She walked around, her creepy 8 spider-legs danced under her.

"You tricked me!" I yelled. "I'm 80% certain you don't really love me at all!"

"Hah!" She came closer. "Men will fall for anything.."you're so funny".."great story".."I love a man with shoulder-hair!"

I was very offended. "Y-you didn't mean it about my shoulder hair....?"

She came right next to my face. "Tell me Stan! Before I transformed who'd think was in charge?! You...? With your cheesy lines and 'fake confidence' She moved away from me. "I'm the master pick up artist here. Sorry toots, this time you're getting used for your body! Which to my weird species is food!" She smirked. "Now let me slip into something more horrifying...."

She gripped her face and pulled it down to her waist?! She then had became a full-spider-person.

"What beverage pairs well with a vintage seventy-something year old man?....be right back!" She chuckled and then left the room.

"Come on, Dipper! Where are you?!" I whispered to myself.

We ran over to Mabel and her friends.

"Girls!" I yelled out of breath. "There you are!"

"Betrayer!" Mabel yelled immediately.

"Oh you,..what do you want?" Scolded Candy. I ignored her tone and kept talking. "I need your help!"

"With what? some sick jealously trap?!"

Scoffed Candy. "Yea sing it, Candy!" Mabel high-fived her. "Testify!" Added on Grenda.

"Look I'm so sorry for everything!" I began. "But Stan's in trouble! You can totally kill me later but right now he needs us! I'll explain on the way!"

We all ran to the mountain.

"Please I don't know if you're really up there or not but if you are please save me Paul Bunyon!{don't know how to spell it}" I prayed.

"Woah did that really work?"

Yelled Grenda as soon as we got in. She cut through the web and set my uncle free we began to untie him.

We ran out and I could hear Darlene behind us.

"Where are you?!" She yelled and ran after us.

"The sky-tram!" Yelled Candy "everyone on! I have a plan!" We all jumped on.

"Run like the wind sky-tram!" Stan yelled. For anything it went slower.

"Welcome.." Began the voice in the box. "To traminam {don't know how to spell it} the world's slowest tree top tram ride! Enjoy the sites at 0.1 miles per hour!"

"Ughhhhh!" Yelled Grenda. "Move! Move! Move!"

"Can't this thing go any faster?!" I yelled.

"No it can't. This is tramuis{still don't know how to spell it}" Answered the voice box.

"Enjoying the view? Take a picture!"

Darlene's face landed on the window. We all screamed. She webbed our tram.

"We're doomed!" Yelled Stan and he couldn't be more right. "We're all gonna die!" I added.

"Listen carefully!" Said Candy. "This sky tram has an emergency drop switch below us is Oregon's largest Paul Bunyon {still don't know how to spell that either!} statue and old reliable goes off in 5..4..." Her hand went to the release leaver.

"Candy no! Don't pull that lever!" I yelled. "3..2.."

"Kid are you crazy?!" Yelled Stan.

"No." She said before pulling the lever. It dropped and we all knew we would fall to our death.

But candy was right! Old reliable did go off and we were perfectly find expect Darlene..

"My only weakness a giant boot! A giant cup, a giant newspaper would of also been bad."

We got out of the sky tram. "thank you for riding sky tram tramius! Tell your friends it was a boring-boring ride!" Said the voice box.

"Kid that was Guinness!" Stan piped to Candy. "How did you know that would work?"

She unfolded her plan-flit "useless travel plan-flit."

"Staney.."

We all turned around. Eugh Darlene..her top transformed back into human. "I'm sorry I don't know what came over me! You'll let me out..right?.."

"What?!" Yelled Stan. "After all that?! Seriously do I look like an amnesiac?!{I'm not good with spelling}"

She laughed and her bottom part turned into human as well. "You're so funny! Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?"

Stans disappointed look turned into a smile. Uh oh.." You know I've actually have..comedy is too settle this days..my style involves oversized props!.. Here lemme get you out from there!"

"No Stan!" We held him back as her top and bottom turned back into a spider.

"Oh yeah right." He said.

"You win this round Stan!" She yelled. "But mark my words as long as there's men like you out there with their dumb one liners and pick up moves, I'll never run out of prey!" She then spit acid at us. "Get in the car! Get in the car!" Stan yelled. We followed after him.

While we were driving home I looked back over at Dipper. He sighed and washed the numbers and emails he got from all the girls off with his hand.

Poor Dipper..

"Alright kid." Said Stan. "I gotta admit something; I'm no expert on woman."

Really? I would have never guessed!

"Truth is I've been divorced once and slapped more times then I can remember." He rubbed the side of his face. "Confidence can buy you a lot, but by the end of the day pick up artists tend to get our heads bitten off, when it comes to women I'm a failure."

"Hey we're both failures." Smiled Dipper. I walked over to him. "And sometimes jerks.." I said. We exchanged smiles. "Well at least one girl doesn't completely hate me." I looked over at Candy. "Maybe you can make it two..?" I said pointing at her. He looked over at Candy then at Stan.

"Hey even though your dating tips were bad, I actual haven't thought about Wendy all day and you did teach me to be more confident I guess I just need to use that power for good.." He walked over to her. I smiled to myself.

"Sit down, kid." Said Stan pointing to the passenger seat. I shrugged and plopped myself down. "I appreciate what you did there.." He started. "Maybe Mabel was right you have changed and for the better too!" He smiled at me I smiled back. "Thank you Mr.Pines." He shook his head.

"It's Stan to you."