《Tippy's Notebook》Heil/Calderon Family Prank War - Part 1
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This was a suggestion by and I absolutely loved it. Thank you for all the suggestions by everyone else, I may use a few in the future. Hope you guys like.
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I throw the neon, green tennis ball up, eyes glued to it as I watch it soar through the air before falling back and landing within my awaiting hand. I swipe my thumb over the sprouted hairs asI watch it for a moment.
I throw it back up and go on to repeat the process several times. My eyelids slowly begin to droop, eyes barely open with boredom as the ball rises and falls over and over.
I catch the ball one final time, sitting up on my elbows to look around at my equally bored family that was positioned all over the family room, everyone draped over and around the different pieces of furniture.
Damon sat in his favorite red beanbag, sunk in comfortable while he cleaned one of his knives, black eyes intensely focused on the metal as he wiped and shined it. His attention on the metal making him completely oblivious to a nervous Peter who kept glancing over the edges of his newest book, staring warily at the annoyingly large weapon in our brother's grasp.
On the other side, Levi was seated upright in the corner of the largest couch, fingers playing with his mate's hair while he zoned out on top. A mate who seemed lost in his own head as well, making them a truly fated pair, yet Jayson seemed to be deeper in his own world. His eyebrows creased and pulled several times, smiles coming and going at a disturbing pace.
I look away from the crazy person and watch Hagen chowing down on a chicken bone which had most definitely lost all flavor five minutes ago.
I shared a womb with that thing.
Then there were my parents, both laying on the flooring next to one another in a loving embrace yet they appeared to be more like the children in this room rather than the adults, as they indulged in a poking war. Only seconds of peace passing between them before the other would retaliate and poke back, restarting the war.
It disappointed me greatly that the parent I believed to be the more intelligent of the two was participating in this behavior.
"I'm bored," I announce, letting the ball drop to the floor and roll away as I sit up fully. "Can we do something?"
"Movie?" Hagen suggests, bone still lodged between his teeth.
"No, we watched movies Wednesday night." Damon protests, watching Hagen with disgust similar to my own.
"B-Board games?" Peter offers hopefully.
"I think that's beyond the runt's capabilities," Pa says snickering while looking over at a frowning Jayson, the frown only grew when he saw dad push a grape between his lips.
"They are not," Jayson argues angrily, looking to Levi for support.
Levi pets his head like a newborn puppy before giving him a sad smile that made the hope in his mate's eyes flicker.
"We can try another time babe." He says gently, an easy way of saying the guy was stupid.
"So what else is there?" Hagen asks, head hanging over the edge of the couch now as he swung his legs from side to side above him.
The room falls back into it's earlier silence as all our minds work, trying to pull together something which everyone could participate in.
"Aiden, remember that one time with the eggs and chocolate ice-cream?" Dad says suddenly, looking to his mate whose eyes light up with excitement.
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"Food war!" He exclaims, jumping to his feet.
"Absolutely not." Dad deadpans, shutting him down before his excitement could spread to us. "Let's not waste food this time and alter it slightly, I was thinking a prank war maybe."
"P-Pranks?" Peter asks nervously, body trembling as he, no doubt, remembered this year's April Fools.
That was fun - My wolf, Xena, comments making me snort with the memory.
- I promise, remembering how he'd left us stranded in a parking lot seven towns away after convincing us there was a sale in one of my favorite stores.
In hindsight, I should've known, I hadn't gotten any notification on my phone and how the hell would Damon know. But cheap clothes had a way of making me doltish.
"We can do it in teams, so no one is on their own." Dad fills in quickly, taking the worry from Peter within a moment. "There's enough of us here for equal teams."
"Just today is too short, it's already the afternoon," Pa argues while looking outside. "Too short to do any real damage."
It was like the room filled with both nerves and enthusiasm at that single word, glances were exchanged as we examined one another. Memories and interactions mixing together to spark together the best ideas to scare or truly fuck with someone.
"Let's do it for the entire weekend," I suggest, smiling back at Damon when he smirked approvingly. If we weren't on the same team, I'd riot. "It's only Friday evening and we can stretch it all weekend."
Everyone nods in agreement, well everyone but Peter.
"C-Can I b-be referee?" Peter squeaks hopefully while gripping his book so tightly it began to tear apart.
"No, we need you for the teams to be equal Peter," Damon says giving his blonde head a little rub. "Don't worry, no one will hurt you too badly."
That didn't really help because Peter just seemed more terrified than he had before.
"How do we pick the teams?" Jayson asks eagerly, sitting up and away from Levi's grasp.
"Will you be able to keep up?" Pa taunts, but the man only smirks while his eyes glow creating a deeper, haunting black than the one he carried every day.
"You seem to have forgotten about the trip, I think I got you good with my little chemical experiment," Jayson says, his reminder making everyone break off into a series of heavy laughter that makes Pa's jaw lock.
Best prank ever - Jayson making Aiden think he peed on his bed.
A golden prank for a man who had a disturbing fear of the excrement.
"The kids pick who's team they want to be on, Julian and I are team leaders." He announces, choosing to ignore the jab from Jayson.
Pulling his fatass up, he reaches down to help dad up. They stand apart, glaring and smiling at one another as the war steered to life.
"It'll be just like old times, before the whole mating thing," Pa says with a look of pure evil in his eyes.
"Just like old times." Dad repeats slowly, eyes gleaming with hidden ideas before he turned to us. "Youngest pick first."
Everyone turns to Hagen who smiles happily before flipping onto his side before sliding off the couch and standing. He walks up to our parents, looking between them nervously.
"I'm going with the man I know will win." He says before making his way to Pa, only to turn and run to dad in the last second.
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Pa grabs his chest acting pained while Hagen hugs Dad tightly, Dad snickers happily while rubbing Hagen's head, sticking out a tongue out at his mate.
"I don't know why I expected more from a little shitbag," Pa comments with disappointment drowning his tone.
"Josey, you're up next," Levi says with a humor-filled grin.
"You already know I'm on your team grandpa so stop crying," I say while making my way over to Pa who cheers happily. He picks me up before I could stop him, jumping with me in his hands sending my hair flopping all over the place.
"The better twin, thank you, Goddess." He says when he finally sets me down, glaring at a frowning Hagen. "Shitbag."
"Peter," Damon says giving Peter a little shove.
Peter stumbles forward with his ripped book in hands, eyes darting nervously between Pa's side and Dad's.
"Dad." He whimpers while running to his older lookalike who welcomed him with open hands. He looks over to Pa to whisper a quiet. "Sorry, papa."
"It's fine, you may be nice and sweet, but you're still a shitbag," Pa comments while looking to a sad Peter. "Stick with your shitbag father."
"I'm mated to a child," Dad mumbles exasperatedly while holding Peter to him.
"Damon," I say and watch nervously as he sets his knives down and comes to us.
"Do you guys really think I'd chose anyone else?" Damon says with a wicked grin as he walks over to Pa and me, taking us in a bear hug.
"Thank fuck," Pa says while squeezing Damon back, suffocating me in the process. He pulls apart and smiles between the two of us. "We're going to scar them for life."
"Aiden," Dad warns tiredly.
"You said war, this is war." He replies, slinging both arms over Damon and me while looking at the rival team.
As if to size us up, Hagen crosses his arms tightly against his chest, sending us a deep glare while standing protectively in front of Dad who's ice-cold gaze ran through each of us as if to tear us apart. Peter just stayed tucked into his side, not daring to look up.
"Okay, everyone calm down," Levi says as he approaches us. "Me next right?"
"I will return you if you don't pick me," Pa warns while glaring at Levi who puts his arms up in surrender.
"Levi, come on." Damon encourages.
"Sorry guys, but I think I'm going to connect a bit with my Heil roots," Levi says backing up to the two blondes and the idiot I called my other half.
Three jaws drop to the floor with disbelief as we watch Levi pick the guerilla side which gives him high-fives upon entry.
"You're catching flies love," Dad says to Pa, gesturing with his hand to close his mouth. "It's not a nice look for you."
Pa's teeth grind together as he watches Levi with glowing eyes that Levi only sends back, smirk deep as he surveyed us.
"It isn't a war if we've already won." He barbs and only laughs when Hagen releases a warrior cry.
We'd been betrayed, you really couldn't trust anyone...
"So I guess I'm with you guys."
We turn our heads to look at an awkwardly waiting Jayson who'd come towards us, his hands rubbing together as he offered us a smile that did nothing to hide the dread in his eyes.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Damon groans with realization.
"The fucking runt." Pa spits with disdain.
"Welcome to the dark side Jayson," I say with a small shrug.
Jayson didn't seem very excited to be with us, I couldn't blame him but he was safer here with us.
Damon, Pa and I were unarguably the most fucked in the head in our family of psychopaths and we were the ones who knew the best ways to completely wreck our family members.
This war would be won on this team, that wasn't even a question.
"W-We need r-rules." Peter voices, his voice coming out muffled against dad's shirt. "R-Rules and g-guidelines so n-nobody get h-hurt."
"Oh sweet, little shitbag, someone is definitely getting hurt." Pa coos gently making Peter tremble more. "But no one will hurt you, Peter, so calm down."
Like the weight of one hundred bunnies had slipped from his shoulders, Peter quickly melted with relief. Zoning out from there knowing he was relatively safe in all this.
"We still need rules," Dad argues. "I say this can't go beyond the pack borders."
Everyone nods their agreement.
"No outside help," Levi adds.
"Fair." Pa agrees.
Fuck that, Aunt Katerina was on our side, that went without saying.
"There will be a stalemate for one hour every six hours," Dad says clearly making Damon frown deeply.
"Scared?" He questions as he spins his knife, the action making Hagen gulp.
"Of hurting you too much? Sure pup." Dad replies making Damon's eyes twitch. "I know you'll need your rest so you'll get an hour, but only one hour."
Damon opens his mouth to protest but Pa stops him with a diplomatic smile that made Levi shift uncomfortably.
"Thank you." He says with a disturbing level of sweetness to his tone. "One more rule, wolf forms can be used."
Dad's eyes narrow suspiciously at that, studying his mate with the need to crack open his plans but failing to see through Pa's high walls.
They have a deep staring contest that sang years worth of conflict and pranks that would only continue through us.
This shit would be so fucking awesome.
"Fine." He agrees begrudging. "If that's all, we'll start in three hours, that's enough time to plan isn't it?"
"More than enough." Pa agrees with a grin. "Three hours."
"Three hours," Dad repeats before turning and leaving with the others backing away after him.
"Follow me," Pa says seriously before turning and walking out.
Damon chases after him without question, grabbing his knives on his way out the door. Jayson gives me a worried look, one eyebrow raising with a silent question but I only shrug and gesture for him to go first. He obliges and we follow after Pa.
When we find Damon and Pa shifting outside, we make quick work of doing the same and running after them. I sprint besides Jayson, still a little dazed at the bear of a wolf he inhabited in his second form.
A big black blur running between the trees that squashed my own brown fur in comparison.
One day we'll be just as big - Xena assures me with a tone dripping with a strength that urged me on.
I comment as we study him with admiration.
The academy is your's for the taking, you just have to want it bad enough - Xena comments and I growl slightly at her words.
Good.
With that, she fades away just as Dad's black wolf slows with Damon's white one right behind him. He shifts and leads us through the woods, looking around before squatting down and brushing away some leaves.
He reveals a latch that he tugs on a few times, making metal and rust creak to reveal a staircase that went deep underground.
"What the fuck do you do in your spare time old man?" Damon questions, chuckling when Pa gives him a smack before making his way down the stairs.
"This is weird," Jayson states but it sounded more like a query. "This is weird right? It's not a me situation like this doesn't happen normally right? This is weird."
"We're a weird family," I say as Damon goes down after dad. "That's why you fit in."
I give his back a hard slap that makes him wince, I smile with pride and skip down the steps.
"Shut the door behind us!" Pa yells from deep within.
Jayson obliges, locking us inside of darkness. I make my way down the stairs carefully, hands trialing the narrow walls for guidance.
"This way," Pa calls from deep inside once we hit the bottom.
We follow behind him, using our barely eligible night vision to make it through the deep, narrow tunnels.
We all shuffle into a space that suddenly lights up with a center bulb that hung from a loose cord.
I blink several times to clear my vision, looking around with a mixed bag of emotions as I look around the room stocked with canned foods, paint all guns, real guns, weapons and tools of all sorts that seemed like a hunter's wet dream.
But what really fucked with me, was the wall full of papers and notes, red tape separating each person, identified by a picture on the top.
There was one for everyone in the family, the largest being Dad's and the smallest, mine.
"What the hell is this?" Damon asks as he approaches his section.
He reads it, scanning over the various pictures and papers before pulling one of the papers from the walls and ripping it to shreds. He looks to Pa, eyes glowing and canines extended despite the heavy blush on his cheeks.
"How the fuck do you know about that?" He growls, still ripping the little bits of paper apart until there was nothing left.
"Not important." Pa says simply, brushing him off. "I've been gathering this for a while now, knowing the day would come soon."
"The day?" I ask as I look at my own section, scanning it briefly.
I smile proudly to see that so many of my slots were unknown, I knew better than to show my hand to the crazy fuckers I called a family.
"This day," Pa says with excitement. "The First Family Prank War. This is just the first of many and who winds this will set the tone forever."
"So this is what the number one alpha in the world does instead of his job?" Jayson says humourlessly as he reads Levi's section. "How disappointing."
"Shut it runt." Pa snaps while Damon smiles a little at Jason's comment. "This is serious guys, do not underestimate your father. He makes it sound like I was the only one who was cruel when we were growing up, that fucker is a spawn of Satan. He will destroy us all, right now you're not his kids, he only had three kids now, you're the enemy."
"That's being a tad bit dramatic oldie," I reply with tremendous doubt.
Dad barely fought unless it was absolutely necessary and he didn't take pleasure in any of the childish activities Pa did. However, it was a little strange that he was the one to suggest a prank war. I'd quicker expect him to suggest some shit like Scrabble rather than this.
"There's a reason we're mates," Pa argues, which honestly won me over a lot easier than it had any right to. "He'll come for us hard, he's a whole lot smarter than we think him to be."
"I mean I doubt that, cause I think of him to be really fucking smart," Damon argues through a low mumble. "Like Einstein and G-"
"Smarter," Pa says cutting him off. "So we got to be prepared."
"Aren't you guys taking this all a little too seriously?" Jayson asks, glancing between the three of us unsurely. "When you guys said Prank War I expected something like to be dumped with water in my sleep or to eat a strawberry instead of a grape."
This poor innocent creature, he honestly didn't deserve to be dumped into a family as insane as ours.
"Jayson," I start as I think of the right words. "If you weren't on this team, you would be in a box underground thinking you were buried alive. We wouldn't do anything crazy like convince you that Levi was dead... but we could and so can they. Yeah, this is all fun and games, but this is fun and games with this family."
"Heil's and Calderon's," Damon says proudly before pulling out one of the paintball guns. "If there was any mix of werewolves that shouldn't have been, it'd be us."
"And now you're one of us," I continue while looking up at him. "So you better get your shit together because this is war."
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