With Sasuke and Kazuma becoming genins, they could spend more time training. They weren’t bored like they were at the Academy. Finally, Kazuma was making friends, and Sasuke was learning to tolerate his teammates. According to him, Sakura was good for nothing and had no professional conscience. As for Kiba, he was an arrogant and defiant brawler who took everything as a joke. Although Sasuke tended to agree with him when Kiba complained about their boring assignments, he would never act like the Inuzuka.

However, they had managed to agree on the test of the bells. They weren’t that bad after all. And no matter how much Sasuke complained about them, he already considered them his teammates, his partners. Sakura’s loyalty made her quite funny when she had to face Kakashi to help Sasuke.

Kiba’s sense of smell and ferocity had also come in handy. Then, they refused to let Sasuke starve, tied to a post. Sasuke still felt vaguely insulted at the thought of needing his comrades’ charity.

Having an Inuzuka on the team was quite useful for lost animal search missions. Even though Kiba was an insufferably arrogant idiot, he was also a reliable support. So Sasuke supposed that made him a useful idiot. Moreover, Kiba never placed himself in competition with the members of his team. He had a primal pack belonging instinct. His teammates were allies, not challengers or adversaries. Overall, Sasuke was happy to be a genin.

Five years ago, after the massacre, the young Uchiha had a long conversation with his new clan leader. Jun had told him what he expected from him and what the youth could expect from his clan leader. He had answered some of Sasuke’s questions and promised to answer the others when the time came. The young Uchiha hadn’t forgotten about it. He was a genin now and was able to hear some answers. Therefore, he asked to speak to Jun to hear the truth.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Jun asked.

They were in the garden, which sometimes served as their training ground. In the distance, Sasuke heard Izumi laughing, probably at Kazuma who was telling her about his latest mission, or at Karin who was complaining about her training with Gai-sensei. Sasuke frowned.

“I want to know.”

Jun observed him for a moment. Sasuke sometimes wondered how the clan leader saw him. Like a burden? A duty? An obligation? A reminder of Itachi? A member of his family? He didn’t really know how he saw Jun either. Sometimes, he felt comfortable and relaxed in his family, to the point of forgetting they weren’t his family.

Each time, the realization made him jump like he had been thrown a bucket of cold water in the face. He could never consider Jun as his big brother, probably because it was too similar to the big brother role Itachi had before. However, he was his clan leader, and he trusted him. It was worth something. Sasuke could count on one hand the number of people he trusted.

“Alright. Some things I’m about to tell you are facts and others are just my guesses. Maybe some elements are not related to the massacre at all. But you want answers, so here’s what I can tell you.” Jun warned.

The young Uchiha leaned forward eagerly. Jun took a deep breath and looked Sasuke straight in the eyes.

“What do you know of my mother’s death?” He asked.

Sasuke didn’t know much. Jun’s mother had died the same day as the rest of the clan, but a few hours earlier. He didn’t know the details. So, Jun slowly began to tell him what had happened.

He explained how the clan had been isolated for years, with rumbling discontent on both sides. How the village blamed the Uchihas for their arrogance, and how the Uchihas blamed the village for its paranoia. How police violence had multiplied. How Fugaku put tremendous pressure on Itachi. How Shisui, torn between his love for the village and his loyalty to the clan, had committed suicide. And how it had traumatized Itachi, losing his only friend. The almost palpable tension and distrust on both sides were growing every day.

Then one day, his mother was killed by an overly aggressive police patrol, right in front of her parents. Four people died, and what remained of prestige to the Police collapsed in a few hours following this terrible blunder. The Sandaime had declared that the Police’s command would be removed from the Uchiha clan.

“I don’t have proof of what happened next. But I know your father felt humiliated and maybe cornered. I know the Sandaime wasn’t going to change his mind. And I know Itachi never really knew how to solve his problems other than by killing everyone.”

“Tell me anyway,” The boy said.

Jun rubbed his eyes. He suddenly looked tired and uncertain.

“I believe… I think it’s possible Fugaku wanted to have the Sandaime assassinated before he made his decision official and public.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Sasuke. The clan had been isolated for years. There was definitely an unhealthy atmosphere. Killing an opponent to prevent a political defeat was something the previous clan leader would have done. Maybe he was hoping the priorities of the village would change and that by the time we find a new Hokage he would have restored the honor of the clan. Maybe he was just furious and saw the Hokage as an enemy trying to usurp his power. It’s just my guess. The only reason I can think of for Itachi to take such a drastic measure… is that someone had cornered him and asked him to choose a side immediately.”

Sasuke remained motionless. He was barely breathing. He felt like he was falling as if the ground was giving way under his feet.

“Ordering a ninja to kill his own father isn’t the Sandaime style. But I can see Fugaku asking his son to get rid of the Sandaime for the clan’s benefit. Again. It’s just my hypothesis. Maybe Itachi was pushed too far… Or maybe he wanted to choose his own dishonor, between being a Hokage’s killer or a clan’s killer. I'm not sure. That’s all I have for you, Sasuke.”

The boy wanted to cover his ears. He regretted asking the question. He wanted to get this new information out of his head and erase it from his memory. It was too unfair, too cruel… his clan, his father… his brother… the Hokage.

“There is nothing else?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

Jun hesitated. He could have mentioned Danzo and also talked about the coup. But he decided against it. The boy was already in pain, and Danzo and the Uchihas were dead.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke.” He said in a low voice.

The boy didn’t say anything. What he just heard was even more tragic than a massacre out of nowhere. But it made sense to him. The Uchihas had been isolated. His father had been so grumpy and unhappy the whole time. And that fateful day… his mother had come to pick him up early at the Academy. She had whispered to him a member of the Police had dishonored the clan, but that his father was going to find a solution.

Sasuke wanted to feel sorry for Jun, who had lost his mother that night. But he was too furious. Someone should have done something. His clan didn’t have to die. Itachi should have asked for help. Why didn’t he just walk away, desert, and leave the clan alone? There had been so many other solutions.

“Why did they have to die? Itachi shouldn’t have killed them!”

His insides were boiling with rage, his head was spinning.

“I know. But Itachi didn’t know who to turn to for help. I doubt that option crossed his mind. He was desensitized to violence from a young age, and he was also isolated with no social life.”

“And why didn’t he kill me?” Sasuke shouted.

“Maybe he didn’t want to kill you. Maybe Itachi loved you in his own way.” Jun said softly.

Sasuke wanted to start yelling at him. He, too, had believed his brother loved him. And maybe it was even true, in a twisted way, and that was even more horrible. What would Itachi inflict that kind of horror on his brother if he loved him?

“Or maybe it has something to do with the Sharingan. But that’s one of the things I won’t tell you until you’ve awakened yours.” Jun added.

“I need to know!”

Jun shook his head. Sasuke let out an angry growl and walked away. He left the neighborhood without knowing where he was going, drowned in his anger and grief. He found an empty training ground and practiced his shuriken and kunai throwing until he was exhausted.

It was dark now. Sasuke was lying on his back in the damp grass as he stared blankly at the stars. He felt empty, angry, sad, furious, and betrayed. He heard nothing but the rustle of branches in the wind. He could almost pretend he was alone in the world, that there was nothing else in the universe the immensity of his pain. It was a conversation he had been expecting for five years.

Even if it hurt, he needed to know the truth. The pain was better than the feeling of weakness and insignificance that his ignorance and misunderstanding had engendered. Sasuke wanted to talk to someone but not to an Uchiha. But, the only people he was close to were Uchihas. He included Karin and Neji among them.

The massacre would always be part of him. He could never get away from it. Itachi was also part of him. Sasuke inhaled deeply. He wanted to talk about it, but the idea of opening up to someone suddenly seemed exhausting and pointless. He just wanted to stop being hurt and having nightmares about his parents.

What was he supposed to do with his life now? He had hoped that Jun’s story would give him an answer. But in the end, it hadn’t mattered to him. He should find meaning in his life on his own.

The young Uchiha suddenly heard the grass rustle. He swiftly turned to his left as he let a kunai fly. The projectile hit a small white snake and pinned it to a nearby tree. To Sasuke’s surprise, the snake was still alive, and it even talked to him.

“Not bad, Sasuke.”

“Who are you?” Sasuke asked as he got on his feet.

“I can give you power… A power that will allow you to surpass Itachi.”

“I don’t need your help for that.”

“But you do, Sasuke. You’re weak right now, but that can change… with my help.”

“Let’s see who is weak…” Sasuke replied as he decapitated the reptile with another kunai.

“You’re just a snake; don’t get cocky.”

“We’ll meet again, Sasuke.” The voice added as the snake withered.