《Modern Phantasia: siVisPride (Original!Urban Fantasy, Survival Thriller)》(Episode VIII) (Downcast) (Act 1)
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In spite of her survival instincts telling her, screaming at her, to run away—inform the others of the transhuman-shaped bomb before her, Jackie elected to stay calm. For she knew how exactly Stark felt.
She too was in the headspace of giving up and destroying this terrible world that tormented her so.
“I know we only had that one chat…” Jackie eased the tension with her lowering, softening tone. “And I was nothing but paranoid and dismissive towards you… But I’ll be up for more conversations, if you really need it right now… If you have me, honor me…?”
Stark continued to look on with such mutable sorrow. Pushing her fear aside made Jackie realize other aspects of those eyes, some very sympathetic traits.
Stress lines that ran so deep, one could make out the curve from eyes to gliding from the bridge of the nose. Bags under the eyes that were turning a deep black. And the general shape of the eyes themselves, so sunken and sallow, seemingly by design. Jackie couldn’t tell if this was due to the recent events… No, as she studied further, these details were always apart of this seemingly-zany woman’s face.
To finish it all off, her pupils were of an icy, yet glassy blue.
Stark immediately looked away. Jackie clinched her jaw in response, to continue to play things cool, but she was nervous at that action.
With a moment of thought she allowed herself to have, Jackie realized that Stark covers those eyes for a reason. Self-image.
Without any words herself, Jackie looked away from the girl. Giving her the privacy she physically requested.
“Seriously though, Stark…” Jackie continued, almost pleading. “It can be about anything, and I don’t need to—mean to, sorry, I don’t mean to be nagging. There’s such a fine line between nagging and support, but uhm—”
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“You try to figure it out because you need to,” Stark finished the thought for her. “During times of conflict.”
Jackie wanted to look to her again, to show her surprise, but no. She’ll ruin this tenuous good will. The tall girl directed her gaze at the pouring rain outside.
“I really appreciate it, Jackie. You were always goodhearted; it was that anger that I was worried about.”
Jackie glumly tightened her lips before responding a tangible 10 seconds later, “You were right. Still right, really.”
“I don’t blame you. Really, I don’t blame anyone. These times we live in seem to be laser-guided into bringing out the worse in us…”
Jackie looked at the buildings that were covered in such thick armored platting. “Some of it on us—ourselves, I mean. Letting that bad aspect gain control, define us. I had to learn that lesson, what, three separate times so far? We definitely made things worse. It’s our nature, I guess.”
“And no one embodies human stubbornness and foolishness more than me right now,”
Jackie couldn’t help it, she turned her head towards Stark, as the latter was looking down with such a bitter hatred brewing in her expression.
“If only I actually helped…” Stark ranted so tiredly. “If only I actually put my needs aside and—and helped for once, maybe we wouldn’t be here—”
“Stark,” Jackie retorted quickly. “You can’t blame yourself for what others stupidly did all because you have the power to possibly stop it—”
“It would’ve done something, at least—”
“Yeah, more ammo for everyone to be suspicious of you. They’d spin every single action you’d take into some bid of power on your part or something. Scrutinized at every single step, and at the end of the day, wouldn’t have mattered or spawned some other thing that’s equally worse.”
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“Heh,” Stark physically sagged. “Funny how they got their wish in the end…”
Jackie said silent. Feeling that this next dialogue was coming straight from the heart.
“I just… I just wanted—to prove them wrong, y’know? All my life, all because of a decision I couldn’t even make—forget the fact that I’m ultimately some mentally handicapped girl in the end, immediately branded from fucking birth that I’m some problem. Some scourge to the universe. I wanted to—I had to prove them wrong. That I do have the ability to choose, and I actively choose away from destruction and power—and have no interest in that. And nothing to show for it.”
“Are you giving in, then?” Jackie asked, gently. “Becoming that scourge they wanted you to be?”
“It’s funny. I feel with this entire thing… We’re on the precipice. On that teetering line. Ever so close to that edge to the point our fingers are turning white, aching, to stay on. But we’re at that point, in our heads, that all manner of hope or dream or desperate plea bargains we’ve made as we hanged there—all meaningless. Just like how it’s meaningless how we fell off this edge in the first place, how it was meaningless to try to hang on for this long. All of it. Everything. Meaningless.”
Jackie got up from her spot, and slowly walked towards the despondent, weird girl.
And placed a hand on her shoulder, causing Stark to look up at her. Studying her.
“I think you still have that right of choice. I respect that you’re so candid about your struggles and you have my sympathizes, as someone who wrongly listened to those mouth breathers versus the girl in front of me. I ask of you to consider this… If you wanna make a difference, if you feel like you’ve failed, if you still want to keep the idea of you still alive… Join us. Hell, teach us—and not directly, but in your offbeat way. Lend us your amazing strength, and it’s not the physical I’m talking about.”
Stark stood there. Staring.
“…You’re still tired,” the girl answered. “Go rest up. That’s a lot of time for me to think.”
Jackie smiled warmly, and patted Stark’s shoulder, before walking off, back to the window.
Glancing behind her, only catching the back, as she walked down the stairs to join the others.
Jackie sighed herself, looking at the window before her head against it again. Nodding off, letting her exhaustion to finally take her.
***
Before waking up what felt like hours later, as the window exploded.
Jackie was thrown back, onto her back as she was drenched in water. Scrambling up to see what happened. Who was attacking or what.
But it was the rain itself, raindrops collecting in the air before becoming a water bomb the size of a basketball, exploding upon impact.
“…Well, at least we got a few hours of sleep for once,” Jackie said in resignation.
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