《Bathrooms, Superpowers, and Poetry》Pantoum: Impenetrable City
Advertisement
Impenetrable City
There is no war
in the city of dreams.
Though you look to distant shores,
you’ll see no better queens!
In the city of dreams
when you walk, you and yours,
you’ll see no better queens
when you wave to men who knock on doors.
When you walk, you and yours,
speaking loudly, like machines,
when you wave to men who knock on doors…
No. You have not the means.
Speaking loudly, like machines—
”There is no war!”
Know you have not the means,
though you look to distant shores.
Poem 'Breakdown':
Impenetrable City
Large, Bold, and Underlined, like a wall that protects (or overshadows) the poem that follows.
Also, it's a massive Ba Sing Se reference. Because I'm a bloody nerd.
There is no war
in the city of dreams.
Though you look to distant shores,
you’ll see no better queens!
These lines are pure set-up. It starts the reader off in a pleasant tone so that the rest of the poem can counter that.
- 'Queens' set you into a more fantastical setting compared to modern day, but may be off-beat or distracting for this piece.
In the city of dreams
when you walk, you and yours,
you’ll see no better queens
when you wave to men who knock on doors.
- 'when you walk, you and yours,' Is a fine, lead-in line, but it's not pulling its weight. It's slow and it could be replaced with more helpful imagery.
'When you wave to men who knock on doors.' is used to prelude the next stanza's turn. On re-read, however, it is hoped that
"you’ll see no better queens
when you wave to men who knock on doors."
reads more so in the form of:
"You see the bad/evil/corruption of your city
when you wave to the men who knock on doors."
Advertisement
When you walk, you and yours,
speaking loudly, like machines,
when you wave to men who knock on doors…
No. You have not the means.
-In this segment 'when you walk, you and yours,' is doing what I want as it elongates the scene and 'you' think and ponder. Still, it could likely be better.
The next three lines here introduce the turning point of the poem.
'Speaking loudly, like machines' is sharp and mechanical, as if the words that will come are memorized rather than felt. And because you do so 'when you wave to men who knock on doors', the intent is that these men are called into question. Gangs? No-- you wouldn't wave. City enforcers? Either way, 'the men who knock on doors' is very much a euphimism.
^(That portion could use some clarification on my end.)
When 'you' trail off on the third line, 'you' realize that 'You have not the means.' to interfere.
Speaking loudly, like machines—
”There is no war!”
Know you have not the means,
though you look to distant shores.
'Speaking loudly, like machines—
”There is no war!” '
This segment locks in the idea of propaganda, and of 'you' repeating it. (Out of fear?)
'Know you have not the means,
though you look to distant shores.'
This is a fun little segment. It brings the poem back around to the opening stanza and (hopefully) invites the reader to reinterpret the piece after being given the rest of the information.
Advertisement
The Apocalypse Show - Dungeon Core
There were lot's of ways that people had predicted that the world would end. A few even had it partially correct. But how could they have predicted it would be a combination of the system apocalypse and aliens. Specifially aliens that wanted to create the equivlant of a TV show about the system apocalypse on Earth. Arthur woke up with a headache and the option to create a character. Most people would have gone with the safe choice and selected to stay a human. Arthur suspected that wouldn't be the safe choice in his new world. Instead he decided to see what other races were available. Eventually he decided to become a dungeon core instead. Of course being a dungeon core comes with a number of challenges. Starting with the fact that he was a giant crystal instead of having a body, managing a bunch of unintelligent minons, and most importantly the reaction of his human neighbors when they discover him. If he can overcome these challenges he may be able to enjoy some of the benefits. Such as the fact that dungeon cores are immortal and he would eventually have an entire army of dungeon minions that would obey any of his commands. Perhaps even find some female companions that are looking for a safe place during the apocalypse. Warning: If this fiction was a movie I'd rate it R for occasional scenes of violence, gore, nudity, and sexual content. This isn't something you would find in the young adult section. This does not mean that this would be rated NC-17 or X, if that is what you are looking for try lewd dungeon.
8 108Colourland Series 2: King Bobby's Justice
King Bobby has demanded justice against Crayon and his friends for refusing to fight in the war. The link is here: https://inkstone.webnovel.com/novels/view/16581485205458105?targetTab=published
8 86A Monster's Jaunt
Joshua the Mighty is a hero renowned by none. He is awful at fighting, refuses to take a bath, and is frankly a detriment to all that encounter him. This story, thankfully, is not about him. In a small part of the woods, secluded from human contact, lies the Witches' Grove, a sanctuary for beasts and creatures of all kinds from hunting and destruction. Joshua, through no fault of his own, stumbles into the grove, and is immediately killed for trespassing. This story is about the small shapeshifter that sees him die, and has an idea that will change the world.
8 366The Immortal Epic
After all that happened... I do think I would thank dr Errhart if I were back to the day this all started, knowing all that happened after. Of course, if I were back on the day this all started with the implied knowledge, I would take and play with his soul in retribution. Oh, how have I grown since then. I'm almost nostalgic. Almost. To tell you the truth, I don't really remember the first days. Yes, I remember me working at the facility, with all the downs and downs but after the experiment, those first days afterwards, I can't bring for the life of me those moments in the cold dark broken room to mind. I never did discover what happened during the experiment. What could occur to burn the whole facility to a crisp and shut down both the main and emergency power supply? Dr Errhart always seemed to fail in impossible ways. When I got out of that underground tomb, I discovered what the experiment did to the world. Beast and monsters feed on the unprotected if left to fester, powerful men from the remnants of my old world have risen up to take their own and might takes up new forms. Oh, and here you must be perplexed. I totally forgot to tell. While the experiment doomed many in the facility and the world above, which wouldn't have happened had they not ignored my notes on the project, I feel like it was all worth it. For at the cost of the precious but secret arcanium, we got our greatest tool yet. Magic.
8 101Anonymous Demonic Angel
A word filled with Dungeons and Trial Towers. A world where Mages, Martial Artist, and Mutants begin their journey to test their limits and explore the world filled with countless mysteries. Kingdoms as countries, whether it's old civilization focused on magic and martial arts or modern ones that focus on science and technology, all have their own advantages and disadvantages. In the eyes of Nature, they are nothing worth mentioning as many strong empires rose and fell but no one managed to go against it, those who did aren't alive to tell the tale. What would happen when a genius WitchCraft Practitioner that loves fauna like his own part is reincarnated In such a boundless world? Meet Kale, an Earthling who was once hailed as the Unkillable Martial Artist with the alias Demonic Angel in the world of Kazeer and has now reborn in this mysterious world that has so much to offer. What would he want to become? A Mage? What type of Mage would he wish to be? A Plant Mage? ***
8 197kill my mind - m. atsumu
𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢'𝐝 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐰 ↳ in which something fake turns real
8 120