Raven's P•O•V

You know that feeling you get when you first wake up? Your mind is totally blank. No thoughts, no worries. Just that peaceful silence. You don't think. You have a clean slate. It's almost like being born again, waking up and starting anew...

And then you start thinking again and start remembering what happened the day before, and what you have to do today.

I groaned and rolled out of bed. I walked into the bathroom, my eyes barely open. I faced the mirror and shrieked.

My hair looked like a bird might have been living inside it. My face looked even worse. My lipstick was smudged on my lips and my eyeshadow smeared around my eyes.

I looked horrid.

I started the shower and while it heated up, I tried to brush out my hair as best as I could. I removed my makeup and pulled off my tank top and pajama shorts. I sighed and stepped into the marble shower.

I instantly relaxed, the warm water feeling like silk against my body. My hair instantly smoothed out and swept against my skin. I stood underneath the showerhead and let the water immerse me. I sighed and could feel how tense I had become lately. I tried to relax under the warm water.

Once I was done in the shower, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body. I dried off my body and went to get some clothes while my hair air-dried. I picked out a thick, black knit sweater, some jeans, and combat boots. Nothing too fancy, just the way I liked it.

I went back into the bathroom and put on some makeup before I left my room. The hall was quiet and empty. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew where I wanted to get to. So I just walked down the way I had to get to the main hall. Once I got there, I passed a couple of Vampires.

"Can you tell me how to get to the stables?" I asked politely to the woman. She smiled, her pearly fangs prominent, and instructed me to go down the hall and take a right and there'd be a door to the outside. I nodded and thanked her in a quiet voice.

After doing as she told me, I did find a door that leads to the outside. When I opened it, the cool autumn air hit me. I gasped, smelling the fresh air. I smiled and walked out the door. The fresh air was something you'd rarely smell when in New York City.

I was faced with a huge stone garden with a fountain in the middle. Across the garden, I could see the fence encasing the pasture and to the right was the immense barn.

I started walking across the stones and around the fountain. I found myself at the fence. There had to be twenty horses out in the acres of pasture. When I rested my arms against the fence, some of them looked up at me. I spotted the Friesian horse that unmistakably was the one I had seen Alec with a few days prior. It stared at me, its long, wavy locks of hair flying in the soft wind.

The Friesian and a couple of other horses started trotting over to me. I smiled as they approached me. I remembered what Irina had said about them not particularly liking Vampires. Something about the way they ran to me made me realize they could sense I had certain mortality that their owners didn't.

I looked in disbelief as they stopped in front of the fence, huffing and stamping their hooves contently. The Friesian was in front of me, towering above me as its black eyes stared deep into mine. He bowed his head and I held out my hand. I softly stroked his muzzle and smiled widely. He stood straight up and looked at me again before snorting and walking away. The other horses followed. I watched them go back out into the pasture and stepped away from the fence.

I turned and looked at the stables. I sighed and started walking towards it. I knew that although I wanted to see the inside of the stables, there was something, more like someone, I needed to see.

When I came up to the stable doors, I was faced with a huge center aisle filled with stable workers grooming more horses. Some horses were covered in armor and silver-plated masks, being ridden by men in matching armor. It looked like something you'd expect to see in medieval times. I watched as they lead their horses out and mounted them, their armor clanking. You could tell the horses weren't too pleased with their immortal riders, yet still followed orders.

I stepped into the stables and looked around. I had noticed that the stable workers, just like the rest of the workers in the castle, were human like me. They all smiled as I walked by, but my guess was that they didn't know much English.

I stopped in the middle of the aisle, catching sight of Alec ahead of me. The way the horse seemed relaxed around him still surprised me. He stopped brushing the horse he had been grooming the second I saw him. He must've sensed me there and looked up. We held eye contact for a minute before he cleared his throat.

"Everyone return the horses back to the pasture. It's time for a lunch break." He announced. Everyone gladly put their brushes and picks down and lead the horses out of the stables. Soon it was empty and just Alec, the horses in the stables, and I were left.

"What are you doing here?" Alec asked and stepped away from the horse he was grooming.

"I, uh... Your mother told me you like the horses. And I wanted to see the stables," I said awkwardly. He nodded and put the brush away. He walked over to me and stopped just a foot from me with his arms folded across his chest.

"You wanted to see the stables?" He asked skeptically, raising his right eyebrow.

"What are you saying? That I came here not to see the stables but to see you?" I replied with a question, raising my eyebrow as well.

"I don't know Princess, what do you think I'm asking?" He mocked, expressionless but not seeming to be annoyed. I held a straight face as he called me Princess. The tension between us had always been thick, but it only got worse as he fed the flames.

"I think you're trying to pride yourself by thinking you have such an influence on my actions," I retorted. He scoffed a laugh and stepped closer to me.

"If I don't have such an influence on your actions, tell me about last night," Alec said flatly, a barely detectable smirk played at the corner of his lips.

"What about last night?" I asked, looking up to him as he towered over me.

"You know what I'm talking about," His tone was serious, the cockiness leaving his words.

♱♱

"Alec wait," I protested and went out my door just as I heard a door slam.

I held my dress up off the floor as I walked swiftly to his room. I found myself all the way down the hall, which in these heels felt like I had walked a mile. I huffed.

"Alec-" I started to say but he already had the door open and was staring at me with a blank expression.

"I don't want to talk about it," Alec cut me off. I stared at him annoyedly.

"Well whether or not you want to talk about it doesn't matter," I stated. "I did not walk all the way down this hall in these heels to have a door slammed in my face."

"Then why are you here?" He asked uninterestedly. I sighed.

"I just wanted to apologize. I didn't know," I apologized. For a second, he looked like he didn't believe I was being serious.

It was quiet as he looked down at me, the silence biting through my stomach as I waited anxiously for him to say something.

"Well, you weren't supposed to. I didn't want you to," He finally muttered. He looked at me, noticing that I wasn't going to leave, then finally rolled his eyes and left the door open as he walked into his room. I pushed the door open further and walked into his room cautiously. I looked around at it in awe for a second. And I thought my room was huge...

I snapped out of my amazement of Alec's room and looked back at him. He was unraveling his tie and laid it on his dresser.

"Why didn't you want me to know?" I asked, confused, to say the least. He didn't respond and started unbuttoning his white button-up.

"Because it doesn't matter," Alec aggressively shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. I slowly looked over his bare torso, completely flawless, without an imperfection. Everything chiseled in so precisely like a stone statue. I flicked my eyes back up and met his gaze before he noticed me staring.

"Of course it matters," I protested. Before I could say more, he turned and looked at me with a frustrated look.

"Why would it matter?" He spat annoyedly, definitely not wanting me to answer it. He scowled as he looked at me like I was being an idiot and that I should know the answer.

"Maybe I didn't tell you because I don't want to have to think about the guilt I feel every time I see you. Maybe I didn't tell you because I knew it'd hurt you," Alec admitted with an angry tone. He had stepped closer to me as he spoke, his muscles clenching as he spoke of the words he obviously never wanted me to hear. His whole body language screamed that he was uncontrollable of his words. I'd hit a nerve inside him.

Alec stared at me now with dark, angered eyes, maybe a foot from me. He towered over me and I could see the way his already prominent jawline stuck out as he clenched his jaw. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, trying to hide the shame I felt for even trying to confront him.

"I - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come," I stuttered remorsefully and turned to leave. Alec grabbed my wrist and spun me around, my back pressed against the wall.

"No," Alec said in a low voice, "you shouldn't have." His face close to mine. I swallowed hard and avoided his eyes by paying attention to his lips as he spoke in merely a harsh whisper.

It was quiet. Absolutely silent. You could've felt the tension radiating off of us. I suppressed my fear of him and felt something surge inside me. Not courage, not bravery. Something I couldn't explain filled me. Something I couldn't control.

I leaned in, my eyes closed as I felt myself lose control over my body. The next thing I knew, a gush of wind swept over me and I was standing in front of my room.

I could feel myself grow cold.

♱♱

"Maybe next time, try not to be so suggestive," I said with an equally serious tone. He stared down at me and his smirk was gone. I stared at him with daring eyes.

"I wasn't being suggestive," He said lowly, trying to defend himself.

"Pinning me up against a wall with your face so close to mine was pretty suggestive," I countered. His lips set in a tight line. His eyes were dark garnet staring down at me.

We didn't say anything. It was dead silent until he finally spoke,

"Maybe I just wanted you to feel threatened and leave," He muttered, avoiding my eyes by staring down at my lips, just like I had the night before. I got close to his face, standing on my tip-toes.

"I was already leaving," I caught him. His lips pressed into a hard line. He didn't say anything to that.

"You're right," He whispered, brushing his lips against mine ever so gently. I froze, yet I didn't stiffen up in shock.

"Maybe I just couldn't handle myself," He murmured and this time pressed his lips against mine, losing control of himself.

He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me harder like this was what he was made for. He kissed me as he lived for this; the desperation just to feel my lips against his took over.

I gasped against his lips. His hands left my neck and held my waist. He pressed me closer to him. He spun us around and pushed me against the stable door. My arms wrapped around his neck. Just a moment later, my hands were laced in his hair.

It felt like something inside me snapped. Like a glass vial filled with smoke broke in two and let the bottled-up smoke fill me. I knew exactly what it was. It was the tension inside me dissipating as he kissed me.

I whimpered against his lips and felt his lips go still. I parted from him and opened my eyes to look at him with confusion. His hands left my waist and he stared at me with conflicted eyes.

"Alec?" I asked in a thick voice, trying to get over the high I had just felt. "Alec, what's wrong?" He distanced himself from me. I could start to feel the wrongness of what had just happened hit me as he stepped away from me. His terrified look was mirrored by my own as I stared back at him.

"That will never happen again," He growled with a threatening tone and in the blink of an eye, he was gone once again.

What had I just done...

😱

❤️😘