Hey humans, it's 3:27am and I've got stuff I want to talk about so let's.

Last August(2019), I unpublished my book Linked and took it down from Wattpad completely.

This came after my third attempt of writing it, it may have been my 2nd acrually- those who were present correct me if I'm wrong please.

But before I deleted it down, I tried pausing, going on breaks, starting from scratch and slowing down my update schedule for it.

None of it worked.

It was really hard for me to delete Linked because it was my 3rd book for the Mated Series and it was about one of my favourite characters to date, Katerina.

But I had to, for multiple reasons but the main ones for me were because:

1) I tried to write that book so many times and each time I kept going wrong.

2) I wasn't excited to write updates.

3) At the time the feedback I was getting wasn't as strong as it was for Beta Mates and Perfect Mates.

4) I was forcing myself to write it and not enjoying it.

So I deleted it, made a long ass message explaining why and I promised my humans that I wouldn't publish any work again that I didn't see myself carrying all the way to the end.

Which, in hindsight, was a bad promise because I write these books for me and promising that is restricting my own creativity.

But anyway,

I think that was the best decision I could've made at that time for myself and my books.

1) I was writing 3 books at once and STRESSING myself out to provide consistent updates.

2) I was trying to world build with very little writing skills at the time and found myself running into blocks I didn't know how to remove.

3) It was my first heterosexual book that I was trying to world build in. I wrote a hetero book before but I don't like it lol and I was lik 14.

4) It was my first time trying to write an adventure book. When I wrote Linked I saw it more of an adventure book than a romance - I wanted it to be Kat's story with some love involved.

So in summary, there were multiple factors that combined to create the ultimate shitshow for a book with great potential - in my eyes.

Almost a full year later, I still get a lot of people asking me about Katerina's book, her story, where Linked went and if I ever plan to write it again.

Most of it is from new readers who didn't see the message and just hear about it in comments and are confused. But some of it is also from my humans who miss the book or wish they could've read it before I took it down.

Honestly, I didn't think people would want Linked as much as they do. As I said, while I was writing it the feedback was very limited in comparison to my other books.

With not much comments for Linked, I saw that as it not doing well or being a bad story. In hindsight, that was probably because I have a bxb audience so of course less people would want to read a Hetero book. And also, I was forcing updates and maybe they didn't enjoy it too much.

idk

But I didn't expect people who were reading it to be disappointed and still disappointed to this day and for new readers to want it so badly.

My plan for Linked was to just put it away until I genuinely wanted to write it again and that's still how I feel today.

My problem is that I also really want to write Linked again 😅

What can I say, my head has changed over the year. I'm better at world-building. I know exactly how I want the main plot to go, but we all know that can change if my fingers decide differently. I also see the romance as a bigger factor in the story. I'm okay with writing a hetero book with NO SEX, I'm too shy to write a hetero sex scene lol.

Also

I think it's important to say that when I'm writing books consistently of a certain genre, it can get boring.

I'm not bored with Delicate, but sometimes I don't want to write about werewolves and that's why I'm really happy now with Master there so I can jump between the two depending on how I'm feeling.

Plus I have my Patreon now and those extras are completely different every month so what I write has become very broad.

But sometimes I want to write about my witch world and my elven one and my incubus one. I have SO MANY IDEAS that are just in my head and I want to get them all out but it takes sooooo long to finish one book.

If I didn't pressure myself so much, I would be writing 5 books at the same time and just updating whichever, whenever I felt it.

I'd be writing my current ones, Linked, one of my random ones and Aias' book.

But I have a huge problem of wanting to keep people happy and I hate to keep people waiting for updates which is nice and all but also stupid because I write these books for me.

It's confusing.

I talked to @ridingbluejeeps about this once, back when she was active, and she used to say how she didn't get how I could control myself to write only 1/2 books. And I was like, I don't get how you can write so many and not get stressed to update them all constantly.

She admired my self control and I liked her lack of it when it came to writing.

The thing is, she did get stressed, but the need to get the stories out, for her, was too strong to keep it all in - or at least that's what I got from our convos.

Sometimes I wish I was like that and then sometimes I'm grateful I'm not.

I'm getting sidetracked and just splurging my thoughts now, let me get back to the subject of Linked.

I tried writing it in the background with the intention of publishing the whole thing one day as a surprise, but I haven't gotten very far. I like feedback(comments) and I feel like I'm writing blind without it.

I thought maybe I should just wait til I have an opening and write it as I do my other books on Wattpad, but I feel like that day would never come if I do that.

I have books in my head for characters for yearsssss, about people you guys don't even know about.

I've made covers for stories I feel won't get a chance for years and that's so annoying to me.

But being realistic, it's understandable. I'm a university student with a life and writing isn't my #1 priority. Lol, with a life- that just made me laugh for some reason

My brain just likes to put it's all in every project I do.

Someone said yesterday that I shouldn't spread myself too thin and I definitely have a bad habit of doing that 😪

I'm already writing 2 books and doing 3 extras a month and I'm here talking about writing 5 books at once lol🤣 nah guys, I'm actually mad.

So in the end, in the case of Linked, I've come down with 2 options and with everything you've read above, please give me your opinions.

Either I continue what I've been doing which is writing my books in the order they present themselves. Only writing 2 books at a time.

OR

I continue what I've book doing with the addition of writing Linked on the sidelines. By this I mean that Linked will not be a priority of mine. I will not be updating it the way I do my other works, I'll be updating it

As in, 5 months may go by without an update and that's just life. It would be like how I'm currently writing the Family Prank War - I do it when I feel like it.

For me, I think this 2nd solution would be like me working on Linked in the background with the feedback I crave from those who won't urge me to update more.

I know it's like unfair for those who would read it and get invested, but if I do this, anyone reading it should go in knowing the situation at hand.

I don't know if that's a good solution or not, but I know with how I'm currently going, Linked may never be written or like years in the future when nobody cares anymore.

Also, these are my thoughts now but they may change. I may end up pressuring myself for updates without anyone else pressing me

... now that I say that, I can definitely see that happening.

Shit.

Okay.

Um

Maybe I should do that second option on Patreon and post the completed book on Wattpad when I'm done?

That actually doesn't sound like a bad option, like I could just add it onto the Gold Tier or make a new tier for it.

I keep writing the current books on Wattpad and then when Linked is all done, I edit it and put it on Wattpad for everyone.

Is that a win, win situation or the beginning of the end? Lol

One thing you guys should NEVER worry about, is my books not being free. I will always share my original books for free, even if I publish one day, the original will stay on Wattpad.

Even if I leave Wattpad, I'll find somewhere to put it for free to read while I'm writing it and after I'm done. I'll even make my own website if I have to.

My original work will always be free.

But anyway,

Okay, so that was a very long, unsuccessful, complicated rant. I'm still as confused if so not more than when I started writing this.

You guys let me know what you guys think and I'll get back to you all💛

It's now 4:36am, I will check back tomorrow I'm going to sleep.

Love you humanssssssssssssss