《A Frog Out Of Water - Yu-Gi-Oh GX Self Insert》Chapter 12 - Phil Runs Some Laps

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The next morning came quickly as Phil passed the time by trying to figure out what exactly would be fun to play in the tournament. In fact, Phil was so engrossed in the topic that he barely even noticed the strange sight of Chazz out on the school grounds digging in the dirt, or the audible whispering that filled the classroom. Soon enough, though, Jaden and Syrus each took up a seat directly next to Phil and broke his train of thought with their questions.

“Morning dude! Did Ms. Hibiki tell you about the tournament?” Jaden’s question was the first out of the gate, leaving Phil to give the boy a sideways look to note the sheer excitement on Jaden’s face.

“Yup. She mentioned it after I got pulled out of class. I heard you’re gonna rep the Slifers and Chazz will be for Obelisk?”

Jaden quickly nodded to answer Phil’s question. “That’s it in a nutshell. Pretty sweet, right? I even got to have a fun duel with Chazz after he heard the news. Apparently he wasn’t quite sure that I could pull my weight, but I think I managed to convince him.”

Phil leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms far behind his back in an attempt to clear some of the fatigue left in his body. “Cool, cool. Well, I’m sure you both’ll do fine. I’ll try and track down Chazz after class, maybe we can make some plans for the tournament.”

“Well, I wouldn’t work too hard, bro. Bastion’s already been down in the computer lab since late last night trying to figure out who we play first.” Jaden chuckled, mimicking Phil’s stretched out posture, but going a bit further by resting his feet on the top of his desk. “Bastion sure is hardworking. As for me, I’m not gonna sweat it ‘cuz Jaden’s the name and sweet duels are my game!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

At that exact moment, in Dr. Crowler’s office, the strange sight of the clown-like man rolling on the ground with a mixture of frustration and anger could be seen.

“That, that damn Slifer slacker! First he has the nerve to show up to the entrance exams late, then he gets the luck of the century to beat me, and now all he does is laze around in class! But somehow, Ms. Hibiki chose that damn Slifer slacker for the international school duels! Doesn’t she realize that Chazz and Phillip will have to pick up that trash’s slack? Oooohhhh, if only Zane wasn’t studying abroad still! He could be his own team for heavens sake!”

With every other word Dr. Crowler rolled back and forth to try and relieve his own frustration, but not a single plan that came to his mind felt like it would work. “Think, Vellian, think! Your plan with the love letter didn’t work, nor did stroking Chazz’s pride against the slacker do anything. Well, I wouldn’t say that, since Chazz seems to have gotten stronger since that duel, but that damn eyesore is still here! He doesn’t pay much attention in class, but Ms. Hibiki won’t take any actions simply because of that since she considers his ability as good enough!”

Eventually, Dr. Crowler’s rolls became so quick and violent that his back slammed into a smaller table that he like to keep at the side of his office. It rocked, and accompanied with Dr. Crowler’s howls of pain, a thick phone book fell to strike the good doctor straight on his face. The unexpected impact was enough to temporarily stop Dr. Crowler’s motions as he contemplated why the universe hated him so much.

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But then, Dr. Crowler’s face (the part that was not covered by the phone book) brightened as he read the ad that had slipped out of the pages. “Hmmm… yes, let’s see… I certainly do want a specific person gone from my life… oh and delivery happens within two days or my money back? Ooohh… too bad it’s early in the school year, I’m missing the holiday special.” Within minutes Dr. Crowler’s mind was made up and he reached for the phone.

“Yes, is this… Mr. Titan? Perrrrrfect. I’d like to request your services. Yes. Duel Academy, his name is Jaden Yuki. Oh, and I do have a coupon from your ad. Excellent!” Crowler slammed the phone down onto its receiver, already imagining the terrifying duel that was heading right towards the Slifer slacker.

Hmm… when that slacker drops out, who should I recommend to replace him in the tournament? Decisions, decisions.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As quickly as the morning came, it too passed into thin air, allowing Phil to make his escape from the classroom and let loose his barely contained scream of sheer boredom.

“I’ll admit it, Phil. That was actually impressive.” Lumina remarked from the nearby stone bench she was sitting on, unnoticed to all but Phil and a handful of other students as she sipped from her thermos. “I think I saw startled birds flying into the sky from at least a few miles away. Well, I give you props for avoiding disrupting the lesson this time around.”

“Fackin’ hell Lumina, I swear that was the driest bullshit I’ve ever had to sit through, and I spent four fucking years at a state college. Seriously I cannot believe that any professor in their right mind would actually ask anyone who has a functioning brain what a field spell does. The answer is, ding ding ding if you guess it, it stays on the damn field and does what the card text says it does! It doesn’t take a man with a brain the size of the galaxy to figure out what Umi does! It! Boosts! Attack!”

With a bitter scream of despair, Phil charged headfirst into the nearest tree (some five feet away) and began to slam his head straight into the trunk over and over again in an attempt to forget his terrible ordeal. Eventually, as the skin on his forehead began to be covered with scratches, a familiar, a few confused voices interrupted Phil’s temporary madness.

“Woah woah woah!” Alexis grabbed Phil’s shoulder, motioning for Bastion to grab the other one. “Phil what are you doing! We saw you running out of the classroom like a bat out of hell, and now this? Come’on guy, step back, take a deep breath, and tell us what’s going on!”

The firm grip of Bastion’s hand on Phil’s shoulder shook Phil out of his daze and he looked Bastion straight in the eyes. “Bastion, buddy, hombre~… I have had what some may call a sudden realization! An existential crisis! A-“

Bastion interrupted Phil just as he got going in true dramatic fashion. “The point, Phil, get to the point or I’ll drop you.” It was, as it turned out for Phil, a truly trying dilemma. With how forcefully Bastion and Alexis had pulled him away from the tree, they were actually supporting some amount of his body in their arms.

“Okay, touché Bastion. I’m sorry, I got bored as fuck in there so I ran out. I-I just had to break the monotony somehow, you know? I was on that bigass tree before I knew it. Plus I’m kinda worried about ol’ Syrus, with him not knowing what a field spell does. Maybe we should make some sort of a study group. As annoying as the idea sounds, I’ve grown kinda fond of that blue haired kiddo, would be a shame if Crowler decides to give him the boot.”

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Bastion took on a thoughtful look. “Indeed… that could be quite helpful. Perhaps we could also ask Jaden and Chazz, that way it would double as prep for the international school duel.”

“Well, if you put it that way, if you boys don’t mind me, Mindy, and Jasmine dropping by I bet you could use the library in Blue. Better then those shacks poor Jaden and Syrus have to deal with.” Alexis chimed in from the side while she rustled around in her pockets, before producing a handkerchief and handing it to Phil. The boy in question took it in silence, and then looked at Alexis with confusion in his eyes until she started pointing towards her own forehead and Phil got the hint. That, and he finally felt something wet trickle between his eyes.

“Oh. Right. Thanks Alexis.” Phil muttered as he wiped away the spatterings of blood that the tree had decorated his face with. “So anyways, I was already planning on tracking down Chazz in a bit, so I’ll add the boys in Red to the list. I’ll let ’cha know sometime tomorrow? Maybe?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Bastion and Alexis spoke with Phil for a few more minutes until they were satisfied that their friend was sufficiently calmed down, and then upon Phil mentioning he was going to run a few laps around the island to ‘try and get focused up’, the two took their leave.

“Seriously, I don’t know how bored you need to get to be reduced to that state, but I don’t know about you Alexis, I don’t want to ever personally find out.” Bastion looked sideways at the girl, and then quickly looked away as his heart beat faster upon even seeing her face. Even after his loss to Jaden a few days ago, and his failing to get Alexis’s phone number, he still couldn’t completely, as Phil would say, ‘play cool with his crush and ask her the hell out already’. Bastion had almost screwed up the courage to ask her, but then they had seen Phil run out of the room with that look on his face. The one that Bastion, and seemingly Alexis now, were able to interpret as Phil about to do something he would regret in the future. Still, Bastion prided himself on the fact that since he had met Phil, the boy was already somewhat better than at the start. Somewhat.

“No, Bastion, I don’t know either.” Alexis muttered as she examined the state of the handkerchief Phil had returned to her. “If I didn’t know head wounds bleed a lot, I would say that’s an alarming amount of blood on this, but I should be able to soak the cloth to get out the stains…”

She shrugged her shoulders, and with a wave Alexis was off. “See you later, Bastion. Maybe we can share some tricks in that study group of Phil’s.”

Bastion took a deep breath to steel himself, and then forced himself to wave back without jumping up and down to make a fool of himself. “Yeah! See you soon!”

Okayokayokay Bastion I think you did a great job pal, just have to keep playing it cool. Seem dependable, unshakable, and eventually she’ll come around. Until then, play it cool so I don’t ruin our friendship.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Phil huffed and puffed as he set off on his second lap of running around the island while Lumina floated along behind him with a strange-looking watch and a whistle.

“What the fuck is happening to me.” Phil questioned himself in between gasping breaths. “I’ve done some stupid-ass things before, but I’ve only ever thought about slamming my head into a brick wall or something to break up the boredom.” Yet, there he was after class, stress-testing his own head against a tree. Admittedly, it did end up resolving the boredom problem. The downside, however, is that even Phil, as dense as he was sometimes, could see that his friends were a bit worried for him.

“It better not be because of these damn hormones, I already have to go through puberty, or at least part of it, for the second ti- AAGGHHH!” Phil nearly jumped out of his own skin as Lumina blew her whistle in the middle of Phil’s musings. It was, as Phil realized, less of a whistle and more of a demonic foghorn disguised as a whistle, though.

“Keep moving, maggot!” Lumina shouted at him in between sips of calming chamomile tea from her battered thermos. “Eyes up front, lets burn, burn, burn that energy! By the time the next class period starts, your professor won’t even recognize you!”

Phil sighed as he pumped his arms and legs as fast as possible. “I don’t know, Lumina. Do you have an idea of what’s going on? I know I was a dumbass back on Earth, but never this impulsive.”

Lumina let off another foghorn blast on her whistle, and then took a long gulp of tea to steady herself. “Yeah… about that…”

“About what?” Phil tilted his head so he could watch Lumina out of the corner of his eyes while he ran. “You actually know something?”

“Well… I meant to tell you this earlier, I really did. It’s just that all that trouble with the professors and all, I kept forgetting. Really!” Lumina’s voice trailed away into thin air as Phil turned around to glare at her while reducing his pace to jog backwards. “Well, as it turns out… they guys in the lab back in Lightsworn R&D think it’s because of the reincarnation process. They seem to think… they seem to think that a few little bits of, well, you, didn’t fully make it here. It shouldn’t cause any life-threatening problems, really! Just a few impulse-control issues, that should be all.” Lumina waved her hands in panic as Phil completely stopped running to look her dead in the eyes with as serious of an expression as she had ever seen him wear.

“In fact, that’s part of the reason I’m here! To help you in your quest since the reincarnation crew messed up a bit!”

“What. The. Fuck.” Phil chewed on each word, spitting them out like bits of gristle. “Wow, gee. Thanks for telling me this earlier. You know, I admit I don’t know for sure if having this information changes anything, but the first step to solving a problem is knowing it exists. You’ve had how many days to tell me this? You do know I could have at least tried to prepare countermeasures against this problem of mine if I had only known it was an actual problem you guys made, right?” Lumina could only bow her head in apology throughout Phil’s rant.

“Damn it all. I guess I should be thanking you for telling me this before any major boss fights, at least. Thankfully Bastion and the crew are able to tolerate my shit. Lumina, I’ll write this down once I get a chance, but can you remind me to try and find something nice for them next time they take us out to the mainland? That is, assuming I actually have some cash. I’m not entirely sure about that, in all honesty. Maybe I can fish around in my collection, find some era-appropriate support for their decks?”

Phil fell silent as he considered his options, his earlier anger towards Lumina fading as quickly as it sprang up.

I think I have a few copies of Benten and a few of the other ritual support cards for the deck laying around for Alexis? For Bastion I guess I can check for any more of those bonding cards. He seems to like those. Jaden is easy, I can send a stratos and some of the weirder E-hero support cards his way. When I do that, I think I have a few of the ‘roid fusions laying around that I grabbed a while back for a casual tournament. Syrus might like them.

With that figured out, Phil resumed his jog for a few more minutes until Lumina’s rather fleshy-looking stopwatch belched out with a set of diseased lips that it was ten o’ clock, time for the next class. Not even ten minutes later and Phil slipped into the back of the classroom to sit near Jaden and the crew with a sense of exhaustion in his bones and an yellow thermos of tea in his right hand that Lumina had made to apologize.

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