《The Faceless Minion》Chapter 194 - What is a Minion?

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Flashes of yellow, golden, and pink light filled the air. Countless golden lines criss-crossed the flashes. The entire area was filled to the brim with magic circles of every type and effect.

It was a battle of the ages. Something out of mythology, gods colliding in the heavens above.

The Temporal Arbiter panted for breath, blood dripping from the wounds on his body.

Princess Aurélie grit her teeth, pushing her sword against his staff.

The Temporal Arbiter was practically a god, able to move through time at will…as well as eject targets from it whenever he wished. None had ever stood against him. He had wiped out every opponent he faced in a single instant…once he had caught them that is.

In other words, he had never faced a serious opponent that he had to defeat with his own hands.

And so he was not particularly good at such things.

Princess Aurélie danced circles around him, cutting him with her blade time and time again. Adoel supported the hero with her magic, while Londibni laid down covering fire to disrupt the Temporal Arbiter’s attempts to overturn the situation.

However, the Temporal Arbiter was no mere organic being, who would perish if the wrong organ was damaged. The weight of his existence should not be underestimated, nor his control over time. Even should he take fatal damage, he could simply revert it. So long as he had power, he would not die.

As he could not use his powers to wipe out the summoned heroes, neither could they use their weapons to deal him the deathblow. The fight became a war of attrition between his powers, and Bob’s.

But Bob’s were a borrowed power from a reality that didn’t exist yet while the Temporal Arbiter’s were innate to himself. If Bob’s summoned heroes could not cut him down, eventually the power fueling their bodies would fade.

And their blows were growing increasingly infrequent.

The flip side to the Temporal Arbiter’s inexperience was that he had great room to grow, and to grow quickly. Even now, he was starting to get the hang of things. He took inspiration from Chronolock, using his powers to speed himself up. Every exchange, he was blocking a bit better, dodging a bit more, and coming a little closer with his counters.

He rushed towards Princess Aurélie once more. Staff collided with blade, but Princess Aurélie deflected the staff off-course and stabbed forward. Her blade plunged into the Temporal Arbiter’s stomach once more…

But this time, he was ready, a sphere of power glowing in his empty hand. Princess Aurélie’s eyes widened.

A blast of power struck her side at point blank range. She plummeted into the ground, flickering with specks of light floating off her. She fell to one knee, leaning on her sword and breathing heavily.

Worst of all, she couldn’t move for a moment.

And a moment was all the Temporal Arbiter needed.

In an instant he appeared by Adoel’s side, slamming his staff into her back. Londibni opened fire, an arrow piercing a golden line straight through his shoulder, but he grit his teeth and blinked over to her, shoving a knee into her stomach.

The Ancient Dragon noticed the fight turning. She blasted Captain Sildeth with another breath and shot towards the ground, jaw open and roaring.

But she was too late.

Because the Temporal Arbiter had reached Bob, lifting him by the neck.

“You spread your power out among your servants. That was a mistake. Now, you don’t have enough to resist me.”

Bob grunted and clutched at the Temporal Arbiter’s hand as his foe lifted the staff to his face.

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“You’ve been a truly, seriously annoying little cockroach, but your time is at an end now. Any last words?”

Bob smirked.

“You’re the one who made a mistake.”

The Temporal Arbiter lifted an eyebrow.

“I’m not a cockroach. Nor am I a hero. I’m not even a villain. Do you know what I am?”

“A cosmic annoyance.”

Bob smiled.

“A faceless minion. And you know what that means?”

Bob made a full grin, baring his teeth.

“Someone who helps the REAL villain execute their plan.”

The Temporal Arbiter’s eyes widened.

Because a massive energy signature suddenly appeared in his perception. He swung his head around and his eyes widened.

Bob was granted the power of Ione, and so still had access to the system she created and all his skills and blessings therein. Including the Selfless Hero title, that allowed him to share skills and blessings with his retainers.

And what is a retainer?

Someone who had swore loyalty to him, and whose oath he had accepted.

So when he returned to this universe…

You have accepted a Retainer’s Oath from NSLICE-00P, Colloquial Designation: Elise!

You have accepted a Retainer’s Oath from Amano Kiyosuke!

You have accepted a Retainer’s Oath from Ueno Nana!

You have accepted a Retainer’s Oath from Saydaa Abdulzaid!

You have accepted a Retainer’s Oath from Arvid Hellquist!

Turns out there was a cyborg who made it her primary directive to obey him, a shinobi with a contract to work under his employ, a kunoichi who had sworn eternal loyalty to him, a half-genie who had made a magically-binding bargain with him, and a chosen hero who had agreed to follow him even when the world turned against them. All of which Ione’s system apparently counted as retainer’s oaths for the sake of his title.

Which meant he could share certain skills from Ione’s system with them.

Such as the Presence Concealment Skill (Lvl MAX) he got from his Faceless Minion summoned hero title.

Which by the power of his Unseen One title applied to an area around the user if they so wished.

So the Temporal Arbiter hadn’t noticed when several individuals slipped away from the battle.

Including the one he should have paid attention to the most.

Yes, by the power of quintuple-overlapped max level Presence Concealment, he had entirely forgotten about Xiong Huang.

And she wasn’t the only one…

Kiyosuke and Arvid stood at the sides, utilizing Bob’s Presence Concealment skill to the maximum while Saydaa, Nana, and Elise were hard at work, just putting the last touches on a truly massive magic circle. Every line drawn with unerring machine and shinobi precision. Every angle calculated by the cyborg and cross-referenced with every bit of data and arcane lore in her memory. Every seal from Nana's USB Drive of Demonic Binding utilized to the absolute limit, to enable truly incredible amount of power to flow safely. And Saydaa’s ability to reshape reality exploited to its fullest potential, allowing for a truly impossible formation: symbols within symbols, lines turned inside out so that more formations could be written upon them, parts of the formation dipping into other dimensions and twisting about in space.

At the center of it all stood Xiong Huang.

And an incredibly nervous Voidspeaker.

“Are you sure about this? Are you absolutely sure about this?!”

“You dare question this Great Mistress? You are courting death with your insolence, boy!”

“We’re all courting death with this ritual! Actual, inexorable doom! It’s not supposed to be possible to perform!”

“I’m the one who decides what’s possible. Now shut up and get to work, you stupid cultist.”

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Voidspeaker was crying and muttering about the end of all reality but he had no choice. He placed his hands on the center of the formation.

Xiong Huang placed a single hand on his back. A bright star shone as she unleashed her qi to its full potential.

Voidspeaker screamed as power filled him to the limit.

He grit his teeth and started to chant.

The Temporal Arbiter’s eyes widened as the formation filled with dark purple and black light, the air dimming around it. He dropped Bob and ran towards the formation as fast as he could, stopping time around him in the process.

“NO! W-What are you doing?!”

But two girls could still move within the stopped time and stood in his way.

“Profile Loaded: Noob. Sarcastic Discomfort: This unit feels her skill dropping with every moment the noob’s power corrupts her circuits.”

“Shut up you stupid bot! I’m not happy about it either. This is the only time we’re partying up!”

Chronolock and Elise stood in his way, thrusting their hands forward. The air twisted as three individuals attempted to manipulate time at once.

It only took the Temporal Arbiter a moment to overcome them and move on. But that was the key point.

For a single moment he was pulled back into real time, unable to speed himself up.

And so unable to interfere as the ritual completed.

“Experience…NOTHINGNESS!”

The power of the void filled the formation. A black hole formed above the formation, rising and growing to a truly massive size, until even the light of the two timelines seemed to dim.

And then…

Something stirred from within it.

Something ancient and terrible. Something deep and unknowable. Something…

“Hm? Who could be calling…oh hey! It’s Voidspeaker! My man, we were hoping you would call! I’ve always wanted to talk with you!”

It was the Lord of the Abyss, ruler of the Void. Voidspeaker just stared, eyes wide.

“Wait what?”

“Oh, hey, so…sorry, this is a little embarrassing but…my daughter’s a huge Wonder Knight fan, do you think you could get his autograph for us? I’d really appreciate it!”

Yes…the unfathomable and mighty eldritch being who was said to bring inexorable doom with his very existence upon any reality he happened to encounter.

Voidspeaker blinked.

“Um, Lord of the Abyss...sir...aren’t you…supposed to bring…inexorable doom?”

“T-That was a dark and shameful part of my…I mean OUR history, I-I’d appreciate it if you could forget that, please. It’s not like we’re actually dark gods who feed on despair or anything, it’s just you need certain adaptations to live in the Void and yes sometimes those adaptations enable you to destroy a planet or universe or two when you’re young and foolish but we don’t do that anymore! We’re just people like you now, you know? We live in a society, with rules and everything! That’s why we love you, Voidspeaker, you know? You’re the first positive representation we’ve had since, well, ever.”

Supposedly. But one should not believe every rumor they read in some ancient, dark grimoire with an eye that stares at its reader. Turns out staring at the void is totally fine, but sane people don’t devote their life to doing that in the first place so there was only one source for information on it…

“L-L-L-Lord of the Abyss, sir, w-w-w-what are you doing here?”

Well, the inexorable doom part was true for at least one person in the area.

“Hm? Susan, what are you doing here? I thought you were on vacation after that big catch of yours?”

“U-Um, could you refer to me by my title, please? And, um, I’m not sure how, but he escaped from the Temporal Nexus. He’s more dangerous than even I predicted…”

“Wait, Temporal Nexus? I thought you wiped the guy with the void? That’s why I confirmed it, after all.”

“Huh? The void?”

The unfathomable eldritch being and the arbiter over an entire reality both stared at each other, countless eyes blinking.

“…I have a really bad feeling about this. Susan, please point out the guy you’ve been chasing...”

Susan gulped and pointed at his prey.

The Lord of the Abyss began to tremble.

“Susan you idiot! You got the wrong guy! Someone else already killed your guy, THIS guy was trying to save the person actually responsible for the win!”

“What?! That’s impossible, I checked the chrono-distortions…”

Countless appendages slapped countless eyes as the Lord of the Abyss groaned.

“You realize he’s using a technological time machine? So…more than one person could have used it before him?! You didn’t check his personal timeline before you banished him?!”

Susan averted his gaze.

“T-There was no time! Do you know how long I’ve been chasing this guy? How many millions of times he escaped from me?! I suddenly had one shot and I had to take it!”

“Yes but, did you verify AFTER that shot? You know, after you had succeeded and had all the time in the world to double check before reporting to all of us on why you went and reset the entire timeline for your assigned reality?”

“T-That’s, um, i-it’s not my fault! L-Look, that girl over there just started punching me! I-It really hurt!”

A countless variety of appendages slapped countless eyes once more. A dark rumbling shook all of space in the area as the Lord of the Abyss groaned.

“So let me get this straight, Susan. After chasing this one guy for countless eons, you suddenly had an opportunity you had never had before. You didn’t question this at all and so didn’t realize your target had already been taken care of. You then went and banished the guy whose team did YOUR job for you. And you didn’t verify this at all per the official procedure before you reported the win and took a vacation as a reward for the successful hunt? I see, I see. I think I understand what’s going on here.”

“W-W-What do you mean? I-It’s not like that!”

“I think we’re going to need to conduct a full review of your conduct now, Susan. Come along.”

“W-Wait, no! J-Just let me explain…”

A pitch black tentacle filled with stars wrapped around a Susan drenched in sweat, pulling him into the Void.

“Sorry about all this, everyone, I’ll take care of things. Just, um, please avoid time traveling until I get back to you, any more paradoxes would be REALLY bad until we get your arbiter situation sorted out. Voidspeaker, let’s talk later ok?”

And so the Lord of the Abyss returned to the void through the summoning portal, which subsequently collapsed.

Leaving everyone staring and blinking.

Xiong Huang slowly walked over to Bob.

“...did you know this would happen? I was getting ready to fight an eldritch being and everything when you came up with that crazy plan…”

Bob nodded.

“Turns out when Ione gave me her power, she accidentally gave me her log-ins for the interdimensional social network. I reviewed some of her chat logs on the way back. She is, or rather will be, friends with the Lord of the Abyss, so I had a handle on his role here.”

“...seriously Bob, do you plan everything out, or do you just make it up as you go?”

Bob simply smirked at her.

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