《Perempuan Pelupa》Bagian 12: Cita-cita Yang Tak Dimiliki
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Kemudian Nia menanyakan sesuatu padaku dengan suaranya yang pelan.
"Eh Di. Aku dengar kamu gak punya cita-cita. Apakah itu benar?"
Aku tak menjawabnya dan tetap diam. Dia kembali mengatakan hal yang serupa. Hingga pada akhirnya aku menjawab pertanyaannya tersebut.
"Iya, memangnya kenapa?"
Dia kembali bertanya padaku dengan tangan kirinya memegang dagunya.
"Memangnya sejak kecil kamu gak punya cita-cita apapun?"
Aku kembali mengingat-ingat masa kecilku. Aku diam sesaat, kemudian menjawab pertanyaannya tersebut dengan nadaku yang datar.
"Yah, aku sejak kecil memiliki banyak sekali cita-cita. Pilot, Polisi, Koki, dan masih banyak lainnya. Namun menurutku itu semua sia-sia saja."
Nia kembali bertanya padaku dengan nadanya yang sedikit bingung.
"Maksudmu sia-sia saja?"
Aku kembali menjawabnya dengan melipatkan kedua tanganku didepan.
"Percuma saja, kita menggapai itu semua. Jika pada akhirnya hal tersebut tidak tercapai, buat apa memiliki sebuah cita-cita."
Kemudian Nia mengatakan cita-citanya kepadaku.
"Apakah kamu tau cita-citaku?"
Aku hanya terdiam tak menjawabnya. Dia melanjutkan perkataannya tersebut.
"Sudah kuduga, kamu tak memperhatikanku ketika absensi tadi. (Diam sejenak, lalu melanjutkan perkataannya) Aku bercita-cita ingin menjadi seorang Ibu Rumah Tangga."
Aku yang mendengar hal itu sedikit bingung. Aku membalasnya dengan nada datarku.
"Cita-cita macam apa itu. Bukannya kamu pasti akan mengalami hal itu?"
Dia menjawab pertanyaanku tersebut sambil ikut melipat kedua tangannya didepan.
"Iya kau benar. Akan tetapi seperti perkataanmu barusan. Jika apa yang kau cita-citakan tidak tercapai, buat apa memiliki sebuah cita-cita. Menurutku setiap orang harus memiliki cita-cita. Tidak peduli sebesar atau sekecil apapun cita-citamu tersebut. Yang pasti, wujudkan cita-citamu itu. Karena, dengan cita-cita yang kamu miliki, kamu dapat mengetahui tujuan hidupmu."
Aku hanya terdiam tak membalas apapun. Dia kembali bertanya padaku sambil mendekatkan wajahnya padaku.
"Apakah sekarang kamu sudah memiliki sebuah cita-cita?"
Wajahku yang terlalu dekat dengan wajahnya merasakan situasi yang aneh itu lagi. Kulihat tiba-tiba wajahnya memerah. Kemudian dia memalingkan wajahnya dariku. Kemudian dia melanjutkan perkataannya.
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"Sudahlah, lupakan saja perkataanku itu."
Aku yang melihat tingkah lakunya tersebut sedikit bingung dibuatnya.
Hingga tak terasa hukuman kami telah selesai, dan kami diperbolehkan untuk kembali ke kelas. Mata pelajaran telah berganti. Kali ini giliran mata pelajaran Biologi dimulai. Aku yang kemarin tak mengganti buku pelajaranku hanya membawa buku yang kemarin kubawa di hari pertama sekolah. Untunglah guruku yang satu ini baik. Namanya adalah Pak Agus. Waktunya absensi tiba.
"Abdi?"
"Saya pak."
Aku menjawab tanpa mengeluarkan buku Biologiku.
"Kenapa kamu tak mengeluarkan buku Biologimu."
Aku menjawabnya dengan nada datarku sambil menggaruk-garuk kepalaku.
"Maaf Pak saya lupa."
Lalu pak Agus dengan ramahnya menjawabku.
"Gak apa-apa Di, lagian juga ini masih hari pertama sekolah. Yang terpenting niatmu itu sudah baik untuk masuk sekolah."
Aku hanya bisa menjawabnya dengan nadaku yang datar.
"Iya Pak. Terima kasih."
"Lain kali jangan mengulanginya lagi ya?"
"Iya Pak, maaf."
Pak Agus hanya mengangguk setuju. Lalu Pak Agus kembali mengabsensi siswa lain. Pelajaran Biologipun dimulai. Aku memperhatikan Pak Agus menerangkan mata pelajarannya tersebut. Meskipun aku mungkin akan melupakan hal yang diterangkan oleh Pak Agus tersebut, aku tetap memperhatikan penjelasannya.
Sambil Pak Agus menerangkan, aku mencoba untuk menulis ulang didalam buku tulisku yang kosong. Karena aku tak membawa buku tebal Biologiku, setidaknya ada bahan yang kugunakan untuk kupelajari ketika ulangan akan tiba. Hingga tak terasa, waktu istirahat telah tiba. Bel istirahat berbunyi, dan lagi-lagi mereka langsung keluar kelas dan pergi ke kantin atau sekedar membaca buku di perpustakaan.
Hingga hanya tersisa aku dan Nia di kelas. Dankulihat Nia menulis sesuatu di binder catatannya. Aku tak tahu apa yang diatulis. Aku mengambil bekal yang sudah disiapkan bibiku tadi pagi, namun akulupa untuk mengisi air minumku. Sehingga aku tak mengambilnya. Kutinggalkan Niasendirian di kelas.
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