《Monsters and Terrariums》Chapter 75

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After I finished “collecting” the remains of the goblin village, I returned back to the Dominus Fortitudinis nest, taking non-monstrous wolf form and constructing a subspace mind barrier to ease my mental burden. The combination cut off most of the voice, but my head was still pounding, my heart still racing. I can still feel the subtle changes fighting for that long has already made on my mind.

Every noise made me jump. I was eager for battle, and elated at the growth it had given me. And more still, I almost salivated at the scent of death coming from the webbing above me.

I shifted again and flew up, phasing the various corpses into my subspace. Most of them surely died long enough ago for their souls to dissipate and prevent their revival, but it’s worth a shot. Still, I didn’t bother trying to figure out who or what was too far gone. My mind was too preoccupied with my thoughts to deal with the logistics of detecting each one.

I still need to free the people trapped in the web, and open the path to the portal. And I’ll need to take the Dominus Fortitudinis’s form to do it.

Draxis warned me of my limits, and even then, I think he overestimated me. But I’m already here. I just need a few seconds.

And so, I shifted.

Shifting alone took almost everything I had, but my mana was the least of my concerns.

The voice does not control me I thought, as I brought the web down.

The voice does not control me I thought, as I freed the humans from their cocoons. They didn’t move. They just lied there with shallow breath and blank stares. Alive in name, but dead in spirit. Like cattle, ready for the slaughter…

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No, Sylas! The voice does not control me! I panicked, liquidating the web blocking the portal to get away from them.

But if they can’t move, then don’t they need my help to escape? Shouldn’t I stay here with them, and bring them deliverance? Deliverance unto me. One bite is all it would take.

I turned back to them, hovering over their still figures with slime dripping down my mouth. I hardened fangs within my mouth, gently guiding them to their tender throats. Just one little bite.

I heard a footstep behind me, and a rough throat-clearing sound. I dropped the person and jumped away from and turned to the noise.

A figure stood in front of the portal. An elf with a stern expression, and a glowing jar tucked under their arm.

“I was wondering why my gatekeeper’s soul went missing. Turns out, you ate it.” the elf said. “Why? Do you have any idea how long it takes to make one of those? Did you not think for even a moment to just ask to be let through? How do you think Tishina—”

I lunged at the elves mid-sentence. He rolled his eyes, and commanded “kneel.” The jar in his hand dimmed, and I slammed to the ground before them.

“I see. So this is the result of my colleagues’ grandstanding about letting you keep your free will. I tried to warn them it would never amount to anything, but it seems after plunging one universe under the rule of a mad god, they’re going to do the same to another. And I suppose I’m going to have to be the one to clean up after them again. Typical.”

My response was a noise somewhere between a gargle and a hiss.

“Use words like a sapient being. You can be a driveling monster on your own time, but don’t waste mine.”

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I growled again.

“Of course. You can’t even do that on your own, can you?” He sighed, and the jar glowed again. “Turn back into your dryad form again.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, I returned to Rhannu’s form, his command cutting through and overriding even the voice.

“Come inside when you’re ready to be a person again. Everyone else, come inside until I can make a new gatekeeper.”

The once-trapped humans got up, their eyes still vacant, and followed Sozdatel through the portal, leaving me hyperventilating on the cold, moist cavern floor alone.

And for the first time in weeks, I cried. Cried for what I had almost done, what I had become. I just tried to eat a person. I lost myself again.

I’d thought what the ancients did to the subspace would be enough to keep me sane. But it only now occurs to me, after whatever spell the elf cast. It’s not just a matter of hearing the voice, and blocking it off. I, myself, am changing. I never would have come down to this labyrinth if I were the person I was before. I never would have prioritized cleaning out the web, or impulsively tried to open the gate and the webs when I know, having experienced and been told again and again what my limit is.

Whether the person I am becoming will do more harm or good, the fact remains. I can’t trust it.

What felt like an hour passed before I was ready to follow Sozdatel in. There were too many questions that needed answers to continue wallowing in self pity. Like, for example, was that my soul in a jar?

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