Greyson

I can't remember the last time I felt so helpless.

Every night for the past week I've had to listen to my daughter silently cry to herself, hiding it from me so I won't worry. I had to make arrangements for a woman who I told over and over I hated, not knowing that all the horrible things I told her would follow her to the grave.

Bianca wanted to be cremated so that Scarlett would have her close, instead of traveling to a graveyard and only visited once a year. Even in death, despite her being distant and terrible, she wanted to be as close as possible to Scarlett.

The urn she had custom made was almost ready, it was depressing she even had to chose one, it was more depressing she knew to chose one and didn't let anyone know. Not even her child to say goodbye while she was alive.

So yes, I hated Bianca more than usual, but Scarlett was the one who is truly suffering through all of this.

"Mom said donuts make you bloat up like a balloon." Scarlett says, staring at the donuts I bought this morning for her breakfast.

I've tried everything to get her to eat something, all week I had my chef prepare delicious meals but she would just pick at it. I was hoping a sugary treat would make her take a bite of something.

I push aside my apprehension and smile. "Well I ate two...do I look like a balloon?"

"No." She says, coldly.

I clear my throat. "You want to go anywhere today, maybe get some new clothes? I know your mom would be happy to know your closet exceeds into my own."

"No, I just want to be in my room if that's okay." She looks up at me.

I nod. "Of course, tell me if you need anything okay?"

"Okay dad." Scarlett walks away and heads into her bedroom.

Before I slump onto the couch and lose my mind, my door bell rang. I walked towards the door and opened it, behind it were Hudson and Father. They've been coming over a lot recently to help out, Father tries to cheer Scarlett up and even a man like him can only get a glimpse of a smile out of her.

Hudson drinks with me so I'm not alone doing it.

"She's in her room again, isn't she?" Hudson asks, as he walks in.

I nod. "Yeah."

"Well today I've brought my A-Game, I will make her laugh." Father stands tall, prepared for battle.

I shake my head. "We should just leave her alone, I don't want to push her away or bother her."

"Greyson," Father stops in the hallway and looks at me. "remember when your mother was tragically taken from us?"

I frown. "Are you trying to make us all gloomy?"

"For weeks you wanted to be alone, you went on your hiatuses and locked us all out." He continues. "I wasn't a good father then so I didn't know until I saw Walter do it, but it was a school day and you went inside the town car. Walter told some strange story about his wife and you laughed."

I cross my arms. "So you bring up my dead mother and a man who I trusted, that almost killed you and had the love of my life tainted? Where is this going?"

"Shut up, you idiot." He scowls. "You hadn't smiled or laughed for weeks, you didn't eat or anything. You were a shell. But when Walter made you laugh that's when I saw the life come back in your eyes. After that I'm not saying it was easy but instead of living in sadness, you opened up to life. I'm not saying Scarlett needs a laugh and she'll be fixed, but she needs light in a dark time, before it consumes her. And I want to do what I couldn't for you, for her."

Hudson rubs his eyes. "Shit that was beautiful."

"You're shunned from this family." Father retorts.

I sigh. "Well, then go ahead."

"I wasn't asking for permission son, I was going to do it anyways." Father walks away and heads towards Scarlett's room.

When he enters, Hudson and I seat ourselves in the common area. The first thing he does is open a bottle of bourbon and pours us both a double shot of it, dry.

Before conversing with one another, we throw back the alcohol down our throats, slamming the glasses onto the table once we finished. The burning sensation woke me up a little and eased a little of the tension I had been feeling.

"This week Dawn and I found out we're with child." Hudson pours himself another double shot.

My brows fly up. "What?"

"Yeah, we wanted to have this big announcement." He swigs back the drink again. "But I didn't want our child to ever be correlated with all of this."

I pour myself another and raise a glass towards him. "Trust me when your child is born the only thing we'll be focusing on is my Father talking about how much the kid looks like him."

"Shit, you're right." Hudson chuckles. "I'm going to be a fucking dad, Grey. A man like me has a family starting up."

I smile. "Congrats, you deserve it."

"I just hope whatever fucked up shit is in my brain doesn't go to the child." He stares at the empty glass. "I want my child to be an idiot in bliss."

I chuckle. "If it's your child, it will be an idiot, trust me."

"Hey," He nudges me. "you're right though."

The room goes silent.

Hudson scratches his head. "When Dawn tells you can you act surprise, I'm almost sure I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you're my brother. You had to be the first person I told."

"I got you, I'll make sure to squeal like a girl for her."

He laughs. "Shit, that sounds like a deal to me."

Hudson and Father leave, one drunk and the other defeated for another night in a row. I head towards Scarlett's room to put her to bed, it was late and she said she wanted to go back to school tomorrow morning.

I told her she can wait however long she wants, but insisted staying home only gave her more time to think about her mother. She'd rather at least not be too behind in school and prefers to spend her time doing math instead of staring at her ceiling.

"Goodnight, Scarlett." I kiss her head, tucking her in.

Scarlett smiled at me, as if she was comforting me when she was the one who needed it. I'm not sure how such a terrible woman made a strong child like this. Maybe her methods were to build her to be a strong person, despite how bizarre they were.

I stood up and walked towards the door, when I hear Scarlett begin to sniffle.

Quickly I turn around and see a flood of tears pour out of her eyes. It has gotten so bad she couldn't even hold it like she usually does, as soon as I walk out of the room she'd start and I'd wait behind the door until she fell asleep.

"Scarlett." I laid on the bed, pulling her into my chest.

Without hesitation she clenches her fists into my shirt and cries harder. Every second of this was pure torture and it felt horrible that there was nothing I could do to ease the pain.

"Let it out, let it all out." I whisper, stroking her hair.

The next morning I woke up with Scarlett cuddled up beside me, my shirt was still damp from the crying. I looked at her, noticing her eyes were swollen and she continued to sniffle even in her sleep.

I can't remember what got me through losing my Mother, it couldn't have been good. I want to make sure Scarlett doesn't go that same path, so I'll suffer every night beside her, listening to her cry if it'll help even the slightest.

"Dad." I hear her softly say, her eyes opening.

I pushed her hair away from her face. "Yes?"

"I miss her." She tells me quietly.

I purse my lips. "I know."

Since we were both awake I suggested that we both take showers and start our day. As much as I wanted to lay in bed and comfort her, I felt useless without a cup of coffee. I needed all the help I could get for this time.

So we go our separate ways for a moment and clean up. When we were done I began setting up my outfit for the day, until the door bell rang. I walked towards the door expecting it to be Hudson or my Father, or both again. Only to be welcomed to an older man, who held a large box in his hands.

"You must be Greyson, I'm Martin, I finished this ahead of schedule and decided to personally deliver it myself." He hands me the box. "I've got to say its rare that someone gets to make a custom urn, engraved with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds."

Of course she wants to be in the most expensive urn to ever exist.

"She was a very lovely woman, I am sorry for your loss." He smiles. "Well I must go, I hope this will bring comfort to your family, it is my masterpiece."

The old man heads off into his truck and waves goodbye, I turn around and head back to the common room. Out of nowhere Scarlett comes out from down the hall and locks eyes onto the box. Her eyes began to water as she realized what the contents of the box could be.

I didn't wait a second more and placed Bianca onto the coffee table, carefully opening the box. On top was a letter written by Bianca for Scarlett, Scarlett stares at it and I hand it to her. It sucks she was her when I unwrapped it, I couldn't even check to see what Bianca wrote her and make sure it wasn't anything a little girl shouldn't read from her dead mother.

Scarlett doesn't wait a minute before opening the letter and reading it. I waited for her to finish before bringing out the urn, focusing on her expression.

When the strangest thing happened, Scarlett chuckled.

There were still tears in her eyes but she managed to show an expression I didn't think would ever come back.

"What does it...say?" I asked.

Scarlett hands me the letter.

To my dearest daughter,

My last and final request of you, please buy that cute jacket we saw at Saks, and no matter what they tell you. You're a SMALL not a medium, no child of mine will buy clothes she needs to 'grow into' we're far too wealthy for that.

Love, Mom.

I close the letter and contemplate ever being in a relationship with this woman. But then I laughed too, somehow this letter gave me an odd sense of comfort. Knowing that even the most trivial things Bianca could say would warm her daughters heart.

Which only meant instead of avoiding the topic, maybe I should tell her stories about her mother back when we were dating.

After placing the letter down I finally pulled the urn out, it was heavy but nothing surprising since I carried the box. I placed it on the table and we both stared at the first thing that caught our attention aside from the billions of diamonds surrounding it.

On the front was a picture of Bianca in a hospital bed holding a baby, and for the first time I saw the most gentle and warmest smile that could be conjured from a woman like her. Despite how she treated Scarlett this picture was proof that Bianca loved her more than anything in the world. Even when Bianca was hung up on me she never looked at me like that.

Scarlett cried out and hugged the urn and I rubbed her back.

Suddenly the door bell rang once more and I leave Scarlett alone with her mother. Assuming it was Father, I was excited to tell him that a brief letter about a jacket was the only thing to make Scarlett laugh even in the slightest.

Once I opened it, I immediately froze.

"We need to talk."

I look into her eyes. "Sage."