I was honestly pretty bummed out about the fact that Vanessa wasn't coming to the party with us. Lately, I felt like I couldn't get enough of her. I always wanted her around. I quickly got ready for the party and called her.

"Hey, baby."

I smiled when I heard her voice.

"Hey, Nessa. What are you up to, baby?"

My smile grew as her giggle sounded through my phone.

"Watching Magic Mike with Leila."

I chuckled. "Again?"

"Yupp."

I shook my head as I grabbed my wallet.

"What else do you ladies have planned for tonight?"

I rolled my eyes when I heard Leila's loud reply.

"We're gonna order our own set of strippers and have fun without you!"

I chuckled as I faintly heard Nessa's dad say that strippers were a no go.

"Are you getting ready for the party?"

"Yeah, I'm actually about to head out and meet the guys there."

"Okay, babe. Have fun! I love you!"

"Love you too! I'll text you when I get there."

When I got to Sheila's house the party was already in full swing. I made my way to the kitchen and said 'hi' to a few familiar faces on the way. I spotted the guys and clapped Trevor on the back.

"What's up."

"Took you a long enough."

Michael nodded his head at me.

"You want a drink?"

"Pass me a Stella."

Trevor smirked at me as I took a swig of my beer.

"What?"

"You don't have to look that bummed about having to hang out with us."

I took a moment to text Vanessa and let her know that I made it before responding.

"You know I love you guys. Things just seem a bit duller without Vanessa."

I clenched my jaw when Michael muttered something under his breath about me needing this energy earlier. So I made a mistake and they were just going to keep throwing it in my face? I rolled my neck and downed the rest of my beer.

"I'll be back."

When I left the living room I spotted Sheila in the crowd of people in the living room.

"Hey, great party!"

"Thanks, Emmet! Let me know if you need anything."

"Actually, are there any rooms that you would be cool with me making a phone call in?"

"Yeah! upstairs, second door on the left."

"Thanks, Sheila."

When I made it upstairs I closed the door and called Vanessa.

"Missing me already?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, actually."

"You know, you've been really cute lately."

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm."

"And what does cute get me?"

"Hmm... I don't know. I definitely feel like kissing you right now."

"Love the sound of that. What else can it get me?"

"Why don't you keep it up and we'll find out."

"I think I can manage that. Are you having fun with Leila?"

"Yeah, we always have a good time. Leila fell asleep on me though."

I hummed. "Sounds like I should leave the party early and come over."

"Tempting, very tempting."

"But?"

"I've been monopolizing your time because I'm selfish and I love you. You haven't really hung out with the guys lately so whatever you wanna do is up to you."

I felt my heart clench.

"I don't deserve you. I'll check in with the guys and see how I feel. I'll text you when I figure it out."

"That's fine, babe. I'll talk to you later. Love you."

"I love you too."

When the line clicked I sighed. The last thing I wanted to was deal with a bunch of drunk assholes. I started typing a message out to Vanessa telling her that I was coming over when the bedroom door open.

"I was told I'd find you in you here."

"Oh for fuck sake, Bianca. Don't have anything better to do?"

"Funny, I was trying to do you."

"Not a chance."

I moved to walk past her when she put her hand on my chest.

"You're so quick to say that now, but let's not forget about how you thoroughly enjoyed fucking me. "

"Trust me I'm trying to forget."

"Keep telling yourself that."

I pushed past her and made my way back to the kitchen. I shoved Trevor and Michael and poured myself a cup of whiskey.

"What's your deal?"

I gave Michael a shrug.

"Finally getting into the partying mood."

I ignored the look that the two shared and guzzled the rest of my drink. I guess I was turning into a drunk asshole tonight. I was tired of everyone throwing my mistake in my face. I was trying to forget. I was trying to move on. What the hell was so hard about letting me do that? It was hard enough trying to ease the pangs of guilt that arose whenever I with Vanessa. Wasn't that enough?

I poured some more whiskey into my cup.

"Dude, maybe you should slow down."

I shrugged Trevor off of me and downed the rest of my cup.

"Seriously, what's going on with you? What happened while you were gone?"

I glared at him and Michael.

"What happened is that no one wants to mind their own fucking business. When the hell did you guys become my babysitter?"

Michael scoffed "We're sorry we tried to help. Thought it was in the friend description. There's not a page in the friendship guide book on dealing with drunk bitches, though."

I stepped towards him.

"You look like you have more that you want to say."

"And if I do?"

"Why don't you get it off your chest?"

Michael stepped towards me and Trevor gripped his shoulder.

"He's already made his decision. We tried. We did our part. Now whatever he does in his drunk stupor is on him."

After he pulled Michael back Trevor turned to me.

"If anytime through the night you feel like acting like less of an asshole and talking to us, you know where to find us."

I watched as they made their way to the beer pong table and grabbed another drink. I didn't even know what it was but I like the way it burned going down. Why would I talk to them about it? All they would do is put me down and lecture me on what I already know. They adored Vanessa so all it would be is them making me feel like an even bigger piece of shit than I already do. What would be the point in that? I already knew I fucked up. Now I was taking drinks left and right. It didn't matter what it was. I just wanted these feelings to vanish. I wanted the guilt to go away. Just for a while. I don't even know how many cups of alcohol I had before I realized that the alcohol was only intensifying everything. It wasn't wiping away my guilt, it was drowning me in it. I finally put my cup down and stumbled my way to the guest bedroom.

I sat on the bed before laying back. Shit. I should have just finished sending my text and headed over to Vanessa's house. The guilt would still be there but at least I would still be holding her. I made no move to get up when someone stepped into the bedroom. They would leave once they realized who I was. I felt a flash of annoyance when I felt the bed dip beside me. I lazily turned my head to the side to see Bianca sitting next to me.

"You're having a rough night, huh?"

"Whose fault do you think that is?"

"Want me to make it better?"

"You can't. Nothing can."

"Maybe not long-term, but right here and right now, I make you feel better, Emmett."

I ignored her and stared up at the ceiling. No one ever just left me alone when I wanted to be alone. I jolted out of my thought when I felt her tug at my pants.

"Are you serious right now? This is what caused all of my problems in the first place!"

Bianca rolled her eyes.

"You're the one that turned it into a problem. All you had to do was break up with her."

"All I had to do was break with the girl that I've been planning on marrying since I was six? Huh, sounds pretty simple to me."

I shook my head and pushed her off of me.

"Why are you fighting us so hard?"

"There is no 'us', Bianca. I don't want you."

"Funny because I've been stroking you through your pants and you're already hard."

"Don't you get tired of this? Thinking you got me, just for me to leave you for her?"

"You're a real asshole, you know?"

"And yet, you're still here. You've got some strange taste, hon."

I stood up and reached in my pocket for my phone before I realized it was still on the bed.

Bianca saw where my gaze landed and quickly snatched up my phone.

"Seriously?"

Bianca hiked up her skirt and spread her legs.

"If you want it, come get it."

She was really starting to piss me off and apparently drunk and pissed off equated to idiocy for me. I climbed onto the bed and crawled up to her. She tightened her grip on my phone when I reached for it.

"Are you really doing this right now?"

Bianca gave me a coy smile and wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Doing what?"

"Give me my phone."

"Nope."

"Look, I'm trying not to be rough with you. Can you cut the bullshit and give me my phone?"

"When have I ever been afraid of you getting a little rough with me? Go ahead."

Bianca gave me a knowing smile and with her free hand, she pushed her bra over her breast. She bit her lip as she teased her nipples.

"Em, I'm so ready for you right now. Please."

I was pissed, horny, and beyond drunk. So my response was anything but what it should have been. I should have told her to fuck off.

"You wanna get fucked that badly? Fine."

I freed my erection and caught Bianca's satisfied grin.

"I wouldn't look too happy just yet. I'm taking you up on your offer to be rough. Get on your hands and knees."

Bianca did as she was told and turned her head back to me.

"Bring it on."

I rubbed my tip against her wetness before thrusting into her fast and hard. I tried to keep a steady rhythm but the louder Bianca's moans grew the more my stomach churned and my chest tightened. My phone flashed and my lock screen popped up with a picture of Vanessa. My pace faltered. This was a perfect time to leave. Go home and scrub everything about Bianca off of me and I almost did until she tightened herself around me. I was starting to realize that I wasn't very strong-willed. In order to lift the guilt of what I was doing, I imagined I was with Vanessa. I was so intoxicated that I started to believe the delusion was real. I lost it when I thought about her touch, her scent, and the way she sounded when I was in her. I was about to cum when Bianca's voice cut through my delusion. I quickly pulled out of her and came on her back. I immediately fixed myself and snatched up my phone. As I walked out of the room I saw Michael come out of the bathroom.

"What the hell, dude? We've been looking for you everywhere."

Trevor's voice called out.

"Have you seen Em yet?"

"Yeah, he's right here."

Trevor jogged up the stairs.

"Look, we're getting ready to go. We came to get you. I think we should sit down and talk because the shit you were doing earlier, that was destructive as hell."

"He's right. You do know that one of the major points of best friends is having people you can talk to when shit hits the fan."

I didn't even know what to say to them right now. Bile rose in my throat as I tried to form words. I cursed my luck as Bianca stumbled out of the room fixing her skirt. I cast my gaze to the side because I knew what type of face they would be making by now.

"Are you serious?"

"You're kidding right?"

I clenched my eyes closed. I really wished this was just a really bad dream.

"You know, I really don't understand you. You have a girl that people would kill to have. If you wanted to lower your standards and fuck around why didn't you just break up with Vanessa?" Michael asked in disbelief.

"I-I don't-"

"Maybe because that bitch couldn't take a hint."

I gnashed my teeth together and clenched my fist. I've never hit a woman in my life and I wasn't about to start now. I was going to tell her to shut up when Trevor beat me to it.

"Shut the fuck up. If anyone wanted you to speak than they would have asked you to do so."

Bianca gasped and pulled on my sleeve.

"Are you going to let him talk to me like that?"

I shrugged her off of me and stormed downstairs. I wanted to get as far away from this party as possible. The alcohol was wearing off and I was starting to feel shittier by the second.