❝ Wish I could be, a little bit braver

A little more sooner, a little more cooler❞

- Kehlani, Let me Live.

Saturday morning, I'd just fixed a breakfast of nutella pancakes and poured myself a cup of orange juice. I sat down to eat when Tanner walked in groggily.

"Ugh, Renee, you're such a sweetheart for making breakfast," he kissed the top of my head as I took a sip of my juice, a smile on my face.

"What are you doing today since you don't have to work?" He asked, putting some pancakes to his plate and pouring a cup of orange juice for himself.

I swallowed the pancake I chewed on, looking at him, "Well, I'm going to be a model for the day."

"What do you mean?"

"So, River wants to take pictures of me for his upcoming photography website."

"You don't like taking pictures, last I remember," he raised an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged, "I told River, but he still insisted and wants to see for himself, which he'll regret when he sees the outcome."

"It can't be so bad, though."

"I'm scared of how ridiculous I might look," I admitted.

"Renee, you're a beautiful girl, I've always told you since you were little. You have nothing to be worried or scared about. I'm happy he got you to take pictures, though, especially since it's not your favorite thing to do."

"It's like he used a charm on me."

"You know, someone told me that if a person gets you out of your comfort zone to do productive stuff, you should never let that person go," Tanner said, looking at me.

"It- it wasn't me, right?" I looked at him, uncertain, and he laughed, "Nope. But you do know I'm referring to River, right?"

I chuckled, "Yeah."

"Good. Just checking."

I went quiet before asking, "Was it Zee?"

"Was it Zee who did what?"

"Who told you about not letting a person go if they did that," I looked at him.

"Oh no," he shook his head. "It was Edward. Remember him?"

I smiled. I could never forget Edward... or Jesse. My brother's best friends had been the best to me when I was younger.

"Had he been referring to Zee?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "You know I've just dated one girl asides Kendall," he paused. "I was never going to consider working anywhere. The plan was just to finish university and stay home to see what happened next, but she made me realize it made no sense. So, she pushed me put of my comfort zone which then, was this house, my bed and just the thought that I didn't want to do anything, and she made me try out for Sony. And I'm here today, doing a job I love and I'm very happy doing it," he paused again. "I just hope she's making it big and doing what she loves."

It took me everything not to bring her up. I swallowed, he had no idea how good she was doing.

I felt Tanner pull my cheek, "Who knows, you might enjoy being River's model and be the next Kendall Jenner."

"Because your girlfriend's name is Kendall? No, I'll take Hailey Baldwin."

He chuckled, "I didn't even think of that."

"How long has it been since you heard from Edward or Jesse?" I asked him.

"Honestly, it's been a while."

"Do you miss them?"

"Of course, I do. Those guys were more than best friends to me, and speaking of best friends, how has Kaleb been? It's been a while since I saw him."

I sighed. It was so different with Kaleb now, and I was scared that what I didn't want to happen was happening already. Kaleb rarely texted anymore. After I'd told him I was ill, he'd said he was sorry and would come to see me later in the day, asking if I wanted anything. I'd been disappointed when he didn't show up, but he did text the next day, asking if I was fine and apologized for not showing up. I'd told him it was fine, but it seemed like he didn't read the curtness in my message, which was so unlike him.

"He's just busy, I guess." I answered.

Tanner looked at me, "Are you two okay?"

I shrugged, "I think so. Or maybe it's just time for me to learn to do things on my own without him being here all the time."

*

"Renee! River is out!" I heard Tanner call from the kitchen.

I ran around my room, a pair of jeans in my hand. "I thought I'd picked the right pair of jeans!"

"Your time management and planning skills are the worst!" He shouted back and I rolled my eyes where I stood before taking out a mini jean skirt, quickly throwing it in. I brushed my hair, grabbed my sling bag and ran out of the front door, shouting an 'I love you' to Tanner.

I got into the River's car, a smile on my face, "I'm sorry for delaying. Do I like fine for the shoot?"

He smiled back, "Yep. It's perfect. Right, Riley?" He looked at the rear-mirror.

"Yes," I heard the small voice say from the back and I looked at the back seat immediately. I was surprised to see Riley in the back seat. She looked so cute with her hair falling past her shoulders, a small smile on her face.

"Hi, I'm Renee," I smiled.

"I know. River told me," she giggled.

"Oh, did he now?" I looked at River, a smile on my face before turning back to look at Riley. "Do you know where we're going?"

"Yes! The park."

I looked at River, gritting my teeth ass I said to him, "You're making me take pictures in public?"

He whispered back, "You'll be fine."

*

I didn't think so.

I looked around the park and swallowed, watching River fix up his tripod and those umbrella-like looking things from time to time. My eyes landed on Riley who was looking at some kids who were likely her age mates.

"Want to go join them?" I moved closer to her.

She bit her lip as she looked down, shaking her head.

"You know, you're really pretty."

She looked up and smiled brightly at me, "Thank you."

I nodded. "Do you come to the park often?"

"Not very often, but I love it when River brings me here."

"So, what do you love to do?"

"Singing," she smiled. "I love singing."

"Really? What's your all-time favorite song to sing?"

"All I want for Christmas is you, and it's by—"

"Mariah Carey? It's a beautiful song!" Memories of Christmas holidays with Tanner and Zee filled my head.

Rile smiled and nodded.

"Think I'll get to hear you sing it one day?" I asked her and she shyly nodded before asking, "Can you sing?"

"Unfortunately, no, but I have really smooth dance moves. Do you?"

"Yes," she grinned.

"No way! You're a double threat!"

Riley giggled, "But you're also a double threat. River says he met you at a bakery. That means you can bake? I don't."

"I don't either. I just attend to customers at the bakery. You should come with River one day. What's your favorite type of cake?"

"The red velvet type! I love how the whipped cream feels in my mouth," she giggled, and she looked just like River fangirling over food.

I chuckled, about to tell her just that when River came up to us, "Renee, the time has come for you to be my model."

Riley clapped her hands, 'Yes! Go, Renee!"

I smiled and shrugged. "Let's do it."

*

"I told you it wouldn't be so bad. Look how good you look," River said, all smiles as I went through the pictures he had taken with his camera.

Wide smiles, silly smiles, straight faces,

I turned a bit red, "You're really good at photography, River."

"Wouldn't be really good without a really good model," he playfully winked, before looking from me to Riley. "Are you guys down for ice cream?"

"Me!" Riley said in excitement and I nodded, still red.

"I'll be right back, and then I'll pack up," he said before leaving.

Riley turned to look at me, a smile on her face, "You're really—" she slapped her chest, "— beautiful," she slapped her chest again and I looked at her, wondering if something was wrong.

"Maybe another—" slap! "day. We can come—" slap! "again."

It took me a while to realize what was happening with Riley. It was the disorder playing up.

"Rile—" I started to call.

She looked at me, "I'm—" slap! "fine," but this time she slapped harder and burst into tears.

I had no idea what to do. I was scared, and by this time, Riley couldn't stop slapping her chest. I couldn't imagine how much it hurt. She was hurting herself, but she couldn't control it, even if she so badly wanted to. I looked around for River and I started to panic.

*