoughts about Peggy but I forced myself to smile widely.

“Oh, yeah. That sounds cool!” I came out weirdly flat but Gem smiled appreciatively at my effort.

“Can we take you now or do you have to stay here?” Gem asked, jumping up and bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly.

“Urm… I don’t know, I’m not hooked up to anything anymore so I guess I can go?” I shrugged.

“Awesome!”

Gem reached out to help me up but Cas interrupted her.

“Wait, wait, why don’t we ask Chal if you can go? I don’t want us to get kicked out of the medBay again.”

Gem rolled her eyes dramatically.

“It was a misunderstanding! We barely kidnapped you. I’ll go ask him though!” She called before racing from the room as I stared confusedly at Cas.

“What happened?”

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Gem and Cory were there when I first woke up and I was really hungry—“

“Literally the first words out of your mouth were ‘Burgers’ and then you asked about the rest of us,” Cory interjected.

“Anyway! I was really hungry so they took me to the canteen and Chal got a little bit worried that I’d somehow been taken by Guardians or something…” Cas trailed off.

A laugh bubbled out of my mouth.

“So… What’s it been like here? Really?”

Cas shrugged slightly.

“It’s been… okay. They tried to put up in lessons at first, Andy thought it was important. Like it would give us a sense of normality or something but it didn’t go very well. There’s a bunch of tutors from our base here but… I don’t know. We were pretty distractible I guess so there wasn’t much point. Plus they had to come and get us everything there was a Council briefing. Oh yeah, that’s been kind of a mess.” Cas said, in reply to my raised eyebrows.

“Why have there been Council briefings?”

He hesitated but luckily Gem burst back into the room pushing a wheelchair.

“Because of us. You, really. Our story got… big. The Council kept pulling it off the web but people keep re-uploading it. And not just us! Other people, on all planets! The Council is furious. And that’s not it! People are protesting! Just like when we were in prison but it’s gotten even worse! They keep trying to get it under control or send in more Guardians but it isn’t working!” The glee on Gem’s face was echoed by Cas and Cory.

“Wow.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“I know! Are you ready to go? Chal said that you should be fine walking because they’ve been pumping muscle builders into you so you don’t atrophy too much but you still might be a little tired so it would probably be best if you go in the wheelchair!”

I looked at it uncomfortably. Initially, I was reluctant to use it because I didn’t want to be seen to be struggling but tiredness was gnawing at me.

“Yeah, probably a good idea.”

I started to sit up and pulled the blanket off myself.

“Oh, wait! You can’t go in that!

I glanced down at the thin gown I was wearing.

“Ah, good idea. Do we have silvers or anything here?” I asked, glancing at the strange dark blue jumpsuits they were wearing.

They looked very similar to the standard-issue silver jumpsuits we wore around the base with a reinforced zip in the front and a thick belt but they seemed more structured, less comfortable.

“Nah, they don’t wear silvers here but I can get you one of these jumpsuits, they’re super cool!” Gem jumped up again and bounced towards the door.

I watched her go, my eyebrows creasing in concern. She was too energetic, too enthusiastic. It felt fake. She was trying too hard to convince me she was okay.

“What’s so great about the jumpsuits?” I asked, looking at Cas for clarification.

“They are pretty cool actually. Because we’re on a ship, they’re basically flight suits in case of emergencies. They’ve got built-in helmets and oxygen. They won’t last long out in space but they’d work during an emergency.”

He held his left arm out and clenched his fist twice to make his helmet slip out of his suit. He clenched his fist again and it fell back.

“That makes sense, I guess.”

“Got it!” Gem announced as the door slid open once more.

She dropped the surprisingly heavy bundle of blue fabric onto the bed before turning to Cas and Cory.

“Out you two!”

Cas’ eyebrows came together and he looked at me, anxiety evident on his face.

“Can’t we just stay and face the other way like normal?” He asked, his eyes flicking between Gem and me.

“No. Out now please!”

Cas looked at me but I shrugged.

“I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

He stood, clearly unhappy and walked from the room, glancing back at me as Cory followed him.

I raised my eyebrows quizzically at Gem and she didn’t respond for a moment instead she turned, clicking a button on the medBot that made the windows turn opaque.

“I thought you might want the chance to get cleaned up and changed without them in here too.”

She was right. I felt grimy. I’d not showered in too long. I could feel my hair lying flat on my head, slick with grease.

“Thank you. Is there a shower here?” I asked, scooting up in the bed and looking around.

My eyes landed on a door I’d barely noticed before.

“Yeah, you got one of the fancy rooms… Do you need help?” She asked, clicking another button on the Bot that made the railings on the edge of my bed drop down.

My first impulse was to say no but even sitting up straight was taking a lot of effort.

“Maybe,” I said reluctantly.

Gem held her hands out to me and waited for me to swing my legs around. I did so, allowing her to pull me up into standing and taking a moment to get used to it. I stood, leaning heavily on her and swaying slightly before starting towards the bathroom.

It took a lot of effort and a lot of concentration to cross the room and step into the bathroom. Gem hovered behind me anxiously, her hand never far from my elbows but I made it there. The door opened automatically revealing a small bathroom with a shower built into the corner. The grey tiled walls gleamed and the mirror was buffed to perfection.

“Wow. It’s super clean in here,” I muttered.

“Yeah… It’s kinda weird. Some people are treating us… Differently.”

My head snapped around to look at her and I almost fell into the door frame but Gem caught me quickly.

“Differently how?”

She hesitated.

“In a good way mostly. You’ll see when we leave here. They’re still calling us heroes and stuff.”

I felt my face screw up. I didn’t love the idea of that. We weren’t heroes. We did what anyone would do.

“Yeah. I don’t like it either. It’s made it kinda hard to fit in.” Gem shrugged. “Do you want to brush your teeth or shower first?”

I glanced longingly at the seemingly unused toothbrush on the sink. My mouth tasted stale somehow and I couldn’t wait for that to be gone.

Gem burst into laughter behind me.

“Okay, teeth it is? Shall I turn the shower on so it gets hot?”

“Yeah, please.”

I leant heavily on the sink as I leisurely cleaned my teeth and gargled with mouthwash. It felt so good. I immediately felt more awake and fresher.

Steam fogged the mirror hiding my pale and drawn reflection and instead tempting me into the water. I didn’t care that Gem was in the room, we’d lived together for too long and were far too used to seeing each others body, I slipped out of my open back gown and stepped under the spray. I felt some of the stress and tension flow away from me as I washed the grease from my hair, lathering it up with conditioner and combing my fingers through it. By the time I emerged from the shower, I felt more at peace but exhausted.

“Better?” Gem asked, looking up from the nail she’d been picking at.

“A hundred times. I wanted to ask; how are you doing with everything? Like, Peggy and all that.”

Her face froze but she resumed picking even more violently.

“I’m fine. It’s hard but I’m fine.”

I gave her a moment whilst I wrapped the towel that had been hanging on the back of the door around myself before looking back at her.

“I’m fine. Honestly, Aries,” She insisted.

I smiled at her gently but didn’t reply.

She looked down, raising her hand to her mouth to chew her nail but when she looked back up, her eyes were brimming with tears.

“It’s my fault Peggy was taken.”

She covered her face and broke off into loud sobs.

“Oh, Gem.”

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly as she cried.

Is everything alright in there? Cory thought, his voice edged with worry.

Yeah, we’ll be out soon. I shot back, aware that they could probably hear Gem cry with their mods.

I reached over, knocking the showerhead away from us and turned it on again so that it would drown out our voices.

I wanted so badly to tell Gem that it wasn’t her fault or to reassure her but I knew she just needed to cry.

“I should have protected her. You know that’s my job. What good am I if I can’t protect my crew?” Her voice was hushed and thick with tears.

“I know, Gem, but this wasn’t your fault. They gassed us. We couldn’t have done anything about it.”

“But I could’ve! I could have fought it or made myself stay awake or something!” She argued between sobs.

“You couldn’t have. There was nothing any of us could have done.”

“I just… I just feel like I failed her. Like, I failed all of you.”

I pulled back and looked hard into her eyes.

“You have never once failed us and you know it. You’re the best gunner and protector we could ever ask for.”

She refused to meet my eyes so I shook her shoulders slightly.

“Really, Gem! You’re wonderful! And Peggy thought so too.”

She sighed heavily.

“I just… I need her to still be alive, you know?”

I smiled sadly at her.

“Me too. I feel like we’d of heard something if she wasn’t, you know?”

I wasn’t sure if that was true but I was clinging to it.

Gem nodded and took a deep, shuddering breath.

“You okay?” I asked.

She nodded, her eyes still teary but she seemed more in control.

“It’s just hard here. Every time we walk past someone, they say something and it just reminds me of everything that happened. And like, the other day at dinner some kid came running up to us and thanked us for our sacrifice. Like, what were we meant to say to that? We didn’t do it on purpose, not really!”

I smiled at her, dropping my arms and grabbing the jumpsuit Gem had brought in.

“I just said ‘you’re welcome’! What else could I say?” A cross between a laugh and a sob erupted from her mouth.

I laughed too.

“I honestly don’t know!”

She smiled and wiped her face with her sleeve.

“Thank you.”

I smiled back at her.

“Any time. Shall we go see the war rooms then?”