Chapter 131

Lykan

The Dungeon After

Lykan could feel her eyes resting on the back of his head. It was clear she wanted to talk, but didn’t want to press. So instead of stating anything, she let her own emotions pound against his. In a way this was her being nice. As his traveling partner she deserved to know the full truth. The only problem was, he wasn’t ready to give her the truth. Truth was, he didn’t fully know the truth.

What had happened in the ten or so years since we last saw each other? Did we part on that bad of terms? Or had he spoken to Olivia and Nayali?

So much about the entire altercation didn’t make sense. There was some benefit to their meeting. He did make it so the Azani Empire had to look into the Titans. That they now had to accept the reality that the Gods had made so many sacrifices for the world to keep the Titans and their minions at bay. Still, was it enough?

Then there was also the fact that he had to get Brenna to stop staring at the back of his head, the whole thing was unnerving. Part of why the sensation of being stared at from behind was so unnerving was that it had never happened to him before. He had always been aware of monsters looking at him, of being watched by other predators, but this was different. In this case Lykan felt the vaguest of intents seeping through the stare. Rather than extreme hostility, this time he felt what could only be thought of as care and concern. In all this was a rather unique experience that Lykan had never noted before. As such he didn’t quite know how to handle the odd sensations. In a way it was as if he could feel her thoughts bleeding through. Or at the very least he could feel the baseline emotions seeping through. In this case the baseline emotions were concern?

“Did you want to do any training while we are here?” Lykan asked, turning about to catch Brenna staring at him. Then she looked immediately flustered, like she had her hand caught in the sweets jar.

“Wha…no.” Brenna said.

With that Lykan just nodded to himself. Truthfully training was tough, especially as he didn’t quite know what could be trained. The training rooms were set up that one had to know what they wanted to learn in order to be able to be taught. In a way this made sense, one couldn’t very well learn math with only historical reference materials. But still, it would have been nice to be able to at least see a courses offered option.

With his mind on classes, he brought up another aspect of qi that he thought he was now understanding.

“Well then, have I told you about specializations?” Lykan asked.

“Specializations?” Brenna asked, her eyes doing that quizzical twist that made her look even more attractive than normal.

Looking away for a second, Lykan regained his composure then turned back to Brenna. She was beautiful, too beautiful. If he wasn’t careful he was likely to say or do something inappropriate, then she would leave him. No, it is best to keep this professional. He was already at the point where he couldn’t imagine doing this without her. He had been on the long road for so long by himself that he had nearly lost the want to go on. Then right when he was looking for a change of pace, she came into his life. She is a gift from the Gods, a sympathetic soul to share his burden with. That was why Lykan tried so desperately to keep his thoughts to himself, about her. So he kept their conversations professional, never knowing that his eyes always betrayed his true thoughts.

“Yes, well I don’t know if they are true specializations or not. But there are certain aspects of qi that feel different than others. One such aspect is when I cause my hands to either burn hot, or extremely cold. Have you seen this?” Lykan asked.

“Yes.” Brenna sounded excited, and her body tensed up like she was about to hear something especially amazing.

“Well that is something that I think might be unique to me. I was hoping you would learn it on your own, and that it was universal. But I know you have tried. I’ve seen you try to do similar aspects with your qi but were unable to create magical effects like I was.” Lykan explained.

With that Brenna nodded the dropped her eyes dejectedly. “Yes, I just can’t seem to replicate your actions.”

Seeing the dejected look on Brenna’s face made Lykan jump to defend himself. “No, I’m sorry. I should have explained that better. I think energy is my specialty. I think we all have a specialty with qi that is unique to each of us. At least that is my belief. When I asked the training room about energy manipulation all I got was a nonsensical answer about learning to progress down your own unique path at your own pace.”

With that Brenna nodded. A silence fell over the two as Brenna seemed to take in the words that Lykan was telling her.

“So you think energy manipulation is what you have?”

“Yes.” Lykan answered.

“How does that relate to fire and ice attacks?”

Hearing that Lykan shook his head, then ultimately had to go back to science. “How much do you know about heat and cold?”

Brenna just looked at him like he was stupid.

“Okay, sorry I didn’t mean that to come across as patronizing. No, I think the best way to think about heat and cold is with money.”

“Money?”

“Yes, money. Think of heat energy as currency. Then think about being cold as the lack of currency. Now I can give you some of my money, thus making us both slightly warm, though my overall heat will be diminished. But I can’t do the inverse, I can’t give you my lack of money to make us both poor. This is the same thing with energy.”

“Still confused.”

“One second.” Lykan paused as he realized he was messing this all up. “So basically, I’ve found that with qi I can draw in the energy around me. I can take away the ambient energy, making the environment around me colder. Conversely I can convert my qi into heat and make it hotter. Both are aspects of the same basic principle of manipulating the state of energy around me. I can’t quite explain how I do this, as it seems to be more instinctual than anything. Every other aspect of qi I feel that I have to work for and work on, while raising and lowering the temperature around me seems to come at an almost instinctual level.”

“Okay, I think I understand.” And Brenna with her vastly improved Intelligence did understand, if not the full concept at least the idea that Lykan wished to convey. He could control energy and thus increase the energy producing heat, or decrease the ambient energy in his hands producing ice like effects. Now the problem came with why he brought this up now of all times. When she asked just that Lykan answered truthfully.

“I think you too will likely have a specialty. I also think this specialty is what will help you go down your personal path of cultivation.”

Brenna nodded in understanding. This was an interesting idea and one that she wanted to give more thought to. “So if your specialty is energy. Do you have any idea what mine is? Also how did you first realize you were good at manipulating energy in the first place?”

Hearing that Lykan paused for a second, then decided to answer the questions out of order. “I think my explaining why I think my specialty is energy manipulation might be the best way to start. To put it simply I have always been able to see the world differently than others. I don’t know if this is due to my starting life as a Null or not. But even when I managed to change my fate, I still had a keen insight into the way energy was being used, altered, and manipulated by practitioners of magic. Thus I think that was either my own mind and body’s previous exposure to this aspect of energy, or if I was always destined to be some type of energy manipulator. But the end result is the same, I have always had a strong link to sensing the flows of energy and manipulating the energy that comes within my zone of influence. Even as a mage I was terrible. I couldn’t really create the effects I wanted, but once someone else created the initial effects I would be able to amplify, alter, or completely mitigate them. I don’t know why I am that way, only that I am that way.” Lykan admitted.

“Is that why you went to become a Rune Technician, even though you graduated top of your class and could have chosen any invocation school?” Brenna asked. She had heard about his past when he went to war college, and how he had graduated with honors.

“Yes, rune crafting was one of the few subjects I could do on my own. Truthfully part of me was afraid of going to the real magical fields anyways.”

“Afraid? Of what exactly?”

Sighing, Lykan paused and then proceeded to outline his experience. “I was afraid that I would either be found out as a fraud, or that people might be able to link my oddities with magic to my null background. The only thing worse than a null would be a null who could take control of your spell constructs and send them back at you. Everyone was okay with me as my only real times I used my powers were to take down hostile forces that invaded the school. Or to help amplify healing effects. Had I done anything more, or worse been tested independently I would have failed every time. As it was, I felt like a fraud. So I ultimately chose a career path that was in demand, hard to master, and one I could do fairly easily. I felt like it would make me a useful part of the military for a time. Then I got injured and others found out how useless I really was and the rest is history.”

“Wait, you think your losing your ability to access mana was your fault?”

“Well it was. I should have dodged, or been prepared for something. We all read the reports, we knew she was dangerous. The fact that she was able to destabilize every non-protected ship within a kilometer of her was testament to her power.”

“So what, you think you deserved to get injured while defending your country? Why?” Brenna asked her questions coming much faster now, as her irritation was clearly evident.

“I…I can’t quite explain it.” Lykan stammered.

“You know what I think it is.” Brenna asked with a pause.

Silence.

When Brenna realized Lykan was looking at her expectantly she continued. “I think a lot of this is that you have been dealing with the guilt and torment of surviving such a horrific event. You said it yourself an entire city was massacred. Every man, woman, and child erased in an instant. Then you came along trying to save a city that couldn’t be saved. You took up the mantle of being a martyr because you were too late to save the actual inhabitants of the city. Well guess what, you survived and it is a good thing too. If you hadn’t survived then I wouldn’t be here, the rest of my clan wouldn’t be here. While you weren’t able to protect that one city, how many more lives have you managed to save since then?”

“I…I don’t know…” Lykan answered truthfully, his eyes glazing over as he clearly was lost in thought.

“Then you have this self-righteous jerk from your past also show up, and you now doubt yourself. Well guess what, it’s not going to happen.” Brenna shot back, actually going so far as to poke a finger into Lykan’s chest to make sure he didn’t drift off in his own head space as he was prone to do during times like these.

“What?”

“It is not going to happen, because I won’t let it happen. You are too good of a man to start doubting yourself now. I can see it all over your face. You doubt yourself; you doubt that you are good enough to be with me, even now!” Brenna shot back.

“Well yeah.”

“Get over it, you are stuck with me until you get tired of me. And even then, I will probably still follow you. Do you understand?” Brenna shot back.

“Wha…yeah?”

“Good.” Brenna let out a long exasperated breath.

Silence.

Finally Lykan went back to his one thought that he believed somehow started the whole conversation about being stuck together. “So do you understand what I mean by a specialty.”

“OH NO YOU DON’T! Stop that right there. This all began because you wanted to give me your last lesson, a lesson you yourself don’t understand. A lesson that you had purposefully kept to yourself until now. Do you know why you are telling me now of all times? Now, right after you had an unexpected meeting with a person from your past. A person that you clearly thought you had a better relationship than you had?” Brenna said, her chest puffing as she drew in breaths trying to calm herself, but failed at the simple task.

Silence.

There was a half second pause before Brenna continued, “You told me that so you could leave and not feel guilty. You would leave me with the map and expect that I would take care of some of these dungeons by myself. And you would be correct, out of respect and obligation to you I would go to the next few and shut them down. I would even choose to go to the high wood elf settlement, the one you are currently avoiding. I would do that, but you know what else. I would feel resentment after a point. We are a team! A team. Do you hear me!”

“Ye…yes.” Lykan answered.

“Well good, so now answer me truthfully. Do you still plan to leave me at the next convenient time?”

Lykan lowered his gaze and answered defeatedly “no.”

Hearing that, Brenna nodded to herself. “Well good then. Let’s continue with our original reason for being here.” Brenna said as she made a direct beeline for the core control room for this particular dungeon.

Meanwhile Lykan followed a few paces behind trying to figure out what just happened. Scratching the back of his neck, he realized that she was right. While they had only been together for a few months at this point, it was clear that she truly understood him. Not only that, but she accepts me, warts and all. Not that Lykan could even grow warts now, but the expression still stood. She had seen to his very core. She had seen is core and still wanted to look on.

After a few moments, the melancholy that had befallen Lykan since his duel subsided. Then after a few more paces Lykan actually felt comforted by the harsh words spoken by Brenna.

Up ahead, Brenna felt Lykan’s mood slowly shift back until he was close to his regular self. As soon as she felt his emotional levels shift back to normal she let out a long deep sigh of relief. For a moment she had wondered if she had pushed him too far. But fortunately for her, it seemed that she had pushed him just enough to get out of his own way.

Finally we can get back to doing what we do best, saving the world. Brenna thought to herself as she started to hum to herself.