I was in my dad's car. We were waiting to pick up Gideon. He takes forever...

I went on my phone and I saw someone texted me. I click on messages and I see a contact name. Cody.

I click on his contact and read his message. It said, "Paz, it's me Jason I forgot my phone ): Since I think you ran away because of you know what I just wanted to tell u he doesn't like you Dipper he doesn't even know u exist so yeah just wanted to let you know sorry );"

My heart shattered. He doesn't know me?

I ran to my room and went on my phone. I had a long conversation with Jason, to shorten things up, this is how it went.

J: Hey? Are you okay?

P: No. I'm crying my eyeballs out

J: Well, I'm sorry you went through that. I didn't know he would react that way.

P: what were his exact words?

J: He said, 'Who? And I responded, "Paz, Pacifica Southeast. Do you like her?" He responded, "Who the hell is she? I didn't know she existed!"

Once I read that I immediately cried. Is he serious right now?

P: IM IN HIS HISTORY CLASS AND WE SIT IN THE SAME ROW! I SIT RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR AND I SEE WHO COMES INTO THE CLASS OR NOT! HE SITS TWO OR THREE SEATS IN FRONT OF ME AND I AM THE LIGHTS PERSON! THE TEACHER CALLS MY NAME TO TURN ON AND OFF THE LIGHTS!

J: Well, he's an idiot

P: No kidding

J: Well, I think you should get your mind off him. Let's play a game!

P: ALL I CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT HIM!!

I gtg Babush (my way of saying bye)

J: Babush and I hope you get better!

I turned off my phone and just stared at it. How could he not know I exist...?

I texted my friends about what happened. They haven't responded yet. I got up and I rummaged through my sock drawer and found my knife. I started to cut myself and I was able to get blood.

I cried for the rest of the night.