This party blew.

I mean, not really. Everyone else seemed to be having a good enough time.

She rolled her eyes as she pushed past a couple, making out on the middle of the staircase like it was a private bedroom, the LED lights painting them bright red and exposing them more than they had probably hoped.

Whoever had thrown this party had gone all out, sparing no expenses and leaving no one uninvited. It was most likely because it was the last day of spring break, meaning the size of the party was even larger than usual– everyone wanted to go out on a bang.

She thought a bustling party would bode well for her; the party would be too chaotic and crowded for her to think properly. However, her social battery had run out long ago, and she couldn't find the energy to let loose, and hooking up with someone was completely off the table.

She managed to squeeze her way out of the house, feeling much better once she was met with fresh air and a cool breeze. She quickly made her way down the street, trying to get far enough away from the loud music to think straight.

She hadn't planned on leaving so early, or so sober. She was at a loss of what to do with herself, now. Luna was on a plane ride home from her family trip in Bora Bora; Dylan was also on his way back from an accepted students day for UT in Austin; Jason was in California visiting his grandmother; Zach was home, but they were never really close enough of friends to just dial up and ask to hang out on their own, and now that him and Luna were broken up, it would just be weird. That left only Carson, and, for obvious reasons, Carson was not an option. At least, that's what she told herself as her finger hovered over his contact in her messages.

Maddie groaned, shoving her phone into her back pocket, and began to walk down the street. Fortunately, everything on this side of town was pretty close together, and she figured she could walk to the nearest drug store and buy herself an amusement for the night.

The near-dilapidated 24/7 convenience store was the first she stumbled across that would have what she was looking for. As she pushed open the door, the bell above jingled, alerting her presence. She smiled at the cashier, a middle-aged, shaggy-looking man, and quickly made her way to the liquor aisle.

There were only a few other people in the convenience store, all of which only concerned with only themselves– either trying to buy a lottery ticket or securing whatever midnight craving sent them out of their house when all other stores were closed.

It didn't take long for her to grab an adequate-sized bottle of tequila and make her way to the single register up in the front of the store. She placed the bottle on the counter and begun pulling out her credit card.

"ID?" The shaggy-looking man asked, drawing Maddie's attention.

Maddie made a small show of feeling her pockets, a feigned look of panic before she brought her eyes back up to the cashier and gave him her best, tight-lipped smile. "It seems I must have left my ID in my car."

"I can't sell you this without an ID, miss," he said bitterly.

Her smile faltered. "Look," Maddie started, speaking as sweet and as composed as she could. She studied him over, her eyes lingering on his name tag where the name was poorly scribbled in with a sharpie. "Charlie." The cashier lifted an eyebrow but did not look too amused. "This is silly. My ID's just in the car, I promise. I have the money right here, maybe you could let it go this once?"

"I'm not selling you anything unless I see an ID," the cashier maintained firmly.

Maddie's panic turned real for a moment. She hadn't really expected to be carded– convenience stores are rarely ever too picky with their customers. She was about to say something that would, most likely, worsen the situation even further, when a smooth voice interrupted.

"She's with me," the voice behind her declared. Madeline watched as a coated arm reached out beside her and placed a card down on the counter, sliding it closer to the cashier.

Maddie turned to see who had just offered themself for her, and almost spun right into his chest. She put her hand up to brace herself, not expecting the figure to be standing so close to her.

He was tall, very tall, and she had to crane her neck to look at his face. He was muscular, too. His hair looked freshly cut, the tousled, black waves framing his face perfectly. He had soft, brown eyes hidden behind his somewhat thickly-framed eyeglasses. Maybe it was the long, black coat that seemed to say 'I'm from New York,' or the confident and mature manner in which her carried himself, but his appearance altogether screamed that he was an out-of-towner. He looked so different that she almost didn't recognize– at least not at first.

Charlie eyed the man skeptically and glanced back at Maddie, who had turned back around to face him again after getting over her initial shock. The cashier grabbed the man's license and read the date of birth, ensuring he was of legal age.

He raised a brow as he addressed Maddie, "You know this man?"

She nodded her head, "He just told you– I'm with him."

"What's his name?" He challenged.

"Excuse me?"

"His name, miss."

She narrowed her eyes at the cashier, "Are you testing me?"

"I'm simply asking you for his name, Ma'am."

"This seems like an awful lot of trouble for a bottle of tequila."

"Just give me his name, and it's yours."

"Fine," She responded, crossing her arms over her chest. "His name is Greyson Callaghan– I call him Grey. And I'm with him."

Charlie sighed, not letting on that he was upset about his defeat, but probably deciding he doesn't make a large enough salary to actually care. He placed the ID back on the counter and picked up the bottle of tequila, scanning the bar code.

"It's gonna be $17.42," He said, finally.

Maddie went to hand him her card, but Grey nudged her hand out of the way. "Let me," he insisted calmly as he handed the cashier his card instead. Maddie watched, half-transfixed as Grey thanked the man as he took back his card and grabbed the liquor bottle.

She didn't have to be told to follow him as he made his way out of the convenience store. He walked to his car, a shiny black sedan, and waited until both him and Maddie were standing behind his car to hand her the bottle.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say.

"Not a problem," he responded. "I'm just glad I was at the right place at the right time."

"You didn't have to do that," Maddie said. "I would've- I would've figured something out."

"You were straggling, Madeline," he said. It sounded like it was meant to be a joke to lighten the mood, but his tone remained as impassive as it had been all night. "It's alright, I didn't mind."

"Was it a fake?" She asked. "You're not 21 either."

He nodded, "Yeah. I got one for college."

"How is it, by the way? College."

"It's good," He answered, although it seemed he was distracted. His eyes scattered around Maddie's face like he was trying to put something together. "New York is so different from here."

"I would imagine," she answered.

"What about you? Have you decided where you're going?"

Maddie nodded, "Yeah. I'm going to Stanford."

"Wow. Congratulations." Maddie smiled, wordlessly giving her thanks. "You don't seem all that happy about it."

"I am," She responded quickly, shaking her head. "Truly, I am. I just– tonight's been a long night." And so has pretty much every night for quite a while now.

Grey eyed the bottle of tequila in her hand, "Yeah, I would assume so. Is everything alright, Madeline?"

"Yeah," She smiled, rolling her shoulders back and puffing her chest forward. "I'm great. Everything's– great."

"You don't have to lie," Grey said, using the tip of his shoe to kick up a rock as he leaned against the hood of his car. "It's just me. I won't run off and tell people you've taken a fall from grace."

Maddie contemplated for a moment, understanding that he was proposing she talk to him. But talking has never been her forte, case in point is Carson– or, really, anyone for that matter.

"I'm fine, Grey."

"I don't think you mean that, Madeline."

"I wasn't aware you went to New York to become a therapist," she asked, her tone going bitter as he persisted. "What happened to captain-of-the-football-team Grey?"

If Grey took offense, he his it well. His lips remained in a straight line, and his brows were still furrowed like he was concentrating on a math problem. Grey let out a deep sigh, "Madeline, you're standing in the parking lot of a shady convenience store with a bottle of tequila, that you have yet to even open. Your mascara is smudged under your eyes, your hair looks like it hasn't been brushed in a solid few days, and you smell more strongly of weed than the dispensary down the road. It doesn't exactly take a genius, or a therapist, to presume that you're not fine."

She gaped at him, open-mouthed, for a moment, before willing her surprise away. He didn't seem bothered any; the words had flowed out in the same calm, unaffected droll that he had spoke in all night.

"Fine," she agreed, after a while. "Maybe I'm not fine, but I don't see how it concerns you."

"Alright," he shrugged. "Then forget I asked." He paused for a moment before asking, "Where are your friends, Madeline? Dylan and Luna?"

"They're not around right now."

"Can I give you a ride home?" He asked. Madeline remained quiet, letting her eyes look anywhere except Grey's face. His brows dipped in as he studied her over, "You don't want to go home."

"Not really," she murmured.

"Did something happen with your parents?" He asked, some concern breaking through his collected demeanor for the first time as he edged closer to her.

She shook her head, "No, no. I just– I can't be there right now."

He sighed again, "Well, at least come in my car. We don't have to talk and you don't have to go home, but I would prefer if you weren't wandering the streets by yourself at this hour. Is that alright with you?"

Madeline nodded and allowed Grey to usher her to the passenger side of the car, placing his hand on the small of her back to guide her in the direction. He opened the door for her and helped her in before getting in on the driver's side. He put they key in the ignition and started the car, but made no move to actually drive the car–not yet, at least.

He looked over to her, studying her face once more. His eyes seemed softer under the dim, yellow lighting of the car. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched his fingers to the side of her face.

"Are you going to kiss me?" She asked.

"Would you like me to kiss you?"

She shrugged, "I'm not opposed to the idea."

Slowly, he leaned forward over the console in between them, gently pulling her in closer with his fingers. His lips parted as they met hers, and Maddie's hand came around his neck as the slow kiss progressed into something more.

She had managed to pull herself on top of him; his back was pressed against the seat as she straddled his hips. He still knew how to kiss, that was certain, and his hands stroked up and down her body slow enough to leave a trail of goosebumps. She was certain this would work.

As his lips moved from hers and onto her neck, she leaned her head back to give him more room, letting out an ethereal sigh. But without being busy kissing him back, all of the thoughts that she had managed to kick out were now flooding back in. When he gently bit down on the skin just above her collarbone, her eyes shot open. The realization hit her like a train: when she had her eyes were closed, she was imagining it was Carson.

She pulled away from him slightly, placing a hand on his chest as a sign for him to stop– he took notice immediately, removing his lips from her neck and meeting her gaze.

"Is this working for you?" She asked.

"Not really, no," he responded pretty quickly, his hands falling to her hips. She settled down on his lap, a look of contemplation and irritation on her face.

"Fuck," she cursed.

"We could, you know, try talking?" He suggested.

"I'm not really good at the whole talking thing."

"Well, there's only one way to get better at it," Grey said, helping Maddie roll off of him, back into the passenger seat. "I'll go first." Maddie waited quietly, allowing him time to fix his clothing and gather his thoughts before speaking.

"When I was a senior in high school, I was convinced I had everything. I had good grades, I was captain of the football team, I had some really great friends. What more could I want?" He paused to check to see if Maddie was still listening– she was. "It didn't feel like enough, though. I thought there had to be something I could do better. My mother would always ask why I never brought a "nice girl" home, so I got to thinking she might be right– I needed a girlfriend. So, I tried asking out this really pretty girl; you actually might know her. She's a year younger than me, she had this really beautiful smile that I swear is lethal enough to kill someone, she radiated confidence unapologetically, and had beauty that I could easily have mistaken for that of an angel's."

"If you're talking about me, I think you've confused a halo with horns," Maddie interrupted, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

Grey let out a chuckle, "Yes, I was talking about you, and cut me some slack, I was blinded by love."

"You barely knew me."

"I was seventeen. Give me a break," he responded. "Now, can I finish my story or are you just going to keep interrupting?"

She shook her head playfully. "Go ahead, finish your story."

"Good," He cleared his throat. "So, I asked her out, and she told me she wasn't interested in anything long-term. I figured that was fine; I was leaving for college soon, anyways, so if it was meant to be it would be. But the more time I spent with her, the more certain I was I didn't want to lose her; if I missed an opportunity with a girl this great, I wouldn't forgive myself."

"So what did you do?" Maddie asked. Grey gave her an unamused look.

"I asked her out again."

"What did she say?"

"She said no. Then she left my room, and we had a fake break up in the cafeteria because she agreed to help me maintain my masculinity. Flash forward a few days later, when I fortunately found her drunk at a party and in need of a knight-in-shining-armor to take her home."

"Thank you for that, by the way."

He hummed, "I was certain, after handing you off to Carson, that would be the last time I ever spoke with you. I was surprised to get a call from you a few months later, and even more shocked that you wanted to meet. Some part of me hoped that you had brought me there because you had reconsidered dating me, but that was crushed when you left within fifteen minutes of us getting there."

"It wasn't intentional," Madeline reasoned, her gaze fixed on a shabby house across the street, where an old woman was calling to her dog in the front yard. "Something just- came up. With Carson."

"How is Carson, by the way?" He asked. Maddie's head swiveled back in Grey's direction, their eyes meeting again, and somehow she understood the subtext.

Her lip twitched as she relaxed against the seat once again and indignantly responded, "I wouldn't know."

He let out a small laugh before deciding to continue on. "Well, after that night, I had decided to reassess. I had just received my acceptance letter for NYU, football season was over so I was now the captain of nothing, and my friends were acting like a bunch of immature idiots who were more fit for kindergarten than college. And, I don't know, something about that made me realize I had spent so much time trying to be perfect– perfect student, perfect athlete, perfect person with a perfect girlfriend– that I had forgot to actually live my life."

"Sounds like an existential crisis," Maddie added in.

"I guess it was. And when I went off to New York, it felt like I waking up from one really long dream. The city and the people were all so different from what I was used to– a good different. Everyone there lives like life is a ticking time bomb, and it is the most beautiful and messy thing I have ever known, and it's far from perfect, but I love it."

"You love it?"

He nodded his head, smiling now. "I love it. I love it because I finally feel free there, without having to worry about perfection."

"And how's that going for you?"

"Great," He answered with conviction. "Really great."

"So the moral of your story?"

He rolled his eyes before finishing. "Nothing's perfect, Madeline. This world isn't, humans aren't, and you and I certainly are not. Nothing's perfect and good things aren't easy– that's just how life is.

"The best thing that could've happened to me was being turned down by you. By the girl that met all of the criteria on a hypothetical list of traits a mother would consider a "nice girl" to have. It's not that you're not 'that' girl, Maddie, the one you want to bring home to meet your family and one day become a part of it– it's that you weren't my 'that' girl, no matter how much I wanted you to be at the time.

"I wanted someone that suited me, an easy and perfect match. That's an unfair expectation to hold you, or anyone, too. And if you hadn't rejected me, I'm not sure I would have learned that life is so much better when it's not easy and perfect. Life is better when it's not all predictable."

Maddie was quiet for a minute, and he waited patiently for her to say something. She hadn't realized she played such a big part in his life, especially considering how brief of a role he played in hers. Hell, she could probably count on one hand the number of times she had thought of him in the past year.

"You feel any better after sharing that?" She asked.

He shrugged, "I don't feel worse."

With a sigh, she relented. She told him everything, starting at the way beginning, starting before she even knew the story started. She told him how she hated him, and how she loved him, and all of the messy feelings in between. She told him how they waited to talk about college until just recently, and she told him how everything had crashed and burned from there. She told him she couldn't think straight, she told him she messed up– she told him she still loved him.

There was another lull after Maddie had finished speaking as Grey tried to process the entirety of her story, his brows furrowed in and his lips set in a straight line. His index finger traced over his bottom lip as he contemplated the right thing to say to her.

After a few minutes, he sat up straight in his seat, and turned his head in her direction. "Well, you have to admit that his feelings are justified," he said. Maddie rolled her eyes and shifted her body toward the car door as she grabbed on to the door handle.

"Wait a minute," He called her back with an authoritative tone, his hand coming to rest on her upper arm. "Let me finish, Madeline." She sighed, but leaned back against the seat cushion and signaled for him to continue.