《Smash Gal & Esvanir》Issue 35: So, You’d Do It for Twenty Dollars in Singles?

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=== Curt ===

After my interview with Thrawn was over, I joined Cherry. She had been off collecting some of the stuff that I had needed to enact a defense. Part three of my plan was now fully underway. I was going to eliminate several weaknesses in my abilities. I had to. Time and time again, Smash Gal had proven herself too big of a threat not to. And I had just publicly called out Bion in a more direct way than ever before. The work was hard. I had to find a way to overcome Smash Gal’s frankly ridiculous speeds. According to all of the data I could find on her, she could fly at above twenty-five hundred meters per second. Far faster than my reaction time. And she was finally utilizing it properly. The way she had fought at the wedding and even in Des’ office screamed that she had done some training. With that said, there are a few weapons that are faster than that.

“So, what is all of this stuff?” Cindi asked, sitting across from me.

“These are powerful electromagnets,” I said simply, as I started constructing their housing.

“And these magnets are going to be the weapon that can take down Smash Gal.”

“Part of it. And maybe. I don’t know if it’s possible to take her down. At this point, she’s stronger than the Grignau. Anything I’m doing is just a stop-gap. Basically, something to distract her so that we can escape.”

“You said at the wedding she’s allergic to cherries. Why don’t you just use that?”

“How do you even remember that? You were unconscious.”

“You were still streaming at that point.”

“Oh. Right. Forgot about that. This is a backup. I might be able to teleport a jar of cherries into her, but she’s better at responding now. With this, I might be able to launch a volley of cherries at her. Or maybe just a regular projectile to pierce through her.”

“What can do that? What is faster than her?” Cin asked incredulously. She grabbed a few pieces I was struggling with, with my hand still being in a cast, and fit them together easily.

“A railgun. It requires a fuck ton of power, but I think I can build one that fires faster than she reacts. And we know that there are things strong enough to pierce her flesh. We’ve seen it before.”

“Why don’t you just focus on getting better at leading her into traps.”

“She’s gotten wise to that tactic. Everything I’ve been doing against her has been evasion. And that’s the problem. We’re always on the defensive. With her newfound ability to actually pay attention to her surroundings, I’ll be hard-pressed to get her to fall for the same trick I had previously.”

“Okay,” Cindi said doubtfully. “What about the rest of this stuff?”

“Well, that over there is going to be a device that hopefully prevents signal jammers from preventing us from doing our work.,” I gestured to a pile of unassembled pieces.

“And how is going to do that?”

“Basically, I’m going to force a portal from somewhere with signal to be opened in that device, thus delivering us a GPS signal wherever we are.”

“Wouldn’t that just put the signal on the other side of the portal? And doesn’t that require a lot of energy? When we teleported that statue from Marcelli’s place, your rig went down for thirty seconds. Won’t this cause the same issue?”

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“Those are . . . Damn it!” I let my head fall to the desk. “I hadn’t thought of the signal being registered on the other side of the planet. But . . . what I could do is install a device to send a signal from this device to another to register it and then we’re back in business. It’s slightly more work, but nothing that can’t be overcome.”

“And the power issue?”

“I’m working on that. Bion’s designs are actually more energy-efficient than mine in a lot of ways and I’m trying to cut down on the amount required.”

“How much does it require?”

“Normally? Somewhere in the ballpark of the eastern seaboard’s consumption for a day to open a portal for maybe ten seconds.”

“What!? That much?”

“Yeah. We’re literally folding space-time, Cin. Think about it.”

“Where do you even get that much power?”

“There’s a lot of ambient radiation on the planet and I steal a lot of it from the same generators that Wan En and EnGin use to power the portal to the Grignau planet.”

“So, they keep it running constantly?”

“I imagine it’s just easier for them to do it that way instead of turning it off and turning it back on. Easier to keep something moving on their part than it is to start it moving again.”

“How the hell do you even collect the energy?”

“Basically, in the same way that those wireless phone chargers work,” I responded.

“Okay. That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Do you actually want me to explain it?”

“No, but I do have another question?”

“Mm?”

“What happens if they just shut it off? What will you do then?”

“Be stranded for a while I imagine.”

“And if that happens during a fight with Bion or Smash Gal?”

“Die, probably,” I said simply.

“So, you’re still willing to die for this,” Cindi said coldly. I put down my little project and met her eye.

“Cin, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave you and Des behind. You guys just aren’t realistic about what we’re up against.”

“You don’t think I know, Curt? She’s almost killed me twice.”

“And she wasn’t trying to.”

“I know, Curt! I know. But I hate this blasé attitude you have about you dying.” She walked through the table between us, leaving what she was wearing behind. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. “I want us to have a long and happy life together, Curt. And you’re throwing in the towel.”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” I replied bitterly.

“Because I’m forcing you to be. You were ready to die in a blaze of glory just a day ago.”

“Dying is better than watching you or Des get hurt. I . . . I can’t take that anymore, Cin. I’m just not strong enough!” She pulled my head into her chest and stroked my hair.

“And you think we can take you dying any better, Curt? I have watched this woman break you. Physically and mentally and it breaks my heart every time. Des’ too. Seeing you come back bleeding and broken is the worst thing she’s ever done. And that includes wearing hot pink everywhere.”

“I’m not giving up anymore, Cin. I’m here for the fight.”

“Why?” She asked, pulling my chin up to look at her.

“Because someone has to stand up to her. We can’t just let her do whatever she wants anymore. Or Bion.”

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“Why does it have to be you?” She asked. “We could just run, Curt. We don’t have to do this.”

“I’ve thought about it,” I said, sighing into her chest. I pulled her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her. “But it won’t work, Cher.”

“Why not!?” She demanded, her voice cracking. I pulled her closer.

“She won’t stop, Cin. She’s decided we need to go down. And she’s the most stubborn person on this or any other planet. This isn’t going to stop without a fight.”

=== Kari ===

Chuck and I left the city. We actually drove. And it had been so long since I had actually just driven anywhere. Well, Chuck was driving. I didn’t have my license. My parents hadn’t wanted to give me another way to get out of the lab. Though, at least with that, there was a chance they could have caught up to me. Chuck drives like an old lady, by the way. He’s very careful and goes the exact speed limit wherever he goes. He also has this tiny, cute, powder blue car. But it was incredibly slow. I’m used to flying at a minimum of a few hundred miles an hour and now we were going sixty on some highway.

“Why can’t we just fly somewhere?” I asked for what was probably the eightieth time.

“Because we’re supposed to not be doing super-heroics. We’re taking a break. No villains, no other planets, nothing. Just take things slow.”

“Take things slow? We’re going away for a weekend vacation as our first date.” I watched a blush creep up his neck and crawl over his face. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“We already know that we get along well enough. And the room has two beds,” he said defensively.

“Two beds, huh?” I teased. “Well, we’ll have to try and use them both.”

He glanced over at me incredulously. “Now who’s moving too fast?”

“Been spending too much time around Jenny. Almost copped a feel.”

“That’s bound to happen around Jenny. She’ll get you to touch her somehow.”

“Oh? And how have you touched her?”

“Had to drag her from her chair once. Her rocket exploded and she was trapped. Her clothes had burnt off some and she still hasn’t let the fact that I’ve seen her naked and she hasn’t seen me go.”

“You gotta see her naked? Lucky! I just saw her panties,” I replied, grinning at him. He looked at me and then rolled his eyes. Eventually, we pulled into a tiny parking lot to a bed and breakfast. It was a cute little colonial home with well-kept plants growing just under the windows. We stepped out of the car and I stretched my legs, floating up a couple inches as I did so. Chuck grabbed my arm and pulled me down to the ground.

“Kari! Not here. We’re supposed to be normal people. Normal people can’t fly.”

“That sounds awful,” I said, yawning. I took the hand he had grabbed me with into my own and pulled him into the building. The elderly woman greeted us from behind the little counter she had installed. I watched her eyes crawl over our hands and something she noticed caused her to frown for a second. But her smile returned as she spoke.

“Good afternoon, dears. Do you have a reservation?”

“Yes, under Berry,” Chuck said, easily.

“Chuck Berry?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s my last name.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“Doesn’t that make you Doctor Berry? Sounds like a brand-store soda.”

“Ah, Mister. . . . Doctor Berry,” the woman corrected herself. “The room with two beds. Good. I’m glad to hear that you’re not living in sin.”

“Depends on how the weekend goes,” I responded with a grin, looking over at him. I caught the woman’s grimace out of the corner of my eye but ignored it. Chuck was blushing, which means that I had accomplished my goal.

“O-of course,” the woman said, handing us the key. “Breakfast is served at seven-thirty.”

“What about dinner?”

“You are welcome to eat here,” the woman said with a tone that implied otherwise. “But there are also a few diners around here as well. It’s such a beautiful, little town. Don’t let yourselves be trapped inside all weekend.”

“That’s a great point,” Chuck said with a grin. His blush had faded again. I’d have to think of something else to keep it up. We drove out and I took out my phone. I checked for any word on Bion or Curt. Chuck frowned at the phone. “Kar, no work. Let’s try to enjoy this.”

“I’m sorry, Chuck. I’m bored. I can’t help it. There’s nothing to do when I’m just sitting here, waiting.”

“Hmm. I think I have an idea. You can’t drive, right?”

“Yeah. Not really any point for me to.”

“Sure there is. What if you have to go undercover.”

“Chuck, my face is in the news every other day. I think me going undercover is about as likely as you stripping for Jenny.”

“So, you’d do it for twenty dollars in singles?”

“Only twenty dollars?”

“Anyway, I still think it’s a good idea. What if your powers fade away one day? Or you just don’t feel like flying.”

“If I don’t feel like flying, I’ll just make you carry me places. You’ll be my palanquin.”

“Is that how that’s going to work?”

“Yeah. I think so.” He pulled into a large empty parking lot of some big box store, got out, and opened the door for me. I rolled my eyes and got out. He sat in my seat and I made my way over to the other side. I sat in the driver’s seat and looked around.

“Okay. What’s the first thing you should do?”

“Fly away.”

“Come on, Kari. This might be fun.” I sighed and reached for the keys, then stopped.

“This is a trick question. I’ll have you know that I’ve seen just about every sitcom and I know exactly what you’re doing. There are going to be no hijinks!”

“No hijinks,” he agreed with a smile. I grabbed the seatbelt and buckled it, checked the mirrors, and then started the car.

“Wow. You really meant it when you said no hijinks.”

“Well, I do know what the PRNDL is, after all.”

“What?”

“Stop being old,” I responded, putting the car in drive. I pressed down on the gas pedal and the car jolted forward. Chuck grabbed the handle on the ceiling of the car. The baby, I thought as I slowed down. I tried pressing it a little softer and easing into it. The car pushed forward and I started turning.

“Turn signal.”

“We’re in a parking lot.”

“And you’re learning. Turn signal.” I groaned and put it on. We spent about half an hour driving around the parking lot. And then I pulled out onto the street. “What are you doing?”

“I got this. It’s easy.”

“I don’t know.”

“Chuck, what could I possibly hit here that can get damaged?”

“A person, my car, a tree, a building, my car, me, my car,” he rattled off.

“Well, you’re a superhero. So you’ll be fine. I have super-senses, so I shouldn’t hit anything. And if I hurt your car or a building or a tree, I’ll buy you a new one.”

“You’ll buy me a new tree.”

“. . . Yes.” I turned out onto the street and drove down the road. I did lose track of my speed a bit. Ended up going about sixty in a forty-five. We weren’t stopped, fortunately. Mostly because no one was around. I pulled into the parking lot of the diner they had. Admittedly. I pulled onto the little parking spot barrier they had and had to pull back, which dropped the car a little roughly. Chuck frowned at me. “So, I need a little more practice.”

“Yeah,” he conceded. “You did well, considering.”

We got into the restaurant. Everything they served was some variant of fried. I grimaced slightly. Despite my constant desire for ice cream, I actually have a really strict diet. But we are on a vacation, I thought. The food was really good, actually. I excused myself for a moment and got some change. A little surprise for later.

When we got back to the room, we cuddled together and watched a movie. But before we retired entirely, I did break out the twenty dollars in singles.

“What’s that?” Chuck asked. I grinned and reached over, stuffing a dollar in his slacks. He laughed and danced away from the second dollar I had grabbed. “No! Kari! No, I’m not going to.”

“Oh come on, why not?” I asked.

“Because I think the woman running the place will disapprove!”

“So what? She doesn’t have to know.”

“She already thinks that’s what we’re doing in here!” He exclaimed.

“Best not disappoint her, then. Or me, for that matter,” I said, catching up with him. I stuffed a dollar down his shirt. He stopped and wrapped his arms around me. The first real contact he had initiated. I leaned into him a little bit. He pressed back into me. We kissed. It was soft at first. But grew quickly. I might have been a little insistent. It had been a while. Things escalated nicely from there. A welcome break from how things usually escalate around me.

=== Curt ===

I had finished my machines and was lounging a little bit. Bion had been arrested and was being denied bail for being the world’s biggest flight risk and Cin had insisted that we take an actual holiday. We were late for our honeymoon plans since I had gotten captured and she was pretty annoyed about all that. So, instead, I made the best of it that I could. I needed to get back on her good side. My answer was to get all of her favorite foods and prepare a lovely dinner as a surprise. Champagne from a specific vineyard in Paris, Chicken Milano from a restaurant in Italy, Swiss chocolates from . . . Michigan. Candles from a small shop in China, and finally an ancient knife that had been stolen and put in a museum for seventy years. We were in Avalare again and I set up a table at a spot where we could see the whole city. It was open-air, and there was still a chill in the air, but I set up little heaters.

Cin arrived fashionably late. As always, she was dressed to kill, but her face didn’t match the mood I had been trying to set. “Curt, have you seen the news?”

“The news?” I asked. “Uh, no, I’ve been . . . busy,”

I guided her over to the table and pulled out her chair. She didn’t sit. “Curt, something’s going on.”

“What?” I asked.

“Someone’s using your name.”

“Oh, yeah. I heard the police thought that some thefts were me. But that’s okay. They blame me for everything.”

“No, Curt,” she said somberly. “Look.”

She held out her phone and I took it, scrolling through. There had been a bombing. Someone had tried to blow up one of the EnGin buildings. A message came on afterwards. A man in a mask, surrounded by more men in masks, each holding a gun, was staring blankly into a camera. The voice was distorted by some kind of voice scrambler. “The fruits of our labor have been stolen for too long. We are going to bring down this system that has caused us so much strife. Esvanir has shown us the way. We will no longer stand by complacently as corporations and supposed heroes steal everything that’s rightfully ours. We are the Acolytes of Esvanir!”

The men behind him cried and raised their guns to the air. I sat in the seat that I had taken out for Cindi. I checked the story. There were fifty casualties and one-hundred-and-twelve injuries. I swallowed hard and looked up at her. “Cindi, I didn’t have anything to do with this. I swear. I . . .”

My words failed me but Cindi gripped my face in her hands. Her voice was soft and comforting. “I know you didn’t, idiot. You’d never do something so sloppy.”

“What do I do?”

“I . . . I don’t know, husband.”

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