Chapter 55

I sit on the edge of my bed staring down at Caesar's contact information. I'm wondering if I should call him again when I hear the front door open.

Ace.

I quickly stand to my feet. Maybe he knows where Caesar is. I mean, Caese called to tell me he's leaving. Maybe he talked to Ace too.

I know it's a slim chance since the whole reason Caese is leaving is to avoid facing Ace. But it's not like he was sure that I told him. There's a chance that Caese risked it just to say goodbye.

Either way, I'm done playing the guessing game. I've been doing that all night and it's gotten me nowhere. Caese ain't answering the phone so my best bet is to ask Ace.

I throw open my bedroom door and run downstairs. I pause in the middle of the staircase. The living room is dark but I can make out Ace's silhouette standing near the door.

"Ace?" I call.

He doesnt answer.

I walk down the remaining stairs and flip the light switch on. The living room is instantly bathed in white light.

"What are you—" I start to ask.

Then I notice the blood on his shirt. My heart starts pounding. I glance up at him. He just stares into space.

"Ace!" I yell.

I run over to him. I grab his face and make him look at me.

"You okay?! What happened?!" I ask.

Ace sniffles.

"I'm good," He says.

I inspect his body for bullet holes or stab wounds or anything that would cause this much blood.

"Candyce, I'm good. It's not my blood," Ace says.

I can barely hear him over my own beating heart.

"What?" I ask.

"It's not my blood," He says again.

It takes a second for his words to register. Then I focus on what he's not saying.

If it's not his blood, then whose is it?

I search his face for answers. I zero in on the tear streaks.

My heart drops to my stomach.

"Whose blood is it?" I ask.

Ace opens his mouth to say something then closes it. Fresh tears pour out of his eyes. I take a step back.

"Ace... whose blood is it?" I ask.

"It's-It's—" Ace stutters.

"Ace!" I yell.

"It's Caesar's," He croaks out.

I suck in a sharp breath. Suddenly it feels like I'm sinking through the floor.

"What?" I whisper.

"It's Caese's," Ace cries.

My eyes get watery. I shake my head. It doesn't make sense. He was just blowing up my phone a few hours ago.

But I haven't been able to get in touch with him the last couple of times I tried.

Now, Ace is here with blood on his shirt two days after I found out Caesar was a snitch. I didn't tell him, but that doesn't mean he didn't find out some other way.

Rage flows through me.

"What did you do?" I ask.

Ace chokes back tears. He looks at me.

"What?"

"What did you do?!" I yell.

I attack him before he can answer. I wail on him anywhere my fists will land.

"What did you do?! What did you do?!" I scream.

Ace grabs my wrists but it doesn't stop me.

"Nothing, Candyce! I didn't do nothing! It was Simon!" He says.

I stop fighting him.

"What?" I ask.

"It was Simon. He did a drive-by outside The Loft. I don't...I don't know why but he killed him, Candyce. Simon killed Caesar," Ace says.

With those words, I feel my entire world collapse.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a light turn on in the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Mama asks.

I can't. I just can't.

I place my hands over my ears. I walk until my back hits the wall. Then I slide down it. Ace walks over to me. He crouches down in front of me. I hear him calling my name, but I don't answer.

Mama shuffles in the room in her pink robe and house slippers. Both of their voices are muffled through my hands. It's like I'm not even here right now. All I can think about is Simon and Caesar.

I knew they didn't like each other but to go as far as killing him? It doesn't make sense. Simon wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't take away the only boy I've ever loved.

Then again, I know my brother better than anyone. Simon would stop at nothing to see Ace hurt even if it means hurting me too.

Caesar.

So much of my life involved him. My happiest and saddest memories are filled with his face. He was there for what feels like my entire childhood. He was my first crush, my first love, my first heartbreak—my first everything. Caesar was a part of me.

I think back to the voicemail he left me. I'll never hear him utter more than those words. I'll never kiss him again. We'll never argue and make up again. He's gone.

Caesar's gone.

I feel a part of myself slowly slip away. I don't bother trying to catch it. If Caesar's gone, it's only natural I lose a part of me too.

Suddenly, someone bangs on the door. It's so loud even I look up.

"Ace Ortiz! This is the New Orleans Police Department! We have a warrant for your arrest! Come out with your hands up!"

I lean my head back against the wall. What the fuck is even happening tonight?

Ace stands up. He looks at the door like he's gonna' shit on himself. Then he looks at Mama.

She shakes her head.

"You can't run forever," She says.

Ace glances down at me.

"New Orleans Police Department! Open up or we're coming in!"

Ace takes a deep breath. He uses his hands to wipe the tears off his face. Then he walks to the door.

"Wait, Ace! Your shirt," Mama says.

Ace turns around. He lifts his bloody white Tee over his head and tosses it to Mama. She wastes no time tucking it inside her robe.

Then he opens the door.

Police officers and SWAT team members swarm in.

"Put your hands in the air!" They scream.

I watch long enough for them to slam Ace against the wall and put his hands behind his back. I hear pitter-patter of feet and I turn my head to the staircase. Paryis stands there in her nightgown. She sees Ace and starts to run down the stairs but Mama hears her.

"Stay right there, Paryis! Don't you move," Mama says.

The police are too interested in apprehending Ace to care about Paryis. After all, the only reason Jonah died the way he did was 'cause they couldn't find Ace last time.

Mama walks to the door as they walk Ace outside. I don't move from my position on the floor. I'm too numb to do anything.

Caesar is dead. I'm not even sure this is real life right now.

...

A week later, I'm dressed in my Sunday best for the third time this year. Mama, Paryis and I are crammed in the first pew on the left side of the church. Across the aisle, sitting in the first pew on the right is Caesar's baby mama, Keyana, with her swollen stomach and her son next to her. Her mother and sisters comfort her while she cries and dabs her nose with a tissue.

I should look like her right now. Instead my eyes are dry. Mama holds my hand like she's waiting on me to break down but I can't. There are no more tears left to cry. It's been an entire week since Caesar died. I've cried every day since. The well is empty today.

Scattered in the pews behind us are some people who introduced themselves as Reese's family. There's also a random white man sitting in the last row but I just figure he helps out at the church or something. Everyone is here except the person that matters most: Ace.

The funeral is short. Caesar's son, Amir, is the only one to speak on his behalf. He talks about how he won't have anyone to watch Cars with or eat snacks with until his stomach hurt. Which, for a child, I guess is the only way they can understand death.

I don't have anything to say. How I feel about Caesar is between me, him and God. I've always made my feelings known to those who matter. These people don't matter. Besides, everyone is treating Keyana like the widow anyway. I guess I can't blame 'em. She's carrying his baby and putting on a show over there so we can all see how much she loved Caesar.

I don't know what the bitch is sobbing for. She's got a piece of him forever. Thats more than the rest of us can say and some of us knew him longer and loved him harder.

Still, I understand now ain't the time to compare grief. We all loved him in some way, shape or form. We wouldn't be here otherwise.

I listen to the pastor talk about Caesar being in a better place until the doors open. Some people from Reese's family help carry the casket to the hearse outside. Keyana and her family climb into the first town car behind the hearse. Me, Mama and Paryis head to the second one when I feel a hand on my arm.

I whip around. I'm surprised to see the random white man from the back of the church.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. My name is Lake. Daniel Lake. I was a friend of Caesar's. I'm sorry for your loss," He says.

I look around wondering why he's talking to me of all people.

"I heard about your brother's arrest," He says.

I snap my head back in his direction.

"What about it?" I ask.

"I think I can help but he refuses to talk to me," Lake says.

I look him up and down.

"You a lawyer?" I ask.

"No, I'm a police officer. Well, hopefully detective soon," He says.

I roll my eyes. He should've started with that. We wouldn't even be having this conversation right now.

"He's not gonna' snitch if that's what you thinkin'," I say.

"No, I know that. I'm not asking him to. That's why I'm talking to you," He says.

I furrow my eyebrows.

"All Caesar wanted to do was look out for you and your brother. We were working on a deal that would keep Ace out of prison and put someone in there who deserved it instead," He says.

So this must be the plan Caesar promised he had in place. I didn't know if I believed him until this very moment.

"He told me about this," I say.

A hopeful glimmer shines in his eyes.

"Great! So you know about the flash drive?" Lake asks.

I raise my eyebrows.

"Flashdrive?" I ask.

He sighs.

"Caesar recorded incriminating evidence on Agent Guiterrez that would lock her up for a long time or at the very least have the case she has against Ace called into question. He was supposed to bring me the flash drive the night he passed away. Do you have any idea where it is?" He asks.

I shake my head. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a brown leather wallet. He hands me a card.

"If you find it, just bring it to the station. All I need is that flash drive and your signature on a few documents and your brother can be home by lunchtime," He says.

He didn't say shit about my signature at first. The last thing Ace needs is me tied up in some informant paperwork. That's not a good look for me or him.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you. Whatever deal you made with Caese died with him," I say.

I start walking to the town car.

"Ace belongs with his family right now not rotting inside a jail cell," Officer Lake says behind me.

I pause in my tracks. He has a point there. I haven't seen or heard from Ace since they dragged him away the night Caesar died. He hasn't called any of us and Agent Guiterrez won't let him have any visitors. We sent a lawyer over but according to him, Ace gave up the right to an attorney.

It's like he's just accepting his fate. I know he's broken up about Caesar's death. I just don't want him making any irrational decisions regarding his future because of it.

I turn back around.

"This flash drive. What does it look like?" I ask.

...

While everyone else follows the hearse to Caesar's burial plot—which so happens to be next to his mother and grandmother's graves—I drive 45 minutes to his house. Thankfully I still have a key.

Keyana and Amir's stuff is scattered around the house when I walk in. They've been staying here the past week. I ran into them when I came to get my funeral dress a few days ago. Her sisters gave me nasty looks which I ignored. I didn't have the energy to entertain them. Her mom asked me to leave the key on the kitchen counter since they're gonna' be staying here but of course I didn't.

Just because that bitch wanna parade around like she was his wife doesn't make it true. In the end, she was just his baby mama. I was his girlfriend. This key is the last thing Caesar ever gave me so I'm gonna use it until that bitch changes the locks.

I figure I don't have much time before they come back to the house so I move fast. I start with the drawers in his bedroom. I don't find the flashdrive but I do find a lightly used T-shirt of his. It still smells like him so I take it along with his cologne. I move over to his closet and dig around there but it's all a mess which must be Keyana's doing 'cause Caesar never kept a messy house.

I take a souvenir from the closet too. I grab a grey hoodie that I've seen him in on more than one occasion. I pull it over my head. I dig my face into the fabric. It also smells like him. Tears sting my eyes but I push them down. I'm here on a mission. I don't have time to waste.

I decide to keep my hands to myself the rest of the time. I search every clever hiding place I can think of but still come up empty-handed. Defeated, I go back to his bedroom. I sit on the side of the bed he slept on when I slept over. His book is still sitting on the nightstand. I pick it up and flip through it to see if he had marked any pages he found interesting. I don't like to read, but if it'll make me feel closer to Caesar, I'll read a whole damn encyclopedia.

As I'm flipping through the book, something catches my eye. I go back until I see it again. Sitting right there, cut into the middle of the page is a grey and black flashdrive just like Officer Lake described it.

I can't help but feel like Caesar was guiding me to it. He really wanted Ace out of jail when he was alive. Who's to say he's not making that happen in the after life?

I grab the flashdrive and all my other souvenirs and head downstairs. I take one more look around at my home away from home before I close the door on it forever.

...

The process at the station was easy enough. All I had to do was sign some paperwork saying I was there when the conversation between Guiterrez and Caesar was recorded. I wasn't but Officer Lake was and he didn't seem to care that I was lying. I also had to sign papers saying Caesar left the flashdrive in my care in case anything happened to him. Then I went home.

When Mama and Paryis got home they asked me where I disappeared to. I told them I just needed time to myself. Two hours later, Mama got a call from Ace asking to pick him up.

I act just as shocked as the rest of them when he walks through the police station doors. Paryis runs to him. He picks her up and kisses her on the cheek. As soon as he puts her down, Mama envelopes him in a hug. Ace hugs her back just as tightly.

"What happened?" Mama asks.

Ace shrugs.

"I don't know. They just said the case was dropped and I was free to go," He says.

The police station door opens again. This time, Agent Guiterrez walks out with a box of her belongings. We all stare at her as she stomps past us.

"I'm guessing it had something to do with that," Ace says, staring after her.

"He may not come when you want Him to but He's always right on time," Mama says.

She rolls her eyes before she turns her attention back to Ace. I keep my eyes locked on Guiterrez' back. Just last week I was fighting Caesar for a chance to fuck her up. Now, I don't even go after her. Yeah, it has something to do with the fact that we're standing outside of a police station and I'm not trying to get arrested, but it's also 'cause Mama's right.

If Caesar's death taught me anything, it's that karma has a funny way of coming back around. Caesar may have been trying to right his wrongs, but he still needed to answer for setting Tory up. That's not why Simon killed him, but either way, he's dead. I have to believe karma will dish out the same punishment to Guiterrez.

Not to mention I don't have a gun anymore so I'm really hoping karma will handle it for me.

Eventually I tear my eyes away to focus on what's more important.

When I turn around Ace is looking at me. He opens his arms and I crash into them. I didn't know how much I needed a hug from him until this very moment.

He kisses the top of my head.

"How was the funeral?" He asks.

"Small but nice," I say.

"You know where they buried him?" He asks.

"I do. I can drive you over there if you ready," Mama says.

Ace nods his head.

"But first I need to talk to Keyana. I need to make sure she know she can come to me if her or the kids need anything," He says.

It feels like I just sucked a lemon. I try to keep the sour look off my face but Ace sees it anyway. He looks at me.

"We can drop you off at home first," He says.

I nod my head. He throws an arm over my shoulder and grabs Paryis' hand. Mama trails along beside us.

As sad and heartbroken as I am, I can't help but feel a tinge of happiness right now. My brother's home—my last remaining brother as far as I'm concerned—and my family is together again. We're a few members short and bruised in the worst way, but at least we have each other to lean on. After everything that's happened this year, I don't know what more I can ask for.