"Two more days. Well, if we get up a bit earlier in the morning and walk for a bit longer than usual then we can be there in about a day and a half. Thoughts?"

The light crackling of burning wood punctuated Li Mei Yen’s question, the metal rod she held pushing the charred logs about. She looked anxious, uneasy. She pushed the logs to stoke the fire, to quell her own desires before they burst out. Yin Long was mostly looking at the fire, the orange-crimson tongues that rose up before dying down into scattered embers. But even so, he could see the slight paling on Li Mei Yen’s knuckles. This was perhaps the first time since he fell down here that he had seen someone be this anxious, this eager.

"I’m up for it."

"No argument here."

"Not gonna say no when everyone else has already said yes."

The others in the group had no reason to refuse, if Yin Long just turned his head slightly then he felt that he’d see them be just as anxious as her. The reward they’d receive if they managed to pull off this attack with him… it must surely be something rather substantial since it managed to flare up their desires like this.

"…Long?"

Then again, this was the Netherworld. Desires down here didn’t need to be grand, they just needed to exist, the land would do the rest. Want became need and need became obsession, and thus even the small thought of wanting to pick up a branch could become an obsession to gather all the wood in the forest. What a beautiful perversion of the world.

"Yin Long? Are you there?"

A pale orange light flickered in front of his eyes as the voice tugged him back to reality, Li Mei Yen waving the flaring tip of the metal rod in front of his face to draw his attention. Murky eyes followed the slowly fading light for a few moments, the darkness shifting to the side when the last of the light was extinguished.

Lan Yun. She sat right next to him, her hand resting gently on his. He couldn’t feel the heat from the fire right in front of him, but the warmth from her skin allowed him some reprieve.

She tried to smile at him, but still her lips were unable to properly turn up, all she could muster was an expression as shattered as his own reflection. He looked deep into her eyes, but all he saw was himself, a thousand shattered versions all twirling around each other, converging towards an empty centre. In a way, that too was an answer.

"It’s fine with me. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can help the unfortunate souls, right?"

The corners of his mouth curved up as the darkness slid away from Lan Yun and onto Li Mei Yen. Empty words and an even emptier smile. But it looked good, he was confident of that by now, it was a pleasant smile even if it didn’t hold any meaning. And indeed, Li Mei Yen replied in kind, appearing oh-so caring.

"Indeed. After all, we can’t just keep letting them suffer, can we?"

It hadn’t been long, but Yin Long felt that this performance was already getting tiresome. She would use him for his ability and he would use her for her knowledge and connections. They would use and abuse, yet they acted like nothing, veiling the masks they already wore with another layer.

But that was fine. They were just people, they were just suffering. So don the masks, hide the truth, play pretend. Ease the pain so that you can live as a human. And in time, he would come along and smile as he gave you his hand. He’d take your pain away.

Would you live better then? Would you be more human? Would you be happy and content? Would you just find new ways to hurt? He didn’t know, they didn’t know, perhaps the world itself didn’t know.

But what did it matter? It was an empty smile accompanied by curse-like prayers. What fell was ashen oil rather than tears, the suffering wasn’t eased and instead just passed on. In the end, it was all for the girl who could no longer smile, all for a vain hope and pointless dream. It didn’t matter, it probably never would. But even so, he couldn’t stop himself from going through with it.

"…Long, zoning out again?"

A voice tugged at his mind again, forcefully pulling him back to the reality around him. The crackling fire was gone, replaced by blackened chunks that used to be healthy logs. Normally he would check the temperature of the coal to see how long the fire had been out, but he hadn’t even been able to feel the fire itself so it would be pointless.

His gaze turned slightly. Lan Yun was still sitting at his side, her hand resting on his so that she could provide some warmth. He hadn’t moved so neither had she. The others, however, had set up their tents and prepared everything already, only Yin Long had mentally faded away.

"Yes, it seemed like I drifted off there for a second. I should probably turn in early today then, shouldn’t I?"

He drew a hand across his face as if he wanted to wipe away the supposed tiredness, a slick yet grainy sensation brushing against his hand. There was no ashen oil right now, but it felt as if it irreversibly stained him. The blood of his friends and family festered on his hands and sword, and the wastewater of the world rotted on his face. Truly, he had become a beautiful avatar of wretched decay.

His legs felt numb as he stood up, he couldn’t even feel his feet as he walked. To walk without feeling it, would this be similar to what people described as walking on clouds?

His head swirled with pointless thoughts as he reached the tent he was borrowing from Li Mei Yen’s group, a simple one-man tent that they kept around for emergencies. A straw-filled bedroll was already rolled out, a simple blanket neatly folded by its side. Everything was simple, but perhaps that was to be expected from their emergency preparations, they were never supposed to actually be used.

But oh well, they would do the trick, Yin Long had never been picky after all, he was perfectly fine with sleeping on the bare ground. He slumped down on the bedroll, staring at the top of the tent somewhat vacantly.

Lan Yun had obviously followed him into the tent, squeezing onto the bedroll with him as she wrapped her arms around him. It was cramped, the tent really was too small for two people, Yin Long wouldn’t even be able to move without rolling over her.

But he didn’t complain. The warm breath on his neck, the gentle sensation of skin touching skin. It was exactly as he remembered it, just as calming. And above all, it was warm. This was what the sun was supposed to feel like, this was what fire was supposed to produce. But he couldn’t feel those things any longer… only this remained.

The tent was dark, the closed flaps blocking out the surrounding world, leaving only the tent filled with quiet breaths. But the hours passed. As sure as the sun rising, as sure as life becoming death, the hours would always pass. Night was as sure to fall as dawn was to rise.

He didn’t count the hours, but eventually, soft sounds reached Yin Long’s ears. It wasn’t hard to hear them, he was just lying there awake after all, vacantly looking at the top of the tent as he listened to the soft breaths that tickled his ear. Sleep… Felt increasingly hard to get. Or perhaps he slept at times and simply didn’t notice, his mind was drifting more often than not ever since he came down here.

The soft sounds reached him again as his mind was starting to wander, tugging him back to reality. Lan Yun’s eyes were still closed, her rhythmic breathing forming a familiar symphony.

Rushed breaths. Frantic yet subdued motions. Barely audible murmurs. Lonely ecstasy leaking from behind closed doors. The sound was coming from Shen Sheu’s tent, just as it did every night.

He was tense, stressed. They were already in hell so it was hard for things to get worse, but death down here was truly terrifying. So stress mounted. As a man, Shen Sheu had a very simple way of venting stress, a lonely yet somewhat effective way.

But as had become common occurrence over these last three days of travelling, that first lonely sound was quickly accompanied by another melody. As always, the sound of Ting Dao Goh’s tent flapping open followed the lonely melody, the sound of Shen Sheu’s tent flaps following quickly after.

One rushed breath was met with another, murmurs became whispers and subdued groans. The sickly scent spread out with the sound, quietly wafting from tent to tent as it tugged at the noses of everyone there.

And sure enough, another tent opened before long. Ho Dong. He left his tent and crept into Shen Sheu’s, a duo of whispers becoming a trio as the sickly scent got thicker. And then the last tent was opened, as quietly as always, as stealthily as always. Li Mei Yen barely made any sound as she crept across the campsite, but Yin Long could hear her every step. Her breathing had gotten heavier, a certain scent spilling from her mouth as she too crept into Shen Sheu’s tent and turned the trio into a quartet.

All it took was one person. A single man had to feel the need to relieve himself to infect everyone else. His rushed breathing and frantic movements would be heard by the others, the thought of doing something similar popping into their head. And when that thought struck them, they would end up thinking about how pleasing it would feel to relieve their stress like that.

And that was it. A piddling desire, a simple thought that some pleasure would be nice. The Netherworld did the rest, latching onto that insignificant desire and morphing it into a beast. And thus, the current situation unfolded.

They tried to remain quiet, only a few occasional gasps or moans leaking out. Perhaps they thought he was asleep since he never joined them nor mentioned it, was that why they were trying to be quiet? But it didn’t matter. For he was awake, motionless.

"Desire trumps fear, us humans really can be strange at times."

His voice spilt forth into the quiet tent. Ho Dong was afraid, he had suffered from betrayals so he was afraid of women. Li Mei Yen too was afraid, she had suffered betrayals so she was afraid of people. And yet, both of them crept into that steamy tent, their desires momentarily swallowing their fears.

But it never lasted. Morning would come as sure as always, and they would go back to being afraid. Li Mei Yen would trail behind and Ho Dong would take his distance from the two women. For a moment they desired, but forever they would fear.

"Why can’t I feel anything?"

He spoke as if he just vented his own frustrations, as if he was disappointed that he couldn’t feel even a piddling desire like the others when presented with such a sound. But he posed a question, and someone was always sure to answer him.

"Is loyalty and devotion not the perfect answer, Young Master?"

Lan Yun spoke up from his side, her eyes sliding open as if her earlier sleep had been nothing but an illusion. Then again, perhaps it was nothing more than that, a pleasant scene to bring comfort to a weary mind.

Yin Long’s eyes slid slightly, the darkness settling on Lan Yun again, his own shattered reflection staring back at him. Loyalty. Devotion. How sweet they sounded, how comforting. But down here, such things weren’t enough, they weren’t substantial in the face of desire’s corruption.

He wanted to believe in them, he really did. Few things would make him happier than actually believing in that statement. But could he?

"Yeah, I guess that makes a lot of sense. I should thank the gods that I managed to maintain at least that much."

But, no matter what he thought, no matter what the reality of the world was, he had to agree. His own reflection flickered in Lan Yun’s eyes and for a second he felt like he could see straight through her, but luckily it only lasted for a quick second.

He agreed to her words and the corners of his lips curved up, his gaze slowly sliding back to the top of the tent. He agreed and he smiled, all for her, all for his fear. Tomorrow they would start moving early and then it wouldn’t be too much longer until they reached the city. But for now, he laid there in the darkness and listened to the subdued sounds, an empty smile painted onto his face like a mask.