《UTARI》Bab 15 - Pulang
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KAPAL Feri bertuliskan Amarta telah menepi di Dermaga Sapta, menunggu penumpang yang akan ikut menyeberang. Aksara dan Utari telah selesai mengepak barang-barangnya kembali.
Di ruang tamu rumah Pak Parman saat itu, Aksara memperhatikan Utari yang sedang memastikan barang bawaannya di dalam ransel apakah ada yang tertinggal atau tidak.
"Utari, kamu sudah yakin kan dengan keputusanmu?"
"Semoga saja, Aksara." Jawab Utari tanpa memandang Aksara.
"Bagaimanapun, perjalanan kita ke sini tidak sia-sia kan, Utari. Kamu akhirnya menemukan Abimanyu."
"Ya... akhirnya aku bisa menemukannya, meskipun ia tidak dapat menemukanku kembali." Sejurus kemudian, Utari tertawa kecil. "Tapi, aku cukup takjub dengan diriku sendiri."
"Kenapa?" Tanya Aksara ikutan tersenyum.
"Ya, dengan kenyataan seperti ini ternyata aku tidak menjadi gila, atau paling tidak tidak bertambah gila." Ia terdiam sejenak, "tapi pasti karena aku sholat tahajud dua malam ini, sih."
Tangan Aksara menyentuh kepala Utari, membuat keduanya salah tingkah. Utari buru-buru bangun dari duduknya dan meninggalkan laki-laki itu.
"Nak Utari benar sudah mau pulang sekarang?" Di depan rumah, ia berpapasan dengan Pak Parman yang hendak berjalan masuk ke dalam rumah.
"Eh, iya pak. Urusan saya sudah selesai di pulau ini."
Pak Parman mengangguk-anggukkan kepalanya, "Ya... ya... semoga lain kali bisa kembali ke sini lagi dan semoga urusanmu dengan anak muda itu benar-benar sudah selesai ya."
Pak Parman melangkah masuk meninggalkan Utari sambil menghisap cerutunya.
Tak lama kemudian, Aksara keluar dengan dua tas berada di masing-masing pundak kanan-kirinya. "Saya bawa tas kamu ke kapal, ya."
Utari mengangguk. Tidak seperti sebelumnya, ia tidak menolak sama sekali. "Pergilah duluan ke kapal. Nanti aku menyusul."
"Mau kemana dulu memangnya?"
"Hanya ingin jalan-jalan sebentar. Menikmati pulau ini untuk yang terakhir kalinya."
"Mmm... kalau begitu jangan lama-lama, ya. Aku khawatir kapal kita tidak akan lama menepi."
"Ya, aku tidak jalan jauh-jauh kok. SMS saja kalau sudah mau berangkat."
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"Baiklah. Atau mau aku temani?"
"Tidak... Tidak usah. Aku sendirian saja. Nanti kabari kalo sudah mau berangkat, ya. Terima kasih, Aksara."
Kedua orang itu berpisah. Utari berjalan menuju pantai yang letaknya berbeda dengan dermaga. Dari kejauhan, ia melihat sosok yang ia kenal sedang menghadap ke arahnya. Utari segera mendekatinya.
"Hai, Abi... Emm... Sapto." Sapa Utari menyesuaikan.
"Akhirnya kamu memanggil saya Sapto." katanya tanpa ekspresi.
"Saya pulang sekarang." Kata Utari melihat mata lelaki yang ada di depannya lekat-lekat. Keheningan meliputi keduanya beberapa saat. "Terima Kasih, ya." Utari memecahkannya.
"Terima kasih untuk apa?"
"Untuk semuanya. Untuk cerita yang tidak pernah saya kira sebelumnya." Utari tersenyum sambil mengalihkan pandangannya dari Abimanyu. "Tuhan memang senang memberi kejutan, ya. Seperti katamu dulu."
"Saya pernah bicara seperti itu?"
"Ya, setidaknya dalam ingatan saya."
"Apa kamu akan ke sini lagi?" Tanya Abimanyu membuat Utari kaget. Kalau perlu aku tinggal di sini selamanya, Abimanyu. Tapi, aku tahu itu hanya akan mengusik kebahagiaanmu.
"Entah lah. Mungkin saja. Tapi, aku juga tidak tahu kapan. Mungkin juga tidak akan ke sini lagi, kok—tenang saja."
Wajah Abimanyu tidak berubah. "Sapto, saya tahu kamu punya kehidupan baru di sini. Tapi, saya menyayangkan sekali kalau kamu memutuskan untuk meninggalkan masa lalu kamu begitu saja, padahal jauh di sana ada orang-orang yang merasa kehilangan kamu." Utari berhenti bicara dan menghela napas panjang. "Sudahlah, tidak ada gunanya lagi saya bicara seperti ini. Saya pamit pulang. Sekali lagi terima kasih, Abimanyu. Terima kasih."
"Saya minta maaf kalau membuat kamu sedih, Utari. Saya minta maaf kalau saya tidak bisa mengingat apapun tentang kamu, bila apa yang kamu ceritakan tentang masa lalu saya itu benar. Semoga kamu bahagia. Ya, berbahagialah Utari sebab saya tidak bisa memberikannya untuk kamu."
Utari menatap mata Abimanyu. Ia ingin menangis dan memeluk laki-laki itu. Air matanya jatuh. Ia sudah tidak tahan. Laki-laki itu menyeka air mata yang mengalir di pipinya. Utari memejamkan matanya, menghayati sentuhan tangan Abimanyu di pipinya. "Kamu juga, berbahagialah dengan Sundari dan kedua anakmu."
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"Utari!" Terdengar suara Aksara yang berteriak memanggilnya. Laki-laki itu segera mendekat ke arah mereka berdua. "Utari, kapal sudah mau berangkat. Daritadi saya telepon kamu, tapi tidak diangkat."
Utari segera menyeka air matanya. Dalam hati ia merasa bersalah, handphone-nya kan aku taruh di dalam tas.
"Sapto, saya dan Aksara pamit ya. Salam untuk Sundari." Utari membalikkan badan dan berjalan menjauhi Abimanyu.
Aksara menyodorkan tangannya pada Abimanyu yang menatap Aksara beberapa detik "Kami pamit dulu."
Utari memandangi Dermaga Sapta yang menjauh dan semakin menjauh. Pulau Cakrabyuha telah mengambil orang yang sangat dicintainya dan di sana lah ia belajar ikhlas serta menerima bahwa kita tak pernah tahu kemana aliran air kehidupan ini bermuara.
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