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"Yes Claire, I do not know how to be whole again - not until you." Lucas felt that the statement was freeing, liberating, like a ton was lifted off of his shoulder because of his confession. Yes, he poured his heart out with what he said. Though, it may appear lacking, he is sure that it is true, that is what he really feels. Everything became different since he met her, she changed every single thing in his life. From being mundane, dark, lifeless and monotonous one to exciting, bright, lively and interesting. He always looks forward to those days where she will stay with him, their lovemaking even their verbal spats and he looks forward to going home after a long day at work especially after he travelled somewhere far for several days. She also changed how he looks at life itself, everyday seems to be brighter than the previous one, and he doesn't want to go back to how he was before she came into the picture.

So even though he did an unforgivable mistake, he just hopes that Claire would be able to feel his true feelings, that he can be able to reach her heart with that statement.

---

Claire couldn't control her tears from falling like waterfalls, especially with how the way Lucas told his last statement. She can feel his pain and how hurt he is. That until now, his experience with his father affects how he view love and life itself. Because of that pain, he built a wall of indifference not just for other people to hurt him but for him not to inflict pain to other people as well. She can fully understand why he was like that, the emotional trauma his father inflicted to him was greater than the physical ones. Especially if it came from the very person you thought would protect you - his own flesh, his own blood.

So, she really have to made this kind of decision, for he needed to heal that old wound - a festering one, which hinders him to fully love another person, to trust that somebody, other than his family, can love him as well.

"Lucas, I know that what you said is true in it's truest sense but we cannot be together. My reason of seeking you out from the very beginning still stand, and I will be firm this time." Claire said, squaring her shoulders when she met Lucas' slightly wavering gaze. She felt him stiffen before roaming his eyes into her face, finding the conviction with her words, so she held his eyes and willed her resolve.

---

Lucas cannot believe what he heard, though he saw the certainty on her face, he still asked just to be sure.

"What do you mean sweetheart?"

Her answer broke something inside him into million pieces, maybe it was his heart, for he offered it to her but she instead refused it. "I don't want us to be together Lucas, let us go our separate ways and live our own lives."

With her answer, he wanted to hit someone, he wanted to trash things and shout until his throat will burst. His old self may have done what he thought he would do, but instead he did something he never thought he will do, especially when he saw on her face that she wanted him to understand and accept the finality of her decision; he burrowed his face on her lap and cried. Yes, he cried, snoot and all, pouring every ounce of emotion into the action, and he cried for several minutes, like a recalcitrant child whose parents refused to give him what he wanted. He lifted his face from her lap after several minutes and stare at her, opening his mouth to try and talk her out of it but instead, only one word came out.

"Please..." he begged, which he never did with anyone, not after his father refused to listen. He hoped Claire will do, but instead of heeding his plea, she just hugged him into her chest where he had another bouts of crying, for he feels that this is really the end. He felt her running her fingers on his hair and rocking him, soothing him, wordlessly asking for him to accept what she is offering. They stayed like that for awhile, when he felt that he can control his emotions, he raised his head and looked at her and asked.

"Can't you give us a chance? Can't you give me another chance?"

He expected her to said no, but her answer left him confused, as always.

"I am giving us a chance Lucas, that is why I want us to live separately."

Maybe she saw how perplexed he was so she offered an explanation.

"It will just be for a while, only until we are both healed. Me, from the trauma that I recently experienced, and you, from the old wounds that you refused to acknowledge and be mended." He was about to refute what she just said, but she beat her into it, with a plea on her voice.

"Do not deny it Lucas, for it was the very reason why you accused me of cheating, of me having a relationship with someone else, both are my brothers. You do not trust other people, you do not trust that we can love you. How can we? When your father, whose blood course through your vein, cannot? You may think that the people surrounding you, only stayed because of some reasons. Take your grandmother for example, do you think that she cares for you because she felt responsible as the only family you have? How about Anne, did she kept you all these years just because of the promise she made to your biological mother? What about Drake, do you think he kept being friends with you because he is your business partner as well?"

"How about me Lucas? Why will I agree and stay with you the past months? Was it because of our agreement? No, I stayed because I wanted to, I already told you from the very beginning that you cannot push me to do something I do not want to do."

"So accept the fact that we are here for you because we love you, for who and what you are, with your flaws and imperfections and everything that is you, let us in Lucas. Yes, what you feel about me is true, but what will happen if problems arise? Are you going to stay? Will you stay? Or are you going to accuse me of another crime? - "

"Enough!" Lucas shouted, cutting off her rant. He even stand abruptly making the chair to topple over, and storm out of the room without another word and without a backward glance. Everything happened so fast, that Claire left stupefied. She was rendered speechless, staring at the closed door for several seconds at Lucas' sudden behavior.

When she was sure that Lucas really left and is not coming back, she let go of the remaining tears she held back. She just hopes that what she said will clear Lucas' mind and will let him open up to people who cares for him deeply. She will wait for him to come back, like how she waited for a long time for her mother to come for her. She will not be alone this time, for their child is with her while he heal himself completely. She knows it may take some time, a few days, few weeks, a month maybe or even years, but she will wait. She will hold onto that confession he made a while ago, that he loves her, that he loves them. His confession gave her a glimmer of hope, that a future together is possible for them. It may look bleak as of now, but she trust whatever they have, whatever feelings both of them have for each other. She will hold strong for them both, while he looks and find himself - alone.

---

Lucas, drove for several hours without a clear destination after he left Claire's hospital room. He knows that he had been callous in leaving her so sudden but everything she said made him opened his eyes to the truth that he really has trust issues. What she said were all true, that is why it is difficult for him to accept it, her words removed the scab of the old wound that he thought were already healed but upon close inspection, has a hollow part that is already festered, refusing for a complete and good healing process. That realization left him questioning himself, like her question to him, was his feelings enough for them to be together? Will it be enough for him not to doubt her and whatever they have? Or will his past hinder that happiness he longed for a long time? So many questions and the answers are difficult to find.

It wasn't long before he found himself in his own cabin which he brought a few years back. It was kind of retreat house for him, where he can think and plan his next actions especially in terms of business. But it is not a business problem that he needed to solve right now.

He knows he needed time in order to sort his mind but his emotions hinders him to think clearly, maybe that is why his subconscious mind brought him to this place. Only Drake knows he own this and no one else, and he expected him to come anytime soon. It's been half a month since he left without notice, and everyone - except Claire, has been trying to call and talk to him but he refuses to acknowledge them nor responds to their messages; and Drake was the only one who informs him about Claire's well-being, like a blow by blow update.

A knock on the door distracts him from his musing.

"I thought you will come sooner." His welcome speech to Drake when he opened the door in which he answered with a scoff and immediately went inside.

---

"You need to wallow on your own sorrows, maybe that way you will realize that what you are doing right now is wrong. Walking away from her, from your family is not the right thing to do." Drake said to him almost shouting.

Drake couldn't get his mind straight from what his friend is doing. He can understand Claire's decision of not wanting to do anything with him. Since he already made a grave mistake before by accusing his wife of cheating on him, not just with anyone but of her brother. He can actually see a clear picture of what had transpired at the hospital the day his friend left based on the snippets Claire wishes to share, who in spite of braving a happy and calm demeanor is also hurting. But based on what his friend looks, he is a lot worse. Like he forgot to shave for several days and had a hollow cheeks.

"I know, but this is what she wants so I am giving it to her." Lucas said solemnly.

"What do you mean by that?" Drake asked incredulously.

"As exactly what I said. She wants us to go our separate ways and I am going to heed her decision."

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Oh no, what will happen with these two if Lucas will agree to Claire's decision?

Type in your comments and vote as well, please.

Thank you for reading!

-blue