❝Damn, I like me better when I'm with you❞

- Lauv, I Like Me Better.

The ride back was very quiet. Riley had fallen asleep in the back seat, tears stained on her face, and I sighed inwardly. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the park. I had felt very defenseless, panicking and watching Riley cry.

"What's on your mind?" River's voice and question pulled me out of my thoughts and I struggled to speak for a moment. I shook my head, then swallowed, "I've just... I've never felt so useless in my life."

"What do you mean?" He threw a quick glance at me.

"I had no idea what to do when Riley's tics started playing up. I feel so stupid for just watching her hurt herself and cry."

"What could you have done, though, Renee?"

I shrugged, biting my lip.

River was quiet before saying, "The first time Chloe experienced Riley's tic, she almost went ballistic because we had been getting food and Riley's tic started. Her hand jerked forward and that made her drop her food. It stained Chloe's cloth," he paused. "She hadn't even bothered to know what had happened to Riley. She just kept ranting."

"That was unfair," I said softly.

"I remember how upset it made Riley," he said and my heart broke for her. I wouldn't want to ever make her feel that way.

"It's only normal for you to have panicked," he threw a quick glance at me again. "Honestly, there wasn't anything you could have done. She's lived with it for like four years now and my parents still don't know what to do when she tics sometimes."

"What was her first tic?"

He seemed to be in thought for a while. "She was blinking her eyes. We had been seated for dinner when we noticed she was blinking way too much."

"Did she complain about it?"

"The thing is, my dad wears glasses, and I remember my mom lightly teasing and saying my dad had passed his eyes defects to her. They took her to the optician the next day, though. They ran a test, and she was fine, but what the optician did was refer her to the pediatrician. She was the one who diagnosed Renee with the syndrome."

I swallowed hard before looking at him, "And there really is no treatment for it?"

"There isn't," he shook his head.

"How does that make you feel as her brother?"

He shrugged, "It was so hard at first. I would forget totally that she had a disorder until her arm jerks forward or she randomly rolls her eyes. It was harder watching her get hurt and not be able to do anything about it. But the whole ordeal and watching her grow has made me appreciate life. People honestly have no idea how amazing it is to be healthy. It's also made me appreciate her more," he paused before adding, "I love her to death."

River reminded me of Tanner so much, I smiled, despite the waves of emotion flowing through me.

"You remind me so much of my brother," I told him.

"How so?" He had a small smile on his face.

I exhaled, "That's just something Tanner would say about me."

"He's a cool guy."

"He was happy that I was stepping out to take pictures. He knows I don't like it."

"I actually am also happy I made you do it. Look how great those pictures were," he looked at me with a boyish grin, "So thank you. I've had the idea of putting up a photography website for a while now."

"I'm excited for you. I know it's going to be great."

He pulled up to my house few minutes later and I looked at him, a smile on my face. "Thank you for the ice cream," my eyes fell on Riley who was still asleep. "And make sure you freeze up Riley's ice cream. Don't take it."

He laughed heartily, "I promise I won't. Hey, thanks again for doing it for me."

I grinned, "I had fun."

"Since you're not working tomorrow, would you like to hang out?"

I nodded almost immediately, "I'll love to."

"Great," he smiled."I'll pick you up by 1? Does that sound good?"

"Sounds good," my eyes didn't leave his.

*

I was approaching the front door when Kendall stormed out of the house.

"Whoa. What happened?" I asked Tanner the moment I got into the house.

"Kendall?" He shrugged. "She's mad."

I walked to refrigerator and got out some juice and poured a cup for myself, looking at Tanner, "Because...?"

"So, basically she's mad at me for being mad at her."

I laughed, "Wow. That—"

"I know that's something Kenz never did, you don't have to say it," he said defensively, interrupting me.

"I wasn't even going to say anything about Zee! I was going to say that made no sense. Why would you think I was going to talk about Zee?"

"You can't blame me. Everytime I talk about Kendall, you always find a way to bring Kenz up."

I shrugged, "Not this time."

He wanted to say something, but stopped himself before asking, "How did the photo shoot go?'

"It was actually really good," I told him before downing my juice. "But did I tell you about River's sister?"

"No, you didn't," he shook his head, and I went ahead to tell him about Riley. Starting from the first time I'd seen her to how she had ignored me the second time I saw her to what happened today.

"She seems adorable," Tanner said.

"She really is."

"But it's bad she has to go through that. Tourette's syndrome is not a very nice disorder to live with."

"I had no idea something like that existed," I looked at him.

"Not very many people are aware of it. One time at work, my co-workers were watching an interview with Billie Eilish. She ticked and they honestly thought it was funny. They were so unaware it was a disorder or anything."

"So Billie Eilish has it too?" My eyes widened.

"Yep," he nodded, pouring himself a cup of juice. "It's just a rare disorder."

"I just hate that Riley has to go through that."

"River is a good brother."

I smiled. "Like you," I hugged him tightly while he pressed a kiss to my head.

"What do you think we should have for dinner?" Tanner asked.

"How about some chicken masala?"

"Yes, but only if we make it together."

*

I was finishing up with my food when I got a text from Kaleb, saying he would be coming over the next day at evening.

"Kaleb says he's coming over tomorrow," I told Tanner, smiling.

"That's great," he replied.

"That reminds me. I'm hanging out with River tomorrow."

"Sure," he nodded.

I smiled contentedly, but I really hoped that Kaleb would show up tomorrow.

*