It was my fifteenth birthday.

I had just graduated from university and was finally ready to follow in my family’s footsteps.

By then, the war was beginning to stagnate as resources began to dwindle. But the threat of annexation loomed over everyone constantly and that only ended up with morale plummeting even further.

That was why I wanted to graduate quickly. So that I could present my work before the war became unwinnable.

So I ran up to father with my first prototype in hand, all smiles and excited. But then…

“... ungh…”

I don’t know how long I spent out cold.

But when I came to, I was almost blinded by red streaks of emergency light piercing through pine tree leaves.

I could feel that my dress was torn apart, my high heels were gone, and I was cut and bruised all over.

My wounds stung terribly and breathing was a struggle. My neck was also stiff, while my entire left side felt sore and difficult to move.

I must've landed on it.

But I didn't even get to rub the white flashes away from my eyes, before I noticed something heavy was shifting above me and that the pine trunk on my lower back was getting heavier.

"Aaa-Argh!"

Cold sweat washed over me as I crawled desperately. Disgustingly vivid scenes of my spine and hips being crushed filled my head. All the while, my heart pounded like a drum in my ears and my labored gasps drowned out everything else.

Even as the cold tile floor sapped any heat I had left. Even as the dust and earth clogged my nostrils. Even as I felt something wet and warm against my thighs.

I had to keep going.

I had to get back to his side!

Slowly, with every inch that I dragged myself forward, the pines parted and more light shone on my face.

Just a few more!

“UwaAgh!”

I roared out with the last of my strength, shoving the remaining needles away from me until I was outside the canopy from the waist up.

But before I could even scan my surroundings properly, my vision blurred and tears ran down my cheeks. I barely even heard the sound of creaking wood and rolling pebbles nearby due to my gasping.

“... I’m alive… I’m alive…” I curled up and pulled my knees to my chest.

Every part of me was here. All of it was functional and still warm to the touch. Sure my right thigh was gashed and bleeding, but that was fine.

All that matters is that I wasn't a cripple.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." I kept repeating as I hugged myself tighter.

I didn't lose my chance. I'm still worthy to return to him. I could still make him love me.

One more chance to be his wife.

And that chance was enough.

Gritting my teeth, I rolled back onto my stomach and pushed myself up.

Whether it was that toy or the other Imperials, none of them will stop me. I will force her out of our lives, and properly wield the name of Countess that they so foolishly gave me.

"... nothing! Is going to… stop me!" Slowly, with aching legs, I stood up and wiped my tears away with my wrist. "Do you hear me?! I will find you! And you will love me! Do you understand!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs, hoarse and strained though I was. I will make this second chance mean something, even if it was to be the death of me. High with such feelings, I found the strength to tear off parts of my dress to use a bandage around my thigh.

Luckily, it wasn't the thin kind of cloth since this dress was meant to be worn without underwear.

But once I came down from that high, I understood that before any of that could happen, I had to figure out where I was.

It took a couple seconds and some static to get used to the pitch-black and dim red light. Enough to just see some shapes and the like. But when it finally did, I felt my heart sink.

I stood upon a mountain range of debris that traced a long line before me, within a great expanse filled with stacks of gigantic metal containers. There were hundreds of them, each one was around 50 meters long, 10 meters tall and 10 meters wide.

When I checked behind me, I saw part of a wide hallway that was crushed under a large pile of trees scattered about, along with large chunks of hard soil and dirt, and another line of debris that disappeared into the darkness.

Among the debris around me were vehicles, metal columns, concrete rubble, furniture, and so much more. And when I stared up above, there was nothing but pitch black darkness.

"Even the auxiliary power was cut, huh?" I muttered under my breath, before slowly making my way down. It was difficult without my heels and a wounded body, but I managed to stick my toes into the cracked concrete and grabbed some exposed wiring that no longer had power.

The fact that the ship was still stable despite suffering such… wait. What was-

"AaAhH!"

Something wet touched my ankle and I lost my footing! I nearly fell onto a large pile of glass! If not for the fucking wires I -

I screamed again.

It was a hand. A man's twisted hand. He was reaching for my shoulders with his fingers. Then I saw his one good eye staring straight into mine. His face had been mangled, his jaw was split into three and his other eye had popped out with the optic nerve snapped. Blood and grey matter seeped out from his head and covered his face completely.

But he was still alive.

He was still…

"... he…l…"

Then I started hearing them. I don't know why I didn't hear them before now. But they were there. They must've always been there. While I was yelling in celebration, they were…

Lips quivering and body trembling, I looked down.

And I saw them.

Dozens of people, with agonized expressions. Some were crushed under concrete atop the stands. There were others cut in half, with their lower bodies still caught in jagged steel. There was even a mangled safari tram full of passengers on its side with smashed windows and pulped bodies inside.

And those were just the ones that I could see. Who knew how many more of them were underneath everything?

So many dead people. But they were the lucky ones.

My eyes landed upon a woman reaching for me with her left arm. Her other limbs had either been cut off by something jagged and her face was in no better condition. The only reason I knew she was a woman was because of the one exposed breast she had left.

Help me. Please. Help me.

They all called out. To me. The only one who could move. The only one who…

When I managed to safely make my way down, I immediately saw hands clawing away, trying to grab me afar. Their voices were getting louder. Groans. Cries. Pleading. Almost none of them made any sense to me. But they must've understood what I planned to do.

I tried to give them all a smile.

But then I gagged and threw up, because I understood their agony. I understood just how close I was to becoming like them. And I understood their desperation to live.

Just a few more inches and my right leg would be gone too. Just a few more minutes of sleeping, and I…

I threw up again. Still just bile. Was it a good thing that I didn't get to eat? Is that it?

Damn it. Damn it.

"Damn it! Shut up! I can't help any of you! You're all as good as dead! Forget about it! You should be wishing me good luck instead!"

So… so selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Shut up all of you!

"This isn't my fault, so none of you get to blame me for walking away!" And with that, I turned my back on them. There were still people along my way. Dead and alive. But I didn't let any of them catch me.

Not that they could.

I'm sure that you all wanted a second chance in some way or another too. But that just meant this was my redemption. Not yours.

That was when I came across a certain noblewoman's face that had been slammed against a concrete block, and this time, I actually was able to smile.

"Sucks doesn't it?"

It's only too bad that it wasn't the Baroness.

I didn't care that their voices only seemed to get louder the farther I got. I already threw up whatever guilt I may have had. I could only hope that she and the doll fell to their deaths, too.

"Tsk…"

Of course, walking on my toes was far from comfortable. But until I could somehow manage to find and break into a shipment of high heels, that wasn't going to change.

Still, when the voices finally faded away and I was left in complete silence, save for the occasional creak - I felt safe. The cargo hold, being closer to the core, was built to be far sturdier and flexible than normal to support the outer layers.

The gigantic skyscraper-like pillars which melded into the pitch-black darkness, were like guardian monoliths protecting me.

Earlier, I studied the map in my periphery and found out that each pillar actually had cargo elevators that traveled to every layer.

Unfortunately, none of them worked. Either the power here was completely cut or the elevators were just physically compromised, so I chose to look for some stairs instead. Luckily, the map also showed those. But they were still a long distance away. There were closer stairs near where I came from. But…

I didn't want to go back there.

Everything reminded me too much of… Damn it. As much as I try to chase the images away, I just can't.

I leaned against a storage container and I slid onto the floor. I must've been more exhausted than I thought, because a new scene faded in and replaced the darkness around me.

I was back in my father's office. He was chiding me. But I understood the look in his eyes. He didn't even let me demonstrate my prototype.

He just listened to how it worked, got up from his seat, hugged me, and said it was okay. That I didn't have to work so hard for his approval.

What made him think that I wanted his approval anyway? He kept droning on and on about how my older brothers were going to handle the factories and how I didn't need to worry about the war.

And that was when I knew. He didn't want to entertain me, because it would jeopardize their positions. He was still thinking about something so insignificant. That was when I lost all respect for the father I once loved so much. I still appreciated all he had done for me, but his wide back looked so small and shameful after that. I couldn't help but think that was what mother saw.

But if my father wasn't open to it, then maybe my uncle would be. Yes, he was father's competitor, but this was about winning the war. Since he didn't have any children, he should have no problem taking me in.

So I went to him, already jaded, just to be further shattered. "I can produce it." he said. "But it will be my name on the work. It can't be done any other way."

That was when I knew that the Federation's meritocracy was nothing more than propaganda for the other factions. Neither of the powerful adults in my life wanted to give me any credit. Neither wanted me to challenge their decisions.

I had given up after that. I resigned myself to the kind of life they wanted me to have. No achievements. No actual help to anyone.

But then, he appeared.

The Count's armada surrounded our planet and a great siege occurred. While everyone else saw him bring naught but despair. I saw him as my only chance of being something more than what my family wanted me to be.

But even though this was the perfect time to make use of my ideas, they still didn't hear me out. I spent the entire day crying after that, while they all kept arguing downstairs.

The next day, I didn't waste any time when news came that there would be a negotiation attempt. I prepared myself, dressed up, practiced what I would say, and stowed myself away on the vessel meant to meet with him.

That was the last time I saw anyone from my family.