《Dog Days in a Leashed World》67. The Class Selection Wheel
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Shin had been there the moment Bex first appeared in Magica, popping in unexpectedly to join Ceril and himself for dinner. He’d witnessed her gaining her very first level, the girl beaming with pride through a mask of mud as she fed the final cabbage to Moots’s pigs. He stood shoulder to shoulder with her as she experienced real combat for the first time, the young woman giving as much of herself as any other native of Shinki Itten as they defended the fortress’s walls. Shin had known Bex for some time now, and he’d come to feel as if he had a connection with the Player.
But did he? Really? How could he ever really know someone who can vanish to another world at a moments’ notice? Someone who can never truly die? Someone who the world itself invites to treat Magica like a plaything?
Those were Glandem’s words, not Shin’s thoughts. And he knew that. But that didn’t mean the other Schemer had been wrong. Ugh, so frustratingly insidious; Shin used to think that a crafty rival would be an interesting challenge, but now? Now he knew better. Once the Oaken Elf King had been dealt with, Shin prayed it would be nothing but straightforward dum-dums lined up against him for the rest of his days.
Still, he had to find out what Bex had been up to. But what was the best way to glean her leveling strategy without accusing her of anything unsavory? This was going to take a subtle touch, a true display of guile. Only by taking everything he knew about both Bex and Players in general and combining that with his deep bag of social tricks would Shin be able to painstakingly navigate the tightrope of–
“So Bex,” Gero idly remarked. “What’d you do to level up?”
Oh. Right. People just ask each other questions sometimes. Um, yeah.
Bex shrugged, a bit distracted as exchanged cheerful waves with every villager their group passed as they headed towards the shrine. “Oh, you know! This and that!”
“Hmph!” Vargas scoffed in a good-natured affront. “‘This and that’, she says. We did a lot of ‘This’, but I don’t recall us doing any of ‘That’.”
“We also did very little ‘And”,” Blackmire helpfully added. “Despite numerous opportunities for some legit ‘And’ grinding.”
Gero and Shin shared a quick glance, non-vocally confirming that they were both lost in the fog of the Player’s banter before the woman responded. “I don’t know what that means,” Gero confessed flatly, “How annoying.”
“They’re teasing me because I turned down their suggestions for power leveling,” Bex huffed. “Well sorry for not wanting to burn down the troll village fifty times!”
“It would have been so much faster,” Vargas insisted. “And the trolls are bad guys; they eat people and stuff!”
Bex wouldn’t be swayed. “Yeah, well, I’ll absolutely fight the first troll that tries to eat me. Until then, I’m not interested in breaking into their home and starting shit.”
Vargas sighed helplessly, shooting Shin a look. “I was grooming her for the guild raid team, you know. Bex is really good at this stuff.” The swordsman tutted, a touch of playful accusation dripping into his tone as he pointed a finger at the kobold. “But now she refuses to play like three fourths of the damn game. You were clearly a bad influence during her formative levels.”
“Oh gosh,” Shin deadpanned. “I feel just awful.”
“Hm.” Vargas rubbed his chin, glancing down towards his dwarf companion. “Call me crazy, but I think there’s a possibility that he’s being insincere.”
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“Okay, I can do that,” Blackmire obliged. “You’re crazy.”
So Bex was actually abstaining from fighting the denizens of Magica for her Levels? Did this mean Glandem was full of shit, or that Bex was simply the exception that proves the rule? Affable as they might be, her two friends clearly didn’t share her convictions about whether or not a Monster tag made a person fair game for slaughter. Were the experiences she had and friendships she formed in Shinki Itten the sole cause of Bex’s position, or was some other factor involved? Could it even be as simple as the young woman just being more empathetic than the average Player?
Well in this one case, Shin cared less about the reason and more about the result. Bex was still Bex, and Glandem could go jump off a cliff with all his insinuations. Still, this did all beg the question. “So how did you level up, then?”
Bex dipped down to snag a fallen plom blossom as the group turned onto the shrine’s path. “Well, some quests. A bit of gathering. Some, um, PVP.” She toyed with the flower’s rich purple petals, suddenly a touch sheepish. “A lot of PVP, actually. Almost entirely PVP.”
Gero and Shins ears shot up in unison. “So you’re telling us that not only do you not hunt monsters,” Gero began, “But that you do kill other Players?” When the honorary kobold self-consciously nodded, the bigger woman immediately responded by clamping a hand onto her shoulder. “Bex is my favorite now,” Gero swore, leveling a territorial look at Shin. “She is the best and I’m calling dibs.”
“Not a chance,” Shin retorted, dropping his hand down on her other shoulder. “I saw her first, so I have dibs. That’s ancient kobold law, Gero; you’re peeing directly on sacred tradition.”
Gero wasn’t budging. “She’s my favorite; I am bigger than you and I will make you eat dirt.”
“Oh I’ll eat that dirt, Gero,” Shin taunted back, his eyes locked unflinchingly with hers, “But with every mouthful you’ll be sealing your own fate. My revenge won’t taste like dirt, Gero. It will taste sweet.”
“Is this normal?” Vargas hissed to Blackmire. “This is weird.”
“I have no idea,” the dwarf whispered back to the swordsman. “They’re either flirting or they hate each other.”
“Is it bad that we can’t tell?” Vargas mused. “I mean, their tails are wagging, but they’ve got some serious murder-eyes going on.”
“Yeah,” Blackmire agreed. “Honestly I’d be lost even without the dog stuff. I’m worried that all the shoujo I read has left me unable to recognize a normal relationship.”
“Guys, please,” Bex declared, her voice dripping with magnanimity. “This is tearing us apart. For the good of Shinki Itten, I am willing to be both of your favorites.”
Gero rumbled out a thoughtful noise, narrowing an eye as she and Shin held their stare for another moment. Then she straightened, her expression haughty but unable to hide the amusement in her tone. “I will graciously accept.”
“You’ve been back for fifteen minutes and you’ve already saved the city,” Shin marveled. “Welcome back, Bex. I honestly have no idea how we managed to get by without you.”
Bex beamed in pleasure as Gero cleared her throat, clearly eager to hear more about her student’s exploits. “So you leveled through PVP, huh? Were you in a tournament or something?”
“Oh, no,” the girl shook her head, “Nothing like that. Mostly just low level matchmaking and duel postings in the bigger cities. No big deal.”
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“She’s being modest,” Blackmire cut in. “Our Bex has been lousy with duel requests now that she’s famous.”
“Eh?” Gero’s ears perked up. “Bex is famous?”
Vargas raised his eyebrows. “You didn’t know? She’s a meme now.”
Bex immediately turned bright red. “I am not a meme,” she insisted. “I’m not even in those stills.”
Blackmire waved his hand dismissively. “It’s too late for that; enough people know the backstory for you to be Internet famous. Here!” He tapped a finger in mid air, causing a life-sized image of Naotodate’s laughing, boastful face to appear. “This is the before…” He tapped the air again, pasting a second image of the tiger-headed Grappler post head-explosion directly next to the first. “And here’s the after! It’s just so versatile as a template; you can really use it for almost anything.”
Okay. Maybe this was a little grisly? But Shin did not mind it one bit. “What does he think about all of this, I wonder?”
“Dunno,” Bex shrugged. “I actually tried to get in contact with him a while back, but apparently he deleted his account.”
Really? Huh. Shin hadn’t forgotten Naotodate’s declaration that he’d delete his account if he lost to Bex. Was he truly that much a man of his word, or had the humiliation simply been too much to bear? Either way, Operation Ruin These Guys’ Lives had been even more of a resounding success than Shin had originally thought. “Well damn, Bex. It seems like you’ve found your calling.”
The honorary kobold tried and failed to project an air of humility. “I mean, I’m pretty good at it I guess.” She held her breath for a moment, taking another swing at maintaining the dignified poise of a warrior. But it didn’t take long for her excitement to bubble over, excitement surging out of her. “It’s actually crazy how bad most people are at dueling? They just run at each other and mash their Skills as quickly as they can! I have just straight up tripped dudes and smashed them in the head so many times, you guys; you wouldn’t believe how often that works!”
“You’re great at fighting, no question about it,” Vargas agreed, “But I’m still worried it’s going to limit your options for your Class Selection.”
Shin was not going to miss this opportunity. “How does that work exactly, anyway?”
“Hm? Oh.” Vargas cleared his throat. “Well, I mean, it’s pretty simple? The System offers you Classes based on your experiences in Magica. You can pretty much always get a basic Class, if that’s your goal. Like, I knew I just wanted to be a swordsman, so I just snagged the Knight class at level Five.”
“And on the other hand, I had a really specific idea of what I wanted to do,” Blackmire interjected, “So I didn’t take my Class Selection until I’d already gotten accepted by the Deepmountain Sulfur Company and maxed out my Ranged proficiency. That way I was able to qualify for the Artillerist Class.”
Oh, so what Shin had originally thought was some sort of halberd was in fact a firearm? Fascinating. Gero, for her part, didn’t seem entirely impressed. “Does ‘I want to shoot people’ really count as a ‘specific idea’?”
The dwarf immediately shook his head. “Oh no, my concept is way more specific than that. I’m still working on the prototype, but I’m hoping once it’s finished it’ll knock me out of the soft cap and I can really get to work.”
“Prototype?” Shin tilted his head. “Of what, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Blackmire lept on Shin’s question so vigorously that the kobold almost missed Vargas’s sigh. “Oh man, it’s so great? So okay, have you ever been to a basketball game?” The dwarf waved off Shin’s response before the Schemer could even attempt one. “No, of course you haven’t. Anyway, here’s the plan: I want to shoot people with a weaponized t-shirt cannon.”
Shin slowly began to flatten his ears. “What’s that?”
“It’s a cannon,” –The dwarf waggled his fingers before himself, his eyes sparkling in delight– “That fires t-shirts. All the way through people.”
Shin glanced towards Vargas for some help, only to find that none would be forthcoming. “Is it…possible to do that with a shirt?”
Blackmire pounded his fist resolutely into his palm. “I refuse to believe that it isn’t.”
Vargas sighed, clearly having heard this entire spiel multiple times before. “Go ahead and tell them what it says on the shirts.”
The dwarf spread his hands out wide, as if he could see it there before him. “‘I Was Totally Obliterated And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt’.”
Bex piped up. “I still say ‘I Got This T-Shirt And All I Got Was Massive Bodily Trauma’ works better.”
“I’m willing to workshop it, no question.” Blackmire frowned, his tone turning thoughtful. “The real trick is finding a way to make it so they’re wearing the shirt when they respawn. I think I might have to dip into some sort of mystical–”
“So yeah anyway,” Vargas pushed forward, “If you’re willing to work at it, you can actually have a lot of influence on the Classes you’re offered. And Bex really worked hard; almost no one has the talent and patience to wait until they hit the soft cap for their Selection. I’m just worried the only special options she’s going to get now will be PVP classes.”
Now it was Gero’s turn to tilt her head. “Well, what’s wrong with that?”
Vargas frowned. “In theory? Nothing, if that’s what you want to do. But the problem is that tournaments and officially sanctioned dueling separates PVP and Non-PVP classes into their own brackets for the sake of balance, and like nine out of ten Players with PVP classes are Red Players. So they can’t do official stuff anyway. So the way KoM’s culture has shaped out, you actually have way fewer PVP options as a PVP class.”
Bex’s ears flexed with resolve. “I don’t care about that stuff. If I get offered a good PVP Class, I’m gonna take it and do PKK or whatever.” The young woman noticed Gero’s tilt dipping a little further. “Oh. Player Killer Killer. I’ll just go fight Red Players and stuff.”
Okay, Shin hadn’t thought it was possible? But he liked Bex even more now. Maybe he was going to have to fight Gero to the death over who got her as their exclusive favorite after all.
Fortunately, a delighted cry from the end of the path countermanded any further flarings of friendship warfare. “Bex!”
Bex immediately called back, her tail wagging madly. “Momo~!”
Both women burst into fits of laughter as the High Priestess threw herself into Bex’s arms, twirling around in a wild display of joy at seeing one another again. “You’re back!” Momo trilled, her grin all but bursting off from her face. “Are you back to stay? What have you been up to! Tell me everything!”
“Haha, I will; I will!” Bex insisted. “Omigosh it’s so good to see you!”
“Um, yeah it is,” Vargas whispered to Blackmire, a flush tingeing his cheeks as he stared at Momo. “Do you think there’s any chance she’s a Destined Heart?”
“Oh my God we all have Enhanced Hearing,” Bex exclaimed, glaring at her mortified friend. “Don’t be a creep before I’ve even introduced you.”
“Shit, um, sorry,” the swordsman stumbled, his face beet red as he awkwardly bowed in shame to a particularly amused-looking Momo. “I apologize. You’re, um, very attractive.”
“Yes,” Momo replied in a regal tone, “I am.” She separated from Bex, folding her hands imperiously into her sleeves. “So it’s time for your Class Selection, yes? Did you want Tasan Okaa’s blessing?”
Bex nodded. “Yes please!”
“Hm.” The Priestess pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Though you know, I’m sure you could ask Her for one yourself?”
“I know I could, but it just felt right coming here to do it, you know?” Bex closed her eyes, a smile spreading across her face as she inhaled deeply. “Plom blossoms, temple incense, and being surrounded by family. That’s Tasan Okaa.”
Momo smiled serenely. “For me, too.” A bit of her grandeur slipped away as she let out an excited giggle. “Your timing is actually super great?! I just finished spending Tasan Okaa’s Divinity Points and I’m desperate to see her do some godly flexing.”
“Me, too!” Mimasu gasped, completely doubled over as he struggled from breath. “I’m super excited!”
Gero leapt back in surprise at the scribe’s abrupt appearance. “Where the hell did you come from?!”
“Heard you were doing a Class Selection!” Mimi choked out. “Ran! All the way from the,” –He briefly heaved, then apparently decided he did not need to throw up– “Main tower!” He shakily lifted his scroll, his quill wobbling perilously between his nearly slack fingers. “M’ready! Go ahead!”
Shin sniffed carefully before nodding in agreement. “Yes, please do. I think we’re all eager to see this.”
Momo nodded, closing her eyes as she lifted her hands out towards Bex. The gentle breeze took that moment to pick up, the chimes adorning the shrine singing their serene song as the scent of plom blossom and agarwood swirled through the air. Momo was murmuring something, too faint for even Enhanced Senses to pick up, but Shin wasn’t focused on that. He was too distracted by the presence that materialized above them.
It, or rather She, felt so much like Tasan Okaa. But somehow, Shin knew: That was not Tasan Okaa.
Bex gulped as the luminous figure, slender and feminine but with features otherwise obscured in a soft haze of soothing opalescence, reached down to lightly slip an elegant finger beneath the young woman’s chin. She lightly tilted Bex’s face, slowly descending towards her, and then brushed against the trembling girl’s cheek in what was unmistakably a kiss.
And then She was gone.
The entire group let out a breath as one, with the exception of an inordinately pleased-looking Momo. “What was that?” Bex gasped. “Who was that?!”
“That,” Momo proudly proclaimed, “Was Rippana Choujo, the Admirable Eldest Daughter. Tasan Okaa’s Avatar.”
“Your Goddess has an Avatar?” Vargas sputtered, his eyes wide. “For a side of this size?! That’s, like, unheard of!”
“What can I say?” Momo smugly brushed a plom blossom off of her robe. “We’re pretty great.”
“Alright well thanks a lot Momo; now I’ve got a crush on a freaking Kingdoms of Magica deity,” Bex grumbled, pulling up a prompt. “I’m starting the Selection; let’s go~!”
The honorary kobold selected an option decisively, Vargas and Blackmire oohing and ahhing appreciation as an ornate wheel made entirely of illuminated text appeared above Bex’s head. The Class Wheel began to spin, all three Players cheering when a gilded star appeared at its center. “That’s one…” Vargas urged, pumping his fist as a second star popped up beside the first. “And two! That’s a Rare Class!”
“Oh shit three stars!” Blackmire gasped as a third one appeared. “Epic Class!”
Bex wasn’t listening to her friends’ encouragement, her eyes locked onto the spinning Wheel as she writhed in anticipation. On and on it spun, and just when Shin suspected it was about to slow down a fourth star appeared at its center. “Legendary Class!” Bex screamed. “Yes!”
Both Blackmire and Vargas erupted in glee, happily chanting along with Bex as she bounced up and down in sheer bliss. “Le-Gen-Dary! Le-Gen-Dary Le-Gen-”
And then a fifth star squeezed its way into the crowded center of the Wheel, and it screeched to a halt.
Bex could only stare mouth agape as the Class Wheel began to slowly unfold, revealing her Class options one at a time. “Wait, Five Stars?!” She whirled around on Vargas, her eyes bordering on manic. “I’ve never heard of that. That’s a thing?”
Vargas slowly nodded. “Um, yeah. It’s a thing. It’s one specific thing,”
“What does that mean?!” Bex turned her eyes back to the unraveling Class Wheel, impatiently urging it to reveal its secrets at a less leisurely pace. The Rare, Epic and Legendary options fanned out unread and unremarked upon, Bex’s straining eyes reserved solely for the final option as it grandly revealed itself.
“It’s…” Bex squinted, rereading the text. “What’s an EidolRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
“Uh?!” Bex flinched, eyes blinking wildly as she momentarily forgot about her Class Selection. “Did something just happen?”
Shin had…no fucking idea. But he was suddenly out of breath, and had somehow broken into a cold sweat since two seconds ago. The Schemer was gripped by a desperate urge to focus, to remember, but even as something clawing madly inside his chest demanded that he pay attention he could feel the embers of whatever happening snuffing out within his brain. Whatever had happened? It was gone.
“I’ll tell you what just happened,” Vargas intoned, pointing at the Class Selection floating above Bex’s head. “Check it out.”
“Um, okay.” Bex glanced back up at the elaborate text, chewing distractedly on her lower lip. “Exemplar? Didn’t it use to say something–”
Mimasu let out an interrupting gasp. “Oh gosh! You’re an Exemplar?! Quick, open up your Status Screen!”
“Uh! Okay?!” The girl quickly did as she was bidden. “Now what?!”
The scribe wriggled with excitement. “Do you have a Blessing Section?!”
Bex blinked. “Oh! Yeah, I do; it’s right after my Description? ‘Beloved of the All-Mother’?”
Blackmire whistled, pulling his goggles from his head to run his hand along his bald crown. “What the shit. A Great God Exemplar. Unbelievable.”
“Is this good?” Bex demanded. “Because that sounds good!”
“Let me put it this way.” Vargas held up three fingers. “There have been three Great God Exemplars in the ten years since Kingdoms of Magica began. One was a Make-a-Wish kid who died, like, immediately. The other two are both the personal characters of fucking Dev Team Leads. You managed to hit a Staff Only Class.” The man suddenly laughed, as if the sheer improbability of it all was forcing its way out of him. “Well this settles it though; you have to join our guild now.”
“That’s right!” Blackmire insisted. “Because if you don't, those Gladius pricks will send you so many thirsty guild invites that you’ll drown in them!”
Bex grinned at that, exhaustion now clear across her features. “Haha, okay? Well first I’m gonna pour over my new Status Screen, and then,” –She broke into a deep yawn– “Um, then I’m gonna nap. I might nap first.”
Shin was desperate to see that Status Screen. “You can use my quarters. You can have my quarters, if you’ll let me–”
“Shin, Shin!”
Aw hell what now. The Schemer turned in supreme ill-humor, glaring at the villager dashing down the shrine path. Who dared to try and distract him from something so fascinating? “What! What is it!”
“It’s urgent!” The villager insisted, motioning for Shin to follow even as he turned back towards the city. “You’re being asked for, only you!”
Only…oh, wait. Oh shit, was something happening? Was whatever Glandem had done happening? Fascinating could wait. In all likelihood, this could not.
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Shin slowly took another sniff of his tea before using every ounce of willpower he possessed to carefully place it back down on the table instead of smashing it into the face of the man seated across from him. “One more time,” Shin stated, lacing his fingers together. “Tell me one more time what you’re asking for.”
The Player nodded solemnly, looking for all the world like the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders. “I need you to teach me how to mine for fish.”
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