Fairy lights glimmer in the dark water and some may call them pretty. However, they remind me of the candles of corpses in the dead marshes, just waiting to pull me into an inky embrace and never let go. The ground seems to lurch beneath my feet and my clammy fingers grasp onto the sturdy iron wall for support.

"Come on, Elle!" Kate calls out impatiently, already a few paces ahead.

A double decker bus rumbles past and I blink back the prickle of tears. Kate's gaze flickers briefly to the canal, then she loops an arm through mine and tugs me across the bridge to safety.

"You have to see this," she announces cheerfully and I'm glad for the distraction. "They are selling freaky contacts. There are even ones with flames."

For an hour or so, we wander amongst the stalls of Camden Market. The scent of Asian spices mixes with French crepes, while shops selling antiques rub shoulders with futuristic clothes stores pumping out techno. This is one of my favourite places. It represents the wonderful fusion pot that is London.

"Let's get drinking, seeing as you are off at some ungodly hour tomorrow to commune with nature," Kate urges and wrinkles her nose.

"Yeah, well I can't see you in the countryside." I shake my head with amusement at the mere thought, for Kate is a city girl through and through.

"Not in these heels, baby," Kate jokes back.

Bronze statues of rearing horses welcome us to the stable complex and my fingers itch to caress them. I love animals, which is one of the main reasons I'm studying to be a vet. They are innocents and this is my way of giving something back.

I used to ride every day before my life was destroyed in the fire and literally reduced to ash. I had to move away and it broke my already shattered heart to leave my beloved Conker behind. But then my grandmother's London townhouse and its postage-stamp garden really weren't able to accommodate my pony.

Kate pulls at my arm. Oops, I must have wigged out again.

When we enter the bar, a dozen of my friends are sitting around a few tables shoved together. Two metallic blue balloons in the shape of a two and a zero waft in the draft from the door.

"Look, I know you didn't want a fuss after ... well after last year..." Kate falters, then rallies with a brilliant smile. "We couldn't let you spend the very last day of your teens hiding away!"

She is instantly forgiven as I am enveloped in hugs and kisses from my friends and a glass of champagne is thrust into my hand. My looming birthday is forgotten as the conversation veers onto our upcoming trip. These past few years have been tough and I can't wait to go travelling.

"I'm so excited. First France, then Italy..."

Kate interrupts me and raises her glass with a toast, "Here's to getting some action with an Italian stallion."

"Unless you are talking about riding, I am not interested, " I insist.

"Oh yeah baby, riding!" Kate says suggestively and winks.

Everyone laughs, while I bury my flaming cheeks in my hands. My experience to date is pretty darned limited, whereas Kate is er ... how shall I put it, a free spirit.

I stand to go to the loo and the alcohol rushes to my head. I'm such a lightweight, so on the way back to our table, I stop off at the bar for a sneaky soft drink.

Not recognising the barman, I give him a shy smile. "Hi, are you new?"

He beams back and responds in a heavy Australian accent, "I've only been working here a couple of weeks. I haven't seen you around. I would definitely remember." His eyes cast down my dress. It is shorter than I'm really comfortable with, but Kate insisted.

"I've been studying for exams. I'm at the Royal Veterinary college around the corner."

"So are you the birthday girl? How about a cocktail on the house?"

"I'm really not much of a drinker," I protest.

"I can be inventive." He gives a wide smile.

I perch on a barstool while he puts on a show of juggling bottles as he mixes a drink in a shaker. With a wink, he slides a foaming glass towards me. It tastes delicious. His gaze falls to my mouth and I hope I don't have foam on my lip. Almost immediately, he is called away to another customer, so I hastily dab my face with a napkin.

The song pumping through the PA changes to the opening bars of Barbie Girl. Some of the guys on my course think it's funny to call me Barbie. Just because I'm tall and have platinum blonde hair. Well, they weren't so amused when I whipped them with my exam results.

I swivel on the bar stool and find my exit is blocked by a man propped up at the bar.

He leers. "Hey! Do you want to be my Barbie girl?"

Well aren't you just hilarious? I level him with my best Paddington Bear stare, not even bothering to reply.

Not seeming to get the message, he leans closer, almost knocking me out with his alcoholic breath. Thankfully, the barman comes to my rescue.

"Leave the lady alone or leave the bar." His voice could cut glass.

As the drunkard weaves off, I mouth 'thank you' and return to my friends.

.....

When I yawn, I get teased by one of the guys, asking, "Are we boring you?"

"I've not been sleeping so well." I play it down, but night after night I've been haunted by the same dream, only I can never properly remember it. As morning comes, the details slip away like smoke through my fingers.

"Come on Cinders. Let's get you home before you turn into a pumpkin." Kate hauls me up.

We wave goodbye and within moments of exiting the bar, Kate receives cat calls from a group of boisterous lads. She always garners attention when we go out.

Kate blows them a kiss and then as we walk off, stuns me when she says, "You really should start dating again."

I keep on walking and dismiss the idea, "I'm not ready. Not after Greg." My heart does an anxious dance as I push back the image of his vacant eyes staring up into the night sky.

"Elle, that is a crap excuse. What happened last summer was a terrible accident, but you have to live again. What about the barman?" Kate persists.

"Barman?" I quiz, wrinkling my brow in confusion.

"God, you're hopeless! The smartest person I know, except when it comes to men. You know the cute one, who was like chatting you up." Kate shakes her head. "I told him we would meet him for a drink on Friday."

Sometimes she is like a dog with a bone and it's easier just go with her. "I guess that one drink wouldn't hurt and he does have a nice smile."

"Yeah and the rest. He was ripped." Kate fans herself. "You did notice the body, right?"

"Not really," I admit, which earns me a playful whack.

Kate turns serious. "You can't wait your whole life for a knight in shining armour."

I bite my lip. I guess I probably do read too much fantasy, but is it wrong to dream of finding love?

It seems hardly any time when we are turning off into our quiet side road and entering the Victorian house which has been my home for the past eight years.

With a foot on the stairs, I announce, "I'm going straight to bed."

"I'm in the mood to paint. I'll be up late." Kate gives me a massive hug. "Happy birthday for tomorrow."

I smile, but inside my stomach churns. Three birthdays I have survived death, that is if you don't count the first time. Oh god, I hope tomorrow is going to be alright.

Somehow, despite a whirling mind, I must have managed to fall asleep because I jolt awake some hours later. Moonlight is shining through my window and bathes an aging man in its soft light. He has the most unusual golden-yellow eyes. I should be freaked out that there is a stranger in my bedroom, instead I experience a strong sense of deja vu.

"Elissa, it is time for you to face your destiny." He calls me by a name that I haven't used in many years. "Go back to where it started."

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