《I See You》chapter 13: protect our pack
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Twenty minutes later we arrived at this small ice cream shop run by an older couple called Double Scoop. We used to come here all the time when we were kids. After Riker's soccer, or Isaac's baseball. Or the million and one sports Greyson played as a kid. Which was pretty much all of them. All six of us would pile into dad's car and we'd spend at least two hours here. Our time filled with laughter and endless conversation. It's been a while since we've been here though. Longer than any of us would like to admit.
When it came to me, dad and I would always sneak away on late summer nights to get ice cream together. Since I was never much of a sports kid, having given up dance when I was eight and realized I had no rhythm or quit swimming lessons when I learned enough to not drown. My ice cream nights never came, and that was okay because I'd take the summer nights with dad over them any day.
"Who's ass do I need to kick?" Greyson asks when we walk into the shop, his arms open for me to walk into.
"No ones," I roll my eyes but take the hug, appreciating how tightly he wraps his arms around me.
"I don't believe that for a second."
"Yeah, well you're not going to kick Felix's ass," I laugh and scoot in next to Riker in the small booth, sitting across from Greyson who sits next to Isaac.
"What happened?" He asks.
"It's not important," I shake my head, exhaling softly as I rest my head against Riker's shoulder.
"Not important my ass," Riker argues, clearly the angriest about the situation. "Felix and his asshole friends were talking about getting into Stevie's pants like she's some kind of object."
"It's a misunderstanding," I tell them.
"Don't do that," Isaac frowns. "Don't try and justify what he said, Stevie. He never should have said it and it's not your fault he's a pig."
My lips curl up slightly as I nod my head.
"I'm going to kick his ass," Greyson growls and I know nothing I say will stop him from doing something. Weather that's punching him in the face or yelling at him.
"Greyson," I frown.
"No one should ever talk about you like that, Vee. No one should ever talk about anyone like that," he tells me and I know it's because they're protective. They hate seeing me hurt, just as much as I hate seeing them hurt. It runs in our veins. The need to protect our pack.
"I know," I swallow, looking at each of them before landing on Greyson. "I do, and trust me he knows that now. Just don't make his into something bigger, alright? I already get too much attention and I don't need anymore."
"Okay, fine," he sighs. "I won't make a scene, but the next time I see him I have every right to say something or punch him in the face."
I roll my eyes. "I don't think he'll be around anytime in the near future. Can we talk about something else now? Like, Ike, how are things with Mika?"
"Good," Isaac nods, his face lighting up at the subject change. "Really good. We're hanging out tonight actually."
"Nice," Riker grins. "I'm glad this is finally happening for you, man."
"Thanks, Rik," he smiles gently, before eyeing Greyson and me. "Can we get ice cream now?"
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"Yes, please!" I nod eagerly, in dire need of something sweet to replace the bitter taste in my mouth from my encounter with Felix.
I wanted so badly for him to be the person I made him out to be in my head, that I got my hopes up and let down when he proved to be someone else. A small part of me knows I did this to myself. I didn't make him or his friends say the things they did, but I opened myself up to be vulnerable in front of him. I showed my cracks and left them open to be weakened.
"Where's your head at?" Greyson asks after a while. The four of us having gotten our favorites and have been sitting in the booth for the last thirty minutes fighting the war that is brain freeze.
"I don't really know," I swallow. "It's probably dumb."
"It's probably not," Isaac argues and nudges my leg with his foot. "What's up?"
"What if Felix really was just being stupid?" I ask, holding my breath knowing full well they'll argue with me but they don't. Instead, the three of them stay silent studying my face waiting for me to continue. "I mean, I'm not saying I'd let him off the hook for being an asshole but...what if it really was just something he said to get his friends off his back? I didn't exactly give him a chance to explain himself."
"You don't need to make excuses for him, Vee," Greyson tells me and I know he's right.
Felix doesn't need me making excuses for him, and I'm not. What he said was really stupid and I won't forget how he so quickly tried to cover his ass instead of defending mine, but I have witnessed how stupid boys can be when they're flustered or in need of getting people off their back. I have three brothers who have shown me just how dumb they can be when they think no one is looking.
"I'm not trying to make excuses...I'm just saying, people say things they don't mean when they think it's their only option," I explain and exhale softly.
"It wasn't his only option," Riker argues. "He could have done the right thing and told them to shut up."
"People do stupid things..." I frown, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I mean, look at mom and dad. They're being stupid and saying things they don't mean because they don't know how to get back to how things were. Do you really think they mean anything they're saying?"
"Vee, the divorce is happening," Greyson sighs. "I know we think they're just fighting but...do you really think they'd let it get this far if they didn't want it? The lawyer was over this morning. It's happening."
I shake my head, not believing him. "No, you're wrong. They love each other."
"They can love each other and still...need to be apart," he frowns. "I don't want it to be true either, guys. Trust me. I hate this as much as you do but I think we need to cut our losses and stop fighting them. They're getting a divorce and that's okay. It's about time we start supporting them through this."
"No," I tell him and look at the twins with pleading eyes, hoping they'll back me up but neither of them will meet my eyes as they calculate their own thoughts. "Isaac?"
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"I don't know..." he frowns. "They were distant long before they separated."
"What?" I ask with my lips curling down as I turn to Riker. "Riker?"
"I don't want it to be true either, Vee," he looks at me and sighs, "But I think Greyson may be right. It doesn't feel right but...maybe this is what they need. Maybe they just weren't meant to last forever."
"I can't believe you're actually saying this right now," I frown. "You guys, it's mom and dad! They are two of the most in love people I've ever seen and yeah, maybe they got lost a little along the way but that doesn't mean they can't fix it. That doesn't mean they need to break up our family."
"Our family isn't broken, Stevie," Greyson argues.
It suddenly feels like I'm the only one fighting the war and I'm slowly losing it. I've never felt this alone in my life, like everyone and everything is against me and if no one is willing to fight for this family than maybe I shouldn't either. Maybe I should let it go and stop wasting my energy if no one wants to do the same with me.
"You're unbelievable," I shake my head and get up, leaving my half eaten ice cream on the table.
"Vee, where are you going?" Riker frowns.
"I'm leaving."
"It's raining outside," Isaac sighs.
"I don't really care," I tell them and head for the doors, not caring that the sky has opened up and is pouring out it's sorrow.
It's fitting to the situation and the way I'm feeling, like I could collapse at any given moment. My whole world feels like it's falling apart and there is no one around willing to fight with me. With no support, I don't think I can hold up the weight of five people who are giving up on the only thing that is supposed to be forever. If we aren't a family, it'll be like we're a bunch of strangers living under one roof.
My chest feels tight as I walk toward the sidewalk, not really sure where I'm heading but I know I need to get away from them. For most of my life, if I got in a fight with our parents or with my friends I knew I always had my brothers to turn to. I always had them and now it feels like they're giving up on me. I know it's not true and they're just tired of fighting it, but it doesn't change how my heart hurts. A feeling of betrayal lingering over me, because if I don't have them then who do I have?
"Stevie!" Greyson yells and I turn my head to see him slowing down on the road next to me as I walk, his passenger side window rolled down. "Get in the car. You're going to get pneumonia."
"Leave me alone, Greyson," I tell him, not wanting to be anywhere near him or the twins.
"Stop acting like a child and get in the car," he growls and this time I ignore him, not caring that my clothes are soaking wet or that a chill is running up my spine. "Stevie, I swear to God," he yells and I turn my head to see him coming to a stop on the side of the road before climbing out of the car.
Even with him getting out of the car and knowing he'll catch up eventually, I keep walking hoping he'll give up and get I don't want to talk to him but it's Greyson and he doesn't give up. Not when it comes to me at least and he eventually gets in front of me, blocking my path and forcing me to stay put.
"Look, I get it, Vee," he sighs. "You don't want mom and dad to get a divorce. I don't either, but at least I realize this is happening and it's going to happen weather I like it or not, so you need to grow up and stop acting like a goddamn child."
"You don't get it."
"What is there to get?"
"I'm stuck here!" I yell, furious with the fact that none of them seem to get why I am fighting so hard for our parents. "You're going to figure out what you want, Greyson and you're going to leave to God knows where. Riker is going to be five hours away in Stanford and Isaac is going to be halfway across the country in New York for art school. You're all going to be gone, so maybe this isn't as big a deal for you because you won't be around to see it but I am and you're right, I'm a child. I'm only sixteen, but that doesn't mean I don't understand what is happening here. I get it, okay? I get that they fight but I know they're meant to be together."
"Stevie..."
"No, you don't get to argue with me," I shake my head, tears in my eyes. "I get that you don't want to fight anymore, Greyson but I need to. I need them to be together because I can't handle being alone and that's what's going to happen if they get divorced. You guys will be gone, dad will be gone and mom will drown herself in work to avoid thinking about it and I'm going to be left in that big house all by myself."
A sigh falls from his lips and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly to his chest. "You aren't going to be alone, Vee. You still have us. No matter where we are in the world. You have us."
"It doesn't feel that way," I whimper. "I don't want to be alone, Grey."
"I know," he mumbles. "I'm sorry we weren't thinking about how much more this affects you."
"I don't want them to be divorced," I tell him quietly, pressing my cheek to the wet fabric of his tee shirt. "They're supposed to be together. I can feel it in my bones."
"Yeah, I know," he sighs quietly. "We'll figure something out, okay? Got to protect the pack."
A laugh falls from my lips. "Can we go home now? I'm cold."
"Yeah, come on," he nods, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "Let's get you home."
Climbing into the passenger seat of Greyson's Jeep, I sit quietly while he drives us home. My eyes heavy with exhaustion as I lean into the seat, closing my eyes as I let the car sway me to sleep. After how exhausting the day has been, it feels good to let my mind rest even if it's only for the half hour the drive home takes. When we get home, I'm almost too tired to get out of the car but manage to pick myself up and make my way into the house.
Swallowing when I get inside, I grab the strap to my backpack sitting against the wall in the foyer and head upstairs knowing I have to explain myself to Riker and Isaac. I tuck a few pieces of my damp hair behind my ears and make my way towards my bedroom door, coming to a stop outside the master bedroom. Before I do anything, I need to apologize to my mom for snapping at her.
She didn't deserve it.
I was upset because I didn't like what was happening around me and I took it out on her. A part of me knows I need to come to accept the things I can't change, but the other part is willing to die trying and I know I won't stop trying to heal my family until we're back together.
"Mom?" I ask after knocking on the wooden door to her room.
"Come in!" She says and steps out of her closet in a pair of leggings and an oversize shirt, her eyes widening when she spots me soaked. "Stevie, you're wet! What happened?"
I shake my head and walk towards her, not caring that I'll get her wet. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she rests her hand on my back. "Will you tell me what happened now?"
"It's just been a long day," I sigh. "Mom?"
"What is it?"
"I'm scared of being alone."
"Alone? Stevie, why would you be alone?" She frowns and pulls me over to the bench in front of her bed, pulling me down to sit in front of her.
"When you and dad get a divorce," I frown. "And don't say I won't be, because I will. Dad will be gone, Greyson will get his life together and leave, the twins will be off living their life and you'll throw yourself into work."
A sigh falls from her lips. "Baby, I'm sorry. It's not going to be like that though. Your dad will still be around and your brothers, they'll come visit."
I shake my head. "Do you even want the divorce?"
"Stevie..."
"Nine months, mom," I plead. "Give it to the end of the school year. Do something! Try anything to save your marriage, weather that's counselling or whatever...just don't do it now, please."
"Stevie..." She says my name again, begging me to stop talking.
"Just nine more months and if you decide it's what you want still," I sigh and take a deep breath, hoping my plea will be enough to get her to work it out. "If nine months go by and you decide you can't do it, then I'll stop fighting it. You've done twenty-five years. What's nine more months?"
"Nine more months?" She asks.
I bob my head with a hopeful look in my eyes.
"Okay, baby," she nods. "We'll try for nine more months."
"Thank you!" I cry out and wrap my arms around her shoulders. "Thank you, mom! Thank you, thank you."
a/n;
This is probably one of my favourite chapters. I love the bond Stevie has with her brothers and how they all of the need to protect each other.
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