《UTARI》Bab 16 - Memoar
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SUNDARI duduk di ujung tempat tidurnya, di dalam kamarnya dan Sapto. Sinar matahari menembus dari celah-celah atap rumahnya menampakkan udara yang menerbangkan debu. Anak sulungnya sedang bermain seorang diri di ruang tamu, sementara anak bungsunya masih terlelap damai di atas kasur. Dengan hati-hati ia membuka laci kecil yang tersembunyi di bawah meja yang berada tepat di samping tempat tidurnya. Dari dalam sana, ia mengeluarkan kertas, dua lembar, yang dilipat jadi satu.
Di salah satu kertas itu berisi tulisan yang telah ia baca, entah berapa kali. Mungkin sudah sepuluh kali lebih dan setiap kali ia membacanya, hatinya berdesir. Saat pertama kalinya, ia menangis karena sedih dan bimbang padahal apa yang tertulis di dalam sana hanyalah paparan bunga tidur. Bunga tidur suaminya, Sapto. Di kertas lainnya, ada sketsa tipis yang dibuat oleh Sapto, dengan menggunakan pensil yang ia terka sudah tumpul. Sketsa yang meskipun tipis, tetap dapat dilihat Sundari dengan jelas bahwa adalah sesosok perempuan yang ada di sketsa itu. Sundari kembali menerka, sejak pertama ia menemukan kertas itu. Perempuan yang ada di gambar itu pasti lah orang yang dimaksud muncul dalam bunga tidur suaminya.
Berbulan-bulan yang lalu, Sundari tahu siapa sosok yang ada dalam sketsa itu dan mungkin juga siapa perempuan yang dimaksud oleh Sapto dalam tulisannya mengenai mimpi yang katanya sempat mengusiknya beberapa malam belakangan. Perempuan itu begitu mirip dengan Utari, perempuan kota yang entah bagaimana tiba-tiba muncul mengaku datang dari masa lalu suaminya yang ternyata punya nama lain Abimanyu. Sundari melihat gambar itu sekali lagi dan hatinya menjadi semakin yakin kalau perempuan itu adalah Utari. Apakah benar Mas Sapto sebenarnya adalah Abimanyu? Tapi, mengapa Mas Sapto tidak mau mengaku kalau ia masih memimpikan, bahkan mengingat wajah perempuan itu, Utari. Jantung Sundari bedegup kencang, ada perasaan takut sekaligus bingung di sana. Selama ini, ia menyimpan sendiri kenyataan itu. Tidak sekalipun Sundari berani menanyakannya pada Sapto, meskipun kerap kali ia merasa cemburu walau hanya mengingatnya saja.
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Ia mendengar suara pintu rumah terbuka. Suaminya sudah pulang ke rumah rupanya. Sundari beringsut menyembunyikan kembali kertas yang ada di tangannya saat itu ke dalam laci. Lalu, ia menyisir rambutnya dan mengikatnya apik ke belakang hingga taka da satupun anak rambut yang menyentuh wajahnya. Rambut kecoklatan perempuan itu tersanggul rapi dengan bermodalkan karet gelang berwarna kuning. Ia merapikan sedikit bajunya, seperti hendak menemui tamu istimewa, mengecek pantulan dirinya di cermin dan bergegas menuju ruang tamu.
"Eh, sudah pulang, mas." Utari mengambil gelas meja makan dan meletakkannya di meja tamu. "Ini minumannya."
Sapto duduk di salah satu kursi yang ada di ruang tamu mereka yang sederhana. Ia memperhatikan anak sulungnya sedang menggambar gedung-gedung bertingkat. "Sedang menggambar apa, le?"
"Gedung, pak."
"Memang kamu pernah melihat gedung?"
"Ya pernah tho pak. Di TV."
Sapto menyentuh kepala anaknya dan membelainya beberapa kali.
"Lain kali, kita pergi ke kota ya pak. Aku mau lihat gedung-gedung asli." Kata anak itu agak merayu. Sapto hanya tersenyum.
Sundari yang juga duduk di sana ikut tersenyum.
"Tadi aku bertemu dengan Utari dan Aksara di dekat dermaga."Sundari menyimak. "Mereka pamit pulang."
"Mereka pulang?" Ulang Sundari, entah karena lega atau tidak percaya. "Terus, mereka bilang apa?"
"Tidak bilang apa-apa. Ah, syukurlah mereka tidak lama-lama di sini. Aku sampai bingung mau bicara apa tempo hari itu. Ada-ada saja, ya."
Sundari terdiam. Dalam hati ia bertanya-tanya, mengapa kamu berpura-pura seperti itu, mas. Apa benar kamu tidak ingat Utari sama sekali? Atau mereka yang salah? Aku bingung, mas.
"Kenapa?" Tanya Sapto yang menemukan istrinya sedang terlihat bingung.
"Ah, tidak apa-apa, kok. Ya, memang aneh cerita mereka. Aku sampai tidak percaya kalau hal itu bisa benar-benar terjadi." Kata Sundari. "Tapi, apa kamu benar-benar tidak mengingat apa pun? Maksudku, apa pernah kamu teringat sesuatu yang seperti tidak ada hubungannya dengan kehidupan kamu saat ini?" Tanya Sundari penasaran. Ia hanya ingin memastikan, dan berharap apakah suaminya itu akan berkata jujur.
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"Entahlah, Sundari. Aku benar-benar tidak ingat apa-apa dan kalau apa yang dikatakan Utari itu benar, Aku tidak akan ikut dengan mereka karena kamu dan anak-anak."
Sundari mendekati suaminya, lantas memeluk lelaki itu. Ia bersyukur karena telah memiliki Sapto di sampingnya.
Sementara itu, hati kecil Sapto bersuara. Ia masih ingat mimpi yang beberapa kali mengusik tidurnya. Mimpi yang tidak jelas dan sulit ia gambarkan. Mimpi yang mempertemukannya dengan sesosok perempuan asing. Anehnya, mimpi itu datang berulang kali dan anehnya lagi, setelah ia ingat-ingat, perempuan itu begitu mirip dengan Utari. Apakah benar ia pernah menjadi bagian di masa laluku? Ia menggeleng sekali, berusaha menyangkalnya.
Sundari masih memeluk dirinya. Sapto memperhatikan perempuan itu dan mengusap kepalanya, lalu mencium rambutnya. Sementara itu, Utari mau tidak mau masih mengusik isi kepalanya saat itu.
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