《BRAINWASH》16. MENCURI PERHATIAN
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Jantungku berdegup lebih kencang sesaat aku berbaring di balik selimut dan menutup mata. Degupannya enggak melambat meski aku sudah meminum segelas air dan menarik napas panjang berulang kali. Padahal saat aku menghapus file naskah cerita Evalia enggak deg-degan begini loh. Kenapa setelah melakukan aksi nekatku malah jadi deg-degan begini.
“Tenang, Maira. Tenang. All is well. All is well,” bisikku menenangkan diri mengikuti perkataan dari film Bollywood favoritku.
Memaksa untuk tidur padahal otak dan mata enggan beristirahat benar-benar membuatku enggak nyaman. Segera kubuka mata lalu kembali meminum seteguk air. Kuambil ponsel untuk mengirim pesan kepada Erlangga. Bagaimanapun aku tetap harus meminta maaf kepadanya.
Maira Zanitha G : Ngga, udah tidur?
Erlangga baru membalas pesanku sepuluh menit setelahnya.
Erlangga Himawan: Emangnya aku bayi jam segini udah tidur.
Maira Zanitha G : Aku mau tidur, aku bayi dong.
Erlangga Himawan: Kan memang bayi, gampang ngambek!
Maira Zanitha G : Enak aja!
Btw, sorry yang tadi, ya.
Erlangga Himawan : Yang mana?
Maira Zanitha G : Aku minta maaf pokoknya. Udah bikin kamu enggak nyaman.
Erlangga Himawan : Santai, Mai.
Semakin Erlangga menganggap kesalahanku kepadanya bukan masalah besar, aku makin enggak enak dibuatnya. Segera aku mengirim pesan lagi dan memberitahu bagaimana hubunganku dengan Evalia.
Maira Zanitha G : Emm, Ngga, sebenarnya hubunganku dengan Evalia itu enggak baik. Evalia itu adik tiriku. Jujur saja, sebenarnya aku hampir lupa kalau dia penulis novel.
Maira Zanitha G : Ada banyak hal yang bikin kita enggak akur. Apa lagi kalau mengingat waktu kecil dulu.
Erlangga Himawan : Emangnya enggak pingin baikan? Kan enak tuh ada teman shopping, masak-masak, sama maskeran.
Aku tersenyum membaca balasan pesan Erlangga. Ada benarnya juga perkataan Erlangga, tapi aku sama sekali enggak berniat melakukan semua itu bersama Evalia. Dia udah jadi musuhku bertahun-tahun lamanya.
Maira Zanitha G : Enggak segampang itu, Ngga. Terlalu banyak rasa sakit yang dibuat. Ini bukan cuma perkara aku dan Evalia saja, tapi juga menyangkut keluarga.
Erlangga Himawan : Kayaknya berat, nih. Mau aku telepon?
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Sekali lagi aku tersenyum menanggapi kebaikan Erlangga yang bersedia menjadi tempat curhatku. Akan tetapi aku belum siap menceritakan semuanya. Buat Erlangga, cukup dia tahu kalau hubunganku dengan Evalia enggak baik. Biar dia enggak terlalu berlebihan bila membahas tentang Evalia di depanku.
Maira Zanitha G : Enggak usah, aku mau tidur nih.
Erlangga Himawan : Dasar bayi!
Maira Zanitha G : Biarin!
Kuakhiri perbincanganku dengan membubuhkan emotikon menjulurkan lidah kepada Erlangga. Setelah itu kutaruh ponsel di atas nakas dan kembali memejamkan mata. Enggak lama terdengar suara mobil memasuki garasi. Itu pasti Papa. Setelah itu terdengar suara mobil lain yang turut memasuki garasi. Jantungku kembali berdegup kencang, itu pasti Mama Ambar dan Evalia. Segera kutarik selimut hingga menutup leher. Aku menunggu hingga ada yang memanggil nama atau mengetuk pintu kamarku.
Tok, tok, tok.
“Maira? Maira?” Suara Papa terdengar dari balik pintu.
Tok, tok, tok.
“Maira, kamu sudah tidur? Kok tumben. Maira? Maira?”
Aku sengaja enggak menjawab meski Papa sudah memanggilku sampai lima kali. Karena enggak mendapat jawaban, Papa akhirnya masuk kamar yang sengaja enggak aku kunci.
“Maira, kamu kecapekan ya? Tumben sudah tidur.” Papa mengusap lembut puncak kepalaku.
Aku membuka mata dengan malas. Papa tengah duduk di sisi tempat tidur. Wajah kelelahan tetap terpancar pada Lelaki berusia 48 tahun itu meski kamarku hanya diterangi lampu tidur.
“Papa sudah pulang?” tanyaku sambil berusaha duduk. Karena suara parau yang keluar dari mulut, aku pun mengambil gelas pada nakas. Kuminum seteguk sebelum mengembalikannya lagi.
“Barusan aja. Begitu tahu rumah sepi tapi pintu depan enggak dikunci langsung deh Papa kemari.”
“Aku lupa kunci pintu depan? Astagfirullah! Tapi pintu pagar terkunci kan waktu Papa datang?” tanyaku kaget begitu tahu kecerobohanku.
“Pintu pagar terkunci kok. Pintu depan saja yang lupa kamu kunci.”
“Aduh, maaf ya, Pa. Maira enggak sengaja. Tadi ada Mbak Jum sih, bersih-bersih rumah. Aku enggak tahu kapan Mbak Jum pergi.”
“Sudah, enggak apa-apa. Kamu sakit atau kecapekan?” Papa melihat gelas dan obat yang aku taruh di nakas. “Badan kamu panas ya? Kok ada parasetamol.”
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Saat tangan Papa menyentuh keningku, ada rasa rindu yang terobati di sana. Ada rasa nyaman yang membuatku ingin menghentikan waktu beberapa menit agar aku bisa berlama-lama dengan Papa dalam keadaan sedekat ini.
“Udah enggak kok, Pa. Cuma agak pusing,” kataku sambil melempar senyum.
“Sudah makan?” tanya Papa khawatir.
Aku menggelengkan kepala. “Lagi enggak ingin makan.”
“Perut harus tetap diisi biar segera pulih. Sebentar ya, Papa panggilkan Mama Ambar.”
Papa pergi beberapa menit, saat kembali ke kamarku, Mama Ambar mengekor di belakangnya.
“Maira lagi nggak enak badan? Memangnya mana yang sakit? Sudah minum obat?” Mama Ambar bertanya dengan ekspresi penuh khawatir.
“Cuma pusing aja kok. Tante,” jawabku singkat.
“Mama Ambar bikinksn teh hangat dulu, ya. Mau makan apa?”
Aku menggeleng.
“Ada sereal, Ma? Atau sup krim mungkin, ya.” Papa memberi saran.
“Enggak usah, Pa. Aku enggak mau,” tolakku. Sebenarnya aku lumayan lapar sih, tapi enggak mungkin banget untuk meminta makanan porsi normal. “Roti aja deh, Pa.”
“Ada, Ma? Kalau enggak ada, biar Papa belikan di mini market.”
“Ada, kok. Papa ganti baju aja dulu, terus ke kamar mandi, baru deh temenin Maira lagi.”
Saran dari Mama Ambar segera disetujui Papa. Setelah mengusap pundakku, Papa pergi keluar kamar bersama Mama Ambar. Enggak perlu menunggu lama, Mama Ambar datang dengan membawa baki yang terbuat dari kayu. Di atasnya ada segelas teh yang menguarkan asap tipis, juga piring yang berisi beberapa lembar roti.
“Dimakan ya, Maira. Mama bantu mengoles selai cokelat nya, ya?”
Mama Ambar menaruh piring dan teh hangat di nakas. Sedangkan bakinya, Mama Ambar taruh di atas meja belajarku. Wanita yang wajahnya difoto kopi Evalia ini duduk di sisi tempat tidurku. Kedua tangannya sibuk memberi selai cokelat pada roti berbentuk persegi itu. Setelah menangkupkan dengan roti yang lain, diberikannya kepadaku.
“Maira kecapekan ini, sampai drop begini badannya. Masih semester awal udah banyak tugas ya?” Mama Ambar mencoba mencairkan suasana kamar yang tiba-tiba terasa canggung.
“Lumayan sih, Tante.” Lagi-lagi jawaban singkat yang kuberikan.
Saat Mama Ambar kembali mengoleskan selai cokelat pada roti, Papa datang. Papa sudah mengganti kemeja kantornya dengan t-shirt dan celana selutut. Papa duduk di dekat kakiku. Tangan kanannya memijit-mijit kaki kananku. Aku tersipu dibuatnya, karena perhatian Papa yang terlalu berlebihan.
“Kakiku enggak sakit, Pa. Aku sudah lumayan baikan juga kok,” tolakku saat Papa beranjak memijit kaki kiriku.
“Udah, biarin aja, Mai. Mumpung papamu ini lagi enggak sibuk. Biasanya pulang ke rumah juga masih sibuk sama kerjaan kantor,” tukas Mama Ambar.
Aku tersenyum menanggapi perkataan Mama Ambar.
“Maira butuh motor? Papa bisa belikan biar Maira enggak kecapekan begini.” Perkataan Papa membuatku tersentak.
“Bukannya kalau bawa motor sendiri malah capek, Pa?”
“Kalau Maira bawa motor sendiri, bisa pulang kapan saja. Enggak perlu nunggu temannya itu. Siapa namanya? Erlangga ya? Menunggu kan juga bikin capek, Ma.” Papa memberi penjelasan panjang lebar.
“Enggak usah, Pa. Aku belum butuh. Lagian kalau mau pulang tanpa nebeng Erlangga bisa naik ojek kok,” tolakku. “Akhir-akhir ini tugas memang lagi banyak sih, Pa. Kadang sampai begadang ngerjainnya.”
“Nanti Mama Ambar belikan vitamin biar badannya Maira selalu fit, ya. Suka susu? Mama sediakan susu buat sarapan kalau gitu. Atau Maira mau bawa bekal susu ke kampus?”
“Aduh, enggak usah Tante. Mungkin mulai besok, Maira bawa bekal roti aja. Biar kalau lagi malas ke kantin atau tugas kagi banyak, ada roti buat mengganjal perut sementara.”
“Ya sudah, Maira istirahat saja kalau gitu. Papa sama Mama Ambar mau ....”
Belum selesai Papa berbicara, kami mendengar suara teriakan Evalia memanggil mamanya dari kamarnya. Papa dan Mama Ambar sempat saling pandang sebelum keluar kamarku tanpa berpamitan. Setelah Papa menutup pintu kamar, aku tersenyum penuh kemenangan.
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