I carefully observed the room. It was... untouched.

There was a thin layer of dust on the white dresser, coating the jewelry box, the trophies topped with little gold ballerinas, the numerous photos taped around the large mirror, and the neatly set decor items.

The bed was made with white sheets and a pale pink duvet. Each of the pillows had been set perfectly in place and a teddy bear rested, leaning straight up against a pillow on the right side of the bed. There wasn't so much as a bump or dent on the bed; no one had slept here, or even touched here, in a long time.

Daylight poured in from the two large windows with the blinds half-drawn on the opposite side of the room.

I sighed and quickly tried to gain my composure for his sake.

Carson was in front of me. He walked around in a slow circle, studying the room he had certainly been in a thousand times before.

I had never been in here. Sure, we used to come to Carson's sometimes, but we only ever stayed on the main level or in the basement. Katie was rarely ever home when we were over, so her door was always closed.

The room looked like it was for a little girl. But I guess, if she wasn't ever home, there had been no point in changing it.

After a few minutes, Carson found his way to the center of the room. He stopped and looked back at me. I pushed myself up, off of the doorway I had been leaning against.

"I miss her," He said.

"I know, baby."

"She's everywhere in here. I can see her here, and it's almost like-" He shook his head, decidedly not finishing that train of thought.

Carson pointed to the rocking chair in the back corner of the room, right next to the window.

"The first time she was hospitalized, she was there for four months. She was only 7. On her first night back home, I sat with her on my lap reading her a bedtime story. She fell asleep halfway through, probably exhausted from the last round of chemo." He smiled as he talked. It wasn't a big, toothy smile, and his eyes were grey and glossy, but still, he reveled in the memory of his sister.

"I was just so glad that she was home. I had her in my arms and I couldn't let go. So, I sat in that chair past dawn and sunrise, holding her while she slept and thanking every God I knew for letting her come home."

I came and stood beside Carson, intertwining our hands together. "So, we keep it. We'll bring it back with us."

He nodded his head, turning away from me once more. He spotted something to his side, and made his way over to dresser. He picked up a purple, circular box, delicately painted with baby blue and white. It had four, tiny golden legs, each detailed intricately.

He came and stood in front of me, holding it out in his hands for me to see, a brighter smile on his face.

"I gave this to her for her Christmas one year. Well, not this exact one," He laughed. "I told her I had made it myself, just for her. She loved it. But one night, she accidentally knocked it off the dresser, and it shattered. She was a mess over it."

He stopped and took a hard swallow, "Of course, it wasn't the special, one of a kind music box I told her it was. The next day, I went to the store and bought another one. She was so happy that I had fixed it; I had given her this whole story about how I stayed up all night working on it."

I smiled up at him, watching the delight that spread across his face. Finally, he tore his eyes from the box and they moved up to meet mine. He kept the music box in one of his hands as he moved us over to the bed.

He sat down on the edge, staring ahead, and I knelt behind him. The teddy bear, that's what he was looking at.

It was white with a pink nose. It had a pink heart stitched onto the left side of its chest and angel wings made of a velvety material.

"My parents gave that to her after her first surgery," He said softly. "We were so relieved to see her when she came out of it, sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. And when she finally woke up, she was so full of energy and joy you wouldn't have known they had just taken a tumor out of her. She was talking and smiling and laughing. We all were, all four of us."

I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder. "Four," I repeated.

He leaned back against me, nodding. "At first, my parents were always there. Before and after every surgery. But as time passed, I guess they felt their need to always be there passed, too. They came when they could, but it wasn't the same. A lot of times, it was only me. I held her hand as she was wheeled to surgery, and I sat by her bed, waiting for her to wake up. I would skip classes, miss practices, leave parties just to make sure she never woke up to any empty room."

I kissed his cheek, letting my lips stay on his skin as I spoke. "You're a good big brother."

Carson turned his head, bringing his lips to mine. Once he had pulled back, he moved so that his body was facing me. He pulled forward my hands, cupping them. Then, he carefully placed the box in my hands.

"It'll do no good sitting in a storage unit," He said, noticing my confusion. "I know Katie would want someone to enjoy it, especially if that someone is you. The two girls I love most."

I slowly lifted the top of the music box. I resisted letting out a laugh at the song. It was the tune of You Are My Sunshine. Simple, probably predictable, but really sweet to think about Carson giving this to his little sister. The music went on, sometimes slowing at certain points, only demonstrating how many times the box had been played; how much it had been loved.

I could see her then. Katie standing in front of her mirror in her ballet slippers; Katie and Carson sitting on her bed laughing; Katie asleep in the rocking chair on Carson's lap. Carson was right. She was everywhere.

He took my face in his hands, his thumb gently running over my cheekbone. His eyes were no longer cloudy as they had been earlier this morning, or during the car ride here, or at any other moment leading up until now. "I love you, Madeline."

And I loved him, too.

* * *

We had been here a few hours, packing into boxes what we would take with us back to the house, placing in baskets things that could be donated, and marking belongings that would be taken to storage.

I walked down the hallway, trying to find the bathroom. Carson had told me where it was, but sometimes I forget to listen when he talks.

Feeling optimistic in my guessing skills, I opened the door two down on the left. It was a bedroom, and I knew immediately that it was Carson's. Although it was faint, his scent filled the air. I smiled.

The room was clean, but not in the same eerie way Katie's room was clean. I walked around, curiously opening some of his drawers, which were now mostly empty.

I moved to his bed, studying the framed pictures resting on top of the nightstand. I picked up one of him and his soccer team; he looked to be about 11 or so. I recognized Dylan and a few of the other guys.

The picture next to this one was a selfie Carson and Katie. Carson seemed to be caught off-guard. His eyes were wide and his mouth was half-open, and Katie had a wide smile as she pressed her face against his. There were a few other pictures as well: one of the entire family, one of Katie in a ballet costume on stage, another with Katie sitting up in a hospital bed smiling and Carson sitting next to her, giving the camera an unenthused thumbs up.

I put down the picture, placing it back on the nightstand. As I did so, I knocked down a couple of the pictures. It wasn't until then that I noticed there was a picture I hadn't seen, one in different framing. Instead of a dark wooden frame, it was golden.

I carefully picked it up, instantly smiling.

It was a picture that was obviously taken without permission, and without anyone knowing at the time. It was of me and Carson.

The picture was from homecoming last year. I was wearing this tiny pink dress that Luna had picked out because it "matched my skin complexion" and Carson was in full black dress clothes.

I remember it perfectly. The six of us had gathered to take pictures before the dance. Carson and I were the only ones without dates; Zach and Luna were together, Dylan had brought Lacey, and Jason went with some random guy.

Before taking group pictures, everyone was taking pictures with their date, so Carson and I were left waiting, and obviously started bickering. That's when I noticed his tie was fucked up, and I had started making fun of him.

That's when the picture was taken, when I had grabbed both ends of the tie tightly, and looked up at him. The photograph was taken from the side, so you could only see half of our faces, but it was clear that I had been in the middle of saying something to him, probably about how stupid he was for not knowing how to tie a tie. Carson just stood there, his hands lazily in his pockets, eyes cast down on me, and his infamous smirk plastered on his face.

As I finished studying the photograph, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist.

"I thought I would find you here." He sounded smug and I could practically see the way his lips were curved upward behind me.

"Sorry," I smiled to myself. "I got lost."

"That's my favorite picture," He said, looking over my shoulder.

I laughed, "Why?"

He scoffed, "Well, look at me. I'm hot. Talk about a ten."

I shook my head and jabbed him with my elbow. He laughed and came to stand at my side, resting an arm around my shoulders.

"No," He sighed. "It's my favorite because it's the first one of you and I. And you don't hate me in that picture. You might've hated me that day, or that year, but in that moment, you didn't hate me. You were just... fixing my tie."

I smiled as I placed the picture back upon the nightstand, this time, putting it in front of the others. I turned so that we were now standing face-to-face.

"You've always looked good in a suit," I said, flattening his shirt against his chest.

"I look better in nothing," He shrugged.

I slapped him, "Naughty."

"You love it."

"Carson-"

"You should be careful," He said quietly, the smirk returning to his face.. "My bed's right behind you and I won't think twice."

He started leaning forward, gathering all my strength to resist him regardless of how badly I wanted to give into him. I placed my hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him back.

"Not now," I spoke calmly. "Not here."

His eyes fell from my face and soon to the floor as the reality had struck him again. The reason we had come to his house today. He turned from me.

I reached out and grabbed his hand, reassuringly squeezing it. "Let's go home."