Chapter thirty-five:

"Who I fell in love with"

The sight knocked the air out of Muichiro's lungs. You had dressed up in the cutest clothes possible, given to you by your unofficial big sister, Shinobu. Hair perfectly brushed, lips perfectly painted in a shy shade of pink. From head to toe, it was perfection in the eyes of the mist pillar, whose words were stuck.

"I'm going now, master! I'll be back at seven as I promised" you said, turning on your heels to cross the door.

He stood there, waiting, although inside he felt unease.

"Okay. Remember that if he tries to touch you, cut off his hands like I taught you."

You nodded, unconsciously touching the handle of your nichirin.

And with that, you headed out to your date. It was odd that, being a demon slayer, you could still allow yourself to do things like that. Considering that you had done around three missions in a row, you wanted to rest up a bit. The meeting place was in middle of the plaza, and afterwards you were going to a restaurant.

『 °*• ❈ •*°』

The demon slayer was waiting in the plaza patiently. He was taller than Muichiro, but had much shorter brown hair and emerald eyes. He smiled when he saw you, and introduced himself too. His name is not important, so no need to mention it.

You two started heading towards the restaurant, you were looking straight at the floor and kept your distance, due to being the anxious person that you were.

"I'm nervous" he declared out of the blue, to which you raised your head in complete astonishment. He looked at your reaction with the corner of his eye, and chuckled "You're a pillar's tsuguko. Your master is very cold so I expected you to be just like him, but... I got really flustered when I saw that you're much kind-looking than him!"

You excitedly nodded, remembering Muichiro's cold exterior.

Ah~! But he's so sweet on the inside! Like a candy, hard on the outside and sweet and soft on the inside~!

Wait, no! I shouldn't be thinking that!

You clapped your cheeks in order to forced yourself to focus, frowning determinedly. The guy found your reaction odd, but shrugged.

You sat on the restaurant's table that was the closest to a window. He ordered the menu, assuming that you were too shy to ask for one yourself. He also had to speak up for what you wanted to eat because your voice sounded like a squirrel, rushed and quiet.

The first two hours, he was the person speaking while you nodded or responded yes or no questions. Overall, you were uncomfortable, yet having fun too.

He rested his cheek on his palm and stared at you with a smirk, while you drank your strawberry juice peacefully.

Your puffy cheeks were all red and your eyes were smiling, half-lidded.

The atmosphere around you was warm, flowers, sparkles and hearts floating around you. It was just that... strawberry-based foods and drinks reminded you of Muichiro, badly. He would usually make them for you. During the twelve days in which you were waiting for your nichirin sword to be made, you two made a complete disaster in the kitchen trying to make the perfect strawberry pastry, failing miserably every single time until you realized that you two always forgot to add sugar. It was cute, he chuckled when he realized that you two were a pair of airheads.

"Hey, [Y/N]-san"

You looked at him, still drinking from your straw.

"How were you able to survive with someone like the mist pillar? I mean, he has no care in the world! Besides, there are rumors of him being so strict that he mistreated you and trained you to death. Wow, he must really not have a heart at all" he said, laughing at the top of his lungs.

Due to the crude words that he had just said, your put down your drink with both of your hands, visibly frowning at him.

"Please take that back" you stated, with a voice much more determined than your squirrel-like tone from before.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because Tokito-sama does have a heart! He's nicest person in the world for me!" you argued, firmly.

He raised a brow, "Aren't the rumors real?"

For a brief moment, your strong resolution faded, which showed very visibly in your expression.

"T-they are, but—"

His voice roared louder than yours as he spoke up over you, not caring if anyone else heard him. The waiters and costumers had noticed the small debate you were having, but said nothing and rathered go back to their own things, slightly annoyed at the noise.

"Did he abuse you to the point of making you lose brain cells? Because you're being dumb trying to defend him"

One of your eyes twitched, yet a toxic smile set on your face. But although you weren't going to show it, those words pierced your heart and left it messed-up and bleeding.

"How brute! I'm so sorry for whatever animal had to give birth to you. Tell me, was it a pig, a rodent, or a mutation of both?"

A vein popped out of his forehead while you stood up to leave. You didn't bother to hear more of his reply as you left the restaurant; but the last thing you heard from him was, "Sure! Go back to your abuser, he doesn't give a damn about your existence!"

Your anxiety monster had disappeared the moment you heard him insult your master, but was instead replaced with the sorrow demon.

Your heart was still bleeding.

Running towards the mist estate, feeling your heart racing a mile a minute and your tears blur your vision. Your head tried to convice your heart once again that what you heard was the truth, that Muichiro was an emotionless person who had abused you to the point of almost indirectly killing you in various occasions.

You shook the idea out of your head, panting from the tiredness of having ran so much already.

No, no!

It's impossible that Tokito-sama is a bad person or that he has no heart, because... because I know that he waits for me to come back from missions in the entrance just like I do with him, and that he wakes up earlier than me just so I can wake up when there's food on the table, and that he holds my hand when I'm feeling anxious...! And even that he always visits my room around 2am to make sure I'm not having any nightmares, and stays with me if I'm having them, and if I wake up, he prepares tea for me and we talk until dawn.

Why does everyone want me to think that he is a bad person?

I know that Tokito-sama is strict. I know that he mistreated me in the past, but that was when I didn't know him and he didn't know me.

But there's nobody else who has ever cared for me like he does.

Above all else, I know that behind that stoic expression, there's a person who has been through hell and back, and that person is sweet and loving even if that's difficult to believe.

The person Tokito-sama is after all that coldness, the person Tokito-sama has been for the last ten months, out of the twelve that we have been together, is who I truly fell in love with.

I know that to be true. I feel it in my heart.

But then...

Why am I... still crying?

Why does it... still hurt?