Greyson

I've been more busy than I could ever imagine, with the holidays coming in there is much to do and little time to achieve the goals I set out for this quarter.

Father has decided to take a vacation that was long overdue, I can't remember when I have ever seen that man relax and not work for a day. He's been traveling around Europe, last I heard he was in one of the Greek islands enjoying the peace and quiet.

"You know Scarlett I'm not entirely a fan of you kicking my ass, I put hundreds of hours into this game and made up strategies that would make a genius cry." Hudson frowns, throwing the remote onto the coffee table.

Scarlett rolls her eyes. "It's literally a shooting game, you get a gun and shoot things."

"Yeah but...I..." He stutters. "You're grounded!"

I chuckle. "Hudson, she's right."

"You're both very mean people." He walks away. "I'm going to get a beer."

It's been a few weeks since Bianca's passing and slowly Scarlett has been more lively. I can't stand here and lie to myself, saying everything is alright with her, it probably won't ever be. But for now she gives us an occasional laugh and smile to ease my worries.

Hudson has been pretty helpful through this too, he decided to introduce her to games I wasn't comfortable with at first and challenge her. He figures that my entire family suffers from a severe competitive syndrome and that most likely she will too. And what better way to get your emotions out than virtually shooting an evil robot?

Her therapists prefer she focused on writing or art, and she does that, but this is the only thing that gets her to socialize with people instead of being in her room non-stop.

Not to mention, she's actually way better than gamers I've seen playing for almost their entire lives, Hudson being one of them.

"Dad?"

I look at her. "Yes, Scarlett?"

"I'm hungry."

I smile. "Agreed, want to see how long she has left in the kitchen?"

Scarlett nods and we both stand up, heading towards the kitchen where we see Sage running around. I don't think I've ever seen it such a mess and it was clear as day this was her first time making this meal.

The cook book was propped up against the wall next to an assortment of bowls and ingredients.

Sage turns around and notices us. "You guys weren't supposed to see this."

"It looks like someone broke in." Scarlett walks towards the oven to see what Sage was cooking up, and I follow suit.

I chuckle. "Yeah, everything okay in here?"

"I'm offended you would think otherwise." She pauses. "But no, I'm failing horribly."

Scarlett samples a sauce with a wooden spoon. "This taste good."

"That's literally the only thing I got right and that because I called my dad." Sage sighs.

I smile. "Well let us help out, Scarlett's actually a pretty good taste tester."

"I am." Scarlett agrees.

Hudson walks in. "I'm actually foreign so if anyone has an authentic palette it'd be me."

"Okay this can work, this can work." Sage encourages herself and returns to cooking.

We all smile at each other and help out.

After trying to recover a disaster we gave up and settled for takeout which no one was opposed too. Hudson left shortly after Dawn summoned him home to look through some baby catalogues.

Scarlett decided to call it in early and headed to bed, leaving Sage and I alone cleaning the mess she made in the kitchen. Usually I'd push it for the next day but she felt bad heading home with it looking like that.

So to the best of our ability we managed to clean up nicely, with only little distractions, and by distractions I mean a full out makeout session on the counter. There were a few times we had to pat the flour off of her derrière.

Soon after finishing up we both indulged ourselves in a glass of wine, a bottle Hudson brought over to drink but clearly forgot about.

"I'm not that bad in the kitchen, I just wanted to make something fancy, when really I'm more of a breakfast for dinner kind've gal." Sage giggles, blushing from the wine.

I'd be lying and saying I didn't hope she'd finally unwind a little and let loose. It took a while before she would take off her coat here without asking, much less drinking with me.

I smile and observe her. "We appreciate the thought but 'fancy food' is overrated, homecooked food made with love is always far more superior. I remember a couple years ago when I waited for you at your house and your father made these incredible wings. Haven't had anything as good in a long time."

"My dad is a wizard in the kitchen and those wings could put a couple of corporations out of business." Sage sighs. "Now I want his wings."

I place my glass down. "I'm glad you came over."

"Me too, I have so much fun with you all." She leans onto her wrist. "Makes me sad I've missed so much."

I kiss her forehead. "Well maybe there's a solution so you won't miss anything again."

"Greyson." She grins. "I'm not moving in."

I chuckle. "Give me one reason not too."

"Well for starters what we have now is great and fresh, we should take it slow." Sage finishes her wine and reaches for the bottle of wine. "No need to rush."

I grab the bottle and pour both of us another glass. "We've lived together before and it was just as great."

"Yeah but there was no courting, I was just kind've forced into it."

I scoff. "What's the need for taking things slow, we love each other and down the line I do intend to have you for the rest of my life."

"Same here, but it's more fun this way, skipping steps makes us appreciate the small things less." It sounds like she's just making more excuses. "You've been patiently waiting for me for years, whats a little more time going to do?"

I stare at the contents of my glass. "Are you sure you want to be with me?"

"Greyson." She frowns. "Not moving in with you is no reason for a conversation like this."

I look her in the eyes. "I'm fine with you making every decision in this relationship, Sage. I don't mind waiting for you every step of the way. But it feels like you have reservations, I mean shit, you practically clam up everytime I bring up our future."

"Because we should be thinking about the present."

I rub my face. "It's hard to do that when all you've longed for is the future."

"You're the one who broke up with me Greyson, you didn't have to wait for me—"

I frown. "What did you say? If I recall before we broke up that was the only thing you asked me to do? And I'm wrong for doing it?"

"Please don't make this into a thing." Her gaze shies away from mine.

I grab her chin and focus her attention back at me. "Stop running away Sage, if you hadn't brought up shit that's irrelevant to now then I wouldn't make this into a 'thing'."

"I should go." She pushes my hand off of her and stands up.

Without hesitation I yank her back next to me. "This is why I asked if you really wanted to be with me. You can't even give me the decency of assuring me before running off, I asked one simple thing and wanted confirmation. If I have to wait for more of you longer when I've already had the taste of having all of you, then I need to make sure its within reason."

"There's nothing I can say that will reassure you, your insecurities are not something that can be fixed by me telling you sweet nothings." Sage crosses her arms.

I shake my head. "I can say the same fucking thing to you, all you ever think about is the fucking past, yet tell me to focus on the present. The Sage I was with years ago, the one madly in love with me, wouldn't hesitate to be by my side or assure me. I wouldn't even need to fucking ask because her actions proved more than words."

"I can't be that same girl, I've grown out of that."

I clench my hand over my chin. "Or you've grown out of loving me."

"That's not true and you know it, Greyson."

"Then prove it to me!" I shout, instantly regretting it and hoping Scarlett didn't hear. "Then prove to me that you love me just as much. Argue with me, stand up to me, stop fucking running."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm not entertaining that."

"No," I lean forward towards her. "you were stuck in safe mode for so long that you forgot that fire you used to carry with you all those years. Well I'll light that fire up your ass, Sage, so help me you will face me."

Sage laughs dryly. "How? What do I have to do because whatever I'm doing isn't enough for you. Maybe I should call up some whore from the past and have you sleep with her so we can argue about that. Or maybe hope another love child of yours appears in front of the house and announces their existence. Maybe have the mother of that child rattle me off and try her hardest to gain your affection at the cost of my sanity?"

"So you're not over any of that, after all this time you still worry about all of those things?"

She throws her hands up. "How could I not? Would any normal girl in my position just ignore those, we never put those ideas to rest? Just because you saved yourself for me after all this time doesn't mean you weren't entertaining the idea of fucking around. And who knows if there's another child out there? How many women have you slept with? The odds aren't so unlikely."

"What about you?" I ask. "You act all high and mighty but I moved on, I tried everything in my power to have you by my side again. I had to live everyday since I met you again with the knowledge you were able to look me in the eye and go back to another man. Not to mention that the only reason you're with me is probably out of some obligation to the deceased mother of my child."

She scoffs. "I knew you would be angry about that! I'm the one hiding my feelings? How long have you been festering those issues? It wasn't an obligation, she just helped me realize I loved you and was fucking up by not being with you."

"Yet all those times I met with you and told you the same fucking thing it didn't help? Me the man you're supposedly in love with couldn't help you figure that out?"

Sage pauses.

I felt the the tempature inside me rise rapidly, my mind filled with so many questions. None that can be answered or figured out. The fact that we both feel hurt about things and only I've tried to move on only means that whatever we have is far more important to me.

Sage breathes out. "I haven't moved on and yes I am scared."

Looking up at her I see the tears trying to escape her eyes, her face was flushed and she was clearly not sober enough to continue this conversation. Neither am I and I'm a fool to think I'd get anywhere like this.

"But that's because the moment I go back to that girl you have all the power over me, it took me a long time to survive with the idea of not being with you." The first tear makes its way out. "And I can't let that happen again, no matter how much I want to believe you, I can't let that happen again Greyson."

I'm a fool to be so heated over this, she never truly faced her issues, only patched up the scars and did her best to continue on. Having to make her prove such things when we are so fresh is an asshole move, I am just so sick and tired of being patient on her behalf.

I pull her to my chest. "We've come to far for us to be consumed by all of those things, I'm scared every happy moment I'm with you. I look for signs that you'll up and leave again because life would be easier without me. But that's no reason to dwell on it, all the hurt doesn't amount to all the incredible feelings you've given me Sage."

"You make me happy too, so happy...so happy I'm terrified Greyson." She sniffles. "Being able to be with you all again, to be welcomed warmly by everyone and hang out is so much fun. It felt like we never broke up, like we just pressed play. But everytime I felt this happy around you the other shoe drops and I'm stuck being part of some crazy decision that I can't say no too."

I stroke her hair. "Sage, you have all the power in this relationship, from here out anything that comes our way you'll have as much say as the next guy. I'm sorry you had to face all those problems and had to be strong for me, I owe you everything for what you did when Bianca brought Scarlett into our lives. How you handled it and took all that pain in with no complaints."

"I do love her." She rubs her nose.

I smile small. "She loves you too."

"If we do become serious then that's it Greyson, I have to be your equal, not collateral damage." She relaxes.

I nod my head. "Once you're my wife you will be calling most of the shots, except for the bedroom, that's my domain."

"Well maybe we could..." She raises her head.

I chuckle. "No, when we have sex for the first time it won't be with all these emotions roaming in the air. I've waited to long for that, I want the only thing you think about is how much I love you."

"You're such a romantic, but trust me when I say all I feel right now is love." She grins.

I nudge her. "That's the wine and raging hormones talking, but I'm happy to do other things."

"Well please, do tell me what those things are, Grey."

I smirk. "I'd rather show you."