《Am I the Evildoer?》Chapter 68 - Be With Me
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The princess stood beside Xue Yueliang, smiling at her as she allowed their gazes to meet, and Xue Yueliang beamed, grasping her hands, "You know, Your Highness, you had me worried; I thought you might never look at me this way."
The princess' features were soft and mesmerising to look at, she did not have the usual guardedness she had to her, and her demeanour was much more gentle. Xue Yueliang did not believe Yao Niang fully trusted her, but they could at least stand this close to each other without either of them feeling threatened.
"It's not every day a woman confesses to me," Yao Niang laughed, "I'm sorry for taking long to understand."
"I find that hard to believe," Xue Yueliang joked, "You're perfect in every way."
Looking at the adoration in Xue Yueliang's eyes, Yao Niang couldn't help but blush, she had already prepared herself for something like this, but she could feel her heart racing. She activated a talisman from her ring, and a dome surrounded the two of them, hiding them from any prying gazes that may fall upon them and protecting them from people's divine senses.
"What about me is perfect?" Yao Niang asked, wondering what about her got Xue Yueliang to fall for her.
"If you want to be praised, you can just say so." Xue Yueliang giggled, "You're strong, smart, you care about the people, and you are surprisingly selfless, to the point where I don't understand how."
Yao Niang averted her gaze, and Xue Yueliang smiled. "Princess, since you're here, I think you like me too. What about me, is it?"
"You're the first person to give me an unfiltered opinion, to know what I want and support me in it even if it meant the betrayal of my father. You gave me the confidence to do what's necessary."
Xue Yueliang looked at her and could feel what was coming next, "But?"
"But I wonder why? Is it really just because you like me?"
Xue Yueliang looked at Yao Niang, knowing if she did not give her a proper response, she would never trust her, and their relationship could not progress any further.
She thought deeply about the matter and decided to get as close to the truth as possible without alarming her, "Do you remember when you said we have the power to overcome our fate?"
Yao Niang nodded, wondering why Xue Yueliang had mentioned this, "You're my only chance of changing my fate. I feel the two of us, together, can achieve the impossible. "
"It doesn't matter how low the chances are or what others think if we're together."
"So your intentions are completely selfless?"
"As selfless as I can be, why?" Xue Yueliang then laughed as if having thought of something absurd, "Do you think I would use you to overthrow the kingdom?"
Looking at the princess's stare, she was shocked, "I don't care about this kingdom, or anyone in it, except you."
If I could have it my way, you would leave this godforsaken land.
"Besides, if I wanted a puppet, I would choose someone dumber and weaker. A puppet I can't control isn't worth using at all. You should have more faith in yourself."
Xue Yueliang really felt the thought to be absurd. There were much simpler ways of overtaking a kingdom, like becoming strong enough to crush it yourself. She didn't hate this country enough to make a whole convoluted plan to take it over; she didn't even care about it.
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"Someone told you I want to overthrow the Qinxia Kingdom?"
Yao Niang did not deny it, getting rid of the cold air between them, as her hand brushed past Xue Yueliang's ear, untying her veil, wanting to see more of her face. Xue Yueliang could feel the skin she touched redden, and she moved to calm her heart.
Don't be a love-sick fool. She reminded herself, but her heart didn't seem to want to listen to her.
"Is it okay to fall for someone you have so many doubts against?" She asked, not wanting to sound upset.
"I don't know if anything about this is okay," Yao Niang sighed, "I didn't even know this was an option until now."
Xue Yueliang felt her confusion and reassured her, "It doesn't matter if you don't know, we have the rest of our lives to figure this out, and as it happens to me right now, there are hundreds of years left."
The lifespan of cultivators at the Foundation Establishment Realm averaged about five hundred years, giving them plenty of time to figure this out if they needed it.
As long as Yao Niang didn't reject her, she knew she still had a chance and was not afraid to play the long game.
"You would wait for me until your old?" Yao Niang laughed, appreciating the sincerity in her eyes.
"Your Highness, I won't grow old; I'll be immortal."
"Immortal?"
"With my luck and genius, it shouldn't be too hard."
Yao Niang enjoyed the confident glint that appeared in her eyes; it was what she found most attractive in her.
If she had to pick her second favourite, Yao Niang's gaze landed on her slightly parted lips, and swept in by her laughter, Yao Niang leant down their breaths intermingling but stopped.
She doubted herself, unsure of what she was doing, but Xue Yueliang wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her in closer.
Yao Niang closed her eyes, and their lips met, sharing a sweet kiss. Unlike what she thought, the kiss felt so right, and she could feel the doubts she had melt away, allowing herself to melt into her embrace. They slowly parted from each other, both their faces red, and Xue Yueliang rested on her shoulder, burying her face as her breath softly tickled her neck.
"It seems I didn't have to wait long." She whispered into her ear, the ticklish feeling on her neck making her feel even more vulnerable. The moment that had passed felt so surreal to her, and she couldn't help but run her fingers through her hair, whispering back, "I couldn't keep you waiting."
They spent a few moments like this, enjoying each other's embrace, before Yao Niang spoke, "But if we're going to be a couple, wouldn't we need to be closer to each other?" She asked.
Xue Yueliang was stunned, realising she had never thought about this before; she had not expected the princess to reciprocate so early on, nor did she think she would be so open-minded. It would be a pity to leave so quickly, but she did not have much choice in the matter.
Yao Niang noticed her delay and lifted her head, looking directly into her eyes, "Become my lady-in-waiting that way, we can stay closer to each other."
Unlike the first time Yao Niang had asked her to stay, this was not a throwaway question; she really wanted her to say yes this time.
She ignored all the problems Xue Yueliang came up with; she was sure that with her by her side, they would not have issues that could not be solved.
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Xue Yueliang enjoyed the warmth radiating from her for a second longer before answering, "I'm sorry, but I promised my Master to take care of a few things."
Besides, I can't be a backdrop in someone else's life.
If she were to do that, then Lei Jian would be a much safer bet, and she doubted whatever the Qinxia Kingdom thought of her was good. She would bring a lot of trouble for her.
"Princess, you're a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman, and this kingdom, along with its king, refuses to see that. The whole system is rigged against you, so no matter what you do, you'll face more obstacles and have to work ten times harder than your brothers for the same results, though you're better than them in every regard. Why fight for a kingdom that doesn't want you? Let's leave together, explore the world together and live our lives how we want, without having to hide part of ourselves. Wouldn't that be better?" Xue Yueliang paused for a moment before adding, "We could always start our own kingdom when we're powerful or conquer another one. It would be fun."
Yao Niang smiled, imagining herself in a world where she didn't have to worry about what scheme was plotted against her or make plans upon plans against all contingencies. "It's a beautiful idea-" Xue Yueliang's heart dropped as she could feel the but coming, "-but I can't leave everything behind, the people who support me, my dream, and my mother, I just can't."
Xue Yueliang's eyes drooped as she stared at their hands, "I understand. I don't know what I was expecting."
Fuck being two ambitious women trying to start a relationship.
Xue Yueliang cursed in her mind, knowing full well how pathetic she currently felt. She never had many positive feelings for the Qinxia Kingdom and began to dislike it even more.
Recalling the scene the Silent Killer had shown her, she knew the biggest obstacle between them would be this country, but she did not have the right to force the princess to give up on it.
"Princess, why did you come here?"
Recalling that man, she felt the princess's motivation for coming here wasn't to confess her love and began to wonder what she knew. Yao Ninag was startled by the question and remembered why she had come here in a hurry, "You saw your death?" She whispered, feeling guilty, knowing she was the one who killed her in that vision.
"Yes, I have, but it's just an illusion technique," Xue Yueliang replied, "Were you worried?"
Yao Niang nodded, "Was I the one who-" She paused, so Xue Yueliang continued, "Killed me? Yeah, don't worry about it, though."
"How can you say that?" Yao Niang questioned, "The man claimed he could see the future; aren't you afraid I will kill you?" Xue Yueliang recalled the scene vividly, remembering the tears streaming from her face and the determination behind her pain, and she couldn't help but pity her a bit.
"What do you think I have to do for you to kill me?" Xue Yueliang asked, and Yao Niang did not know how to answer.
There was no way Yao Niang would make such an expression if all Xue Yueliang did was irk her, "I must have done something truly unforgivable, to the point where you had no choice."
The idea that Yao Niang might kill her was not known to her; she was trying to change their fate, but there was a chance she would fail, and she had accepted that.
"And, if there are anyone's hands I'd rather die by, then it's these hands."
Yao Niang looked at her in shock, unable to comprehend what was happening; was it possible she loved her so much she was willing to accept death? She could only talk for herself, and she knew that she could not react so nonchalantly to the possibility of her death.
"You're a marvel."
"That I am." Xue Yueliang smiled, "But I can help you solve the mystery if you want."
"How?" Yao Niang asked.
"If there's anything you're curious about, just ask."
"Really?"
"Yes, I wouldn't want you doubting me."
Yao Niang smiled, offering the same as they chatted for great lengths of time, asking each other about their childhood, journey to cultivation, and their final goals.
"We both didn't have it easy, huh," Xue Yueliang commented.
Hearing more about Yao Niang's life. Within the large walls of the castle and the hundreds that lived there, Xue Yueliang did not know it was possible for someone to be so alone.
"I can't believe you used to have a good relationship with Mao Ya; he's garbage." She commented, scrunching her nose in displeasure.
"He wasn't always like that; he wasn't a bad elder brother."
"Not until he saw you as a threat," Xue Yueliang added, "I hate people like that the most. I'm a bad sibling, and that's it; why pretend you care and support someone you don't."
"Hey, you saved her life. My siblings would gladly watch me die." Yao Niang laughed, not allowing her to talk badly about herself. Thinking about it, Xue Yueliang thought she wasn't too bad; the only good sibling pair she knew was Jiu Liu and Jiu Ling.
Honestly, this world is so messed up if I'm considered doing okay.
"Familial relationships are much simpler between mortals."
"Who knows?" Xue Yueliang laughed, stretching on the ground, "I'm just glad I'm not one."
Yao Niang took out a stray leave from her hair, thinking about her goals, and asked: "I know I'm the princess, but I feel like you have so much on your shoulders."
Xue Yueliang bitterly smiled; she knew she was prying but couldn't blame her. However, she couldn't be honest; although she wanted to trust her eventually, there was no need for her to share about her reincarnation, "When you have every aspect of your life controlled for so long, you want to be untouchable. I want to reach the peak of this world because then nothing can touch nor harm me, and I will be free to live as I want."
This was as close to the truth as she could get.
"You can achieve the same thing without being the most powerful there is."
Xue Yueliang shook her head, "Then people more powerful than me can control me; I'll still be mediocre in their eyes, and I can't accept that."
Yao Niang marvelled at how accurate a prophecy could be; even the way she described herself closely matched what the scholars had said, "If it's you, I'm sure you can achieve anything."
For some reason, Xue Yueliang felt Yao Niang truly believed that they did not feel like empty words of encouragement when she said it.
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