Abrax felt colder than usual. Once the garage door slammed shut, the air chilled. Emryn wrapped her jacket tighter around her shoulders. Zaiden had laid it on her on the journey back and she wasn’t ready to be rid of it.

Upon arrival two guards had taken Kiarra out of Malcolm's watch, presumably to shove her in a cell. As usual his stoic demeanor gave little of his emotions away. Emryn suspected he was livid. Maybe even annoyed. It was hard to recall times when he wasn’t.

Now all they had to do was wait for Seth to take the bait. But Malcolm had never wanted that. He didn’t think it was wise to continue to target Mallax, even after all they had done.

Their situation made Emryn feel uneasy. If Seth did take the bait, he’d be killed. She told herself she didn’t care. He could make his own choices and deal with the consequences. If he really valued Kiarra’s life above his own, then it would be his own fault.

“Why do you always look like you’re gonna kill someone?” Malcolm’s voice carried through the now empty hanger. The others had already gone inside, leaving the two alone with quiet machines.

“I don’t look like I’m gonna kill someone,” Emryn argued.

“I’ll believe that once you stop glaring,” he said, slinging his weapon over his shoulders and heading towards the door. “You’re gonna lose a lot of blood if you keep stabbing your own hand.”

Emryn looked down. The numbness of her wounds concealed the pain. She hadn’t noticed until Malcolm pointed it out. Wanting to defend herself, Emryn was prepared to argue further. But when she looked up, he was already out the door.

Emryn followed after him. “I don’t always look like I want to kill something, do I? You’re just messing with me?” she asked warily.

Malcolm side-eyed her. “I wouldn’t say ‘always’ but it’s definitely often.”

Emryn pondered for a moment. That would explain why people were still intimidated by her. Even looking around her now, she could see the uneasy eyes. They followed her everywhere.

“Do you think they’ll ever stop being scared of me?” Emryn didn't have the usual dreadfulness when she spoke. Monster was what she had been branded as. A name often followed by fear. But now she felt nothing.

“Probably,” Malcolm considered, slowing his step. “Might as well give them something to be scared of.” Emryn stopped beside him.

“What do you mean?”

“If they’re gonna see a monster when they look at you, it’s their own fault. I wouldn’t waste my time trying to change for them.”

“Do you really think that?” Emryn had always needed to reform for others. Harver wanted her to be stronger. Dr.Willow wanted her to be complacent. The members of Abrax wanted her to be tame. She had been this submissive weapon for so long, she didn’t know how to be anything else.

“Obviously.” Malcolm shrugged.“Living tends to be much more enjoyable once you stop caring.” He started walking again. “But what do I know? I’m a soldier, not a therapist.”

Emryn chased after him, more vigorous than before. “I’ve never had a therapist,” she teased, testing the waters. Malcolm glared back. It was hard to tell if it was humorous, but it made Emryn grin all the same.

“I’m not your therapist.”

“Friends are basically therapists,” she shot back. Emryn swore he smiled but it quickly went away.

“Stop being weird and go to sleep or something.” Malcolm walked off, rude as always, but Emryn didn’t mind it anymore.

“Where are you going?” she asked. Malcolm was already at the end of the corridor when he stopped.

“I was given orders to watch Kiarra.” Right, Emryn had almost forgotten. Malcolm shouldered the responsibility of using the Mallax soldier as bait for Seth. Emryn’s stomach churned. Seth wouldn’t be stupid enough to come here. He’d slip through the cracks like he always did. He wasn’t coming here.

Malcolm’s descending steps echoed through the now empty corridor. Emryn watched him leave before heading towards her room.

It was almost completely void of light when she entered. The tiny window didn’t let a lot in. The flowers on her desk had wilted from lack of attention. Emryn tried placing the dried petals back onto the stem but it was no use. They always fell back down. She’d have to go to the greenhouse tomorrow for new ones.

The sound of a young heart beating brought her attention to the door, still left ajar. By now, Emryn had memorized the rhythmic hum of Zaiden’s heart. The whole journey back she’d listen to it beat beside her. There was something incredibly soothing about it.

Emryn plopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She hoped Zaiden wasn’t coming here to give her another mission. Her body was too tired for that. The advanced hearing made everything so boisterous. What she would give to have a moment of silence.

Closing her eyes, she felt a weight dip the bed down slightly. She heard Zaiden sigh. Emryn looked over at him. His dark hair had fallen over his eyes and his hands rested under his head. The picture of tranquility.

“This is nice,” he sighed.

“What is?”

“Pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist.” Emryn rolled into his side until her head was pressing against his shoulder. For a moment their breathing matched and they were all that mattered.

“Is it really that bad?” she asked, practically whispering.

Zaiden looked down at her and his face softened into a smile. “Not all of it.” He kissed her forehead. “Sometimes the dark is just easier to see.” Emryn recalled the cage she grew up in. There were days when darkness blinded her and light only shadowed, but those were also the days she remembered best. Because they were always followed by pain. Pain was all she knew until she met Seth. And pain was all she knew once he left.

“Zaiden?” He hummed in response. Emryn hesitated. “Have you ever lost someone? Not in a sense that they’re gone but more like,” she thought carefully, “more like you lost who they were to you?”

Zaiden’s eyes glossed over and his brows scrunched, like he was recalling a bad memory. “My father.” Zaiden’s heart picked up slightly, as if he was afraid saying his name would manifest him here. Emryn gently wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him closer. This was a hard topic for him but she needed to push him a little further.

“What happens?” she started. “When you’re alone with your father?” Silence. Emryn breathed deeply. “Please, talk to me.”

Zaiden swallowed roughly. “My father has a very complicated definition of love.” His hand found hers. “He thinks he needs to physically beat some lessons in order for me to understand. According to him, pain is the best teacher.” Zaiden shook his head and laughed bitterly. He was barely holding back tears. “It’s his own twisted way of love.”

Emryn struggled to think. The idea of Zaiden in pain caused an ache in her chest. “Is love supposed to hurt?”

“Not like that,” Zaiden answered. Emryn wanted to hold him. She wanted to protect him and shield him from everything that was wrong with this world.

“I won’t let him touch you,” she promised, lifting herself up to look him in the eyes. “I’ll kill him.”

Zaiden looked away, eyes fogged over with an emotion Emryn couldn’t describe. He sat up to level himself with her. “My mother used to say something similar, but she could never go through with it.”

“Your mother?”

Looking down at his lap, Zaiden smiled sadly. “She was a scientist. Smartest person I’ve ever known.”

“Where is she now?”

“A psych ward, or the equivalent of it.” Zaiden said it so casually, Emryn nearly believed it wasn’t such a bad thing.

“What is she doing there?” she asked. Emryn laid back onto the bed with her eyes cast on the ceiling.

Zaiden fell back down, too tired to move. His fingers fiddled with the end of his shirt. Emryn watched them move until she couldn’t take it anymore. She flung her hand over his and he stopped moving. “Sorry,” Zaiden laughed.

Emryn moved closer, putting her head over his heart so she could hear it beat. “What happened to your mother?” The steady rhythm picked up a little. Emryn laced her fingers through his to calm him.

“Years ago she was attacked. At the time she was working on what some called a ‘miracle’. Or that’s what my father told me at least. She was out late at night and somehow got into a fight with someone from Mallax. The battle left her hospitalized then my father went after the people responsible. That’s why he hates Mallax so much. It’s personal.”

“How old were you?”

Zaiden's thoughts were almost visible as they filtered through his mind. “Sixteen, maybe. Almost eight years ago.”

“How old was Braun?” The little guy looked so small compared to everyone else but Emryn didn’t know how old he was.

Zaiden furthered his brows. “Why does that matter?” he asked.

Emryn looked up at him. “He’s your brother, isn’t he?”

Zaiden grinned, suppressing his laugh. “No, Braun isn’t my brother. Not by blood at least. He’s just a kid we picked up a while back. Found him wandering around on his own.”

“You take in a lot of strangers,” Emryn mumbled into his shirt.

Zaiden’s free hand combed through her hair. “I have a thing for strays.”

The corners of her mouth lifted. But there was still one thing bothering her. Zaiden had just shown her his most hollowed parts but she was still keeping a secret from him. He trusted her so fully, and he deserved the same in return.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” She pushed herself up and gave him space. Emryn needed to see his eyes. She needed to see if knowing this would change the way he looked at her.

Sensing her urgency, Zaiden raised himself up. “What’s wrong?”

Emryn shook her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner.” She clenched her jaw and shut her eyes tight. “I knew O’Connor.” Her eyes opened to watch his reaction but he gave her none.

“What do you mean you knew him?” Zaiden questioned calmly. “How?”

“He was in the labs with me. His name is Seth.” She swallowed roughly. “He’s the boy I told you about.”

Zaiden stared at his lap. His heart was beating rapidly. But he wouldn’t turn his head to look at her. “Zaiden-”

The radio in his pocket went off. Static voices called out his name with a sense of urgency. Then a familiar voice came through. “Zaiden, your father’s looking for you.” It was Malcolm. The warning filled the air like smoke.

Zaiden’s eyes widened and his head sank down. Emryn saw his hands instinctively wrap around his waist. She grew nervous the longer Zaiden sat there unmoving. Inching forward, Emryn hugged her arms around his shoulders. “Don’t go to him,” she warned. “You don’t have to leave.” Her sight fogged over. “Don’t go to him.”

A shaky hand grabbed her wrist. “Okay,” he whispered. He still couldn’t look at her. The mic kept beeping, sounds echoed through the room like static. Emryn never wanted to let go. If she needed to be his shield, she would. And if he needed a weapon too, she’d gladly be his.

The old reverberating sound of another heart beating accompanied by heavy steps snapped Emryn’s eyes open. Risen to her feet, she blocked Zaiden from the door.

“What is it?” Zaiden looked between her and the hall she glared at. His question was soon answered when his father walked through the doorway, a scowl coating his face like venom. The radio at Zaiden’s hip buzzed to life once more.

“I see your com is still functional.”