Pisces

Today was a good day.

It was 77 degrees out no clouds blocking the sun for the first time in weeks. It was perfect beach weather, but as always, we chose to go down to the lake and take the kayaks out instead. Scorpio couldn't make it - he didn't answer his phone - but Aquarius was here. So was Gemini. We had a picnic, a little one to celebrate, I guess. We sprinkled some of the cake into the water as well. I think you would've liked it - Taurus made red velvet, the same colour as your hair.

We went to your mom's place too and gave her some of the cake. She cried a little, but she was happy we remembered, that we would always be there to remind her that you were out there, somewhere, celebrating with us. She was polishing up the frames on some of the stuff you painted when we came in. My god, you were talented. I keep telling her she should sell the work and make sure your artwork at least got distributed, but she refuses. Your place has started to look like an art gallery, if I'm being completely honestly.

Anyways, happy 18th birthday, pal. I miss you.

Pisces

Biting back my tears, I laid the letter upon Cancer's tombstone, stepping backwards as Aquarius placed a single white orchid upon it. Taurus wrapped an arm around my shoulders, kissing the side of my arm gently. "Don't cry, Pisces. Cancer wouldn't have wanted it."

Sometimes, I wondered how I'd gotten lucky enough to land someone like Taurus. It wasn't just how beautiful she was, or how she carried herself. It was the fact that she cared more than anyone had ever cared about me, that she was the only person who stood by me through the loss of my best friend, that she was loyal to a fault. Taurus was the one constant in my life, the rock in the tide that didn't move even as the hardest waves beat down upon it.

I wiped my tears and cleared my throat, wrapped my arm around Taurus' waist and stepped forward, when the sound of motorcycle engines interrupted me.

It was Scorpio and Libra, followed closely by Will.

Will confused me. Something about him was so familiar, so comforting, so Cancer. I couldn't quite discern it, but Will didn't just resemble Cancer. He reminded me of Cancer in every way... and that had made me detest him more than I could have ever imagined. Will was a constant reminder of Cancer, of the accident, of his death.

I wished Will had never come to Varsity High.

"Where were you, Scorpio?" I asked, pushing past Will. "We've all been waiting-"

"Pisces. I need to talk to you."

I turned to face Will, his voice abnormally fragile, like that of a baby bird letting out its first chirp.

"Go on, then."

"In private."

I bristled, Taurus coming up next to me. "Whatever it is you want to say to me, you can say to both of us."

"I can't. Pisces, please..."

"Then you can go screw yourself."

I will admit, I was surprised at my own boldness. But this was Cancer's day, not Will's. Will made it worse. He made it hurt even more than it already did, more than I thought was possible. Will made the loss so real, so tangible, so understandable. I saw Cancer in his eyes, saw my dead best friend in his every move. All it did was make me realise the best I could do was imagine him, a phantom, a mere fragment of my memories, just someone Will reminded me of. No longer a person, a memory. No longer my best friend, just some sad teenage boy who drove his bike off a cliff. No longer Cancer, the art prodigy, but Cancer, another number in the rising statistic of motor accidents, teenage deaths, failed heart operations...

Cancer was really and truly gone.

"Pisces," Scorpio cut in, "I think you'll want to hear what Can- Will- has to say."

They say everyone hits a breaking point. Divers who dive too deep, pilots who fly too high, sprinters who run too long and too fast.

In that moment, I, nothing more than a boy with a dead best friend, hit mine.

"DON'T YOU DARE CONFUSE HIM WITH CANCER!" I screamed, shoving Scorpio until he fell, bringing my fist up. "HE-WILL-NEVER-REPLACE-CANCER!" I punctuated each word with another blow, the anger hitting a swell in my chest, when I felt soft, silk-like hands pulling me away from Scorpio's bloodied face. Cancer's hands had felt just like that, smooth, free of callouses.

It was Will.

"Get off me!" I struggled under his stable grip. Will's body trembled, but his hands stayed stable, just like Cancer's used to. "I'll let you go once you've calmed-"

"The hell down," I sighed, my muscles no longer tense. "Let me go, now."

"I swore I'd never let you go, didn't I?"

"But you did, Cancer."

My brows furrowed almost as fast as I recoiled, realising what I'd just said. "No- what-"

"It's me," he said. "I'm here, Pisces. I'm here."

His words felt like the humid air after a storm. They were suffocating, confusing, but relieving. Constricting in the best way possible. "Cancer?" I asked, surprised by the way my voice trembled.

"Yes. It's me, you ass."

The tears prickled against my skin as I wrapped my arms around Cancer, sobbing into his hair, making sure he was real, when something occurred to me.

I pushed Cancer away, the anger beginning to return.

"How long have you known," I demanded, "and continued to let your friends mourn you?"