"This is bad," Galen said when they had gone. "I think I might actually be gaining some respect for Kemmy. And losing some for you," he added to Taryn, frowning.

"What did I do?" Taryn asked.

"You want to pit yourself against an army of street thugs – without the Guard! Have you lost your complete mind or have you started to believe your own legends? You're not actually a Weapon Slayer."

"I know that."

"A little bit of blood and you turn to jelly!"

"It won't come to that," Taryn insisted. "I'll give the Guard some time to deal with them. A month, I think." As much as she wanted to make an end of Kol's castoff army, she couldn't give up the real chance she had to use them to get to the man himself.

"So they thin the ranks and you emerge the hero," Galen said.

"Something like that." If this leg of Kol's operation had begun months ago, then his selection of Pine Keep had nothing to do with Taryn or her watches. It was either completely random or incredibly specific. And given everything else he was up to; testing his new drugs, hunting down the Impostors, building an army of mutants; Taryn had to assume that he had a specific purpose. So if all of it was tied to a bid for the Lady's Day assault on the Seat, she couldn't risk her chance to stop it in a rush to avenge her friends. A month was plenty of time for her message to reach the Ax Man and make its way back to Kol.

"Well, I hope you can deliver."

"Better to hope I don't have to." She could buy Dash's protection and make deals for the safety of her friends, but it wouldn't stop the daily attacks. If the Guard were able to stop them, then she wouldn't have to think about how many more people would be hurt before she gathered enough evidence to motivate the King to action against Kol.

Rai frowned at Taryn's words. "I'm going to bed," she said.

"Wait," Taryn said. She didn't want to leave things with Rai as they were. Her tenuous place with Vares coupled with her tumultuous relationship with Kem felt like a cold grip of despair getting ready to wrap itself all around her. If she didn't find a way to make things right with Rai, it would begin to squeeze and she would have no strength to fight it, no warmth to ward it off.

Then Galen gave her a subtle shake of his head and she remembered his words, and her own fears. "Good night," she said instead.

"Hmm." Rai whipped her gaze away. "Gale, do you think you'll have any thing to spare for Dash? It looks like he'll be staying a while and we gave up all of Kem's old clothes ages ago."

Galen nodded. "I could bring some by the bakery tomorrow, if you're feeling up to it. You know, everyone will understand if you think you pushed yourself to get back into it too soon."

"I can't stay home all day," Rai said. "I'd go insane."

Galen grinned. "I'll keep you company. We'll be insane together."

Rai laughed and pulled his face towards hers.

Taryn turned to leave. She needed to be alone, to think about something other than the seemingly impossible task of getting back into Rai's good graces. Then Kem was there, standing in the doorway, and she was trapped.

"Okay. That's enough, you two," he said. "You've had more than enough time alone for the day."

"We spent all that time making dinner," Rai said.

"That was your choice," Kem said. "If I have to see this again tonight, he's going home."

"Fine." Rai pried herself from Galen's arms. "I have some words for you, anyways."

Kem's shoulders sagged as he heaved a deep sigh. "I know I was stupid. I know it was reckless and I put us all in danger and I am really and truly sorry that you were hurt by all of this. I had no idea things would blow back the way they did."

Rai shook her head. "All of that is over and done with."

"You aren't angry with me?" Kem asked.

"I'm glad you're still in one piece," Rai said. "You could have been seriously hurt, or worse, over this. I'm relieved that you weren't. No. What does worry me is this eagerness to continue dealing with these people. Do you really think its wise to provoke them?"

"They'll never touch you again," Kem said, his jaw set hard around the words.

"Between the three of us," Galen put in, "they'll be hard pressed to ever get near you again."

"I'm not worried about myself." Rai took Kem's hands in her own. "I'm worried about you."

Kem's expression softened as he looked down at her. "Taryn says I'll be fine."

"And he will be," Taryn said.

"Yes, well, Taryn says a lot of things that she believes to be true. But she doesn't know everything," Rai said. "If its so safe, why doesn't she go herself?"

"That's not how the game is played," Taryn said. "If I go myself –"

"This isn't a game! This is my brother's life."

The look Rai gave her was angry full of such distrust. It was the same look she received from the LAAMP Administrators and Taryn felt herself withering beneath it. That look crushed the last speck of hope Taryn had of making things right with Rai and she felt the turmoil stirring again. If Rai could honesty believe that she would ever leave Kem's life to chance, she would never believe anything Taryn ever said.

Kem's gaze shifted between the two of them. "Did something happen?"

Rai turned to him. "I don't want to see you hurt. If you don't think this is safe, I don't want you to feel pressured into doing it – no matter who's asking."

"Of course I'm scared," Kem said. "But I trust Taryn. I know she doesn't want to see me hurt any more than you do.

"No one is asking me," Kem said gently. "I volunteered because this could help Dash. It could give us what we need to put an end to these guys." He cupped her face and touched the puckered scabs on her cheek. "If this is all I can do to help that, then I want to do it. Even if it's not safe."

Rai wrapped him in a hug and squeezed tight. "Don't you dare die on me, Memen."

"I won't make any promises," Kem said. "But I'll try."

Rai kissed his cheek.

"Too far," he said, pulling away in disgust. "After what I just saw, you'll need to rinse a few times before I'll allow those things to touch me again."

Kem tried and failed to resist as Rai planted two more kisses on his face before she finally released him and turned to Galen. "I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"

"Absolutely," he said.

"No," Kem said. "No one else is falling asleep until we clear out everything we left up there."

"It was your idea to go up there tonight," Galen said. "You insisted on doing it all yourself."

"But that was only to hide Dash," Kem said.

Galen shrugged. "Doesn't change what you said. I'll join you as soon as I've finished up here," he added to Rai. "It should only take a few minutes."

"Don't take too long."

"Are you really going to make me do all of this on my own?" Kem asked when she'd gone.

"What's so confusing about this?" Galen asked. "You want me to do chores, she wants me to... not. Do I need to spell it out for you?"

Kem rumbled a throaty groan and left with his head hanging low.

Taryn thought she should help him. She wanted to check on Hunter, anyways. His particular brand of affection would be a welcomed end to an otherwise horrible day. Maybe she could find a mind to explore with him. Maybe that would make her feel better. She could manage a few minutes of monotonous chores with Kem for that. As long as he didn't speak to her, or smile at her. Or otherwise exist anywhere within her abilities to perceive him.

Stop lying to yourself, she told herself. If she was serious about not becoming emotional then she couldn't trust herself to be alone with Kem.

"Wait," Galen said. "Can we finish our talk? We got a little off course earlier and I still have a few questions."

"I don't want to answer any more of your questions," Taryn said. All she wanted was to cuddle with Hunter and solve some simple problems. She wanted to go to sleep and wake up in a different day and hope that it turned out better than this one. "Rai hates me because of your questions."

"The Lovely Rai doesn't hate," Galen said. "And she certainly doesn't hate you. She just needs time to get used to this new understanding. Especially coming from you."

"This isn't a new understanding. She's always known that I was faithless."

"Listen, I'll never understand why you two are friends. I'll never understand why you mean so much to her, but you do. You're so fundamentally opposed to one another in your core beliefs but she always thought that you were simply confused. Now she has to come to grips with the fact that she might be the confused one. Please, try to understand how difficult this must be for her."

Taryn tried to imagine what Rai must be feeling. All she related to was her dealings with the LAAMP; the arguments, the schemes, the assassination attempts. They hated her, but there had never been a time when they hadn't. She and Rai were friends; Taryn couldn't imagine anything that could cause that to shift. She thought of George, suddenly looking at her the way the LAAMP Administrators did. But she couldn't imagine anything she could say or do to make him turn against her like that. She thought of Vares, of the months he spent away while she languished alone with the LAAMP. She thought she had driven him away, that she overstepped too many times and he was leaving her alone to the LAAMP and their whims. She'd thought he'd hated her then and all she wanted to do was speak to him. To assure herself of the truth. She didn't understand why Rai was pushing her away. "Do you think we'll ever be friends again?"

"I think you both want to," Galen said. "That's a good place to start. The two of you will have to talk about this but its going to take time. She'll find you when she's ready. Can we talk about my thing now?"

Of all the things, of all the people, Taryn never thought that she could lose Rai's trust by telling her the truth. It was a depressing thought, one she didn't want to linger on. "What do you want to ask me?"

"Your sympathy for mutants, it seem like more than something you believe. This is very real to you."

"I don't like being lied to," Taryn said. "People hear of the faith war between Keepers and Lorrics, of the feud between Lothors and Marons and they think that's the entire truth. But there is a whole world out there, full of mutants who are hurting; alone and afraid." She thought she'd understood before. But now that she was the one being shunned and rejected, her own words carried a sting she couldn't escape. Such a small thing, yet it had so thoroughly ravish her life, her peace. She was desperate to be free of it. And all the more assured in her desire to see other mutants freed. "They are threatened by the very law that's supposed to protect them. All because of these lies. It's not right."

"Well, you've done a pretty convincing job of dismantling the Lorric faiths," Galen said. "I'll be sure to conduct my own research into the matter."

"You should," Taryn said. "And I haven't heard a question yet, so..."

"Right. So..." Galen rubbed his hands together. "My question is: Have you met one?"

"Met one what?"

"The kind of mutant you talk about," he said. "A human one."

"Every mutant is human. Just as human as the crime lord, or street thug, or petty thief. Why are you asking me this?" Taryn added curtly. Because now she knew how to repair this rift with Rai and this confusion with Kem. It was the same mission she'd always had. They'd accept the truth more easily if Vares presented it to them; if he proved it to them. And she could get him to do that by giving him what he needed to deal with the King of the Lane. "What do you really want?"

"I want to meet one," he said. "Is that something you can arrange?"

Hope soared through Taryn's heart. She'd finally done it! She'd finally convinced Galen to depart with the Lorric lies and embrace the real truth.

Wait, she told herself. This was Galen. He was the last one she thought would ever join her or be swayed by her 'perverse' doctrine. Rai refused to talk to her because of it. Kem never had a chance to hear it. She couldn't accept that Galen would be the first one to recognize the truth.

Taryn studied him. It didn't seem as if he were mocking her. "Why?"

"If you're right, then there are centuries of stories being untold. Stories people need to know about more than Gyala and Leo or Vidlan's uprising – more than politics and myth. It could make for a good senior thesis if I told them. But I'd need to see it for myself. I can't just take your word for it. So, can you do that? Can you get me in a room with a mutant so I can ask some questions and hear a different side of things?"

Taryn reminded herself to temper her excitement. He wasn't mocking her, but he wasn't exactly telling her the truth either. "In all the years I've been doing this, I've become fairly proficient at judging when people are lying to me. Tell me what this is really about, or this conversation is over."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He stepped into the hall and peered into the sitting room, where Andon and his brothers were still sound asleep. Still, he whispered when he rejoined her.

"Alright, listen," he said. "I spoke to Andon, like you suggested. It turns out he's been... One of them has been communing with him. And my brothers. It been happening for months."

Taryn schooled her features so she wouldn't betray the panic she felt. "Are you sure? They could be lying."

"Kaz would never lie to me," Galen said. "He thinks its Ady. They all do. But it can't be. I watched him leave this city. He can't come back. I don't know who this new Beast is but I need to find him. Can you help me find him?"

Taryn didn't like the way he paced, with his face scrunched in a deep frown, his hands balled into fists at his sides. "What would you do if I did?"

"I just need to talk to him," Galen said. "I want to understand. They say he's never hurt them. He stops them from doing stupid things. He warned them about the pilgrimage last week. He told them to wait for me in that park. He wouldn't have done that if he wanted to hurt them, right? What use could a mutant have for a couple of nine-year-old boys? No. He's been keeping an eye on them and I'm grateful for that. But I have no idea what it means." He lifted his gaze to her, pleading. "You said you help mutants in the city. I thought maybe this was someone you helped before. Or someone you work with."

"I don't work with other mutants," Taryn said. "And I don't allow mutants to stay in the city. No matter how noble their behavior."

"So this is someone you don't know about?" Galen asked. "Then you need to find him and figure out what he's after. I want to help. I want to be there when you speak to him."

"Slow down," Taryn told him. "What kind of questions do you want to ask?"

"I want to know who he is. What he wants with Andon and my brothers. What he's telling them. I want to know if he knows Ady? Did Ady send him? Oh gods, what if Ady sent him? What if he's come to take Andon? What if he's lying?"

"Calm down," Taryn said.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I can't–" Galen stopped himself and looked at his tightly closed fists. Slowly, he opened his hands and breathed. When he raised his eyes to her again they were tired chocolate discs on an underbaked face. "I'm sorry I yelled. I'm really not upset with you. I just need to keep them safe. That's all I want. To keep them alive long enough to for them to grow up and become their own problems. This... person had unfettered access to their minds. He could tell them anything and they'd believe it. Lead them anywhere, and they would follow. How am I supposed to protect them from that?"

Taryn knew it was her fault he was so worried. She wished she could tell him that he didn't have to be. "Make a list of all your questions," she said instead. "I'll track this mutant down and see if they're willing to share their story with you."

Galen gaped at her. "Willing? If he's lying to them to lead them into some sort of trap, they won't be willing. I want you find him and make him answer."

"The LAAMP doesn't give mutants a choice in how they live their lives. I do."

"What if he doesn't want to?"

"Then it'll be his choice. Just as it'll be your choice whether or not to believe what he tells you. Give me a list and I'll make your offer. I can't promise any thing more than that."

"Fine," he said through his teeth. "I'll speak to the boys again and learn all I can about their dealings with him. I can have a list for you in a few days. How soon can you find him?"

"Four weeks," Taryn said. When she turned sixteen and her immunity expired he could ask all the questions he wanted. And she could tell him the truth.

Galen shook his head. "If we wait for the Guard to find him first, they might kill him. I don't know how Andon would take that."

"You say this mutant has been dealing with your brothers for months. In all that time, he's never been reported, and the Guard has never been alerted to his presence. He should be able to avoid their attentions a little while longer."

"How will you even find him, then?"

"Well, it will be difficult to identify him if no one in his life suspects what he is. But he's taken an interest in your family. With everything that's happening in Pine Keep right now, it could only be a matter of time until he breaks form. Then I'll have him."

"Oh gods, you don't think he's one of them, do you? Maybe he's trying to recruit them into his army?"

"Street thugs tend to prey on vulnerable people who don't have anyone else to care about them; people with no one to protect them. Andon and your brothers have that in spades."

Galen nodded absently, his hands resting on his hips. "And you're sure you'll be able to find him?"

Taryn shrugged. "It's what I do."

Galen sighed. "So in the meantime, we just..."

"We wait," Taryn said. "I'm sorry I can't be of more help."

"You've helped plenty," he said. "If you're right about everything else, chances are I have nothing to worry about. If he hasn't caused any trouble before, he won't start now. I just wish I knew what this was all about." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Thank you."

Taryn went to take Dash's seat at the table. Now, with everyone else busy, was as good a time as any to get some work done. He searched the pantry before he left, whistling to himself while he balanced a couple of pears in one hand and a jar of creme in the other. "Will you be alright in here?" he asked from the doorway.

Taryn wasn't sure. She wanted Hunter, but she would have to wait for Kem to finish. She wanted Rai to be her friend again but she had to wait for that too. In the meantime, she would be alone with her thoughts. Of all the things that had happened in the last couple of days, weeks, months. Of what she would have to do about it. She wasn't sure that was a safe place to be.

Galen sat across from her.

"Rai's waiting for you," she reminded him. And Taryn didn't want to be blamed for ruining something else that Rai loved.

"I know. But I'm afraid that if I go, all I'll be able to think about is you sitting here alone, falling apart all over again with no one around to stop it."

"I won't fall apart." Even to her own ears it sounded like a lie. "I have too much to do; finding your mysterious mutant, planning my meeting with the Ax Man, setting traps for all of them. I don't have time to fall apart." Taryn thought she sounded much more convincing that time. "You should go. Tell Rai... Tell her I'm – "

"No. You can't leave."

"I'm only here for her sake. If she doesn't want –"

"Gaahgh! Listen to me. You agreed to help me. So, to return the favor, I will help you with this. I will tell you the secret to winning Rai's heart. But, you have to agree that you won't slink away in the night or spend all night moping in here."

Taryn leaned forward. "You know how to get her to see reason?"

"No. That will never happen. But if you want to win the Lovely Rai's favor, you need to fix this thing between you and Kem. I know it sounds strange," he added, raising a hand to cut off her response. "But hear me out. I think you're somewhat familiar with my less than stellar history with the uglier twin."

"You mean the fact that you tormented him throughout the entirety of your childhood?"

"Ady and I, yes," Galen said. "He always made it so easy with his little marshal routine. He was always helping people; teachers, students, lost old ladies. He wanted everyone to like him. It was sickening."

Taryn tried not to smile as she imagined a younger Kem, his sweet little face smiling as he reached out to help a random schoolmate back to his feet after chasing his bullies away. "And this made you want to pick on him?"

"We never would have touched the kid. His father was a Marshal. His mother owned the bakery across the street from my parents' shop. I would have never heard the end of it if I'd ever started anything with him. But he was always getting in our way. When he finally shipped off to the Academy, we were so relieved. He'd become the bane of some county crook's existence and we'd probably never see him again."

"Kem never told me that he trained at a military academy. Why didn't he finish?"

"I don't know," Galen said. "First Marshal Kebar died soon after Kem left. He came home for the funeral and never went back. I guess he got spooked. My point is, in that last year before we all graduated, when all the counselors were after us to start looking for apprenticeships or degree programs, Ady and I took our... frustrations a little too far. Kem was stuck in a cast for three months and they weren't sure he'd ever walk again. Everyone was livid. They yelled at us, they threatened us, they marked our every move for a year. But Rai, she made us cupcakes. We didn't think anything of it. She was the only one who wasn't yelling at us and every day brought an exciting new flavor. It was nice. Until, after a week, she told us that they'd been poisoned."

"That's not true," Taryn scoffed. "Rai would never poison food."

"We didn't know that at the time. We hardly knew her at all, except that she was his sister. She showed us the poison. Now that I know better, I think it was probably one of her extracts. But she told us that we'd be dead at the end of the month and we believed her. Since she'd given us seven doses, she said we'd need seven doses of the antidote. She said she would only give them to us if we promised never to touch the little marshal again. But she never told us if she was giving us the curing cupcake or more of the killing kind. So this went on for a while.

"Ady figured out her game before I did. But we never touched him again. Even after he recovered and stared interfering again. We just... ran away. The point is, she never gave me any thought until I nearly ruined her brother."

Taryn doubted that. She'd heard the other side of this story. It made no mention of Kem's injury or poisoned cupcakes, and it started a lot further back.

"You and Kem were always happy together. That's one thing that I know the Lovely Rai always loved about you."

"Is this some sort of matchmaking scheme?" Taryn asked. "Because you're terrible at it."

"Maybe. But if you can fix this thing with Kem, like you clearly want to, it'll go a long way in reminding the Lovely Rai that you don't actually ruin everything. Two stones, and all."

Taryn shook her head. "What I want doesn't matter."

Galen frowned at her. "Who told you that?"

Taryn was thrown by his question. She couldn't recall ever hearing it said. It was simply the truth. If it didn't benefit the monarchy, if it didn't buy the LAAMP a few more Knights or keep Vares's secrets safe from the world, Taryn wouldn't have Hunter. She wouldn't be able to leave the palace. She probably wouldn't even be alive. What she wanted had never mattered. Even now, with the expiration of her immunity rapidly approaching, marking the end of the LAAMP's contract for the Genesis serum, none of them seemed interested in finding out what she wanted. As long as they could find a way to kill her on the streets of Pine Keep, what she wanted didn't matter to them.

"I'm serious," Galen said. "I'm having a very hard time trying to imagine the kind of person it would take to keep you on a leash."

Because it was not a person. Her master was a sheet of paper. It had a royal stamp. It lived in a green binder. And it dictated every detail of her life.

"Even perverse people deserve to be happy," he said, his voice calm and gentle. "You know that, right? You deserve to be happy, Taryn."

Except that sheet of paper didn't mention happiness. It didn't care what she wanted any more than her prison wardens did. Only what it wanted from her. Only what they wanted of her. Never anything for her. But what was so wrong with wanting something for herself?

Galen leaned forward. "Rai says you haven't told her about this thing between you and Kem. And he isn't sharing."

"I can't – "

"I'm not asking," he said, his hands up. "But Rai was right. Whatever it is, it won't get better if you keep it bottled up inside. I'll only get worse."

Taryn was having a hard time imagining how things could be better if she shared the truth of herself with Kem. Look at how twisted things had become with Rai! If Kem ever lost faith in her like that, if he ever looked at her with the same fear and disgust and hatred as the LAAMP Administrators, it would crush her. "What if it hurts?" she asked quietly.

"If love doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right," Galen said.

"That doesn't seem true for you and Rai."

"Sure, now. But it was true six years ago. Hells, it was true last year. And I'm fairly certain it'll be true again in a little while. Before Rai got a hold of me, I was speeding down a path to a life of crime and pain. Now, I'm about to enter my senior year at University studying literature. I think in prose. I recite poetry on demand. I work a job I hate just to be able to afford a silver band by the time I graduate. All for her."

"And this hurts you?"

"It's a healthy hurt. I love my life now and the future that we're trying to make together. But I didn't want it six years ago. I didn't know what I wanted six years ago. I had to give up a lot of things in order to get here. That's the hurt; the growing pains of becoming something better than you were, of becoming your best. I hated who I was back then. But it was comfortable and familiar and all that I knew to be. Rai helped me want to be different. I wanted to be better for her and I love that she even believes that I can. It hurt to let all of that stuff go, the person that I used to be. But it was hurting me so much more to keep it. And what I got in return, what I have now, it's so much better."

"Better." Taryn wanted so badly to be better; to do better, to feel better. But was it even a real option for her?

"Think about it," Galen said, rising. "Or sleep on it. I don't think you'll fall apart if you're sleeping and I'll feel better knowing I don't have to worry about you until the morning. Just don't leave, okay? We can think of another way to help you tomorrow."

"You don't need to worry about me," Taryn said. "I'll be fine."

Galen studied her a moment. "Of course you will be." He gathered his fruit and his creme and left Taryn alone with her thoughts.

It's what she wanted. And she still didn't feel better.

She tried to focus on the night's mission. Dash didn't know enough for her to safely build her catalogue in his mind. None of the seven flames she'd identified as Rai's potential attackers seemed viable either. It didn't seem like any one she suspected of being a part of Kol's castoff army knew too much about the organization. If what she'd observed of their activities earlier was any indication, that may be the point. Each member only knew what they needed to know to fulfill the mission they were assigned. They were only exposed to a small handful of others, with only the Ax Man being aware of who all the pieces were, and how they moved through the city. His was the only mind she could use to store her investigation – if she could focus enough to find him. But Galen's words kept ringing in her mind.

Even perverse people deserved to be happy.

Wasn't that the entire argument of her life? Even mutants deserved justice, and peace, and happiness. They deserved to be able to feed their families without having to resort to theft. If Denan wanted to be a blacksmith, why should he be hindered? Because of what ran through his veins? How was she any different? She'd always thought that she'd had the better deal because she didn't have to take inhibitors. She didn't have to register and endure rejection and persecution from strangers. Her life was better than most other mutant lives.

But it wasn't better than a middling life.

She thought Denan should be free to pursue the things that made him happy. Why not her? Her entire life was a fight against injustice around her; in the city, in the palace, throughout the kingdom. Why not fight against it in her own life?

Because she could lose those freedoms that she did enjoy.

No. She was the King's unofficial Twin Swords and the Weapon Slayer. The Perversity of Pine Keep. Guardian to some. The Dark One to others. All different identities from the different choices she'd made. Choices outside of that sheet of paper that tried to tell her who she was. Because that sheet of paper didn't know who she was. Taryn knew who she was. She was a Sil-Tain. She was her own master. She decided what that meant. She decided how she lived her life. And she wanted...

Taryn rose.

Vares was the one who insisted on exiling anyone who learned more about her than they should. More than he thought they should. Taryn had never wanted that. She'd never wanted to live her life in secret.

She walked out of the house.

The LAAMP Administrators were the ones who perpetuated the belief that mutants were liars who hurt the people they claimed to care for. Incapable of love or being loved. Taryn didn't have to behave as if it was the truth.

She lost her nerve at the base of the stone stairs.

Because the fear was still there, and it was all her own. She was the one who would hurt if he rejected her. If he hated her because of what ran through her veins.

But that wasn't all that she was. She was a woodworker and he loved her little gifts. She was a martial artist and he enjoyed sparring with her. She loved that he knew how to make her laugh and she loved to lose herself in the promise in his eyes when he smiled at her. If she never told him, if she never allowed him to truly know her, then how could he ever truly love her?

And what if he didn't?

Well, then she'd know. She'd finally find out what was on the other side of those mischievous smiles and she would be better for it.

Taryn's heart beat wildly in her chest as she climbed the stairs.

She found him laying on his back, staring up at the stars. One hand rested under his head, the other stroked absently at Hunter who kneaded at his chest.

"Kem."

Her voice cracked. It startled him. Hunter leapt off his chest as Kem leapt to his feet.

Hunter crossed the space between them and walked between Taryn's feet, rubbing his head against the legs of her boots. When she knelt to pick him up, he batted her hand away and sniffed at her hovering fingers.

"Taryn," Kem said. "Sorry, I was... How long have you been standing there?"

She cleared her throat. "Not long."

Hunter lost interest in her and limped away to explore the stairs. He must have liked what he smelled there because he followed them down.

"Don't go too far," she called after him.

"You didn't have to come up here to help me," Kem said. "I'd given up on getting this all down tonight."

"We should talk," Taryn said. Then realized that she didn't know what to say.

"Oh, right," he said. "We need to rehearse your message now since we won't have much time tomorrow. "

"Um... yeah..." She felt like a fool. Like a selfish, insensitive, and clueless idiot. He thought he was going to be risking his life tomorrow, because she'd asked him to. Of course that was all he could think about.

"I was thinking, if we use the five gold to pay the first messenger who comes back, then Dash could still be in danger until the debt is paid."

"Do you think we should offer more to cover him?"

His shoulders dropped. "I feel like a wretch just asking."

Taryn relaxed. Here, at least, was an issue she was well versed in dealing with. "We're not paying a finder's fee. You'll deliver one gold each to five separate messengers, for the Ax Man. If at least one of them is honest, the others wouldn't want to be accused of stealing."

"Okay," he said slowly. "So how does that help Dash? And what exactly is the message?"

"I don't have much of a message," Taryn said. "Just terms. You can phrase it however you want, so long as they understand that one gold is to buy an hour of the Ax Man's time. He's free to set the time and place but it will not bee sooner than the Lady's Day. If he can survive the Guard for that long, then he'll be worth my attention. In the meantime, the other four gold will ensure that no one lays a finger on Dash until that meeting. Any injury he receives between now and then will cost one gold off the debt owed. If he is permanently maimed or disfigured, I'll consider the entire sum forfeit. If he is killed, then I will come collecting. And then they'll find out exactly what happens when an Ax Man meets a Weapon Slayer."

Kem took a half-step back and blinked at her. "I can't say that! They'll kill me."

"They won't touch you," Taryn said. "Its the gold they want. You're only telling them how to get it."

"By threatening them?"

"I'm threatening them," Taryn said. "I've dealt with this kind before. I understand how they operate. You'll meet with low-level street runners. They may get a little angry but they won't risk angering me by hurting you without first talking to the Ax Man. They'll accept the terms. Trust me," Taryn added. "I would never ask this of you if I thought I'd be putting you in any danger."

Kem nodded; once, twice, three times, his red curls shining bright under the pale moonlight. Then he began pacing. His lips moved fervently as he walked the length of the roof, forward and back again, reciting her terms. He seemed to become more distressed the more he went through it all.

"If you're worried about going through with it, I'll understand," Taryn finally said. "I can find another way to get my message across."

"Please, don't." He stopped pacing and turned to her. "Dash, he... He's afraid and worried all the time. But he never trusts anyone to help him because no one ever has. I'll admit, when I first met him, all I saw was a thief. But he asked for my help. And I know he looks rough and he talks tough but he's just a scared kid. I don't want to pass him off as someone else's problem. I want to help him."

"I understand," Taryn said. "And you'll be perfectly safe. I promise."

"I know," he said. "I believe you."

He gave her a easy smile. Such a simple gesture, yet Taryn found something marvelous in it. With three little words he captured the strange phenomenon of everything he was; everything she wished she could be. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Believe me? Rai was right. I don't know everything. Anything could happen tomorrow. The runners you meet could all go rogue. They could keep the gold for themselves and never deliver the message and they'd still be after Dash. Or they could kill you, as a message to me. That's a very real possibility."

He frowned at her. "You said I'd be fine."

"I did. And you will be. But you don't know that for yourself. You just believe me. Even though you're scared. Even though you're worried. Even though you have no idea what could happen, you're still willing to go through with it."

"I'm not sure what you want me to say. I know you wouldn't lie to me. I know you wouldn't hurt me – not like that, anyways. If you believe it'll go well, then... I don't know. I just trust you. And if you're wrong... well, then we'll deal with it when it happens."

"I've never done that before," she said quietly.

"Been wrong?"

"I've never been brave."

"What are you talking about?" His face scrunched up in a mask of unbelief. "I've seen you chase off knife-wielding thieves. I've seen you stand against aggressive drunks. You don't even get intimidated by entitled nobles or city officials. You're the bravest person I know."

Taryn shook her head. "I study people and use information to intimidate them. I know how a dangerous situation will likely end and if it doesn't, I know that I'll always be able to get out of it. So I'm never afraid to run into them. That's not bravery, it's strategy. I've never been unsure about how a thing would be and done it anyways. I think... I think I'd like to."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm tired and I think its making me confused. Are we still talking about tomorrow?"

"I'm talking about me. And you. I'm talking about us." Pulse racing, knees quaking, Taryn pressed on before she lost her nerve again. She stepped into the space between them and she didn't stop until she was close enough to count the fine hairs on his chin. Close enough to hear his breath catch when she wrapped her clammy hands around his; to sink into the strength and warmth and surety of his grip. It was where she wanted to be. She didn't want to be afraid of it.

He look at her hands, clasped around his. "What is this?"

"What do you want it to be?"

"I want this to be real. But I know that it can't be. So please, just... tell me what this is because I can't keep... playing this game with you." When he looked at her, his eyes were a strange mix of caution and hope.

"I don't want to be your friend. Or just friends, I mean. I want... more. I want to be... better. With you."

"Why?" he asked. "I'm sorry. It's just that every other time you're the one backing away. You're the one telling me to let this go, to move on. Just yesterday you told me to leave you alone. How do I know that you won't wake up in the morning and we'll be broken again? What's changed?"

"Yesterday, I was afraid," Taryn said. "But I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"So, what? Now I'm some kind of... experiment in bravery for you?"

She felt like he was mocking her. Or maybe she wasn't explaining herself properly. Or he was misunderstanding. All she knew was that all of her feelings were boiling inside of her and she was moving quickly toward another storm of emotions. She had to withdraw. She didn't want to be out of control the first time he really saw her.

"No." He held her hands tight against his chest. "Please, stop running away and just talk to me. Tell me what's happening because I want to understand. What are you afraid of?"

"Of you! Of losing you and what it would cost if..."

"If what?"

Taryn stared at their hands while she spoke. "There are things about me, about my life, that a lot of people don't like. You might not like it either. I am terrified that if you ever got to know who I really was, then you wouldn't want to be with me anymore. That you would hate me. And I couldn't bear that, being afraid like that. I could take it from strangers. I could take it from people who already hate me. But I can't imagine how I'd survive if you... if you rejected me too."

There were tears in her eyes now. She wanted to wipe them away but she didn't want to let go of his hand.

"And you're still afraid?"

"I think... I will always be afraid. But I want... I'm choosing to trust that no matter what horrible or wrong or insane thing you learn about me, I believe that you will still see... me. And I hope you can make me... less afraid."

"I could never hate you." His fingers were warm against her chin. They gently lifted her face towards his and brushed the tears that trailed down her cheeks. "No matter what version you present of yourself, I will never not want to be with you."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know it," he said. "But I will prove it to you, if you let me. Tell me you believe me."

Taryn didn't have to believe it. She could feel it. She could feel the strength in him holding fast against the anger in her. The warmth of his touch melting away the ache. The surety in his gaze bringing peace to the restless pulse at the back of her mind. "I believe you."

Then he smiled, that brilliant curl that decorated the best of her dreams. He took her face in his hands and he kissed her. And she held on to him with everything she had because she wanted everything that came with him, with having him. She let the heat and the thrill and the smell of him flood her senses until she didn't care if the blankets suddenly surrounded them or the candles floated around them. She didn't care that Rai was angry with her, or that Vares hadn't spoke to her all week. She didn't think about the fact that she had nearly died today or that her future was no longer secure. He was sugar and fire and she believed him.

And it was better.

Suddenly, he pulled away from her. And she nearly pulled him back. He didn't go far, keeping his forehead pressed against hers, his hands on her waist. Her fingers were buried in his hair. All at once it was warm and cool against her skin, and she didn't want to let go.

"Wait." His heavy breaths were warm gusts on her face. "If we're going to do this, then we need to establish some rules. So we don't go backwards."

"What do you have in mind?"

"If we're going to do this, then we can't have secrets."

For a second, her insecurities surged forward again. Her secrets were the most precious and vulnerable parts of her. They had to be protected. If not, if she let him in, then they would break. He would see the monster hidden beneath her pretty lies and he would hate her. And it would hurt.

"I know you can't tell me everything," he said quickly. "I don't expect that. But if this is going where I want it to go, where I think we both want it to go, then I will need you to let me in. Not about everything and not right now. This is plenty right now. But I need a promise that someday, when you're ready, there won't be any secrets between us."

"Someday?"

He nodded. "I want to know the real you."

The look he gave her was so full of hope that it stitched a potent promise into his words. This was breaking new ground for her and yes, it would hurt. But that would not be the end of it. The seed they were planting would grown and it would blossom into something beautiful. Something better than the cold field of shriveled weeds and shadows. All she had to do was trust him. "I can do that."

"Really?"

"Yes. I... I trust you." Someday, he would know who she really was. Then, she would finally know if she could ever really be loved.

He kissed her again, short and sweet. "Thank you. Is there anything you want? Anything I can give you?"

Taryn thought for a minute. "Will you take me through your training course?"

"Is that all you want?"

"Being here with you; this is everything. I don't need anything else." Taryn said. "But the course looks fun."

"Then it's yours," he said. "Whenever you want it. Can I ask for one more thing?"

"You could ask me for the stars and I'll find a way to make them yours."

"Nothing so ambitious as that," he laughed. "I want to be a part of your plans for the Princes of the Fall."

Taryn froze.

"You say you only mean to speak to them, and I believe you. But I also know that you're planning something, just in case the talk doesn't go your way. I want to be a part of it."

She really wished he'd have asked for the stars. Or the moon. She was sure if she tried everyday for the rest of her life, she could eventually pull it out of the sky for him. But this... Telling him what she was wouldn't be easy, but it would be simple. Giving him a controlled demonstration would be neat and clean. Even having him present during the worst rage-storm of her life would be preferable to letting him see what she planned to do to Kol's castoff army if they refused to be swayed. There was a reason her watches were so successful. Why her warnings were heeded and she never had to thwart the same criminal twice. Taryn knew she had a lot of power. She knew she could do amazing things with it. Wonderful things. Awesome things. And she was willing to show him that. Someday. But if he saw her when she had to do awful things... Taryn didn't think she was ready to be that brave.

"I'm not completely useless in a fight," he said.

"I know," she said. "It's not that. Its just... This kind of work usually runs better when I'm alone."

"Not anymore," he said. "I don't want you to do this without me."

Before Taryn dismissed the notion entirely, she considered how he might be included. She'd have to change her plans. Try for something less full of awe. It would be more dangerous for the both of them and have a greater risk of failure. But it wouldn't be impossible. In light of that, could she really tell him that what he wanted didn't matter? She could never do that. She didn't believe it. Because he wanted to be with her. And that mattered a lot.

"Okay," she said. "We'll do this together."

When he kissed her this time, he didn't stop. He didn't pull away.

And it was so much better.

Until Mama Kebar came home.

She made them go inside, where she yelled at the four of them for half an hour; about the broken trellis Taryn was going to be responsible for fixing; about the strange child Kem would have to enroll at the local schoolhouse, about the ball of fur that availed itself of a messy kitchen Rai would have to clean, about the tired children Galen had to escort to their proper beds.

Since Taryn and Kem couldn't complete their tasks until daylight, they helped Rai with hers while Galen went off to complete his. When Mama Kebar was satisfied, she made them recite a modified rendition of the rules; stay sober, stay quiet, stay inside, keep the fur-ball down stairs and remember that Taryn was still legally a child.

When Mama Kebar and Rai retired upstairs, Taryn and Kem bedded down with Hunter in the sitting room. And for the entire night, Kem never let go of her hand.