I spun around and charged at Bawu. "You may be old,” I said as she dug for another bottle from the endless dimension that was her robes, “but I had punched an aged priest before and spent time in jail for it."

Bottles spun in the air. I ducked and weaved, noting their color and design as they passed over my head. They exploded behind me. I see, those are the bombs.

I galloped as fast as possible to get out of the blast radius. Diving and rolling away from the explosion crossed my mind. It’d look cool if I were humanoid, but it probably wasn't a good idea to try with a bull centaur body.

Bawu held yet another bottle high over her head as I neared her. It also contained blue liquid but had a different design than the one she used to buff her pet.

Was throwing bottles the only thing she could do? Even if she was weak, I supposed a gun was the great equalizer. Or, in this case, a grenade. Even in the real world, a grandma with a grenade was fucking dangerous.

Before she could throw it again, I placed a Totem beside her. If I couldn't hold her pet, perhaps I could hold her and keep her away from my village guard pals. They'd be safe, and she'd also be safe.

She faced left and tossed the bottle at my Totem. Deep blue flames engulfed both of them.

"Have a taste of your own—" I started to say. "Oh no, I'm also starting to spout generic lines."

Bawu was unhurt by her attacks. My Totem, however, was destroyed. Since she had just turned to her side, I was able to place the next Totem behind her. This would be an easy fight if throwing bombs in the direction she faced was her only move.

I expected her to turn around and throw her next bottle at the Totem behind her. But she didn't.

Instead of turning, Bawu threw a purple bottle I hadn’t seen before at her feet. Gas of the same color erupted after the bottle broke. The creeping cloud destroyed the Totem as it spread across the floor.

I tried placing another Totem, but the purple gas instantly got rid of it just the same. I had to flee as the cloud was about to reach me. My Totem Juggling strategy couldn't work on Bawu. No matter! I could still provide a distraction so she wouldn’t attack my party mates.

"Run, youngling!" advised the lead village guard as he fled from the furious Carrion Golem trying to electrocute him. "Be swift on your legs!"

"What do you think I'm doing?" I shouted back. Yet another explosion drowned out my words. Bawu was laughing in the background. "I'm trying to be as swift as I can on my short youngling legs," I grumbled. I needed a skill that'd help my movements. Mental note—wait, I already have a mental note for this.

The other two guards launched ranged attacks while the Carrion Golem was baited by their leader. That was a pretty good move. A decade and a half later, the NPCs now knew how to fight.

NPC companions in the RPGs I had played as a kid were always wonky in battle. They were more of a liability than an asset unless they had incredibly high attributes to compensate for their stupidity. Furthermore, their movements were simple, mostly just attacking, cycling through their skills off cooldown, and healing when necessary.

In comparison, these village guards employed some semblance of a strategy and were fairly doing well. But only at surviving.

The measly damage of their ranged attacks was quickly gobbled up by the increased health regeneration of the Carrion Golem. My initial plan was to distract Bawu while leaving the Carrion Golem to them, but that couldn't work in this situation. The village guards couldn't kill the Carrion Golem, and they might even die.

I veered in their direction. Bawu followed me, continuing to throw different kinds of bottles. Some of them exploded, and others contained gas. I kept looking over my shoulder to check what she was throwing. Where in Hierakon was she getting all these bottles?

The Carrion Golem could move quickly before, but the buff from Bawu made it even faster. It could catch up to our leader!

The only consolation was that it slowed down after each attack before picking up speed again. This allowed our leader to gain some distance and drink health potions to delay death in between getting hit. The other guards couldn't do anything to stop the Carrion Golem; they could only rely on Herald Stone. I heard he's a great guy to rely on.

"Youngling, stay back!" One of the guards taking potshots at the Carrion Golem noticed me.

"I'm here to help," I said as I blew past him and continued in a path to intercept the Carrion Golem. As soon as I got close enough, I cast [Withering Brand] to slow it down. I immediately turned and headed back to the other side of the cavern to avoid Bawu bombing the village guards.

This whole thing would’ve turned out differently if I was a DPS build. But alas, we were at a stalemate. Our party couldn't defeat Bawu and her pet, and they couldn't...well, they could kill us; it's just that we're not letting them. A fancier way of running for our lives.

Not exactly a stalemate.

"Get away from here, youngling!" our leader yelled at me as he continued to gallop. He pointed his spear towards the other tunnel that was near Bawu. "Go there, and pray it is a safe path. We will hold this massive brute."

Yeah right, you can hold it. I had to find a way to save the guards because they were relying on me—according to me. And I wasn’t giving up on finding a way to benefit from both sides.

My eyes were drawn to the green vats that still had monsters inside them. A plan began to formulate in my awesome brain.

The normal Borple I had met earlier was eating the corpse of its Blighted brother. Would the Carrion Golem also be enticed by them? I hoped it’d attack the Blighted monsters if I freed them.

Even if the Carrion Golem wouldn't go for them, I recalled that Blighted monsters aggressively attacked other creatures, including each other. They would still provide distraction.

"Youngling, heed my words and—"

"The vats! Lead that big guy to the vats with monsters inside them!" Would these NPCs listen to my orders? Or a youngling, for that matter?

Thankfully, they did. The lead guard headed towards the intact containers, followed by the ambling and angry Carrion Golen, followed in turn by the other two guards fruitlessly shooting its behind. I was also going to the vats with Bawu tagging along; the two of us were nearer.

Using my sling, I flung stones at the vats. They harmlessly bounced off the glass. Too sturdy? Or I merely didn’t have enough damage to break it. But someone else could break it for me.

"Where are you going, youngling?" Bawu said. "Entering a vat of your own accord? Excited to be a test subject?"

Looking over my shoulder, I noticed she held a poison gas bottle, not a bomb. Damn it!

I turned and ran to meet her, placing a Totem in her way. She threw the bottle at the Totem and then picked out another bottle that contained exploding chemicals. I quickly turned around and headed to the vats. Our leader was also about to reach it.

The next bottle flew towards me.

I dug my hooves into the ground to stop my momentum. Then I leaped in the other direction, ducking to avoid the bottle as it arced downward. It landed near the vats.

BOOM!

Our leader was caught in the blast, receiving a large chunk of damage. Fortunately, he still survived, as I could see his health bar through the smoke obscuring my vision. I also saw the lengthy health bar of the Carrion Golem appearing. And then other health bars also appeared.

"Follow me!" I said.

I placed two Totems in the fray as the dust began to settle. They cast [Enraging Taunt] at the monsters around them. The village guards disengaged from the fight as Bawu’s pet and the freed Blighted monsters attacked my Totems. After quickly killing my Totems, the monsters turned on each other.

The Carrion Golem was going to be the winner. It was several levels above the Blighted monsters, and it had been buffed by Bawu. It easily thrashed them, not even suffering a scratch as they piled on it. But the Blighted monsters did buy us several seconds.

“To the exit!” ordered our leader. “Make haste while their eyes are not on us!”

The cavern had three exits. The first one was from where we had entered; that tunnel was likely blocked by poison gas further down. The second was where Bawu and the Carrion Golem came from. It might not be a good idea to go there. And so, our leader directed us to the third one—I also had no clue where it led to.

“Oh, you’re hijacking my plan?” I said as I followed him. “Watch out for the bottles.” But Bawu wasn’t throwing any more at us.

“My dear Ladambor.” Bawu disapprovingly shook her head as she looked at her pet.

“I’ll return later, I suppose,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t even know where we were headed. And it turned out I wasn’t going to know as the third tunnel was blocked by a massive creature that revealed itself from the shadows.

The health bar of the [Lvl 42 Chimera Borpillar: Melasbo] appeared first, followed by its ginormous body. Its flat head was as wide as my torso; its clicking mandibles were like scythes. In place of insect legs, limbs and appendages from different monsters lined the length of its body. There were hands, feet, and even tentacles.

"Oh, come on!" I threw up my hands in frustration. "Don't tell me that this is the sort of quest where I lose no matter what?"

To answer my question that I didn't want to be answered, the Chimera Borpillar sprayed our party with sticky webbing, tying us down. We tried to free ourselves, but Bawu threw a large bottle at us.

A sweet scent went up my nose. I was beginning to feel sleepy, something I hadn't experienced before as tiredness and fatigue were non-existent in this game. The only explanation was that it was a status.

"It's like...like that time...time with Buvalu," I mumbled before blacking out.

I opened my eyes. I was in a smaller cavern, facing the wall. Strange lights on the rock and mechanical sounds told me a lot was going on behind me that I couldn't see. I tried to get up from the floor but found myself tied by sticky strings, no doubt from the Chimera Borpillar. Clicking mandibles and grunting noises meant that both of Bawu's pets were nearby.

Hoofsteps came near. "Oh, you're awake, youngling." Bawu stood beside me. "A youngling as a specimen...an exciting prospect. Perhaps there are new things to discover with you as a test—"

"Wait!" I said. "Mad, erm, Potion Brewer Bawu, I'm on your side. Could you not use me as a test subject? Your sister sent me."