《Tutu (an apocalyptic story)》Chapter 79: Mercenary (8)

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In one of the many secondary plazas spread across the settlement, in which Hank had forbidden the placement of tents – as he hoped to eventually construct public buildings in those areas in the near future, like a market, a church, a bank and the like – the locals had placed an advertisement board.

More specifically, a missing persons notice board…

As Danny drew near his goal, he was soon faced with the huge and extensive walls formed by rows and more rows of bulletin boards placed side by side, filled to the brim with missing people posters, pictures and notices posted there.

What had started as a single object on which a few desperate parents, brothers, sisters and sons, publicized their woes and fears in the hopes to maybe, just maybe, have their prayers answered and be reunited with their loved ones, soon turned into a monument to despair as new rows of boards kept cropping up to accommodate the sheer amount of grief existing inside this single budding town.

Danny didn’t know about it, but more than once Hank had to remove the tents surrounding the area to make more space in order to accommodate the ever growing need for more boards, as it appeared that there was simply never enough space in those to house all the posters from the growing number of residents that sought hope wherever they could.

By now, the area covered by the plaza was even bigger than the main one in which stood the administration center of the camp. A true testament to the tragedy and despair that was brought down on all those people’s heads by the Apocalypse.

That said, initially, it wasn’t Hank’s intention to use the area for that purpose when he planned the camp’s development and construction in the earlier days, but its role had already been cemented and widely accepted by the populace.

Chances are that, if you got yourself lost in between the seas of tents that crowded the settlement and asked anyone how to get to ‘Missing People Plaza’, they would be able to give you directions even if, theoretically, that was not its formal name. Such was the place’s notoriety for the people living there… or infamy, depending on who you asked.

As soon as he got close enough, Danny was immediately swarmed by the people hanging around the place and bombarded with questions about their relatives in sequence.

By now, every single person who remained there - waiting or wandering among the unending aisles of misfortune in between the rows of notice boards - already knew each other by face if not by name. So, when they saw an unfamiliar stranger like Danny approaching, a glimmer of hope ignited in the eyes of many as they rushed him in search for answers.

“Did you see my son?! He is this tall, twelve years old, has brown hair and blue eyes. Please, did you see him anywhere?!” A desperate woman screamed.

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“Have you seen my daughter? Here, I have a picture of her! Take a look please!” A man asked frantically while showing Danny a photograph.

“Please sir, have you seen this old man anywhere? He is my father and he was supposed to meet me here. Have you seen him nearby?!” The man said, thrusting a poster towards his face.

Danny had a hard time untangling himself from those destitute people. He wasn’t comfortable with their proximity and their grasping hands, but at the same time he wasn’t angry at them, as he could understand their suffering.

He too had lost a loved one…

Therefore, despite his rational mind telling him that talking to those people and answering their questions was a waste of time, he still took his time to speak with the one who had mobbed him at least.

In the end, he couldn’t help anyone, sadly.

He did recognize a woman in one of the photos though. She was already dead when Danny found her and he himself had smashed her head in to take the crystal that lied inside.

It wasn’t easy delivering the sad news to the wallowing mother, but he did it anyway. He felt that knowing was better than not knowing and that maybe, with enough time, she would learn to live while carrying the grief.

Seeing the pictures that the woman had showed him of a smiling young and beautiful woman in the prime of her life, of a loved daughter, and getting to know this side of her made him somewhat uncomfortable and even guilty.

His own actions of mauling zombies left and right were harder to swallow once he started seeing the undead as more than dangerous walking treasure troves. As more than simply a thing, but instead, a shell of a former person who had loved ones and people who cared about him or her once upon a time, and that still had memories attached to it…

Even so, he took comfort in the fact that he knew, from Tutu’s revelations, that the body of those shambling zombies was truly and utterly dead, and that there was no coming back for those people.

It wasn’t a disease that could be reversed or a condition to be fixed, so those people were really gone. He had no delusions about it… spiritual, soul and metaphysical concerns aside, that is.

In any case, how he felt about what he had been doing, about cracking zombies’ skulls left and right, did not matter in the end, even with this newfound perspective. It simply had to be done. There was no two ways about it.

For himself, his future, and even to give mankind a fighting chance, he had to do it and has to keep doing it. So, without a shred of doubt or hesitation, he will.

To give mankind a fighting chance? Really? It would not be strange for one to think like that, remaining skeptical about the purpose and merits of Danny’s actions. After all, he had chosen to keep the knowledge of the soul gems for himself at the moment.

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Wasn’t that contradictory with helping mankind?

Though one could say that he was taking a more selfish approach to the problem by refusing to share his knowledge with others for the moment, it did not change the fact that, ultimately, that information was bound to benefit others.

It was never Danny’s intention to keep living such a solitary life forever. After all, no man is an island, as the saying goes.

Therefore, as long as Danny kept breathing, there would come the time that others would benefit from his knowledge and protection.

At the moment he was just too weak and could not worry or care for anyone but himself. However, as he got stronger and stronger and learned more and more from Tutu, that was bound to change.

Eventually, it would come a time that his own power would be enough not only to shield himself from the dangers of this new world, but also to invite others under its safeguarding umbrella.

And as that shield grew bigger and bigger, it would form a sheltering dome that could potentially cover many, many, more.

One often confuses the dichotomy between opposing sides as if they were absolutes, incapable of blending together. Black and white, darkness and light.

What about the gray in-between then? What about the shadows surviving at the fringe of the banishing light and absolute darkness?

In order for one to act altruistically, does it mean that there can be no selfishness and vice-versa? In other words, by taking a selfish road, does it mean that there was no more room for altruistic intentions in Danny’s heart and actions?

Of course not!

Just because he wasn’t doing everything possible to help everyone around him, that did not mean that he did not care at all. It simply meant that, just like any other human, Danny could be both selfish and altruistic, even if not in equal measures.

He did not think himself as a saint or even a good person, nor did he strive to become one – even if he admired people like that –, as he knew that in times of distress, good people were often the first ones to go. However, that did not equate to him being a scumbag or a psychopath either.

Danny had his own moral standards and truths he lived by, and so long as he remained faithful to them and faithful to his mother teachings, he did not really care if someone though less of him.

Besides, who could really blame him for his selfishness, really?

One had to remember that Danny only came across such vital information due to years of physical and mental torture and from enduring nightly assaults from a sadistic demon. One whom still hung around Danny’s shoulder to this very day.

Would it be fair for anyone to demand for Danny to simply hand over his sole gain from all that torment just like that? Would it be just?

Who can say for sure?

In any case, leaving philosophical questions and Danny’s goals aside, there wasn’t much else he could do for those people that approached him other than answer their questions to the best of his abilities.

Therefore, after going over each and every one of their questions, Danny managed to untangle himself from the mass of people, leaving behind a dejected crowd and a single tearful kneeling woman, who had received the devastating news of the loss of her daughter.

Today, there would be one less posting in Missing People Plaza as the dreadful days of waiting and hoping had come to an end for that mother, but Danny had no doubt that, very soon, others would come to take its place.

As soon as he neared the first rows of notice boards, Danny started to attentively examine them, searching for a familiar face.

If he was in Lara’s father shoes and for some reason got himself stuck at this camp with no way to go back to reunite with his daughter, what would he do?

Danny felt that there was a very good chance that the man would look for different routes to reconnect with his daughter, given that so much time had already passed from the agreed upon date for their reunion.

Alternative routes such as looking for anyone who might have seen her, that is. At least, that was what Danny would do if he was in the man’s shoes.

After all, they could not know that Lara was still anxiously waiting for them at the farm. She could very well had left the place in search for them by now, after so much time had passed without any news.

In those kinds of situations, it was hard to know what was the right course of action,

Even if, normally, it was best to remain in one place to increase your chances to reunite with someone in case they got lost and you had no way to contact them, when you added zombies and world-wide chaos to the formula, the situation got a little bit more complex.

Given that, it was entirely possible and even reasonable for Lara to go out looking for them, even if, in reality, she had not.

Therefore, Danny felt that there was a good chance that he might find a hint about Lara’s family among the many postings there.

Lara had also given him many photographs of her family members before he left the farm, so if there was anything among the numerous posters with her or her family’s face in it, Danny was sure to find it.

At least, that was his current plan.

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