I gather myself and push the glass door open. As I walk through, the lights flicker on in the hallway ahead, and the sunlight vanishes behind me. There’s another hallway on my right, which would lead to the gymnasium, but there are no lights, and I can’t see very far down it. I guess it doesn’t want me to go that way. I start walking down the hallway, and though this should only be the entrance to the school, I somehow end up on the third floor where all the upperclassmen lockers are. At the end of the hallway, it branches to a stairway on the right and continues to curve on the left to more lockers and classrooms. The lights lead me to the left, and into my old homeroom. I slowly open the door to find the only things in the classroom are two desks, lit up by the overhead lights as if they were on a stage. The desks that me and my friend Derrick used to sit at. I knew when I saw the school that this is the route I’d be taken on, but I can already feel my eyes begin to prickle. I close my eyes for a moment and push the tears away, stepping up to the desks. Nothing happens, so I move around and sit at my desk. It feels strange to be sitting at a school desk again and might be nostalgic had things been different. Instead, my stomach is tight with anxiety, and I can taste my fear crawling up my throat.

The lights shut off. In the darkness I can hear him. His sobbing voice, telling me how hurt he is. What did I say at that time? I was a kid, so I probably said something dumb. I probably told him that I’ll help him with what I can, then didn’t do anything while he hid his pain from me after that.

Bright lights blind me for a moment, but after my eyes adjust, I see it.

His funeral. Tears run down my cheeks, yet I don’t allow myself to sob. Instead, I stare at his picture soundlessly for minutes. I wonder if the Glade didn’t show me him in person, because I can only remember him like this. I’m truly not a good person whatsoever. I stand and walk to the closed coffin, with his picture standing up behind it and place my hand on the black, polished wood.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper. My hand passes through the coffin, as it and the picture disappear, leading into darkness all around me. My tears still flow freely, and I use a hand to wipe at my eyes.

“Why show this to me again?” I ask, not expecting a response, but I get one in the form of an androgynous voice, musical and soothing to my ears.

“To show you the danger of this magic you wish to yield.” It says. I glance around me but can’t see anything in the enveloping darkness.

“You show this to everyone who uses magic, then?” I ask, giving up on finding the speaker, opting instead to stare ahead of me as I talk.

“Variations, yes. Anything that makes them realize the dangers of this magic.” The voice says again, and I note that there isn’t a direction it comes from, rather it speaks directly into my mind. I shiver, realizing how it must be digging through my mind to find all my thoughts and feelings.

“Good. Feel fear, feel disgusted. This means you understand,” the voice says, reading my reaction as it happens. “This magic is an awful thing, and I wish it never had existed in the world. Alas, it’s too late now to take it back.” The voice speaks solemnly, and with an air of importance.

“Does that mean you won’t help me?” I ask, and I feel a nervous sweat run down my back. There is a stretch of silence, where I can’t hear or see anything but my own thoughts and the beating of my heart. Then, like velvet slicing the air, it speaks again.

“I will help you,” it says and pauses a second before continuing. “I can see that you are a good person at heart, and your intentions seem pure enough.”

“Thank you.” I say simply. It must have seen why I want the power, since It’s in my mind. Though, its compliments seem misguided to me. I do care about helping Emi, but I think a lot of people would be willing to go this far, rather than keep on living a normal, empty life. It laughs loudly, in a melodious fluting voice, kind of how I’d imagine a bird to laugh.

“You’re a bit idiotic, but…” Its voice begins jokingly but shifts to a somber tone. “Maybe you can help bring about change. Otherwise, I fear what’s to come.” Those words make the hair rise on my arms. They’re the words Emi used when I last saw her.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I ask quickly, grasping onto the chance to learn anything new. Silence.

“No, I can’t. Not now.” The voice says quietly. Of course, it couldn’t be that easy. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You have difficulties ahead, that may cause you more grief, but I hope you can face them for everyone’s sake.” It adds apologetically, and I feel a warmth spread in my mind. For a few moments, I feel as pleasant as if I had just woken up from a nap on a breezy summer day. Then, too soon, the feeling disappears, and I’m left with a lump in my throat, a burning behind my eyes, and a weight in my stomach.

“Now, take this and go back.” It says as a single light, seemingly from heaven, shines down on a desk with a wristband on it. “This is your conduit. It can take any shape from your memory as you wish it to.” It explains. I walk to the desk and pick it up, feeling a similar vibration from it that I felt from the barriers. The lights shut off again, and another moment of warmth washes over my mind, as a final farewell from It. Sunlight blinds me, and I raise a hand to it, noting how far on the horizon it’s fallen. The sky is a collage of oranges, reds, and yellows meshing together. I look around and realize that I’m in the center of the Glade. I just barely spot Jax on the edge of the woods, watching me and I wave at him as I begin walking over. My feet are just as unsteady as my heart, and I can't help but stumble a few times as I cross the grassy clearing.