《Perempuan Pelupa》Bagian 50: Tamparan Keras Itu Kembali Mengenaiku Lagi
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Kuceritakan semua kejadian tersebut pada Nia. Nia memperhatikanku sambil terus memelukku. Aku tidak tega untuk menyuruhnya melepaskan pelukannya tersebut, karena kulihat dia masih bersedih. Lalu dia bertanya padaku mengenai lelaki tua tersebut.
"Kira-kira sekarang bapak tersebut sedang ngapain ya?"
Aku menjawabnya dengan nadaku yang datar.
"Mungkin saja sekarang dia sedang bekerja untuk menghidupi keluarganya."
"Aku harap dia sekarang menjadi orang yang lebih baik ya?"
Akupun menjawab pertanyaannya dengan nadaku yang datar.
"Ya aku harap juga begitu."
Suasana kembali sunyi. Kami kembali tak mengatakan apapun. Lalu Nia mengatakan sesuatu padaku dengan keras.
"AKU MENYUKAIMU!!!"
Aku kaget dengan perkataanya tersebut. Lalu aku bertanya padanya dengan nadaku yang terbata-bata.
"Ma maksudmu?"
Dia kembali mengatakannya dengan keras.
"AKU BENAR BENAR MENYUKAIMU!"
Aku terdiam akan perkataanya. Hatiku berdegup kencang. Situasi aneh ini kembali menghampiriku. Aku mencoba untuk menenangkan diri. Lalu dia bertanya padaku dengan nadanya yang pelan.
"Apakah... Kamu juga menyukaiku."
Aku tidak tahu harus berkata apa. Aku saat ini berusaha untuk mencari jawaban yang terbaik akan pertanyaannya tersebut. Lalu aku menjawabnya berdasarkan pemikiranku saat ini.
"Maaf. Kamu tau kalau aku tidak menyukai perempuan sedikitpun, dan..."
Belum selesai aku mengatakannya. Dia melepaskan pelukannya tersebut dan menamparku dengan begitu kerasnya. Kali ini benar-benar sangat keras. Aku hanya diam akan perlakuannya tersebut. Dia kembali mengatakan padaku dengan nada tingginya yang khas namun terlihat sedih.
"Kamu bohong! Sampai kapan kamu membohongi dirimu sendiri? Apakah kamu tidak merasakan rasa sakitnya?"
Aku masih terdiam akan perkataanya tersebut. Lalu aku menjelaskan kenapa aku menjadi seperti ini sambil melihat ke langit-langit ruangan tersebut.
"Semua bermula ketika umurku 5 tahun. Disaat itu, kedua orang tuaku bertengkar hebat. Biasanya mereka juga sering bertengkar. Dan Ibuku yang selalu memulainya. Aku juga tidak tau apa yang menyebabkan mereka sampai seperti itu. Akan tetapi kali ini berbeda. Ibuku berbeda dari biasanya, kali ini dia sangat marah pada Ayahku. Aku yang dikala itu sudah tertidur terbangun karena pertengkaran mereka. Ketika aku melihat mereka dibalik pintu kamarku, Ibuku memarahi Ayahku dengan begitu kerasnya. Ayahku yang sudah meminta maaf pada Ibuku, terus memarahinya dengan begitu kerasnya sambil menangis. Setelah kejadian tersebut, mereka bercerai. Aku dititipkan oleh Ibuku kepada Ayah dan Ibunya. Sementara itu, Ibuku tak pernah menemuiku. Bahkan Ayahku sepertinya juga tidak memperdulikanku."
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Nia kembali bertanya padaku.
"Apakah itu yang membuatmu menjadi seperti ini."
Aku menjawabnya dengan nadaku yang datar.
"Iya."
Dia kembali menanyakanku dengan nadanya yang pelan.
"Apakah menurutmu semua perempuan itu sama?"
Aku kembali menjawabnya.
"Iya."
Dia kembali menamparku. Namun kali ini tamparannya tidak keras, malah tidak terasa sama sekali. Aku melihatnya kembali menangis sejadi-jadinya dan mengatakan sesuatu padaku.
"Aku tidak peduli dengan masa lalumu! Aku tidak peduli kalau memang kamu tak menyukaiku. Dan aku tidak peduli bila kamu akan menolak perasaanku ini. Akan tetapi, aku sangat-sangat menyukaimu!"
Lalu dia kembali memelukku dengan erat. Seketika itu, air mataku mulai menetes. Perasaan yang sama ketika aku menangis sebelumnya. Kubalas memeluknya dengan erat pula. Kali ini, aku mengatakannya dengan perasaanku saat ini.
"Aku... Juga menyukaimu."
Seketika itu Nia kaget. Lalu kembali menangis serta mengatakan hal yang sama padaku sebelumnya.
"Aku takut bila nanti aku akan melupakanmu. Selama ini aku tak pernah berbicara lagi denganmu bukan hanya karena alasan sebelumnya yang kukatakan padamu. Akan tetapi, bila aku terus bersamamu. Hati ini semakin sakit bila nantinya aku melupakanmu. Sehingga aku berusaha untuk menjauhimu. Namun, itu malah membuat hatiku semakin sakit. Bahkan sekarang, ingatanku tentangmu mulai memudar"
Kupun mengelus kepalanya, lalu dia menatapku. Aku mengatakan sesuatu padanya dengan nadaku yang meyakinkan.
"Aku akan menjadi ingatan keduamu. Kamu jangan khawatir."
Kulihat dia mulai tenang dan mengatakan sesuatu padaku.
"Terima kasih. Lagi-lagi kamu kembali membuatkutenang."
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