《Humans Must Adapt!》Chapter 134: Paranoid.
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I think about what Rain told me when I last met her. Master Wang treated me as a disciple but not as a student. He lets me learn, but he doesn't teach me.
"Master Wang, when will you treat me like a student and teach me."
I barely know how to fight, going through all my fights with my stats and resistance with brutality. Without my tamed beasts, I'd have less than half the power I have now.
"I'll do it right now if you answer a question."
"Understood."
"What happens after?"
"Pardon?"
Master Wang stands out and starts walking around the dojo, looking at all the paraphilia on the walls. Pictures and framed gis, old swords on display next to newspaper clips. The walls are ordered chaos.
"I train you, then what? Do you waste my teachings and your potential by living a peaceful life, or will you enlist for the next war that happens to come along? I am not a necessity to you. You won't need me if you have Giles."
"..."
"Any answer I'll accept, but it has to be the truth. If you want to settle down with a family or create a rival dojo to fight against me, that's fine. But if what you say has any falsehoods, then leave instead."
"... I have a few things I want to do."
"Oh, do tell."
"My family has disappeared one after another, and I'd like to know why."
"I saw your family, and it looks like they're fine. Unless you are talking about your last name, Ellis. Do you want answers because they are gone, or is your curiosity driving you."
"..."
"Let me make it easier for you. What do you love, and what do you hate? Start with whatever's easier."
"I don't like being forced to do something I don't want to."
"True, true. Although you are willing to put that aside to gain whatever benefits you want."
"Am I that transparent?"
"To me, yes. I lived because many others died. I've seen every angle of the human psyche firsthand. I know people better than any mind reader can achieve. Let me tell you about you, Ellis.
You hate authority but lack the drive to change the people above you. You are curious, but you keep yourself from indulging in your thoughts, but when you do, you go overboard. You are possessive and egotistic, even if you don't believe it. I know all this because I know you, your father, and your grandfather. You three are all the same breed of crazy."
I stand up.
"Sit back down. I'm not done. I wouldn't try to change a single one of you, Vinceres. If you are all that, then you are also stubborn."
"Is there a point in breaking down my character if you aren't trying to change me?"
"What will you do with my training?"
"I don't know."
"What do you want to do?"
"Right now, I want to let my tamed beasts reach level one hundred."
"I'll let you do that here. What do you want to do?"
".I don't know yet."
What is the purpose of my life? Is it to complete an evergrowing list of side quests like I've been doing, or is there something I want to tackle for my future? I have questions about everything. Maybe I could find out the answers. Maybe, I should see how far my resistance can go. Maybe, I should see how far my tamed beasts can go. Is that enough?
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"Tell me an answer tomorrow."
I leave the room. Master Wang has permitted me to stay at his abode even If I need to sleep over. It worked out since Rain wanted to run a few tests as well. I started mulling over his words.
I was given a great hand at life, and it would be a shame if I decide to go back to my little city and settle down there and take over my foster father's underwear company when I graduate from the institute. I have a festival to go to, but I don't even know when that is. The amount of care I have is little to those outside of my circle.
There are many things I want to do... Hatch an egg, gather books, free Charlie, get my dad's notes back, find all the box's secrets, etc. All things that aren't end-game goals, but isn't that what life is? Taking things one step at a time. I should talk to someone.
I don't want to burden my beasts or my family with my problems. I go to someone in between. Is that racist? I'm standing in front of my brother's building. I buzz the door, and a butler answers it.
"How can I help you? The master of the house isn't expecting visitors."
"Can you tell a valiant warrior who happens to be a great climber that his human brother is here to see him?"
"..."
"I mean Hoo Hee Haa Hoo."
"A, master H. Wait here."
Why am I only friends with rich people? Eventually, I get led inside and up to the top floor. I guess he's more of a doorman rather than a butler, my bad. I open the door and see my monkey brother trying to put the bolder back together. He has nothing but his wits as he tries to solve nature's puzzle set.
"Why did you want to see me, brother? Are you one of the institutes that won? If so, great job! If not, do better."
"I am the captain of Bluefield, the one tied in the first place."
"Good job then. I didn't expect anything less."
"I'm here for a different reason. I have no idea what the purpose of my life is. I can run around like a video game character and gain strength until my brain goes numb, but I don't know if that's what I want."
Hoo Hee Haa Hoo turns to me and looks me in the eyes. He puts down a chunk of rock and grabs a pitcher of ale from the fridge. We sit down as he pours us a cup.
"Tell me what's wrong."
I told him what master Wang asked of me and the answers I provided. I even told him about master Wang's psychoanalysis and the things I plan to do.
"Let me tell you a story from my tribe. There was once a genius monkey named Hwahwa who was a spearman. That monkey wanted to do great things. He wanted to be a great fisherman, so he used his spear. He wanted to be a warrior, so he used his spear. He wanted to be a great lover, so he used his spear."
"What's the point of the story?"
"He wanted to do it, so he did it."
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He sips his ale.
"That's it?"
"Yeah, Hwahwa had the tools to do what he wanted, so he did whatever he wanted."
"..."
"There is another story involving Hwahwa. One day he lost his spear and could no longer be the best fisherman, warrior, or lover. So he sought out his spear but could only find a sword. He trained from scratch to become the best once again. Stabbing sharks, the opposition, and beautiful women. They all fell on his sword."
"Is the moral of that story, if you can't do what you want, do it anyways?"
"Nah, more like if you aren't good enough, get good."
"I understand, but I don't know if that helps."
He drinks the rest of his ale before shrugging. He uses his tail to pour himself more. I didn't drink mine yet, so he takes it in his other hand. It doesn't matter what I will do. I'm going to do what I want or what I have to, so I can do what I want. Is that genuine? I frequently do things I don't want to do. I didn't even want to be in the tournament.
I wanted the rewards, so I did something I didn't want to do. Does that count? Maybe I should become a philosopher and live in a basin.
"I can see you are swimming in thoughts. Do you want something that can expand your mind?"
He pulls out a baggie of green leaves.
"These are [Sage of the Diviners], and they can make you experience epiphanies. Sages from my tribe grow them."
He tosses it over, and I [Scientific Insight+] it before catching it. There are thirteen leaves inside.
[Sage of the Diviners A
A potent salvia that can be used to experience many things, leading to epiphanies and other things. It is almost impossible to cultivate this plant.]
I pocket the herbs and, after thanking him, I leave his building.
~
I'm back at the mansion after borrowing master Wang's kettle. I boil the hell out of some water using Flash Gordon and seep two leaves inside of it. I activate [Broken Liver] and drink the entire thing, not waiting for it to cool down. There is a high probability that these are drugs, but what can I do? Ah,
My reality changed.
~
I woke up from a dream-like state. It felt like I lived the life of a farmer from birth to death. I had an unfortunate tractor accident at age 75. I can recall the face of my wife and children and all the animals I raised from the dirt. It was like I was still conscious, but I had just woken up. Like I was watching my life from the passenger seat or on a big screen. I look around the library, and I'm the only one inside. With perfect clarity, I can pinpoint details. I pinch myself and feel pain. I shouldn't be able to feel pain from that.
I look down at my hands, and they're both there. Both of them. I clench my left fist, and I can feel every muscle contraction and my nails digging into my palm. I start to bleed. Bitter.
I try to open my system window, but nothing happens. No skills activate. I stand up from my chair and leave the library. Was the dream the farm life or the life with Flash Gordon? It feels so real, but so did the other ones. If anything, this feels the most real. I can remember this reality as well.
My father should be in the chemist's lab on the second floor of this mansion. He'll leave it when grandpa visits, but grandpa is too busy running the country. I'm technically homeschooled and stayed here in the manor my entire life. I go to my room, and I find two different tanks. One is a terrarium with a boa constrictor, and the other is an aquarium with a dwarf shark. I named them after regal positions. A Duchess and a Khan.
My mouth is dry, and my vision is blurry. I don't know when I started sweating, but my shirt became drenched. My heart hurts, and I can't breathe. My fingers tremble as I bring them to my temples.
What is real? Was that just a perceived reality? Is anything real right now? When did I take those leaves? I remember getting them from my dad's lab and from a monkey. I need to calm down, but I can't.
Eventually, I stopped. I need to compare notes. I look around the look and pull out a picture book. The feeling of paper on my skin feels so real. I flip pages until I find an old picture of my dead younger brother. It's the only picture of him. It's labeled Robert Vincere.
Flash Gordon doesn't exist here. I even see a chunk of obsidian in the shape of an egg on my desk, but no Flash Gordon. I don't think I can live in a world without him. Maybe food will clear my head. I head to the kitchen and take the only thing inside the fridge. A single cantaloupe. I put it on the counter and grab a knife.
I look down at the knife in my hand. An intrusive thought creeps into the back of my mind. My farming life ended when I died. Would it happen again? Is this also a dream? I didn't remember any other life as a farmer, but it would be worth the shot. Right? A clap of thunder startles me, and I drop the knife in the sink.
"Sigh."
I get the knife and stab it into the cantaloupe. I can only be wrong once. Cantaloupe is my least-liked fruit, but I eat it anyway. Maybe I could call someone, but then I remembered that my dad doesn't allow electronics outside the lab.
I look out the window and see gnarly storm clouds blocking the sky. It doesn't look safe outside. I leave the mansion and start walking around in the raindrops, letting the cold water cool me down. Maybe I'm just paranoid. These droplets feel concrete enough for me.
I slip on a wet rock and hit my head.
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