"No?" Ken seemed taken aback by the response, as if he'd expected differently.

Laurence bobbed his chin to indicate his limp arms. "I'm a wizard who can't cast, and a scholar who can't write. We've just lost--" his voice choked off and he had to take a breath to calm himself. "We're in no condition to go charging off to clear a dungeon."

Ken waved a hand. "I don't mean right this second! Of course you can rest, and grieve, and go find your other friends. I'm impressed you're walking already, you took quite a beating."

Laurence wasn't in the mood for cheerful chitchat. Ken's attitude was far too flippant for his liking. Sure, you had to be a bit mad to survive living inside a dungeon for months on end without seeing another human, but it still grated on him.

"Be sure you stay where you can retreat safely if something pops up," Ken warned. "If I'm on the upper floors I won't be close enough to rescue you again, and my revive skills are all on cooldown."

"Revive?" Despite himself, despite everything, Laurence's thirst for knowledge was too strong to be suppressed. He instinctively tried to go for his notebook and pen.

His hand didn't so much as twitch.

He wanted to scream in frustration, but closed his eyes and focused on the system instead. He could still take notes, just not physical ones. It took a bit of mental wrangling. Without his notebooks he couldn't remember the exact procedure to make the new document fully blank, so it was half filled with indecipherable gibberish already: text in no language he could recognize, overlapping images like a photoshop collage gone terribly wrong, and that one section at the edge that constantly shifted as though deliberately trying to give him a headache. But it was better than nothing.

"I can only use it once every twelve hours. Otherwise I'd have gotten you all out."

Hope sparked at once. "Can you revive the others once--"

But Ken was already shaking his head. "I've spent a long time figuring out the specifics and limitations. As far as I figure, there's two different deads you should know about. Mana-dead, and dead-dead. Mana-dead, you can't use any abilities and your accumulated experience and levels will start to dissipate as if you were a dead dungeon mob. But unlike the dungeon monsters that are made of only mana, you still have a human body with its own life underneath all the system layers.

"Mana-dead is kinda the same as being unAwakened. No protection, nothing but your own body, but humans are nice and resilient on their own. Sure, you're not going to stand back up after being squished like that, but you're not going to expire on the spot either. That gives me a window of opportunity to use Revive. If I'm fast enough, I can even save some of your levels."

Ken gestured to the tag over Laurence's head that he knew read 'Level 6', "But I'd strongly suggest you avoid getting killed at all. I can't promise I'll be able to pull something like this off a second time."

"So you used your only Revive on me? The others...?" Laurence had to force the words out. He didn't want to know... but he needed to know.

"The ranger is fine, he was out of danger the whole time. The idiot climbing the cliff jumped back down to try to save the others, and he got himself squished." That would be Steele. "The big one and the stabby one held out a while with the healer's help, but they got themselves surrounded and I was too late to save stabby. The other one... he tried to hide, so I didn't find him at all until it was too late." Ken shrugged as though it wasn't particularly important to him either way. "Still, four out of seven, not bad!"

"His name is Xander!" Bradley burst out. "Not 'the stabby one'. And he was our friend."

Ken nodded. "Yeah, real shame. We really could have used his help."

Oh, was it 'we' now? Laurence's voice came out harsh. "We haven't agreed to join you. I told you, I'm not interested."

Ken scoffed. "What else are you going to do? Sure, you may be all sad and stuff now, like I said, take your time, rest and recover. But I know you. I can see it in your eyes. You came here knowing it was too much for you to conquer, and you stepped inside anyway. You may not have fully accepted it yet, but you belong here just as much as I do. And when you're ready, we'll show this dungeon who's the real boss."

Laurence only shook his head. He didn't want to show anyone who was boss. He wanted to go home and curl up in his own bed and forget any of this had happened. To run away from this responsibility he'd so stupidly taken on, to make it all stop.

But... beyond the soul-deep exhaustion he felt right now, two tiny embers still burned deep within him. He wanted to keep learning magic, start his own wizard academy, and change the world. And he wanted to become strong enough that he didn't have to run from responsibility, that the next Charles or Steele he could do something about before they got anyone else hurt. That he wouldn't have to live with standing by and doing nothing. Again.

"Just keep it in mind. I'll stop by to check on you in a bit." Ken winked before running off to challenge the next stupidly-overpowered monsters, and Laurence knew this wasn't over.

Bradley helped Laurence back to the safety of the treasure room, then stood awkwardly for a moment.

"What."

"I'm going with him." Bradley said it in a rush. "He's a better medic than I'll ever be. And he can help me level. I'll find a way to fix this."

Laurence didn't have the strength to care any more. "Do what you want."

Bradley stood a bit straighter, nodded once, and ran off.

For the next unknown number of hours, Laurence spent some time sleeping, some time brooding, some time staring blankly into emptiness as hopelessness drowned him for unknown amounts of time. Every time he started to come up from the hopeless depths, the reality of his losses hit him all over again. His friends. The strangers he'd led to their deaths. His own future and potential.

But between bouts of crippling depression, in the better moments, his mind still lingered on those twin goals.

He didn't know how much time had passed when Bradley came to visit next. He'd actually gained a couple more levels already.

Laurence wasn't surprised the healer preferred the overly cheerful warrior's presence. After all, the way Laurence was feeling lately, he'd only drag everyone around him down with him.

Understanding didn't make it hurt less, but he did understand.

Today, in place of his damaged armor that had been mix-and-match cobbled together from whatever the Doom Raiders could scrounge from the dungeons, Bradley wore a pale robe adorned with complex metalwork across its front, three glowing orange gems socketed into it. Matching pants and dark boots complemented the robe, accompanied by a circlet and a pair of off-white gloves, each with at least one gem.

Apart from the timid way he carried himself, he looked every inch the healer. Could have been straight out of a D&D campaign.

"Laurence? You awake?" Bradley carried a bundle with him, black fabric with the glint of metal.

Laurence considered not answering, but he was quite obviously staring, so he rolled himself to a sitting position instead. "What do you need?"

"Ken finished your new robes. He said you should try them on. They might... help."

Laurence snorted, not daring to let himself hope. "Let's see them, first."

Bradley held it up for Laurence to examine. The robe was deep black with copper tracings across the front, similar to the adornment on Bradley's healer robes, but with a different pattern. Laurence's robe had only two orange gems socketed into it, but it was no less impressive.

Destruction Mage's Robe (Armor, Uncommon)

Abilities: (Uncommon) Destructive Aura, (Uncommon) Corrosive Compounding

Power stone: 2/2

Restricted: Mage

He delved further into each ability, part of his mind demanding information while another part calculated various complex geometries until he hit the right one, the dual focus coming naturally to him now.

Destructive Aura would expand outward from him as long as he fed it mana, causing a lingering corrosive effect to be applied to any creature within its reach, as well as dealing direct damage for the duration of their stay in his aura. It seemed much more suited to a fighter than a mage, but Laurence wasn't going to look a gift robe in the magic powers and complain about it.

Corrosive Compounding was much more interesting. It seemed to be a deflection ability, but it could be twinned with a spell. It would require precise timing, but by compounding a spell with the deflection effect, both abilities would be amplified. Laurence could see already that it would be much more than the sum of its parts, the magic echoing and gaining strength as he cast.

"Beautiful," he whispered, a hint of his old wonder returning.

As humiliating as it was to have someone else have to stuff his unfeeling arms through the robe's wide sleeves, he didn't protest as Bradley patiently helped him dress. And then, as the central piece fell into place across his chest, he felt it. The power stones immediately connected with his own mana, tiny glowing beacons in his mind, ready to be used.

Relief flooded him like the first breath of pure air after nearly drowning. Magic wasn't lost to him after all.

He'd been too focused on his own spells, without thinking of the potential in magical items. Even if he couldn't reclaim use of his arms, he could still study magic. He could still use spells through items like this one.

It was far too early to give up.