《Marauding Gods (First Draft)》Chapitre 11: Return
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"How is it?" Syrus asked.
In response to his question, clenching my fist, I assumed a boxing stance and started punching into the air while producing a swooshing sound with my mouth.
"As you can see, it has completely healed." I said to Syrius.
Today was the day I was to be freed of my bandages. It took Syrus four weeks to finally agree to remove my bandages. One entire month without using my right arm.Twenty-eight agonizing days without being able to use the library.
Today, I, Ronandt, have been reborn from my ashes.
"I wouldn't recommend overworking this newly healed elbow. It would be a shame if it were to get dislocated again, and if that were to happen, I doubt it would recover before at least Mathilda's return. "
"Understood."
That's right, it’s been eight weeks since Maa was summoned to the castle. She's only gone for two months and will be back in another one.
"Now that we talked about it. Could you, please, not tell Maa about, you know, this accident? "
He looked me in the eyes, and asked, "Are you asking me to lie, Young Lord ?"
"No, no, of course not. I simply wondered if you could refrain from telling Maa about the accident. After all, it's all behind us now. The past is the past, we must let it go and focus on the future that lays ahead."
"I suppose I can do that, but what about the other residents of the manor?"
Only upon hearing these words, did I remember that everyone in this house was aware of my accident. After all, despite not being a particularly outdoorsy person and rarely interacting with people other than Maa and lately Syrus, four weeks ago, I received a visit from everyone in the household, including the ponytailed gardener who also came to wish me a speedy recovery. I also, by the way, found out his name was Roger, which sounded like a rather fitting name for a brawny ponytailed old man. So there was no way the fact that I'd been in an accident wouldn't reach Mathilda's ears when she returned.
"You know what? Forget what I just said. Syrus? "
"Yes, Young Lord?"
"We must let go of the past and-"
"Focus solely on the bright future that awaits us."
"Perfect."
***
Taking the deepest breaths my lungs could allow in, I shouted,"Aaaaaaaaaaaah., I’m back!"
It might be a strange thing to say, but I've been really missing the smell of this place lately. The sweet yet weird aroma of old books.
After a month of being forbidden access to the library, I was finally back in.
It had been one month since I hurt myself inside the library. It felt like an eternity had passed since that day, but still, the memories of what happened that day were still vivid within me.
"I'm here today for my revanche."
Since that day, I've never tried to use Aina ever again. But it wasn’t as if I had given up or something. As if a minor injury would put a stop to me. Actually, I should be grateful for it. Thanks to my injuries, I've gained a new ally as well as a valuable source of information about Aina.
Of course, I haven't told Syrus that I've managed to use aina, but if I asked him innocently about how he and his comrades were using their aina against monsters, I could still get a lot of valuable information from his stories. At times, I felt like he got suspicious about why I wanted his stories to be detailed, but not minding it much, I mostly simply responded to his question by pretending that my curiosity was for the sake of immersion.
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"So here I am, one month later. Perhaps not stronger, but definitely wiser, or at the very least more informed. "
During my recovery, I spent many days, wondering what I could’ve done wrong that time? After all, it only happened on my second try. What was the difference? What went wrong?
Such were the questions I had for one entire month, which also led me to the conclusion that my method, most likely, wasn't incorrect. It worked perfectly on my first attempt. That is, while not incorrect, my method may have a number of flaws, including the one that cost me a month of being stuck with only one hand.
Putting together clues from Syrius's stories and the one I got from my own sweet and bitter experiences with Aina, I came up with one theory.
Commoners discover their ability to use aina fairly randomly. Some were doing their daily chores, others were running, and in some cases, they discovered it while fighting. In Syrius' case, he discovered his Aina-wielding ability while playing hide and seek. He discovered it by falling from a tree, to be more specific.
Pretty stupid, isn’t it?
He realized that he was completely unharmed when he fell to the ground, and that, in fact, he felt strangely more energetic than before.
To back up my theory, I went as far as to ask Syrus if he or any of his friends had ever been harmed by their own aina, to which he answered no. The information gathered from Syrus's stories gradually confirmed my theory.
A theory stating that the "It just works" I read in one of the library's books back then might not be as stupid as I thought it would be. My guess about aina was that, unlike mana, which was produced by a noble body, aina was a sort of external force that, unlike mana, was absorbed instead of being released out.
I still believe the theory to be correct, but there had to be several minor adjustments to be made to it.
A noble's body produces internal energy known as mana, which allows them to use magic. Aina users, on the other hand, absorb the surrounding aina and infuse it into their bodies. My guess is that aina-users, the commoners ones, naturally and rather very innately, absorb aina around them. Long story short, their bodies do it naturally, and just thinking about it is enough to make it happen, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "it just works".
Since I have no noble to ask how he experienced aina-wielding, I couldn’t tell if that logic also applies to nobles.
But in my case, however, I suppose I have to manually suction aina and infuse it onto the part of my body that I want to enhance.
What's the difference?
Well, though where the boundaries were set was a mystery to me, I supposed the difference between a regular Aina and I would be how our bodies process the whole Aina-wielding thing.
There seems to be a difference between how Syrius described using Aina and how I felt it back then.
If I were to compare it to something easily relatable, using Aina would be similar to holding one’s breath under water.
Aina-users, or at very least those I’ve heard about, would be normal people who know when to instinctively seek out the surface to avoid drowning.
In my case, however, I would be someone who has no sense of drowning, or at least, someone who is unaware of the limits of their own small lungs.
The fact that I was completely unarmed on my first attempt at Aina one month ago was most likely a mere coincidence. The second try, on the other hand, was less coincidental and less lucky than the first one. Who knows, in the worst-case scenario, I could have completely blown away my right arm.
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"Ouh… just the thought of it sends chills up my spine."
For the time being, I must abandon the idea of wanting to send an enhanced punch like I did last time, I was not ready for that, and instead concentrate on things like perceiving the surrounding aina. Since it was an outer force, just like mana, there had to be a way to perceive it.
Indeed, it didn’t sound as glorious or as epic as throwing mighty punches at a nonexistent foe, but it was safer that way. If I were to injure myself again, Maa and Syrus would eventually make the connection between my activity in this room and the injury, and that day would be the last I would be allowed into this room.
So I’d better be safe than sorry. Besides, Aina couldn't just be about violence and strength, couldn’t it?
So, comes the question of what should I, concretely, do now?
Well, when I last used aina, all I had to do was take a fighting stance and absorb the aina around me. However, this time, with my goal this time being to perceive aina rather than to use it. I suppose there would be no need for a fighting stance.
I went to a corner of the room, sat in a cross-legged position on the floor, and closed my eyes.
"Let me start by… clearing my mind of any fleeting thoughts I may have had.
A few minutes later, I wouldn't say I cleared my mind of any thoughts, but it did feel empty enough, for by then, I noticed three faint light points, no bigger than a small soap bubble, appeared next to me, gradually emerging from the darkness.
With my eyes closed, it was obvious that I couldn't see. Instead, it was more "feeling" than "seeing." The light particles were orbiting around me aimlessly. It was then as I was concentrating, that one light particle suddenly flew toward my face.
Perhaps it was because of its appearance, but I was under the impression that if a puff of air were to my nose, the light particles would burst or disappear. So, I instinctively prepared myself and took a deep breath in and held my breath. As if it sensed my intent, the light particle flew to my face and landed on my nose, I didn't feel anything physical as a result of its landing.
After a few seconds, unable to hold my breath any longer, I began to gasp for air, causing, as a result, the light particles on my nose, as well as the others, to vanish.
I tried again and again to enter the same meditative state, but to no avail. After spending around half an hour cross-legged here, my butt began to hurt.
Tired of sitting there on the floor, I complained, "This should work even if I were sitting on something more comfortable, right?"
Standing up, I went to plop myself on the sofa, then took the most comfortable position I could think of, laying face down on the cushion.
Closing my eyes, I tried to reenter my earlier state. And only after a while, I began to feel the light particle’s presence again, but this time, unlike before, there was only one of them.
It was then that a stupid thought crossed my mind.
Since I was under the assumption that this thing, which I assumed was Aina, or at the very least related to Aina, what if I tried infusing myself with these lights but without going as far as to inject them into myself?
The thought had just crossed my mind that my body had somehow reacted, absorbing light particles. Just like the first time, when I threw that first successful punch, I felt within me a warm sensation, which soon turned into a rather burning one.
"Oh, no."
This burning sensation was familiar to me. That day, right before the incident that caused my right arm to end up like it did, I felt that same burning sensation. Knowing that panicking would not help, I began to concentrate on my new goal: if I could absorb the light particle, I should be able to expel it from my body, shouldn't I?
In any case, I hope so, because if it doesn't, then I will be in really big trouble.
Gathering I started working on the task at hand, and soon the burning sensation in my chest faded slowly but steadily away.
It was then, still within my effort, that I started to notice their presence. It was faint, but everywhere around me were countless light particles, so many in number that it was virtually impossible to even count them. There were so many of them that I felt tempted to call these light particles blinding, but once, I was reminded that these particles' existence was not visual. The spectacle the light particles offered was similar to a starry sky, but unlike a starry night, where stars remained still most of the time, these light particles, like bubbles underwater buoying to the surface, popped out of nowhere to then fade away all around me.
Moving my arm while still in that perceptual state, the light particles allow my hand to pass through, as if I were passing through a thin layer of cotton.
I was still experiencing the whole thing deeply, when the experience was cut short by a rumbling noise from my stomach. As I opened my eyes, I looked at my hand, still vividly remembering that sight. So much that I still felt the light particles lingering around. It was then, as my eyes wide opened, staring at my hand, that I saw, juxtaposed above that which I, with my eyes, saw, those light particles.
For a moment, I stood up and the sight vanished, only to reappear faintly after a while.
As I clenched my fist, the sight disappeared at my command.
Unable to contain it any longer, a smile took over my face.
To be honest, I had the fright of my life, when I, first, felt the burning sensation in my chest, for it was only when I felt that I remembered the burning sensation I felt before having my elbow injured.
What if I'd exploded into minced meat? Looking back, that could’ve happened.
"Sheesh, scary….But the risk was well worth it.
What I saw today finally confirmed my final theory.
Although in his story, Syrus never mentioned any light particles. I was certain that the light particles were those which were most commonly referred to as "Aina". And enhancing oneself means absorbing a bit of these light particles. Something that Aina-user does innately and automatically, but that I had to do manually the way I did earlier.
Wasn't that a little unjust?
Well, maybe not. After all, I was the one who wanted to get a head start on using Aina. That is, if I can train myself to control it for a long enough period of time. I'm confident that I'll make up for the fact that I had to do it manually rather than innately.
"That’s it, I did it today, I’m sure I can do it."
"However, I have more pressing matters to attend to for the time being, " I said while clutching my hungry stomach." "
Having made up my mind for the course of my, years to come, Aina-training, I left the library.
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