《Heavy Metals, Heavier Firepower》B3, Chapter 29: To Quote the Parody G.I. Joe PSAs, "Body Massage"
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Axton held his upper body away from the ground with his arms, his legs out in front of him as he sat on the ground. He had gone on quite the rampage lately, and after knocking no fewer than 23 individual War Suits and their pilots out of the contest, he had at long last burnt through his stress and irritation. Now, with his anger having been vented, all that was left was exhaustion.
His eyes were looking up towards the sky of the planet he was on, taking in the sea of stars that existed beyond the final reaches of the atmosphere. Not a single cloud obscured his view, and the night was even darker due to the two moons both having been in their ‘New Moon’ state.
It was quiet tonight, or as quiet as could be expected from a jungle, and the fact that the local fauna had run away due to the previous actions that Axton had taken was no small part of it, either. This was because although Axton was reclining on his own hands and at peace with himself, two War Suits that were neither his nor Thomas’ were taking a ‘nap’ just a few meters away.
The pilots had been lucky enough to avoid getting killed. Axton had his reasons for not killing them, among others whose War Suits he had taken down over the past day and a half of in-game time, and it was exactly what you would have expected. They were NPCs, so if they were killed then their death would be permanent, and Axton, despite knowing that they were mere lines of code, didn’t want their blood on his hands.
Besides, he had played enough games to know that sparing your foes usually led to greater gains later on and that killing them usually led to them either coming back as an undead or cyborg or mutant or it led to their family or friends coming to take their pound of flesh. Axton figured that he already had enough enemies as it was, so avoiding making any more was an ideal course of action.
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For now, at least. Later, though? Well, he was bound to make more enemies eventually, but if he could avoid making a few more right now, then that would just be peachy.
He kept his eyes fixed on the night sky for a while longer before an alert rang out in his head. He had stayed in the pod too long, and so now he had to get out and replace and empty the nutrient and septic containers respectively. Plus, he would need to take a few hours of real-world time to enjoy real life, and certainly not because the pods would not allow him to get right back in and risk disassociation with the real world.
…
As the pod opened and Axton got out, he noticed that Thomas’ pod was also open and devoid of its usual occupant. At first, he was a bit concerned. After all, why wouldn’t he be? He had just gone on a rampage and no doubt had earned the ire of a few Players who may or may not have gathered the courage needed to come after him.
And what exactly could he do to defend Franken or Spider-Can while he and Thomas were away from the game? Those two War Suits were now sitting ducks, completely defenseless and open to any attacks, and both of their pilots needed to spend a few real-world hours and easily more than a few in-game days outside of the game.
He hoped that his and Thomas’ War Suits would not be targeted during this mandatory downtime, but a voice in the back of his head kept nagging him even as he walked away. It was that voice that everyone has now and then, a voice telling him/ you that you fucked up, that he/ you made a mistake, that he/ you are doomed due to your own foolish idiocy.
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Axton couldn’t shake that voice, but he knew that the Battle Royale was still another few in-game weeks away from being complete. He just had to hope that Franken and Spider-Ca would not be taken out while he and his friend were unable to use them. Yep, that was the best he could do right now, and it gave him a fair bit of anxiety.
He walked out of the ‘game room’ in Thomas’ mansion, stretching his limbs and body as he moved. Dear lord he was tense; his every motion felt limited and restrained, and so he decided that he would finally use one of the random machines that were in another oversized room in Thomas’ mansion. He only hoped Thomas hadn’t had the same idea.
Opening a door further into the massive bachelor pad, Axton walked into the ‘medical’ room and then went over to a machine that looked a bit like a doctor’s table but had at least three sets of mechanical arms with equally mechanical hands at their ends. These arms were more like noodles than the usual robotic type, moved by some rather advanced tech, and that was to say nothing of the hands on the ends of them.
Lying face down on the bed, the hands got to work and began to work their magic. Axton couldn’t help but moan and groan as the machine caressed his body, running its heated pseudo-skin and pseudo-muscle over his form. Six hands made for much faster work, and the machine could tell exactly how Axton was feeling due to the potent sensors it was equipped with.
The hands kneaded Axton’s flesh, using both force and gentle touch to achieve its purpose, with each motion bringing Axton more and more relief. Eventually, though, the hands retreated from Axton’s body, and Axton rolled over onto his back to allow the experience to continue.
Once again the machines set to work, and once again its six hands managed to achieve their purpose in record time. After what was, to Axton, a roughly half-hour of pure bliss, the hand retreated again and a slight *ding* alerted him to the fact that the massage machine had finished.
Yes, the machine gave him a massage, and no, it wasn’t that kind of a massage. Get your minds out of the gutter, you dirty, dirty people.
Axton lay where he had placed himself for a bit longer, taking deep breaths and letting his new, less tense body just take in the feelings it had. After a while, though, the machine dinged again, and Axton took the hint and got off. With the stress of the previous bit of game-time washed away, Axton decided that he would see just how quickly he could fall asleep now that his body had been given a massage by a machine like that.
Tomorrow would come eventually, and with it would come the answer to whether Franken and Spider-Can were in danger or not.
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